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RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 8/31/2008 9:01:38 PM   
Pyrrsefanie


Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Do you ever make your submissives get their hair cut a certain way, styled a certain way?  Add or remove facial hair?  Wear certain clothing?  Do you feel that if they are your property, you should have the option of changing things like hairstyle or facial hair?



When it comes to clothing or anything else, my boy only recognizes the eight basic colors that come in the Crayola box.  Anything else is described as varying degrees of "-ish" and then a color it's a similar to, i.e. pink to my boy is "light-ish red."  He does not understand complimentary colors.  He does not know that you can't mix horizontal and vertical stripes in clothing.  For this reason his wardrobe consists of two pairs of jeans and a drawer full of ratty T-shirts, most of which are leftover from his time at the USMA.

Now I understand that men's fashion really doesn't offer as many choices as women's fashion does, so I can't fault him terribly (and to his credit at least one of the two pairs of jeans make his ass look AMAZING), but if I were not around to push him back into the bedroom and say "Hell no, you are NOT wearing that in public" I shudder to think of the consequences.  To him, any shirt with fewer than three holes is wearable.  He tucks his T-shirts into athletic shorts.

And I did make him shave off his facial hair, but mostly because his goatee/mustache were really bristly and kept poking me in horribly painful non-sexy ways whenever he went down on me. 

Then again, it's a two-way street for me.  I rely on him to be my sensor for if something I'm wearing is just too outrageous for him to be comfortable with (although he's extremely biased due to his hatred of skulls and the simple fact that 75% of my wardrobe contains skulls and/or bats), or if I look completely flabby in it, since I'm my own worst critic and will undoubtedly start bawling in front of the mirror regardless of what I'm wearing or how much I weigh because to myself I look obese.  I also go to him for advice on how I should do my hair, or ask him how my makeup looks, et cetera, et cetera.  But I'd do these things even in a vanilla relationship -- it's not based specifically on the fact that at the end of the day, I get to smack him around.

Now I can't help but wonder if I'm really as neurotic as I sound in my posts, yeesh.




_____________________________

Ти саркастична, це – доля,
Ти артистична в неволі,
Ти симпатична в цій ролі,
Ти синтетична до болю

Read my series, Taking Jessica, on http://www.akashaweb.com !

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 8/31/2008 9:09:56 PM   
TermsConditions


Posts: 446
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline 		It is exciting to think that someone would want to pocess me so completely as to change my appearence. Maybe just as a head game or to prove to someone else how completely She "owned me" Late high school, early college I had a tast of such a relationship. I freaked out an ran finally but before that She was dressing me in very young clothing and though wearing the clothing did not excite me, her excitement did. It was very confusing that her family and our friends would make comments about my clothing. She never seemed to be around at those times and just left me haning in the wind. But later she would stick her tounge in my ear and tell me how much she liked how I was dressed and I would continue to match the animals on the shirts and pants so that I was always wearing a compatible ensemble. lol

_____________________________

TnC
Married, Novice Subbish-Type Person
and rider of the Drama Llama.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 8/31/2008 9:55:23 PM   
Hime


Posts: 149
Joined: 10/31/2006
From: Vegas
Status: offline 		I do believe that I have the right to suggest or make changes to my subs appearance; not because I own him -- I do it because I care.  I care about his health, self image, his confidence, and how he is perceived by others.  I do my best to stay onto him about his eating habits, supplements, and weight training routine.  It not only helps him - it helps me stay accountable for my own actions (and image) as well.


~xoxo     

_____________________________

"The most effective leader is the one who satisfies the psychological needs of his followers" --David Ogilvy

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 9/1/2008 3:03:43 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		I love long hair on men and loathe the bald or shaved look ... so a ritual shaving of the head just isn't going to be a goer here! Brainflash ... if I had a longhaired male sub, and i stuffed up so badly with Master that He wanted to punish me (doesn't happen in our dynamic, His severe displeasure's enough to make me be good! but anyway, for the eg ...) it just dawned on me that He could punish me by shaving the head of My sub! That would be a real bitch LOL!

