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RE: No shame in defeat - 8/12/2008 8:00:07 AM

TysGalilah

Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
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How easy do you find it to deal with your failures and defeats? real or perceived? not well. I am muchbetter now than I use to be tho' at accepting my imperfections and weaknesses.. most of them are perceived vs real failures.                                                                                          o you find that sometimes your own standards are higher than that of your D? most of the time.
If you do struggle with admitting defeat, is it pride or shame that stops you? or something else entirely? stops me?
not sure I understand what you mean
   stops me from stopping him? > that would be my desire to never dissappoint or limit him in his desires....and so that would be pride I guess.
or stops me from admitting failure?   > that would be my stupidity and perfectionism no longer in remission.

I don't have alot of experience with stopping him or calling stop...red..whatever.
I don't say that because I think I'm some ubber-sub or something...nope not even close..
I say it because HE stops things...mostly because he knows I will not and so he backs off often times long before I can feel I am close to "too much".
That has been both a blessing and a curse for me..

blessing = it causes/inspires me to have a great deal of trust in him and ability to truly give over my control and surrender to whatever is happening physically and mentally.

curse= because I feel its alterred both of our experiencing the moreextremes in our physical bdsm stuff at times..
Of course he always reassures me that if we are not doing something it is HIS choice and decision and has much less to do with me than I feel guilty that it might.

I am learning..still.

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galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

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RE: No shame in defeat - 8/12/2008 10:00:09 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
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quote:

How easy do you find it to deal with your failures and defeats? real or perceived?

I find it very hard to be honest.

quote:

Do you find that sometimes your own standards are higher than that of your D?

Yes, sometimes where i find failure he finds treasure.

quote:

If you do struggle with admitting defeat, is it pride or shame that stops you? or something else entirely?

Both. Plus a feeling of failure.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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Post #: 22