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RE: Why is it important a submiisive be reliable? - 8/5/2008 4:57:57 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterHermes

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zaraseeks

It seems a lot of people are thinking more a long the ;ines of being somewhere at a certain time, ect, i am thinking more carrying out assignments, all dutys of being submissive. why is it important to  count on your submissive, and subs, why is it important your doms count on you?


Are you serious while asking why its important to be able to count on somebody close to you? Do you really  not understand it by yourself and need explanation from others or are you asking it for the sake of having a new discussion thread?


Agreed.  It's almost like asking why you prefer someone who bathes regularly. 

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RE: Why is it important a submiisive be reliable? - 8/5/2008 5:06:20 AM   
TysGalilah


Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Zaraseeks

It seems a lot of people are thinking more a long the ;ines of being somewhere at a certain time, ect, i am thinking more carrying out assignments, all dutys of being submissive. why is it important to  count on your submissive, and subs, why is it important your doms count on you?


....because actions speak louder than words. 
" ohhh I want to please and serve you Sir/Maam...I want to make you happy, I will do anything to show my devotion"
 
they are your words, perhaps...but your actions are what create the trust and uphold your part of the Ds dynamic.
 
as the dominant:
don't tell me...show me.
 
as the submissive:
I have an innate desire to (be) please(ing)
and repulsion to displeasing.   my actions to his/her desires are the way I show my devotion and service.  There are only so many times I can say the words above and speak of how deep my devotions runs.  What his directions and commands do is give me a vessel to express my submission.  My actions speak my feelings and emotions better than my words can or will.
 
unreliability
  creates a chasm between  my words of submission and my act of submission.
 
 
 
 
 

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.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

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RE: Why is it important a submiisive be reliable? - 8/5/2008 5:29:52 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Well first.. I never got the idea of assignments, that seems so schoolish to me.  But when someone asks me to do something and I have agreed to do it *note that I have agreed*, then why would I push that back on the priority list?  I agreed. 
If the guy is making up silly tasks and assignments for me just to prove dominance he probably isnt someone I would end up with.  But lets say for a bit of time I was his, he asked, I agreed, then it is my job to hold up to my agreement.  Not so much for him, but for me.  Because when I say I will do something, it makes me look bad when I dont.
I am not a reflection of my dominant.  Any dominant over me can stand on his own merit without needing my behavior to validate his power.  I am not a reflection of anyone but me.  And I really dont like my reflection to say, liar, loser, poser, unreliable, there is someone I cant count on, flake, ect.  I want to know I am the type of person who will do something I promised to do.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: Zaraseeks

It seems a lot of people are thinking more a long the ;ines of being somewhere at a certain time, ect, i am thinking more carrying out assignments, all dutys of being submissive. why is it important to  count on your submissive, and subs, why is it important your doms count on you?

(in reply to Zaraseeks)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Why is it important a submiisive be reliable? - 8/5/2008 5:47:17 AM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		Why is it important a submissive be reliable? I don't think a submissive or indeed anyone has to be reliable.

I've been coming to these boards for some time and from what I can see there's two main strategies in BDSM - the first is to be reliable, but there is the other, and that is to be totally unpredictable. Being unpredictable often appears to be just as popular as being reliable.


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RE: Why is it important a submiisive be reliable? - 8/5/2008 6:04:25 AM   
MasterHermes


Posts: 136
Joined: 5/23/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

Why is it important a submissive be reliable? I don't think a submissive or indeed anyone has to be reliable.

I've been coming to these boards for some time and from what I can see there's two main strategies in BDSM - the first is to be reliable, but there is the other, and that is to be totally unpredictable. Being unpredictable often appears to be just as popular as being reliable.



- stella my dear, I am feeling very sick, can you please call the doctor?
- Die Hermes!!
 
   Who wouldnt love to be suprised like that? :)

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RE: Why is it important a submiisive be reliable? - 8/5/2008 7:54:37 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Zaraseeks

I have been facing this a lot in my current power exchange, all things aside (excuses) I still am not being reliable, so Doms why do you find it important your sub be reliabe and subs, why is it important to you as a sub to be reliabe to your do, of course there are a lot of surface answers but i am looking for something deeper, you guys may be surprised what you find one you start to type, thanks
lil zara


gotta be kidding right?

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RE: Why is it important a submiisive be reliable? - 8/5/2008 7:56:27 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Zaraseeks

I agree cali, and thanks, but i am wondering why people deem it specificly important with a dubmissive


Do they?

I find it equally necessary for all people.

Someone who is unreliable basically isn't acting in the most mature manner he/she can. I only do BDSM and have Ds with mature people. Thus unreliable is an immediate "Sorry, you are not for me" issue.

