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RE: Our threads and their subtleties..... - 8/7/2008 1:00:52 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		Oh bite me you fobbing idle-headed maggot-gutted hedge pig.







Tee hee!

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Our threads and their subtleties..... - 8/7/2008 1:10:45 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Tee, you flatterer you!

Such a way with words. I'll just bet he is blushing.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Our threads and their subtleties..... - 8/7/2008 1:13:33 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		Blushing?! I wanted him crushed and running for the box of tissues...

damn.

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Our threads and their subtleties..... - 8/7/2008 1:23:59 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Hello, My name is Tress, and I am an addict of all forms.  Specifically here on CM I can indulge my sadism and drama addictions with no real life repercussions.  Thank you, CM.

I admit to fueling and fanning the fire on more than one occasion and I LOVED it.

Yes, LaT, there are many here who post for the emotional beating, and just as many who post to give it to them.  It's a win/win situation!!! 

I do agree with Merc, that those who are too thin skinned, emotionally damaged, or mentally fragile to take what they ask for (the opinions of strangers) without a grain of salt, need to call it and then call it a day.

I can think of just as many people here who have been bashed as haven't, and most of them are none the worse for wear.  There are some that we've all rolled our eyes at, some that we've hit over the head, and some that have learned a thing or two about themselves through posting here, myself included.


_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Our threads and their subtleties..... - 8/7/2008 1:24:14 PM   
pixidustpet


Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		hmm.  absolutely i see that some folks on here give more....pithy replies than others.  and while sometimes i read with my jaw hanging open thinking "OMG, did they really go there???" most of the time i giggle a bit.  cause i'm uncouth like that.

the other thing that i personally think of is that if you dont wish to be percieved as a drama queen/angst magnet....dont always post that type of thing.  the people whose dominants just arent faboo enough for them....the ones who are one health issue after another who dont want to see a physician but ask internet peopleses what they think (ok, i can almost understand that one cause i dont see a doctor...no insurance, no income, and dont want to add anymore financial burden to TheEngineer at the moment)....the WAHWAHWAH how come the dominants/submissives/switches/flavor of the moment that i want wont message me/do message me with dumb shit/wont respond to my message...

some people are the same song on endless repeat.  i hope that i dont do that. 

although....some of the threads can get mighty entertaining on some of those subjects!

kitten

(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Our threads and their subtleties..... - 8/7/2008 2:02:30 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		TRESS!!!!!!!!!!! So nice to see your beautiful smiling face! I hope you and yours are doing well?

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to yourMissTress)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Our threads and their subtleties..... - 8/7/2008 2:10:04 PM   
Deliena


Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline 		Can I sign up for the 12-step drama program please? It sounds like more fun than TV

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Our threads and their subtleties..... - 8/7/2008 2:17:10 PM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		Damn, you mean people actually try using the message board for serious drama free interaction with one another?

Hell, some of the posts here are more entertaining compared to the Sunday Paper Comics.  Though I might start reading those more, if they came out with a DomiGuy comic strip section.

(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Our threads and their subtleties..... - 8/7/2008 2:37:25 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		I'm guilty, and the first to admit it.  But I wouldn't say anything to anyone in here that I wouldn't say to someone in my own close circle in real life.  Obviously, I wouldn't walk up to a casual acquaintance and say it.  But, I feel that if it's posted in a public forum, then it's fair game.

And, if I would do something that warranted it, I would expect someone to say the same things to me.  And they have.  I might have had hurt feelings for a time, but in the end, I've known they were right and I was a better person for it. 

It's like military boot camp....no fuzzy bunnies and warm snuggles there.  But they build character, and I just don't think that's such a bad thing. 

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Our threads and their subtleties..... - 8/7/2008 2:42:38 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Thank you, sweetie.  I am well, as I hope that you and yours are as well.  I tried to send you email on the other side but it says that you don't have a profile?

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Our threads and their subtleties..... - 8/7/2008 2:43:27 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

It seems easier to 'be straight and blunt' (a nice way of being an asshole) with someone on the internet than it is to be positive, (dare I say) gentle, encouraging, understanding and still be firm in your contribution.


If someone comes on the board and clearly displays dysfunctional behavior, should we just hold them and tell them to keep doing the same lest we embrace "a nice way of being an asshole" and tell them to wake the fuck up, look in the mirror, realize THEY are the source of problems in THEIR life and that if they want things to be different THEY have to change the behavior that is causing the problems in their life.

