RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!?

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RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 2:36:05 PM

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: youngstownsubm

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Many service subs reach out aggressively to serve women and do not seem to care who/how ("age, race unimportant, and I want little/nothing in return) - so why not bring those skills to the general public?

Firstly, "age/race unimportant" hardly means that sub doesn't care who their dominant is. It sounds rather ignorant of you to suggest that. I love submitting to younger and older women, but if they don't click with me, I certainly don't. And I don't care about race, but that doesn't mean I don't care if my domme is happy with my service.

I would say you were a troll if you didn't have over 2000 posts. I'm just going to guess you're someone who REALLY doesn't understand submissives.

I like to give my Domme foot massages because she enjoys those foot massages. And no, I don't care what her feet look like. But would I do foot massages for a living, with a Bachelor's in Computer Science? Fuck no. I like computer science too much, for one.

I enjoy playing devil's advocate. It leads to more interesting threads.
I think I know a thing or two (maybe) about submissive men and their desires. Maybe :)

Akasha

Akasha... you think??? lmao. See, to me, that's just class... great response!!

youngstownsubm.. you most likely don't get a lot of mail from male sub types but I have had my share and a LOT of them really aren't concerned very much about age, looks, race or body type... they really are in it for what they can get out of it. And to those types I would ask the same questions... why not get a job in the field that fasinates them sooooo much? Why not hire yourself out as a pro sub or something like that? I personally experienced a male sub that gave up the possibility of a long term relationship because he would have to give up the constant playing with so many others. His "pro-sub" days would have been over. So just because that doesn't fit you doesn't mean Akasha is a troll or has no idea what she is talking about.

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 3:50:19 PM

Posts: 33
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

youngstownsubm.. you most likely don't get a lot of mail from male sub types but I have had my share and a LOT of them really aren't concerned very much about age, looks, race or body type... they really are in it for what they can get out of it. And to those types I would ask the same questions... why not get a job in the field that fasinates them sooooo much?

Wow. I'm not even sure where to begin here. That was one of the dumbest things I've ever read.

EDIT: Seriously, I started typing up a response but then thought, why should I even have to say it? If you don't know what's wrong with what you just said then jesus fuck.

< Message edited by youngstownsubm -- 8/21/2008 3:53:40 PM >

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 4:38:01 PM

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: youngstownsubm

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Many service subs reach out aggressively to serve women and do not seem to care who/how ("age, race unimportant, and I want little/nothing in return) - so why not bring those skills to the general public?

Firstly, "age/race unimportant" hardly means that sub doesn't care who their dominant is. It sounds rather ignorant of you to suggest that. I love submitting to younger and older women, but if they don't click with me, I certainly don't. And I don't care about race, but that doesn't mean I don't care if my domme is happy with my service.

I would say you were a troll if you didn't have over 2000 posts. I'm just going to guess you're someone who REALLY doesn't understand submissives.

I like to give my Domme foot massages because she enjoys those foot massages. And no, I don't care what her feet look like. But would I do foot massages for a living, with a Bachelor's in Computer Science? Fuck no. I like computer science too much, for one.

I enjoy playing devil's advocate. It leads to more interesting threads.
I think I know a thing or two (maybe) about submissive men and their desires. Maybe :)

Akasha

Akasha... you think??? lmao. See, to me, that's just class... great response!!

youngstownsubm.. you most likely don't get a lot of mail from male sub types but I have had my share and a LOT of them really aren't concerned very much about age, looks, race or body type... they really are in it for what they can get out of it. And to those types I would ask the same questions... why not get a job in the field that fasinates them sooooo much? Why not hire yourself out as a pro sub or something like that? I personally experienced a male sub that gave up the possibility of a long term relationship because he would have to give up the constant playing with so many others. His "pro-sub" days would have been over. So just because that doesn't fit you doesn't mean Akasha is a troll or has no idea what she is talking about.

Jewel

And by the same token, just because someone has played with a lot of submissives doesn't make them all that knowledgeable about service submissives. I'm still seeing a lot of (I want to use the word "clueless" but I really don't mean it to be as insultive as that sounds)...misunderstandings...concerning service submissives that seem to be as guilty as male subs seem to be accused of when they're told to "read the profile before responding!"; I can't even begin to count how many service-like submissives who have actually responded in this thread in hopes of providing information, but they've mainly been ignored so the same "why don't you get a service job if you are a service submissive?" can keep being asked over and over again.

