RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!?

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/20/2008 9:11:20 PM

TreasureKY

Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: youngstownsubm

... I'm not in the service industry for the same reason that not every person who likes sex is in the prostitution industry.

lol... Good answer.

(in reply to youngstownsubm)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/20/2008 9:16:06 PM

rlivre

Posts: 2
Joined: 3/23/2008
Status: offline

Here in Seattle housecleaning pays $25-$30 an hour and good reliable housecleaners are in high demand.

Random Livre

(in reply to AAkasha)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/20/2008 9:53:22 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

I find it fascinating that dominants have so little understanding of service submissives. MANY have no desire to serve people randomly. MANY get very little satisfaction with the service they do when it's not for someone significant in that person's life. I'm a service submissive, but there's no way in the world I'd settle for a service job, working for someone who cares not one iota about why I'm doing the service. What a lousy way to earn money, when there's no actual benefit, such as a pleasant owner or someone who is appreciative of someone who does a good job with meticulous detail.

This is why service submissives actually do have a difficult time finding a dominant who understands them, yet so many dominants complain they can't find a good service submissive. Kind of makes sense if you read through this thread with an open mind.

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/20/2008 10:27:03 PM

DreamsOfSpider

Posts: 56
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline

For me, "service oriented" doesn't mean "I like to cook / clean / etc." It means that if I like a person, then I want to do things for them. That said, I tend to like people unless they give me a reason not to... so I probably would enjoy a service job, especially one with a small customer/client base. But dealing with people is draining, for me. If I had a service job, I doubt I'd have anything left for the people I actually know and care about.

Also, I like the job I have -- it fits well with other aspects of my personality.

(in reply to gypsygrl)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/20/2008 10:38:01 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

Interesting question.

My problem is, and yes, it's a problem- is that if I'm FORCED to do it, I get all pissy about it, and don't want to do it anymore. I loved waitressing for.. about a week, but once the newness wore off, I got bored with it, and short tempered with the brilliance of the customers.

If it's a volunteer type of thing though, I love it. If I'm doing something for someone because I truly care about them- it makes the chore special to me. Do I love cooking and cleaning? Not so much, but if it's for him I'll do it happily. I hate spending money, but if it means paying the vet and car bills my mother accumulated, I'll do it happily.

Volunteer jobs are another thing I adore. I don't have a fetish for painting, carpentry, or welding (Altho I like those goggles...) but I have hella fun doing it in a volunteer setting.

As far as 'get a job' I have no desire at all to go back to 7$ an hour- eep. Unfortunately, that seems to be what service type jobs go for. However, i DID go to fetishcon, and I swear the guy that had the shoe booth had a bit of a foot thing going on. ;) He was polite about it though, no unsolicited toe licking.

_____________________________

HBIC

(in reply to DreamsOfSpider)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/20/2008 11:42:59 PM

HCWT1

Posts: 161
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I find it fascinating that dominants have so little understanding of service submissives. MANY have no desire to serve people randomly. MANY get very little satisfaction with the service they do when it's not for someone significant in that person's life. I'm a service submissive, but there's no way in the world I'd settle for a service job, working for someone who cares not one iota about why I'm doing the service. What a lousy way to earn money, when there's no actual benefit, such as a pleasant owner or someone who is appreciative of someone who does a good job with meticulous detail.

This is why service submissives actually do have a difficult time finding a dominant who understands them, yet so many dominants complain they can't find a good service submissive. Kind of makes sense if you read through this thread with an open mind.

When Domms work out what thir about,get thir heads in the wright place,then they might have some idea of what we are about!!!.

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 1:00:40 AM

gobsmack

Posts: 56
Joined: 8/11/2008
From: Mars
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

What about being a shoe salesmen at a very classy shoe store if you are a foot fetishist? Why don't we hear more about this? Is it because random service, even if you DO come across attractive ladies at least some percent of the time, is just not fulfilling?

Give it a few years and I'm willing to bet that foot fetishist/shoe salesman will turn into an.... Al Bundy

(in reply to AAkasha)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 2:22:06 AM

seababy

Posts: 845
Joined: 6/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Service jobs don't pay well.

what she said

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 2:36:47 AM

silkncarol

Posts: 318
Status: offline

Treasure....you've taken my thoughts again...lol

quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

... I DO wonder why service oriented people are not doing service-industry jobs. I suspect it's part of the *cough* do-me 'tude that we run into so often.