Take a woman who falls in with abusive men.  I could tell her what a big meanie her partner is for hitting her but tomorrow, she is still going to be beaten by that asshole.  Or I could throw cold water on her, try and wake her up to the realization she CHOSE that man, has always chosen that sort of man, and until SHE learns to choose better, she will ALWAYS be with abusive men.

Just like peace isn't the absence of violence, it is the presence of justice, this board could be like CastleRealm, all nice and fluffy and completely useless.  I have said this over and over again but I wish to god I had found "assholes" like those who post on this board to wake my ass up when I first entered the scene, I would have become a lot more healthy a long time ago.

(in reply to restlessdreamer)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Our threads and their subtleties..... - 8/7/2008 2:46:45 PM   
CruelDesires


Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Deliena

Can I sign up for the 12-step drama program please? It sounds like more fun than TV


Sure. Step one. You put your head into the oven. Steps 2 thru 12 you slam the door into your head until you pass out.. or you have reached step 12.

C-D

_____________________________

Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself.
Lois McMaster Bujold, "A Civil Campaign", 1999

(in reply to Deliena)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Our threads and their subtleties..... - 8/7/2008 3:01:10 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I am one of those tough love people.  Suck it up, learn to adapt, find a way to get around or past it.  Heck.. I carried this over into everything.  Even my kids when they were growing up, had their own sick tummy bucket if they were ill and might not make the bathroom in time to toss up some cookies. They had to take care of it and clean it out on their own.  Occasionally I face some self doubt, and for those times I like to see that other people have gone through similar trials.
I don't really pay much attention to drama laden, because we all carry our own drama.  Over my life I find it is much better to expose crap to the wind and let it dry out.  People expose their life details online, on the television, on radio and in print because it helps them sort things in their own mind.  I am all for any avenues that might get people to look at the reasons they do what they do. 

And yeah, there will be people that have the same thing over and over.  Few people can see the wrong turn until they hit the wall.  Some people are so used to that wall that their road is rutted.  It is hard to change paths when that happens.

That is the main reason that I don't hold back, nor feel the need to tread carefully.  It is not my job to put the brakes on them, but heck.. if I see the road has a broken bridge sign on it I am going to mention it.

What really bugs me is not that people are cruel or that they say things with little finesse.  What bugs me is that people see things emotionally.  They will take offense when none was offered.  They will bristle and complain because you do not agree.  And to me that means that in their own head, they have doubts.  People might tell me negative things and really.. that doesnt mean a lot to me.  I would have to know them personally, and they me, for me to place any value on what they say.  Out here.. we are all just pixels, take it or leave it.
Kyst


quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Because I've always been a tough love kind of person, even in real life,  I tend to not take myself or anyone, very seriously.

On the flip side, I've always hated the dramalama laden, overly emotional, sensitive, whiny, dirty laundry airing........stuff. I must say, I tend to want to do some creative duct tape play with that sort of person.

Neither of the above reactions are something to be proud of. Sooooo, in my never ending question to find a way to make LeeAnn a smarter, kinder, more self aware, snarky bitch.........I've been trying to take my gut reactions and look a little more closely.
I certainly don't want to try and toss a wet blanket over anyone's party because I rather enjoy the diversity here.



(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Our threads and their subtleties..... - 8/7/2008 3:18:23 PM   
Deliena


Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires

quote:

ORIGINAL: Deliena

Can I sign up for the 12-step drama program please? It sounds like more fun than TV


Sure. Step one. You put your head into the oven. Steps 2 thru 12 you slam the door into your head until you pass out.. or you have reached step 12.

C-D


Snort - now I need a new keyboard and a new oven door! Damn you C D

(in reply to CruelDesires)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Our threads and their subtleties..... - 8/7/2008 3:35:02 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Civility, courtesy, community, standards.........all fairly fluid words in how different people define them in light of their own life and experience.

So, basically what you are saying is this.

You do not agree with the boundaries set by the moderators of this site and if you ran it, you would have different boundaries. BUT, you don't run it you will ignore what is chaff (to you) and suffer the indignities anyway.