It's NOT the field of service that fascinates them, at least for the majority (I can't speak for the ocassional one that is adamant that must be it), but it's about SERVICE TO someone they desire to assist. Sure, there are a lot of wannabes that are willing to serve anyone, but I will say this again, because I've been saying this most of my submissive adult life, THEY ARE NOT SERVICE SUBMISSIVES. They claim to be service submissives because they HOPE it will cause some woman to allow them access to their inner circle.

Anyway, I give up. I don't think people really care anymore but they're more interested in hearing themselves talk. Yeah, I know. Flame me for saying it.

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 4:56:15 PM

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: youngstownsubm

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Many service subs reach out aggressively to serve women and do not seem to care who/how ("age, race unimportant, and I want little/nothing in return) - so why not bring those skills to the general public?

Firstly, "age/race unimportant" hardly means that sub doesn't care who their dominant is. It sounds rather ignorant of you to suggest that. I love submitting to younger and older women, but if they don't click with me, I certainly don't. And I don't care about race, but that doesn't mean I don't care if my domme is happy with my service.

I would say you were a troll if you didn't have over 2000 posts. I'm just going to guess you're someone who REALLY doesn't understand submissives.

I like to give my Domme foot massages because she enjoys those foot massages. And no, I don't care what her feet look like. But would I do foot massages for a living, with a Bachelor's in Computer Science? Fuck no. I like computer science too much, for one.

I enjoy playing devil's advocate. It leads to more interesting threads.
I think I know a thing or two (maybe) about submissive men and their desires. Maybe :)

Akasha

Akasha... you think??? lmao. See, to me, that's just class... great response!!

youngstownsubm.. you most likely don't get a lot of mail from male sub types but I have had my share and a LOT of them really aren't concerned very much about age, looks, race or body type... they really are in it for what they can get out of it. And to those types I would ask the same questions... why not get a job in the field that fasinates them sooooo much? Why not hire yourself out as a pro sub or something like that? I personally experienced a male sub that gave up the possibility of a long term relationship because he would have to give up the constant playing with so many others. His "pro-sub" days would have been over. So just because that doesn't fit you doesn't mean Akasha is a troll or has no idea what she is talking about.

Jewel

And by the same token, just because someone has played with a lot of submissives doesn't make them all that knowledgeable about service submissives. I'm still seeing a lot of (I want to use the word "clueless" but I really don't mean it to be as insultive as that sounds)...misunderstandings...concerning service submissives that seem to be as guilty as male subs seem to be accused of when they're told to "read the profile before responding!"; I can't even begin to count how many service-like submissives who have actually responded in this thread in hopes of providing information, but they've mainly been ignored so the same "why don't you get a service job if you are a service submissive?" can keep being asked over and over again.

It's NOT the field of service that fascinates them, at least for the majority (I can't speak for the ocassional one that is adamant that must be it), but it's about SERVICE TO someone they desire to assist. Sure, there are a lot of wannabes that are willing to serve anyone, but I will say this again, because I've been saying this most of my submissive adult life, THEY ARE NOT SERVICE SUBMISSIVES. They claim to be service submissives because they HOPE it will cause some woman to allow them access to their inner circle.

Anyway, I give up. I don't think people really care anymore but they're more interested in hearing themselves talk. Yeah, I know. Flame me for saying it.

Apparently you aren't the only one seeing "misunderstandings" here. I haven't played with lots and lots of submissives and can absolutely understand that there is a large number of service submissives that are there because serving that special person is hugely important to them and without that connection it just doesn't work for them and those are the ones posting, those are the ones sharing their thoughts with us, they are not the ones I am talking about. Again... there are also LOTS of them out there that really couldn't give a crap who they serve in their particular fetish so long as they get to do it. That's the be all and end all for them. I've even had some contact me and insist on "serving" me in a capacity that I have absolutely NO interest in whatsoever... to those types I say get that job, get paid for doing what you so much enjoy doing and stop pushing it on to people that don't like it! Hopefully I was more clear this time.

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 5:03:45 PM

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

As I said towards the end of my last post, I think those people you're talking about are the fake service submissives I was talking about. They aren't really interested in service; they're interested in hooking up with a dominant woman and realize that there's somewhat of an "in" if they claim to be service submissives. And then they get all pissy when they're actually told to do some type of...well...service.

