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Dual side starvation - 11/20/2005 8:25:28 PM   
Saint


Posts: 279
Status: offline
I realized something today. It has been almost a year since I stopped having one night stands with people. One night stands are easy, if you want them. I stopped because I got tired. What do I mean? I got tired of not being able to give myself fully to someone special. I got tired of waking up the next morning feeling empty because I knew the person laying next to me wasnt the mythical 'one' for me. I got tired of cheap satisfaction in the short term and decided to hold myself in check until I found someone special.

In that time since I stopped, I find that the nights have been slowly getting longer and lonelier and my cravings get worse and worse. I so badly want to explore facets of my Dominant side and aspects of my submissive side, but I refuse to do that with a Pro or with a one night stand.

Has anyone ever found that both sides of their personality are feeling starved due to self imposed restraint on your behavior?
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RE: Dual side starvation - 11/20/2005 9:04:07 PM   
Sensualips


Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline
Definitely. However, I choose not to eliminate "cheap satisfaction" from my life. I approve of casual sex or play, as long as all parties involved know it is what it is and share similar expectations. I sometimes enjoy sex or play for simply the physical pleasure. I sometimes connect emotionally or mentally with a partner as well as physically, but not always. However, I recognize I do not have many (maybe any?) truly intimate relationships on ALL three levels and certainly crave that.

To combat it I feed myself on whatever level I can. As described above, sometimes it is just the physical. I also explore aspects of domination / submission in a nonphysical way, such as discussions with people in similar situations, reading, journaling my thoughts, etc. All the typical stuff.

(in reply to Saint)
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RE: Dual side starvation - 11/21/2005 10:28:16 AM   
jamesthehumanrug


Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline
my ....do you know how many tops i worked my way, thru?
they really MADE-ME!!
everyone ,becomes, part ,of you, i was always choosey ; i did"nt waste my time ,of course ....
,but, every dog has it's day...,too bad it's,w/ me ,now, (,since: 1999...)
dear
SAINT
greetings,
i could'nt help, but ,notice you.
i agree: you get "tired" ,but, gees lighten ,up! i ALMOST HAVE, TO feel a jam, and, a ,another roll ,of songs commin ,on (YA RITE DONT
HOLD YOUR BREATH.)
i agree:
you get tired ,but, it's like jogging;
you get tired fast, when you can't pace yourself; LIKE long-distance(LTR).
BELEIVE ME: YOU REALLY REMEMBER THEM ALL(INDIVIDUALLY),&, AT LEAST YOU GAVE YOURSELF FULLY ,"THAT NITE", FOR SURE ;CONSIDERING THE PERFORMANCE, AND ,THAT WAS "PRETTY G.D.SPECIAL."! was'nt it?!
THE "nite"(....,not infinite ,on the timeline) ,and," the person"
had ,to be "special" ,if ,w/you ,vs., another ....
,and, you feel very g.d."empty" ,when a dom leaves you ,after a longtime, vs. a shorter time.
it's like a hurricane left,!?!
and,at least you can walk away-,in-tact.
how do you replace a storm gone down like ,that?....
,and, ....NO...
.the one next, to you was helping you "practice"
,for the mythical one waiting,
...."when the nites are long, and,the days are short" ,that's the message- machine....the emptier it gets(who loves ya ,now baby b.s. ,on your back... )you gotta be hot ;chased, running,to attract attention;not sittin ,around waiting like i was ,for ,that real gold rescue
hellicopter....(,and,i expected it ; cause i earned it!)
people love a lover;
someone who WILL-BE ,so kept,and, loved.(,in demand,or ....what a lucky catch!).
....now, of course:
i don't exactly know what you mean ,by' constant-craving' ,altho-
i actually made the #1.song called: constant craving(plagiarized, by a very helpless, and,very delicate ;loved ,k.d.lang,);
it was really ,about food !
,and, a constant starving ;
constant cravin,for food,and,for ,that love-
livn in withdrawal or self denial ,or fail and die
real-slave ,TO some physical feelings you never can shake ( ,aka: a slave always ,on a diet,and love,of, that one specific person; never had...)
,but,
i DO ,understand your PRO. negation-,of the 'one-niter':esp.,w/a pro.!
you can always dream into perfection until someone says i have the same comlimentary dreams,to yours
until then think about this because i really
GOT LOST, WHEN YOU WENT ,OFF THE "DEEP-END"
SOMETHING, ABOUT YOURE A poss.- SWITCH ,AND, YOUR BEHAVIOR'S CURBED,BY NO FREEDOM ,OF EXPRESSION,W/ A SUPERFICIAL RELATIONSHIP.
WELL THAT DESCRIBES THE whole PART ,OF YOUR PERMO-REL. ,W/ YOUR "SOULMATE";
LIFE-PARTNER;
EUREKA -ARRANGEMENT,TOO!
YOU HAVE, TO WALK ON EGGSHELLS even more, MAYBE, FOR YEARS
hoping they see your best-foot ,foward all the time
EAT LIKE A BIRD
do everything and dont gross anybody out
wait ,for it ;cant go get it anywhere
NO PIGGING OUT ;ON ANYTHING
NO WIPING YOUR azzzzz ,TILL EVERYONE'S GONE;
NO I'LL KILL MYSELF PARTY KEGS cause someone took your face
no burp slips(it adds ,up)
no i can stay ,in bed ,not due anywhere,and, look ,at what a body i have.
no getting your yayas, out
no climbing ,out the bathroom window ,with leather groupies(reliable standbys) waitng ,for you ,at the bathroom-door.
no emotions ,of your own(baggage)
sound great as a matter ,of fact...
good luck ,in YOUR search





< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 11/21/2005 11:02:37 AM >


_____________________________

I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to Saint)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Dual side starvation - 4/6/2006 10:46:53 AM   
bignipples2share


Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
Yes, I'm also tired of and have given up on the one night stands over a year ago. When the time comes and I give up this quest for the 'kink' I'm looking for, I'll definately be searching for a great vanilla relationship and pass on the convient one night stand that do nothing for me.

(in reply to jamesthehumanrug)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Dual side starvation - 4/6/2006 11:24:16 AM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline
One night stands have their purpose and place in the universe, but unless one intends on never having a serious, committed relationship, regardless of flavor, they really don't amount to anything more than a temporary sating of desire and/or carnal lust.  Never understood the fixation on them, personally, but I will also admit to having a few scattered around in my past.  I generally just don't give them much thought.

(in reply to bignipples2share)
Profile   Post #: 5
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