OK back to the thread ... there would be some things I might change depending on how the sub already looked and dressed, some dress codes to adhere to. In terms of personal grooming, I would be wanting them to look their best so I would make requests and expect them to at least give it a try and see how they feel about the changes. If they are a guy with very short hair I would ask him to grow it out a bit so I've enough to grab! Probably generally a bigger deal with a fem sub than a male. I expect a girl to look like a girl (ie any length skirt, hair attractively styled, facial hair dealt with etc, you don't have to be frilly and lacy!). However, it also has to be tailored to what suits them, for eg, I do like moustaches and beards on men, but some guys just don't look good with those or can't grow a decent one! In which case the rule would be stay shaved and shave regularly so you don't have a 5pm shadow!

Master insists on skirt and no panties for me (which i don't mind as i prefer skirts to pants any day), unless i request to wear pants for a particular occasion/weather. He doesn't care which skirt ... or which top with it ... though He reserves the right to say "I don't like that combination pet, can you try something else?" i think that happened once LOL! However, if i can't decide between 3 outfits for an occasion, He will happily see me model them in turn and then make a decision for me. i love it! However, He has threatened murder and mayhem if He ever finds me sitting in my extensive wardrobe sobbing "i haven't a thing to wear!" He counted my tops one day and gave up once He got past 150 ...

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to Hime)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 9/1/2008 3:27:11 AM   
iwearpanties


Posts: 509
Joined: 7/21/2005
Status: offline 		as a sub male ive had to do some changes a new hair style and not sure if other male subs or if other Mistress have done this but she had start wearing panties and in time other females things in time she told it would remind me of my submisson to her as well as my place as a sub among other. im not sure if she had other male subs  she did this to . but i know she had a females sub that was very girly and fem she had her wearing male cotton briefs and other male clothes too change her form a very fem girly the fme sub was very shamed or humiliate about it i thoguth she was sexy looking but she the sub girl saw it difrently i guesss

(in reply to MaamJay)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 9/1/2008 3:32:31 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		no one has ever wanted to change my appearance the only thing close was when i got a tattoo i wasnt allowed to have it on my left ankle it had to be the right which was fine, ive been told what to wear for meetings but always pretty vague but if anyone told me to loose weight or anything like that i think it would be a clear indication we werent suited for each other

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to iwearpanties)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 9/1/2008 8:25:18 AM   
shivermetimbers


Posts: 2060
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline 		I wouldn't mind suggestions for some changes, but IMO the way one looks was part of the overall package of what attracted two people in the first place. Requests or demands for drastic changes in clothing and hair styles would seem odd.  A simple "trying something a little different", wouldn't be.  For example, I prefer my hair short and buzzed. Asking to have it grow out long enough to need a comb is trying some a little different. Growing a pony tail is drastic.

_____________________________

I love you Deanna, you make every day a better day.

If we descended from monkeys and apes, why are there still monkeys and apes?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ3CJi0Ih9s&feature=player_embedded

http://www.thebuccozone.com/piratesong.htm

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 9/1/2008 9:05:39 AM   
lilsubrt


Posts: 41
Joined: 5/17/2008
Status: offline 		Hello Akasha,

    Yes Ma'am, my Owner went through the entire wardrobe and little one had to donate a bunch of clothes to the Salvation Army. She doesn't pick his clothes out on a day, minute by minute basis, but She made sure everything She didn't like was gone. See Ya' to all the powder blue shirts whcih he had, ( he is a UCLA fan ), but it was not a problem in any way, as it has been stated in the thread, She is the one who has to be seen with him in public. 

     The one major part of his clothing that changed was that, he is Only permitted to place Pretty Panties over Her cock. It Serves as a daily reminder of his Devotion to Her and to make sure he Never uses it for himself.  Note: Shortly after She took him he did that and that was a mistake he Only Made Once. She made him masturbate 5 times one after another, with Her mocking him in a Much less that pleasurable way. Needless to say, physically it was raw and sore , mentally he felt like he had stolen something from Her, which in effect he had, NEVER AGAIN !

    She also had Her Property change his hair quite a bit, he has to have it colored in a salon with lighter blonde streaks than his natrual color, and keep it in the " just out of bed " look, to accentuate the curls. She also has him shave the area around Her cock and balls so they are Nice, Clean, Smooth, and Soft for Her.The advantage for him is that during a normal day when there was hair around he would itch, now tht the hair is gone so is that problem. Sweeeeeeeeeeeet !!!! 