Yup, exactly... including your correct clarification that what is chaff to me is wheat to someone else.  Actually, I'm not even sure that I disagree with the boundaries as set on this site.  This site clealry serves a useful function to me as I come back over and over to read and post so far be it from me to say it's dysfunctional.  For more in-depth conversations, however, I prefer different venues that work better for that sort of thing.  Frequently, I'll take a thread and comment in email rather than on the thread for exactly that reason... to get a different venue that is more likely to yield a thoughtful conversation.  I've also setup or participate in other communites with different dynamics.  Different tools for different purposes.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Our threads and their subtleties..... - 8/7/2008 4:19:23 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Wow UR- you are awesome!

And it's a great and relevant point I think.  How we get to know people is a process, but first impressions are a humongously important chunk to that.  Once a judgement is made (and I make them incredibly fast and accurately) it is extremely hard to change that.

Not impossible- that would be closed minded bad judgement making procedures.  But difficult.

I had enough experience when I first came around to CM that I knew I had to post hard, heavy, highly intellectually to get some real respect over time due to my age.  This has a side effect of being seen as a meanie, as elitist, as uncaring, and many other things.  I was completely willing to go along with that perception because I knew over time I could soften those parts.  What was important was first being seen/listened to. 

The issue comes when people have no idea how they are being perceived and then get upset when a mirror is put to them.  Perception does not necessarily equal reality, but when you are dealing with matters of perception, reality really doesn't matter much.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Our threads and their subtleties..... - 8/7/2008 4:55:29 PM   
UR2Badored


Posts: 506
Joined: 2/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Wow UR- you are awesome!


Awe, shucks--thanks LA!
Now where was that "easy button" when I was searching for that quote on your 17,000+ posts?  I am just glad I did not butcher the thought up more than I did.

< Message edited by UR2Badored -- 8/7/2008 5:10:29 PM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Our threads and their subtleties..... - 8/7/2008 6:18:15 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'm kind of tired after a long work day, but I'm going to give this one a shot.

Count Me right in there with the other forum addicts.  The reason that I've become so much of one is, along with the frivolous things about the one who hasn't called or why don't people reply to emails, there really is some stuff with some good content here.  Sometimes comments, sometimes questions, but most of the time interesting.

As for the drama part, I'm not so sure I'm going to go with that.   I don't think I'd be as fascinated with the boards if it was all fluff all of the time.  Don't get Me wrong, I like hearing about the positive things that are happening in other people's lives.  However, life isn't perfect all of the time, is it?  If all people ever did was write about the good things and blow smoke up everyone's ass, it wouldn't be a very realistic view, would it?   I don't want to hear just the good stuff.  I want to hear how people are facing their challenges, getting over their hurdles, and how their lives really are.  It doesn't become a fairy tale, just because people have discovered or incorporate BDSM.

I'm very much of a belief that, yes, on a public forum, people do need something of a thick skin.  If I post a comment or a question, I've opened Myself up to whatever responses I get.  I don't have any authority to demand how nice everyone has to be to Me.  If I put Myself out there, I get what I get.  For the most part, I think I've gotten pretty good from the folks of CM.  Sure, every once in a while, somebody thinks I'm a twit.  Maybe I was being one at the time.  Still, I'd rather be the person, the imperfect, sometimes positive, sometimes negative, sometime serious, sometimes comical person that exists on My side of the screen as it does yours.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Our threads and their subtleties..... - 8/7/2008 6:21:46 PM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline 		Sometimes I think people get away with too much in their post. Other times I think the Moderators (and others) are being ridiculously overzealous in their censorship. I'd rather let people get away with more. Censorship is stifling.

I'd like to see a special, self-contained, no-holds-barred, non-moderated forum on CM. Give people a place to say absolutely anything they want. I think bondage.com has one. I haven't checked it out for a while, but it was fun. Anyone who enters agrees that anything goes.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Our threads and their subtleties..... - 8/7/2008 7:22:15 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		It's always been my role to be the one who points out that the Emperor has no clothes.  I get to do that a lot here!     I try to do it kindly... because mean people suck, and all that.  At the same time, Auntie is a tough old broad, and you need to man up to survive in Auntieland. 

I do enjoy the drama, and the enabling, too.  I don't live my life on the boards, but I say THANK YOU to those that do, whether those lives are real or imaginary.  It gives me perspective, and it makes me laugh. 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to hardbodysub)
Profile   Post #: 40
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