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RE: Why is it important a submiisive be reliable? - 8/5/2008 8:03:52 AM   
CruelDesires


Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zaraseeks

I have been facing this a lot in my current power exchange, all things aside (excuses) I still am not being reliable, so Doms why do you find it important your sub be reliabe and subs, why is it important to you as a sub to be reliabe to your do, of course there are a lot of surface answers but i am looking for something deeper, you guys may be surprised what you find one you start to type, thanks
lil zara


gotta be kidding right?


Sometimes it seems that common sense, is not so common.

C-D

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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Why is it important a submiisive be reliable? - 8/5/2008 8:06:16 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		I don't get this question, at all.

Every person needs to be reliable in order to function with another. Male, female, trans etc.

Unless you speak of being reliable in some sort of way that eludes me?

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RE: Why is it important a submiisive be reliable? - 8/5/2008 9:26:20 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		~fast reply~

I do have one comment to make on why there may be the perception that there is special emphasis on a submissive individual being reliable. I would hazard that many dominant individuals have already mastered (no pun intended) their own reliability to match their circumstance. For myself, although I am extremely chaotic, I work with individuals on a daily basis who have concrete deadlines that I must meet, so my chaos has to find another outlet, because I -must- be reliable and therefore I take the responsibility for doing so.

I would hazard that many submissive individuals also attend to their own needs for reliability, according to their own circumstance. However, when a submissive individual yields to a dominant individual at a certain level, especially if the submissive individual has a tendency towards unreliability, procrastination, etc., the dominant individual, in order to discipline that submissive individual in the direction that will best serve the dominant's purpose, will strictly enforce the issue of being reliable. I have had to do so on a number of occasions, because the servant did not grasp the concept of reliability. Truly, in this case, dedication to the dominant individual's aims in cultivating the practice of reliability will be in the submissive individual's favor as well, since reliability is a much sought-after skill set in the common culture, as well as in the BDSM culture.

Calla Firestorm

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***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

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RE: Why is it important a submiisive be reliable? - 8/6/2008 7:28:49 PM   
Zaraseeks


Posts: 130
Joined: 9/5/2007
Status: offline 		ok before I get started on how people pn these boards tend to take things wrong, I will say I am NOT asking IS it important for a sub to be reliable, rather why to you is it important, of course it is importantr, in general its important to be reliab,e no need to throw stones, cause we all have ouit ways of testing and some of you would find not being reliable is one of your ways...if you would care to look,  I know why its imprtant to me and my Owner that I am reliable and when I prove not to I understand why for me and Her this is an issue Wwe need to look at, I just thought this would be an interesting thred


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RE: Why is it important a submiisive be reliable? - 8/6/2008 7:50:50 PM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline 		OP, it could be interesting, but the way you stated the original topic made it sound like you were asking the same thing as "why is air breathable?  maybe if it had a little more info like your last post, it would have gotten different responses.

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RE: Why is it important a submiisive be reliable? - 8/7/2008 6:38:16 AM   
DavidS8ist


Posts: 97
Joined: 7/8/2004
From: NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Zaraseeks

I agree cali, and thanks, but i am wondering why people deem it specificly important with a dubmissive


Because if you're unreliable, you're gone.

Period.

Age quod agis.

There's one rule for mine:  Obey or leave.

D.

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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Why is it important a submiisive be reliable? - 8/7/2008 7:06:15 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Zaraseeks

ok before I get started on how people pn these boards tend to take things wrong, I will say I am NOT asking IS it important for a sub to be reliable, rather why to you is it important, of course it is importantr, in general its important to be reliab,e no need to throw stones, cause we all have ouit ways of testing and some of you would find not being reliable is one of your ways...if you would care to look,  I know why its imprtant to me and my Owner that I am reliable and when I prove not to I understand why for me and Her this is an issue Wwe need to look at, I just thought this would be an interesting thred




I don't always have access to the 'big' picture. If I blow anything off, then I'm withholding information that Himself has deemed pertinent and since I don't have all the big picture details I might not be aware that the information may not seem important to me, but it is to him. If I'm late and don't call (rare, rare, rare) then he's going to worry. It's not part of my job description to make him worry about me. If I don't do an assignment or task, then he doesn't have access to the information or result he seeks which could result in decision making that is not in the best interest of the relationship or even result in some financial cost or other cost because of my action or inaction to do his will. For me, this is about enhancing his life and time on this planet because that enhances my own. To make things easier and more entertaining for him, transparency, reliability and willingness are some of the tools I must utilize to get the job done.