     Once again it has been stated here but, Miss Robi feels She not only has the Right but the Obligation to have made these changes so She could mark Her Property and improve it's appearance.

     Thank You for Your Time and Consideration, 

    lilsubrt.

Respect and Admiration to All Women, Total Submission to Ones Owner !

(in reply to DominaSusan)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 9/1/2008 11:28:13 AM   
pinnipedster


Posts: 217
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline 		I would say this is one of those things that is subject to negotiation for each individual situation.   I certainly think that things like choosing the sub's clothing or how he or she is going to wear their hair on a specific occasion is one thing, whereas more lasting changes (non-temporary hair colors or cutting/shaving it, actually disposing of clothing in the closet and requiring approval for future acquisitions, etc.) would be more serious.  And things that are effectively permanent, such as tattoos, branding, or cosmetic surgery would require a very strong commitment.

I myself would find it pretty exciting to have such things dictated to me, but there would be limits depending on the level of commitment in the relationship.  In a committed, "owned" situation, then I can imagine allowing her authority over me almost completely in this respect -- but, with authority comes responsibility: if she had me make changes that, for instance, affected my employment or employability status, she would need to be prepared to deal with the consequences.  (As a crossdresser, with some interest in enforced feminimity scenarios, this is certainly a big concern, but it could apply even aside from that.)

(in reply to lilsubrt)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 9/1/2008 1:42:49 PM   
malloves69


Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline 		my mistress likes my head shaved nice and smooth for her to rub while im inbetween her sexy legs servicing her orally  one day almost 2 years ago she tied me up and shaved the little head area too and told me thats how she wanted to see that from now on ..so yes both heads are shaved nice and smooth for her  and yes she is shaved smooth too love her touch after i shave ..something about her smooth hands and fingers and my smooth hairless balls feel much more erotic we both think  she still likes  my chest hair so she can play with it during snuggle time  i think having a ladys input in your appearence is a good thing and who am i to say no to her wants and wishes ? have fun ..mal  loved shaving her legs and pussy too ..i think i do a pretty good job doing it when my lady needs some pampering

(in reply to pinnipedster)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 9/1/2008 3:30:07 PM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		Oh, definitely. Several of my Dommes over the years have told me, how they wanted me to dress (I usually am a jeans and t-shirt dude) like in a suit jacket, dark button down shirt, and dress pants for one, in leather shorts and X harness for another. My hair is something I don't have much left of, but I've had it anywhere from shoulder length to cueball, depending on their preference. They would choose the cologne, and one even had me on a diet during the time we were together.

Unless there's a mirror in the room, I really have no idea what I look like. Frankly, unless I'm trying to make a good impression during a formal occasion, I really don't care. But I much prefer to be dressed, cut, and groomed to my dominant's liking, rather than just dressing for my own comfort.

The ritural of grooming, and of making this effort for their pleasure, just reinforces the connection, and keep s me thinking about them throughout the day.

(in reply to malloves69)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 9/1/2008 5:37:20 PM   
bobipanti


Posts: 87
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline 		I believe that a Domme has the choice and responsibility to change a subs appearance and the way he dresses. The sub is present to please the Domme and make Her happy in thought and appearance. Any major appearance change would be discussed to show the sub why it is needed and how both parties will benefit. A subs appearance is a reflection of the Domme.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 9/1/2008 6:22:34 PM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		I would never seek to change anyone in a way that is not comfortable for them or alter their personal sense of style. I would only seek to enhance what is already there and help him find a sense of style if he did not already have one. I don't think it's a right that always comes with the territory. I think that is another item of negotiation like any other limit. A lot of men are pretty clueless when it comes to clothes, hair etc.. and welcome the input. 

(in reply to DominaSusan)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 9/1/2008 6:30:30 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout
A lot of men are pretty clueless when it comes to clothes, hair etc.. and welcome the input. 


A lot of women are just as clueless.  *winks*


_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 9/1/2008 7:29:17 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline 		I've gone in with my puppy to his stylist when he gets his hair cut. He found it interesting that from the very first, she only asks *me* about how she is to cut *his* hair, and for approval both during the cut, and after its completion.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 9/1/2008 8:48:54 PM   
cravesdom


Posts: 5219
Joined: 3/28/2008
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I have had absolutely no problem in the past with being asked to wear a certain outfit or to not wear panties under my dress or something of that sort, but I think if a person wanted to change me drastically it would make me feel that they were not really interested in me in the first place. Just in the potential of what they could make of me. And while that is not necessarily bad, I know it would make me feel bad about myself. That I was not good enough for them as I was.