While I won't disagree that there are "do-me" subs out there, I suspect it might be a little more complicated than that...

I don't label myself a "service sub", yet I love taking care of Firm. Every morning I bring him coffee, make him a healthy breakfast, make sure he takes his vitamins, select and iron his clothes for the day, and prepare his lunch... all before sending him off to work. During the day, I keep his home clean, keep his clothes washed, organize anything that needs to be organized, run errands, manage all the bank accounts, and struggle to learn his business so that I can help him there. By the time he comes home in the evening, I usually have dinner started and after eating, I'm typically still puttering around the house with cleaning and other tasks.
This is exactly what i think of as a service sub... doing everything to make his world a more comfortable and easier place.

I'm not perfect in what I do and there always seems to be more than I can manage, but it's a joy to me to be able to be of service to him. If I couldn't be useful to him, I would be very unfulfilled, indeed.

As much as I love this, would I want to do it for someone else... even for a good wage? Heck, no. My service orientation stems from my emotional involvement with Firm. Because of how much I care for him emotionally, I want to manifest that care physically. That doesn't translate into the working world.
Again, i agree with you..i wouldn't find the fulfillment unless there was some emotional attachment.

I can't say for sure, but I suspect that a lot of "service subs" also have this caveat. Like submissives who aren't submissive to everyone, I would guess there are service subs who don't service just anyone.
So true! I have a busy life...i value my free time....there's no way i'm interested in being a "service sub" to anyone so that i can feel submissive....

_____________________________

We attract hearts by the qualities we display. We retain them by the qualities we possess.

Shoes can change your life................. Cinderella

(in reply to TreasureKY)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 2:57:23 AM

HeidiAnn

Posts: 113
Joined: 12/16/2007
Status: offline

i have worked on service oriented jobs ever since i finished high school. i work on social sector and am focusing on elderly homecare. My education level is mid-high, so my work is both client guidance and management work nowadays, but i have managed to find a service oriented approach to this work aswell.

heidi

_____________________________

"The most difficult thing is trying not to forget who you really want to be." - Nong Toom

(in reply to gypsygrl)

Profile

Post #: 30

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 3:00:35 AM

E2Sweet

Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gobsmack
...Give it a few years and I'm willing to bet that foot fetishist/shoe salesman will turn into an.... Al Bundy

Legend has it, he scored three touchdowns in a single game!

_____________________________

E2Sweet™
"If it doesn't make you smile then chances are you're not doing it right."

(in reply to gobsmack)

Profile

Post #: 31

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 3:44:42 AM

Twicehappy2x

Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I DO wonder why service oriented people are not doing service-industry jobs. I suspect it's part of the *cough* do-me 'tude that we run into so often.

Mine would be a two part answer.

First is that being a hospice RN, a part time stripper and a part time motorcycle mechanic paid a hell of a lot better than a housekeeper's job.

Second would be that like landscaping, canning, doing assorted crafts, if i had to do it full time for a living it would be a JOB, instead of something i did for those i loved.

Now i am retired, get to do all the little things i love including turning the occasional wrench and i get to stay home.

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Profile

Post #: 32

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 7:50:14 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

Akasha, can you expand on what you mean?

Do you mean why not make your career reflect your fetish or Ds interest? (if that is the case why isn't every dom a prodom?)

Do you mean why not get a job that will help you learn more skills in those areas to give you a plus in your search? (This may be a great idea actually though you could take classes too to get the same experience and training)

Do you mean why not get a job like this to "tie you over" between partners? (for some folks that might work and I've known a few of those people but I'm guessing its more personal for most folks)

If you can explain better what you mean, you might be more detailed answers.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to AAkasha)

Profile

Post #: 33

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 8:01:56 AM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

Akasha, can you expand on what you mean?

Do you mean why not make your career reflect your fetish or Ds interest? (if that is the case why isn't every dom a prodom?)

Do you mean why not get a job that will help you learn more skills in those areas to give you a plus in your search? (This may be a great idea actually though you could take classes too to get the same experience and training)

Do you mean why not get a job like this to "tie you over" between partners? (for some folks that might work and I've known a few of those people but I'm guessing its more personal for most folks)

If you can explain better what you mean, you might be more detailed answers.

