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RE: Does age matter? - 11/23/2005 8:13:05 PM

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When I started.... I was very young. By the time I hit the age of 20 I had more experience than I'll now admit to due to age laws at the time. I was also fairly confident in myself and never understood the ageism problem I was seeing.
I'm now almost 30 and looking back... I didn't know as much as I thought I did. I was not as mature as I thought I was. Life experience is something you only get by living.. and aging. While there *are* some very very mature 20 year olds out there they still don't have the life experience that an older man or woman does and nothing changes that. As we age we tend to look back at ourselves and think "oh gods, was that really me?" and so we look at others in that age and think the same thing. I suppose it's just part of being human.

-nena{R}

(in reply to Wolf1020)

RE: Does age matter? - 11/23/2005 8:49:49 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: nenakajira
they still don't have the life experience that an older man or woman does and nothing changes that.

-nena{R}

Sorry, you are seriously incorrect there.

I know a hell of a lot of people who rarely even leave the city they were born in. This is stateside, europe and australia by the way. Sure, have your experiences in normal day to day life. Does that count as LIFE experience though? Not in my book, thats just experience in doing the same crap over and over.

Personally, I have seen the world. Done a hell of a lot more than most 50-60yr olds have. Owned more houses than most, loved more, lost more, and Ive been doing it since I was 15. On money earned by myself I might add.

I tire of seeing threads like this. Maturity is more important than age, and there are MANY immature 30+ and with the world today more and more youth are growing up and maturing at an early age and bypassing those older in age.

Welcome to the new brave world people. Innocence is dying.

(in reply to nenakajira)

RE: Does age matter? - 11/24/2005 1:13:02 AM

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Wolf 1020, perhaps the question is how to take and transform a bias that can be limiting to you in your choice of partners. A practical approach would be to acknowledge that yes, you are young and new to the Lifestyle, but that you are reading, studying, meeting people at events and always open to learning. One of the common failings when a person is new to a culture is the inability to simply admit, "I don't know, but I will look into it and find out more".

Age to me serves as a general guideline for choosing partners. As I am fond of live music my prospective partners need to be at least 21 years old so we can go into club and listen to the bands. And yes, maturity is much more a matter of attitude and outlook than simply chronological numbers.

_____________________________

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So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

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(in reply to Wolf1020)

RE: Does age matter? - 11/24/2005 3:04:19 AM

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chronologically, im 41, slap my face, and im about 4, push me into a primal subspace, and im not even human, let alone emotionally mature.

id not shag anything younger or reminiscent of my own children, or father.

Id not waist my time talking to someone who was emotionally immature.

Age = jack shit, but then im biased arent i lol

(in reply to Vendaval)

RE: Does age matter? - 11/24/2005 10:13:01 AM

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I think LA hit it on the head. There are always going to be people who are prejudice about age... all you can do is be the best you can. Show by example your maturity.

I don't care how long anyone has been a practicing sub/dom there is always something to learn, its how we approach that learning that shows our maturity.

I'd rather be with an 18 year old who says "I know little, but I'm willing to learn" than a 48 year old who thinks they know everything.

Good luck with your endeavours, and my respect for your attitude

Best

Rogue

(in reply to pandoravampire)

RE: Does age matter? - 11/24/2005 9:01:32 PM

jamesthehumanrug

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greetings wolf
10 20
greetings happy thanksgiving
its who you feel comfortable with...
if its an esteem issue
older or younger feel best at their own age
i knew it all at 18 as far as what i wanted in bed
sometimes the first s/m crush is an older person
so like me
i always look at older as sexy first
but that dont mean someone 20 with the attitude and need for me isnt out there
somewhere

but theres no cure for the generation gap,either according ,to science;
read: my mother myself
she thot she was company to her mom
but she really wasnt
and didnt realize it ,till long, after she died,
if i found a young person; its for show ,or cause we are fixed up ,or it would be rare ,or luckymatch.
the usual young ,or old ,jo shmoe,; isnt mingling ,unless it's ,to expolit, in this game.
even ,in regular; every day life ;you see the stronger take advantage ,or hang, around the vulnerable ,so; go figure; people are suspicious; jelous, and, igno. sometimes ,and, perpetuate age-ism bias,in favor ,of themselves.

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I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to Wolf1020)

RE: Does age matter? - 11/24/2005 9:57:41 PM

Vancouver_cinful

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Does age matter when it comes to delivering a straight-up spanking? Probably not. I'm sure a 20 year old can deliver a fine spanking if they have the desire to do so...

Does age matter when it comes to someone playing with my emotional states, acting as a guiding light, and holding authority in my life...Absolutely.