I dated a Dom for a short time that called one of my sundresses slutty and made me change before we went out to dinner. It was not low-cut or even short. It came almost to my knees and I always get compliments on how flattering it is on me. I cried about it that night and then finally had a discussion with him later. I let him know that this was how I dress and he knew that coming in. If he did not find me attractive in a sundress, chances were we were not going to be very compatible in other ways either. He was a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy, which was fine with me, but I like to wear dresses and look nice when I go out. I rarely wear just jeans and a t-shirt. I think 10 years ago I would have just kept silent and been miserable about it. But I have gotten to the point where I want someone who likes me for who I am and I am not afraid to tell them how something makes me feel.

If someone did want to change the clothes I wear, there is a much better way to go about it. All they have to do is buy me something they find attractive and then tell me how much they love it when I wear that outfit. I promise I will wear it as often as I can for someone that I care about because I know they like it on me.

I would question anyone who wanted me to do something that went completely against who I am as a person, like shave my head. I know it is only hair, but I love my long hair. And every man I have ever been with has loved it too. Loved pulling it and running their fingers through it. Loved seeing it messed up after a long lovemaking session.

A tattoo or piercing would be something I would do for the right person. I have a serious fear of needles, but I know I could overcome that fear if someone I loved with all my heart wanted me to be marked for them.

_____________________________

Finally home where I belong.

"A lot of disappointed people have been left standing on the street corner waiting for the bus marked 'Perfection.' " Donald Kennedy

(in reply to Misstoyou)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 9/2/2008 4:45:06 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		it depends.

he might ask me which colored company shirt he should wear during the dinner/meetings or i might tell him if told to wear his baby doll under it.  i did however tell him, he's getting a complete facial, body scrub/waxing and skin treatment (for the allergic reactions from the chemicals used on his job)before our planned event in 2yrs.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 9/2/2008 5:03:57 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		I have a personal preference for long haired men.  But not all guys look good with long hair, so it's not required.  I generally just ask my boys to keep enough hair on the top that I can grab and hold it.  None of my R/L boys have ever had their heads shaved.  I'm not sure how I would deal with.  Guess I'll figure out that bridge when I get there.
-------
As for tattoos, piercings, branding or other body modifications... I would never require that.  I'm sort of a 'nothing lasts forever' kind of person who always felt a pang of pity toward those people who have names of ex-partners tattooed on themselves.  I did tell one boy that if he really wanted to, he could get a tattoo of an 8 pointed compass star.  That guy didn't turn out to be a good match for me, so it's just as well that we never went that far.

I do have one virtual boy who looks very good with his head shaved.  I requested a photo of him with hair so I would know which 'look' I preferred.  He apologized that he has been shaving his head for 27 years and doesn't have any photos from before.  *smile*  I guess I'll let him keep the bald look.  It suits him well and it's something he's comfortable with.

< Message edited by MsStarlett -- 9/2/2008 5:08:23 AM >

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 9/2/2008 7:17:50 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		I have a "right" to do anything which my wife has agreed that I may do.  In our case, she does not enforce any boundaries of her own so yes, I do have the right to change appearance (and much much more).   I have, in fact, changed her appearance pretty much head to toe in every respect. 

The next question, beyond what "rights" I have as her dominant, is whether it'd be prudent or not to do something.  Of course, with authority comes responsibility and if I'm a ham-handed fool who breaks the toys by messing with her self-image, then there is nobody to look at but me.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Changing a sub's appearance - do you have a right i... - 9/2/2008 9:36:15 AM   
Captivated631


Posts: 2
Joined: 3/18/2008
Status: offline 		Having a very deep desire to please, I find it difficult to refuse a request ... if one follows one's heart the requested change it would seem cannot be denied...  there are however deep psychological changes with certain types of attire for example if a domme requires a male to don female attire - but struggling with such things is the nature of it all is it not?   She must continually challenge and the challenge must always be answered in some way... is there another annswer other than yes mistress????

(in reply to DominaSusan)
Profile   Post #: 40
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