I think I mean a little of all of the above. It sounds like most of the reasons are financial for submissives. I know from the other side of the coin, I would enjoy at least a part-time job if it gave me a little femdom "rush" now and then or satisfied some part of me. Many service subs reach out aggressively to serve women and do not seem to care who/how ("age, race unimportant, and I want little/nothing in return) - so why not bring those skills to the general public? As for foot fetishists -- it seems a no brainer that at least as a college job......people say it's because not all feet are beautiful. Well, I have never met a foot fetishist who told me ahead of time that there were some criteria for my feet. Has anyone ever seen a foot fetishist go to a party, ask to rub feet, then say "oh, I changed your mind. Your toenails are not painted."?

I go to the spa regularly and the women there are at least 60% very pretty, well-kept ladies. About 25% - 30% I would say are gorgeous, even in "Spa Mode". In a more affluent market, I bet it's even higher. So a massage therapist who was good at what he did, well groomed, etc., could probably become the personal masseuse of some very lovely ladies - and, while some may come from easy money or sugar daddies, I bet a large portion of them are simply commanding and assertive business women. The vibe could possibly be lovely.

I was at Nordstrom at a high end mall this weekend looking at some boots. I looked around and saw mostly hot young ladies, for the most part, all looking at extremely expensive shoes. Imagine what it must be like at a real classy boutique where the shoes start at $500. These women must LOVE shoes! And I bet you don't see "skanky" feet as someone suggested -- this isn't Payless. I'm talking about women who visit very high end shoe stores. I would think a foot fetishist would love to spend his days catering to women who obviously take very good care of their feet - a woman willing to drop $500 on sandals would not have "skanky feet". And I bet the pay isn't bad if the guys work on commission. For a full time job, no, but a part time job - maybe!

Just a curiosity mostly. I get a sense most subs want to serve with a connection - but there certainly are many subs that blanket their requests and insist they will serve anyone. Those guys, I wonder, why not get a service job if you want to serve so bad.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Profile

Post #: 34

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 8:02:35 AM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Sorry for the sarcastic title :0

For those subs who are very into service -- love to clean, love to massage, etc. -- why not get a full time job in this area? I am surprised there are not more submissive men, for example, that are bonafide massage therapists working at nice salons. Or are there?

What about being a housekeeper? Having a small list of clients - and really doing a fine job, enjoying how pleased the ladies are?

What about being a shoe salesmen at a very classy shoe store if you are a foot fetishist? Why don't we hear more about this? Is it because random service, even if you DO come across attractive ladies at least some percent of the time, is just not fulfilling?

Akasha

I've recommended this -ever- so many times for all of the service submissives who tell me that they can't find a Master/Mistress to serve, and they feel unfulfilled and unloved. I also recommend that they put their service mentality to good use in volunteering. If you don't -need- to work... get out there and use your skills to help those who are struggling to make a life or just to survive. There is a lot of 'service' that needs to be tended to in the world... so there is no reason that people who love -being- of service should ever have to feel worthless or unused -- there are plenty of people and organizations that are whithering for want of people willing to give their service!

Calla Firestorm

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to AAkasha)

Profile

Post #: 35

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 8:06:52 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsygrl

I've worked as a paid housecleaner. I loved it. The ladies weren't pleased at all. They tended to expect miracles and had no clue how to keep their houses clean so didn't have any idea about reasonable expectations. The guys were pretty much the same. Its not the sort of job you do to ehance your self-esteem. I really enjoyed doing rental cleanouts because they were usually a mess and I prefer to clean stuff thats actually dirty. Rentals were always dirty. I did better when I worked for a cleaning service than I did when I was trying to get clients on my own. I don't have much business sense and am not good at marketing myself. When I worked for the cleaning service they used to make me crew leader for difficult clients. I was kind of like the company heavy, if you can imagine (lol) that but I was very protective of my crew and wouldn't let the clients treat them bad. (They were mostly recent immigrants)

I worked at a dunkin donuts for a long time when I was in college. I got a kick out of getting people coffee. That was when they still had counter service so it was like low end waitressing. I was good at it because I was really fast.

Teaching is very service oriented and thats what I've been doing lately. I've also had a paid position doing support for families of children with disabilities. That pretty much involved being nice to people and assisting them getting services.

I have a crappy work history when it comes to regular work and my references are all acedemic. Its really hard to get a minimum wage service type job with my education. Everybody wants to know why? And, I don't have a good answer for that. "Cause I want" to doesn't really do the trick. They worried that I'll be bored, or will want more money and stuff like that. Basically, I'm over qualified.