We recently spent some time in Dublin at the Mespil Hotel. I researched and ultimately choose that hotel because it fit in with our budget and was a perfect location for the areas of Dublin we wished to visit. Had I blown off my research assignment, we might have ended up at a place that wasn't as convenient, was more expensive or was unsuitable for some other reason. Instead, because of my research, we were able to have an amazing time at a great hotel with almost everything within walking distance and the extra money I saved by doing my research and getting the best deal gave us more to spend on the vacation and souveniers as well as the time saved by being able to walk everywhere which allowed us to see more of Ireland than we would otherwise have had the opportunity to enjoy - just an example. :)

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RE: Why is it important a submiisive be reliable? - 8/7/2008 8:14:08 AM   
natasha66


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline 		For me, reliability in ANY relationship, D/s, friends, family etc., is VITAL.  An unreliable person eventually erodes my trust in them, and eventually the relationship fades.  It's not just a D/s thing.....

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Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.



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RE: Why is it important a submiisive be reliable? - 8/7/2008 11:47:46 AM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Zaraseeks

I have been facing this a lot in my current power exchange, all things aside (excuses) I still am not being reliable, so Doms why do you find it important your sub be reliabe and subs, why is it important to you as a sub to be reliabe to your do, of course there are a lot of surface answers but i am looking for something deeper, you guys may be surprised what you find one you start to type, thanks
lil zara


For me, this is a major issue.  It applies to everyone in my life, not just my girl.  There are a lot of things I could say, but the bottom line is: reliability is a measure of how much I can trust someone.  I don't deal well with lies, even "white" ones.  The fastest way to earn yourself an express ticket out of my life, with extreme prejudice, is to lie to me.  Omission counts.  I do not trust easily or often, so if you manage to get it, feel special because you're one of the few.
 
My girl has some chronic health issues, so I give her a lot more latitude than I would to someone else.  However, I'm only willing to tolerate flakiness to a point.  At some point, if she doesn't work to be as reliable as she's physically able to be, my irritation with her lack of reliability will reach critical mass.  When that happens -- relationship over.  I hope it never comes to that, but I'm a misanthrope.  I tend to expect and plan for the worst.
 
I won't presume to tell you how to conduct your relationship with your owner.  However, I hope you'll allow me to suggest that you carefully examine why you have failed to be reliable.  How important is your relationship to you?  Do you consider it casual, and therefore low on your priority list, or does it mean as much to you as a marriage?  If it's not important to you, you might want to rethink why you want to be with your owner.  If it carries as much weight as a marriage, then I hope you'll do your best to be reliable in the future.  Your reliability shows her how much you care and I'm sure your owner will thank you for it.

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(in reply to Zaraseeks)
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RE: Why is it important a submiisive be reliable? - 8/7/2008 12:01:14 PM   
pixidustpet


Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Zaraseeks

It seems a lot of people are thinking more a long the ;ines of being somewhere at a certain time, ect, i am thinking more carrying out assignments, all dutys of being submissive. why is it important to  count on your submissive, and subs, why is it important your doms count on you?


in very general terms....

your employer would be justified in firing you if you showed up late (or no call/no showed), didnt do your work, couldnt/wouldnt complete assignments on time.

why, then, should a dominant keep a submissive who wont respect them any more than they respect their employer?

kitten

(in reply to Zaraseeks)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Why is it important a submiisive be reliable? - 8/8/2008 3:30:36 PM   
Zaraseeks


Posts: 130
Joined: 9/5/2007
Status: offline 		Grr, I understand it for myself, I am NOT asking advice just how others view it for themselves

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RE: Why is it important a submiisive be reliable? - 8/8/2008 4:07:26 PM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Zaraseeks

I have been facing this a lot in my current power exchange, all things aside (excuses) I still am not being reliable, so Doms why do you find it important your sub be reliabe and subs, why is it important to you as a sub to be reliabe to your do, of course there are a lot of surface answers but i am looking for something deeper, you guys may be surprised what you find one you start to type, thanks
lil zara


Reliability is as important to my Sir as my word is to anyone or my employer.  It says alot about character.
 
Sir's property, rs

(in reply to Zaraseeks)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Why is it important a submiisive be reliable? - 8/8/2008 4:08:44 PM   
Daes


Posts: 246
Joined: 4/20/2007
From: Diamond Bar, SoCal
Status: offline 		If /I/ was unreliable, I would not be His. For U/us part of being trustworthy is being reliable. He goes out of his way to spend time with me, do what he says he will, and keep his word.

If He couldn't rely on me how could he fully trust me, if he couldnt trust me, he would not love me the way he does. It is important for our Relationship that I be reliable and trustworthy. It is important to our dynamic and they way things work. It is based on mutual trust, honesty, and respect.


_____________________________

~*Estrellita*~
I want to be in surrender of His strength, of His power. Alone, I am nothing, but in His arms I am all things...

~His puppy~

(in reply to Zaraseeks)
Profile   Post #: 60
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