I don't consider this an age prejudice at all. I'm looking for more than just a hand to beat me, I am looking for a soul to lead me...and no 20 year old can do that. Not for me anyway.

That being said, I think it's wonderful that people have access to the information/opportunities at a young age, something I didn't have.

Age doesn't equal maturity, no arguing that...but maturity does takes time and experience to develop, and I'm sceptical that anyone under 40 could possibly have enough wisdom, knowledge, and experience to take the reins in my life.

I do hope that you find all the play partners you'd like, but please understand that you are not what every sub needs. No dominant is. Just as no sub is what every dominant needs. Compatibility is what counts.

Cin

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(in reply to Wolf1020)

RE: Does age matter? - 11/24/2005 10:12:31 PM

ToServeIsToLive

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Does age matter? I would put forward that yes it does. However, I think the more important question is can one determine anything useful about another peron by knowing only their age? That's where I think it is important to think. Aging definitly has an effect on people, but it's best looked at with more information.

(in reply to Vancouver_cinful)

RE: Does age matter? - 11/25/2005 2:09:04 AM

FelinePersuasion

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As long as they are over 21 and able to be legally going to the bdsm places and stuff with me, and they're a good person age matters very little to me untill it gets to be an outragous diffrence like me 23 and them 50, and then they're still wonderfull friends at any age but they won't be romantic prospects

< Message edited by FelinePersuasion -- 11/25/2005 2:11:08 AM >

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RE: Does age matter? - 11/25/2005 4:59:30 PM

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quote:

I suffer the most abuse from those new and over 30. Still, I guess when I'm 35, fat and balding those young 18 yr old subbies arent going to find me attractive either, so will do my best to keep those with experience and youth on thier side out of the picture.

darkslife

i am truely sorry You have been disrespected; we owe one another basic respect (unless we act like an ass) and so often, we fall short. It's odd; in the vanilla world i'd be disqualified by men as too old (52) but here in BDSM it doesn't seem to matter. i think Your picture of 35 is a bit out-of-whack though; there's no need for You to be balding or fat at 35 if You take care of Yourself and avail Yourself of modern medicine.

candystripper

(in reply to darkslife)

RE: Does age matter? - 11/25/2005 5:44:50 PM

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I admit my last comment was a tad scathing, but last night was a prime example of what normally occurs.

I took a female friend (ex of mine) who is fairly attractive. Within 5 mins of arriving, old doms were chatting her up, asking her to play and so forth. She said no.

They assumed that it was because of me, and one commented "if you ever want to be in the hands of a real dom".

Gah.

God knows why I bother anymore.

< Message edited by darkslife -- 11/25/2005 5:47:08 PM >

(in reply to candystripper)

RE: Does age matter? - 11/25/2005 5:51:40 PM

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Edited:

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
there's no need for You to be balding or fat at 35 if You take care of Yourself and avail Yourself of modern medicine.
candystripper

does that mean the hair club for men actually works?

as an aside, i had a friend start to lose his hair in high school, so it can happen at any age. go figure.

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maireann croí éadrom i bhfad. is maith an scáthán súil charad. is leor nod don eolach.
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RE: Does age matter? - 11/25/2005 6:05:44 PM

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Wolfe.

Hell yes it matter, both in a principal dondition as well as a mental condition.
Yes there can and are arguement on both sides, some very good in fact, but for me, it matters, not on the high end, but certainly on the low end.

I will not consider a submissive less then 30, tho I will mentor anyone above 18.

CP

(in reply to Wolf1020)

RE: Does age matter? - 11/25/2005 6:14:39 PM

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CP-
I understand what you mean. But I wasn't asking in terms of for personal relationship I was speaking in terms of general lifestyle. Being 20 (though happened more when I was 18) I have been looked down on by older people in the lifestyle, and know other young people in the lifestyle who have been as well. And was after more lifestyle opinion then personal relationship since it is obvious we all have preferences.

(in reply to CelticPrince)

RE: Does age matter? - 11/25/2005 11:13:33 PM

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i really think it does matter our minds grow and different paces and different ages. colutrual differences. our priorties change our views change yes it does matter its just apart of life finding balance in things wither it be relationships bdsm wise or in our selves we experince things at all points of our life that people at other ages can not relate to. value structure resposiblity yep yep
we are talking percentages i am so tired of hearing well i know this one couple that it worked yadda yadda yadda. yeah i also know one person out of a million that one the lottery its your choice wanna be happy or want to be searching for happiness. all a point of view but there are some things to road of enlighted ment that comes with age :)

(in reply to Wolf1020)