I think you're perfectly qualified.

And I have to agree with what so many others here have said... once it's a "job" it's no longer fun. I love to sew but if I had to do it for a living I would hate it... I know that for sure because I once did it for a living.

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to gypsygrl)

Profile

Post #: 36

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 8:07:30 AM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: E2Sweet

Often times, there is no better way to ruin something that brings you great enjoyment and satisfaction than to make it your profession.

You can quote me on that...

As someone who FINALLY is doing what she loves for a living... I have to profoundly disagree.

"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life."
-- Confucius

Calla Firestorm

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to E2Sweet)

Profile

Post #: 37

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 8:15:22 AM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsygrl

I have a crappy work history when it comes to regular work and my references are all acedemic. Its really hard to get a minimum wage service type job with my education. Everybody wants to know why? And, I don't have a good answer for that. "Cause I want" to doesn't really do the trick. They worried that I'll be bored, or will want more money and stuff like that. Basically, I'm over qualified.

This is, unfortunately, very very true. When I went back into the working world after a 2 year period of disability from my illness, I was still in service, earning my crop. My Keepers wanted me in a lower-end position -- preferably something secretarial. I'd gone back and gotten my Professional Secretary certification, but when I went to apply for jobs, my resume (full of academic credentials, published works in fiction and non-fiction, and high-end, high-tech, or educational jobs) caused a number of places to turn me away -- they were afraid that, if they hired me, I'd be looking for something better and ditch them. When I came to apply where I am now, a friend of ours looked over my resume, and started red-lining anything that couldn't be directly applied to the position I was looking at -- all of my publications, much of my experience, AND my 2 PhDs went away... and my time owning my own company was re-worded to an "office manager" position. Even at that, there was some concern that I was 'overqualified' for my initial position -- the only reason I -got- the job was because they were looking for someone that they could move quickly into a higher-level position... and they made me promise to stay at least 2 years as part of my contract.

One thing I was grateful for, though, were some 'work credits' on my CV that were volunteer positions -- those saved my butt! They weren't so academic and high-level that people were worried that I was so overqualified that I'd never be happy and wouldnt' stay.

Calla Firestorm

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to gypsygrl)

Profile

Post #: 38

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 8:19:09 AM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I find it fascinating that dominants have so little understanding of service submissives. MANY have no desire to serve people randomly. MANY get very little satisfaction with the service they do when it's not for someone significant in that person's life. I'm a service submissive, but there's no way in the world I'd settle for a service job, working for someone who cares not one iota about why I'm doing the service. What a lousy way to earn money, when there's no actual benefit, such as a pleasant owner or someone who is appreciative of someone who does a good job with meticulous detail.

This is why service submissives actually do have a difficult time finding a dominant who understands them, yet so many dominants complain they can't find a good service submissive. Kind of makes sense if you read through this thread with an open mind.

Maybe it's a matter of perspective... having lived as a service slave, despite being dominant in demeanor, I did multiple volunteer and paid gigs in service industries (including some that people might not think of, like working as a paramedic and midwife). I got a great deal of satisfaction from the internal validation of a job well done. Perhaps -that- is the difference... whether the service is an internally validating feature of the person or requires external validation to make it worthwhile.

Calla Firestorm

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Profile

Post #: 39

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 8:24:04 AM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline

quote:

This is why service submissives actually do have a difficult time finding a dominant who understands them, yet so many dominants complain they can't find a good service submissive.

There's so much truth to this. While I have done service work, my approach to it is very different from most service submissives. I understand going into that kind of job that it's mostly thankless and I'm not much into people pleasing. I like the work and try to stay focused on doing the job well regardless of the people I'm doing the job for. It takes an austere discipline and is always a challenge to maintain that discipline especially since there's few extrinsic rewards. If I weren't also a masochist, this sort of thing wouldn't work for me.

When I clean house for a dominant or do some other kind of service, I do it with a different logic in mind. If I find myself falling into the same patterns I use to get through the day on a job, I know there's not much future to the relationship.

The same activity can be very different depending on the context of meaning surrounding the activity.

edited to add:

quote:

I got a great deal of satisfaction from the internal validation of a job well done. Perhaps -that- is the difference... whether the service is an internally validating feature of the person or requires external validation to make it worthwhile.

Exactly.

< Message edited by gypsygrl -- 8/21/2008 8:26:11 AM >

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Profile

Post #: 40