At least that's my belief, because when I was advertising as a service submissive, which I am, I would receive all sorts of immediate condemnations from women I've never conversed with that because some other guy (or gal) pretended to be a service submissive, I must be pretending, too. It got to the point where I just removed it from my profile and might mention it if a conversation actually ever got to "so, what interests you as a submissive?"

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 6:17:58 PM

Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: youngstownsubm

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

youngstownsubm.. you most likely don't get a lot of mail from male sub types but I have had my share and a LOT of them really aren't concerned very much about age, looks, race or body type... they really are in it for what they can get out of it. And to those types I would ask the same questions... why not get a job in the field that fascinates them sooooo much?

Wow. I'm not even sure where to begin here. That was one of the dumbest things I've ever read.

EDIT: Seriously, I started typing up a response but then thought, why should I even have to say it? If you don't know what's wrong with what you just said then Jesus fuck.

You know, to start with, i am a pagan not a Christian but the Jesus fuck comment, perhaps you need to go read this line from your own profile;

"Maybe making new sub members read a page on etiquette"

Use fuck all you want but show respect for others folks religious figures.

Next, exactly what is wrong with her statement?

In your journal you talk about all the annoying useless mail that seems to irritate a lot of Dommes on cm.

Exactly WHY do you think that is, hmmm?

There are tons, literally tons of male subs out there who as Sarbonn and Jewel have both pointed out, use the term service submissive as a way to get their foot in the door. Hoping to indulge their kink, whatever it may be.

Sure, there are service submissives out there looking just to do that, provide service. Or service plus the other goodies as well.

I can tell you from screening hundreds of them while looking for one to fit into this household that there really are a lot of them claiming to be service subbies as a way in. Yet once you get them talking, all they really want is their kink taken care of. Worse yet, a lot of them use that just to attempt to get online kink play going.

Perhaps you are unaware of this as you are not a female, or a Domme.

< Message edited by Twicehappy2x -- 8/21/2008 6:18:30 PM >

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to youngstownsubm)

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 7:07:09 PM

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I find it fascinating that dominants have so little understanding of service submissives. MANY have no desire to serve people randomly. MANY get very little satisfaction with the service they do when it's not for someone significant in that person's life. I'm a service submissive, but there's no way in the world I'd settle for a service job, working for someone who cares not one iota about why I'm doing the service. What a lousy way to earn money, when there's no actual benefit, such as a pleasant owner or someone who is appreciative of someone who does a good job with meticulous detail.

This is why service submissives actually do have a difficult time finding a dominant who understands them, yet so many dominants complain they can't find a good service submissive. Kind of makes sense if you read through this thread with an open mind.

Its always tricky when someone without your orientation tries to tell you what to do with it.

The question has always been, can a service sub establish a personal connection to a DOM? In other words does service inspire love and romance? Does it inspire lust? If not, it seems the service might be leading down the road to nowhere -- a sub who feels unloved or a Dom who feels unmoved.

Are the clean floors, completed errands, and dusted furniture worth it?

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 8/21/2008 7:08:30 PM >

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 7:10:05 PM

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

I'm an odd duck. I see service as a lot more expansive than housework and sex.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 7:31:26 PM

Secretslave1138

Posts: 48
Joined: 3/18/2008
Status: offline

Altough i am not male...

i only want to be of service to my Master. There is nothing more pleasing than you Master swatting you on the ass, as a sign of affection, because you cooked him a great meal. No money can mount to that moment.

Plus...i am close to completing my Master's degree, so i did not go to college this long to be a slave to the service industry. They cannot pay my student loans...lol.

(in reply to gypsygrl)

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 7:35:57 PM

Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline

quote:

I see service as a lot more expansive than housework and sex.

I've talked to too many guys who don't even include housework under the banner of service.

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin

(in reply to Leatherist)

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 7:36:09 PM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

I'm an odd duck. I see service as a lot more expansive than housework and sex.

You and me, both, Duckie.

CFB

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to Leatherist)

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 8:03:34 PM

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

I'm an odd duck. I see service as a lot more expansive than housework and sex.

You and me, both, Duckie.

CFB

Count me as three. I have always said I look for service subs rather than sensation subs. My differentiation between the two is that the former gets off on doing whatever service I need or desire because he wants to see *me* happy, as opposed to the latter who wants to do *his* preferred method of service.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 8:05:47 PM

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Misstoyou

quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

I'm an odd duck. I see service as a lot more expansive than housework and sex.

You and me, both, Duckie.