RE: Does age matter? - 11/27/2005 9:54:41 AM

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You know, on further reflection, and after having had some recent interactions with younger Doms, I will say that there have been times, whether I was right or wrong, when rather than say something like "Im sorry, Im not interested in you because you insist on greeting me with sexual innuendo upon first meeting, repeatedly saying things like: want me to 'cum' over there and do this or that to you..., not understanding references I make using patterns of speech that are antiquated but nonetheless quaint and somewhat sexy in a very odd and subtle and (maybe its just me and thats why they dont get it...) way, not having a clue about the pop culture of my youth and associated kitsch, and perseverating on specific acts of kink they find appealing which leads me to believe they have nothing else of interest going on up there in that cranial cavity", I have ON RARE OCCASIONS, in the interest of being polite and not hurting someone's feelings, said "Im sorry, I think you are a little too young for me."
Not to say that this is why you are getting this response, Im just saying, situations like this may cloud the actual data.

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I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

RE: Does age matter? - 11/27/2005 11:13:53 AM

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quote:

Now, the question arises as to whether or not I only notice and attract these people today because of who I am spiritually and intellectually (a late bloomer, perhaps?) and they were there all along, even when I was in my college years or whether this indigo generation really are a different sort of person, mature, intelligent, focused, spiritually aware and on a higher path....one may never know - BUT (and here is my point) it nonetheless is evidence that young people ARE capable of living their lives fully and at a deep and genuine level, the existence of which perhaps many of the older generation are not even aware. This may account for the inability of said older adults to acknowledge that there is a valid place for people of your age in....well, in the world?

I think it is simply a matter of there being a small proportion of younger folks who have their acts together enough so that older folks will take them seriously. That you didn't notice them when you were their age or that others aren't even aware that they exist now implies there aren't many or else they would be noticed, because there is no reason to believe that some magic wand was waved over this geneeration of young adults to bless them with greater levels of maturity than generations before them.

There's also no reason to think the ones who have their acts together won't grow into something else. I'm amused to think that in 15 years they may consider themselves to be late bloomers too -- just as many of the hippies from the '60s are now living conventional lives these younger folks who now seem "intelligent, focused, spiritually aware and on a higher path" may look back on their youth as a "phase" they went through before finding their true calling working for the republican national committee, as a tobacco company executive or something like that.

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RE: Does age matter? - 11/27/2005 11:32:06 AM

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quote:

Being 20 (though happened more when I was 18) I have been looked down on by older people in the lifestyle, and know other young people in the lifestyle who have been as well.

Maybe it's really about perception. You are looking at older people and feeling as though they are looking down on you. I am sure that is exactly how it feels as I too once felt that. In reality those same older folks may be viewing you through eyes that have been exactly where you are at....with an understanding of what that is like that is greater than the level of understanding that is possible for you to have by the mere limits of time.

At every age of my life I felt I was more mature than my years....and each day now I look back at those times and realize that I have come such a long way, much farther than I could even comprehend in those young years. This is not something that a person who is older can possibly ever make you understand....it is something that merely comes with time. I am sure the process will continue and at 60 or 70 I will look back upon this time and realize how far I had yet to go.

I have met many very mature 20 somethings....and my life has been enriched greatly for knowing them. I have not however, ever met a 20 something whose levels of life understanding compare with people of my own age....just as my levels of life understanding can not possibly compare with those of folks who are 20 years my senior.

No disrespect...no looking down upon...just at different points on the path is all.

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 11/27/2005 11:35:16 AM >

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~erin~

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When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Wolf1020)

RE: Does age matter? - 11/27/2005 11:39:28 AM

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Well, I hadnt exactly pictured a magic wand so much as I was considering the cultural differences between the world of my childhood and the world today....we are progressing, toward what im not certain, at speeds which seem to increase exponentially, children are losing their innocence at a much younger age and spiritual concepts once cloistered by time and geographic distance are served as a matter of course with the latest popular culture (albeit in most cases a watered-down version most often than not) or are readily available for digestion online. The rapid exchange of information, the circumstances noted above and the moving from the end of the Piscean Age into the Aquarian Age (yeah im into that so sue me) present a particularly ripe set of circumstances for our species to evolve spiritually beyond anything we've ever imagined.
(Editorial note: please at least take the time to read two sentences about the Piscean vs Aquarian Ages before posting something less than complimentary in response....but feel free to roll your eyes and make the sounds of the theme from the Twilight Zone while tracing imaginary circles around your ear, just so long as I cant see and hear you.)

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to happypervert)

RE: Does age matter? - 11/27/2005 12:32:34 PM

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I think that it most come as quite a shock to the youth of a generally youth obsessed age to encounter a situation where youth is a handicap, but so it is in BDSM.

(in reply to justheather)

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