CFB

Count me as three. I have always said I look for service subs rather than sensation subs. My differentiation between the two is that the former gets off on doing whatever service I need or desire because he wants to see *me* happy, as opposed to the latter who wants to do *his* preferred method of service.

I have some pretty big business projects in mind for the future. I can hire a maid to clean house-I'd prefer a good sub to help with planning and administration. I'm better at design and production.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to Misstoyou)

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 8:08:42 PM

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Misstoyou

Count me as three. I have always said I look for service subs rather than sensation subs. My differentiation between the two is that the former gets off on doing whatever service I need or desire because he wants to see *me* happy, as opposed to the latter who wants to do *his* preferred method of service.

Haha- I had this conversation with a service sub the other day-

Sub: "I'm a service sub, you wouldn't have to do a thing for me, I'm perfect"
Me: "Service... what kind of service"
Sub: "I want to service and worship your ass!!"
Me: "@$^& yourself"
Sub: "But no! I'm a SERVICE SUB, you have to let me do this, it's what I need!!"

_____________________________

HBIC

(in reply to Misstoyou)

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/21/2008 10:57:24 PM

Posts: 2
Joined: 7/20/2007
Status: offline

i'm service oriented, and enjoy pleasing the One i'm with, taking care of His every need, personal as well as the house. and i gain my pleaure from knowing He's well taken care of.

at this point in time, i'm cleaning houses to earn money while i'm job hunting. i've been asked if i wouldnt just do that as my job. my reply? i don't particularly like cleaning...i just happen to be very good at it LOL

no, doesnt pay great...but it's nice to know my 'natural tendancies' can pay a bill when it's needed
~cookie

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/22/2008 3:42:07 AM

Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsygrl

quote:

I see service as a lot more expansive than housework and sex.

I've talked to too many guys who don't even include housework under the banner of service.

LMAO......or yard work, or mechanical work, or secretarial work, or laundry, or shopping, or remodeling/home maintenance work, or chaufering...............

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to gypsygrl)

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/22/2008 1:38:12 PM

Posts: 33
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x

Next, exactly what is wrong with her statement?

She seems to think that "age/race/body type not important" is the same thing as "it doesn't matter who my Domme is." If you don't see how that's a ridiculous statement I can't really help you...

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/22/2008 1:40:42 PM

Posts: 33
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

I have some pretty big business projects in mind for the future. I can hire a maid to clean house-I'd prefer a good sub to help with planning and administration. I'm better at design and production.

I'm not sure what exactly you have in mind, but I don't think subs can just be used as free labor for your company. When you start profitting from subs' "service" I think it leaves the realm of BDSM and enters the realm of exploitation.

< Message edited by youngstownsubm -- 8/22/2008 1:41:30 PM >

(in reply to Leatherist)

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/22/2008 2:34:09 PM

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

Ah, I get it now youngstown... reading comprehension isn't your forte'. What I said was that I get a lot of mail from male subs that state (in their words, not mine) that age, race, gender and body type don't really matter to them, what matters is that they find an outlet to fulfill their fetish fantasies. At no point did I say that "age/race/body type not important" is the same thing as "it doesn't matter who my Domme is." or that I see it that way... What I said is that I've talked to quite a few males that feel that way.

And what Leatherist said is that he doesn't see service as just someone that can cook and clean... he wants someone that can work with him and beside him, be more of a partner in life then an employee.

Really, I would suggest that you read over other peoples posts more then once to make sure you have it all before slamming them around.... just a thought.

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to youngstownsubm)

RE: Service subs: get a JOB why don't you!? - 8/22/2008 2:46:56 PM

TermsConditions

Posts: 446
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline

I don't get off serving everybody or anybody. That would make me a service SLUT. My service is for the one who requires it. I also like being polite and helpful to other women in order to reflect well upon Her (and I hope to make others jelus of Her and to make Her proud of me.)

That being said, the oppy is to engage in an endevour that provides experience and technical knowledge to pass on to that one. Example, for a few months after I get a professional Sweedish massage, I can provide a pretty good faximile of a Sweedish massage, then it starts to fade and I need another reminder. If I were trained up and providing such as a vocation I would stay proficient.

In reality, I'd have to quit my day job and we can't afford that. Though I've told Her that I would support Her professional growth at the cost of my own. I have considered formal training. But for now it's more cost effective and pleasurable to get an occasional massage.

_____________________________

TnC
Married, Novice Subbish-Type Person
and rider of the Drama Llama.

(in reply to AAkasha)

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