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fyreredsub -> soulsearching (11/25/2005 7:06:36 PM)
if you had to ask yourself serious questions on 24/7 TPE M/s ...as in....is this what i really want? what kind of questions would you ask yourself? what areas of your life would you examine? thanks, any responses would be appreciated.

kisshou -> RE: soulsearching (11/25/2005 9:53:48 PM)
How would giving authority to someone over myself effect responsibilities that I currently have? Do I feel broken and in need of someone to fix me? How would someone else having authority over me effect my financial position?

mossy -> RE: soulsearching (11/25/2005 10:38:44 PM)
Am i really ready to give up my freedom to this extent? Do i realize, having thought all things through, the fullest that this entails? Am i sure i have seen this Person in all of their moods good and bad? and i can handle this? Is the Other, as sure of what They are doing,, as They seem? ie: Their motive? Have i asked all the questions i need to ask? or am i purposely leaving out some, i prefer not to know the answer to.....possibly even subconciously? Is there even the slightest chance....i need to get away from something/someone? Does this situation hold for me....what i truly need, not just now, but in the long run? Am i fully understood and respected, will my deep inner spirit have room to grow? Will i be encouraged to continue to be a unique individual? Is it really clear.....just how much input i will have? If any?

fyreredsub -> RE: soulsearching (11/26/2005 3:57:43 AM)
thank you both for your replies. A bit more coffee then some journaling.my hormones were still on rush /intense mode yesterday w/ all those wonderful warm fuzzies that go along w/ Master. I knew i wouldnt get deep enough and i need more than superficial thinking and yesterday the glow was still on and Master wants me to seriously investigate my feelings.again much thanks!!

Tapestry -> RE: soulsearching (11/26/2005 4:19:12 AM)
Good idea - journaling! I'm going to do the same. Master has asked me to journal about him, my feelings, and all that goes with it and of course I had started that as soon as I met him, but these suggestions are very pointed questions which should help me to be more clear. Thanks so much for starting the thread fyre, and for the replies mossy and kisshou. I love being part of this community, the ways we support, encourage, and nurture one another.

candystripper -> RE: soulsearching (11/26/2005 4:22:36 AM)
First, do i really Respect Him. If He has traits that offend me, i am fooling myself that this will work. Second, do i Trust Him? Whatever He may wish to do in sex or play, can i trust that He will not harm me unintentionally? Do i feel He is my One? The love and admiration and lust i need to feel to be drawn to Him enough to be bound to Him. Do i have the fortitude to stay with Him through Troubles and such? Does He respect me? Is He clear on what is intolerable to me and comfortable with those boundaries? Does He exhibit the same love -- attraction -- admiration -- lust that i feel for Him? Am i fooling myself that "this will come in time"? Do either one of us have any physical or emotional needs and if so, does the other feel capable of coping with them? Are there children or aging parents to consider? Teenagers are notoriously annoying and very hard to fool; what sort of life would i have if He has custody of them? This needs a great deal of discussion. What is His past record? Has He been promiscuous? A commimtment-phobe? A drunk or some other addiction? The past is the best predictor of the future (not my original thought) and i'd need to seriously consider whether He has changed for life -- not just for right now. There are a million things to consider. Some aspects of the Man's Character must be apparent to you now...but have you seen enough? candystripper

fyreredsub -> RE: soulsearching (11/26/2005 5:26:13 AM)
for me it is the fight of -- giving up being in charge... loss of independance, Master is most intuitive, (and trust is not an issue after what lessons he gave me---) he knows how hard i worked to gain control of my life....he does not want to crush my spirit...he wants me totally be able and understanding of my feelings and the reasons behind. he saw some of the fight(not literal/figueratively)...my pride, my sense of loss at my life not being the same since meeting him..to understand fully the profound effect that consentual slavery would have on my life(may I ad Gorean to that)...so that also includes a different dynamic to the M/s. anyway thanks ladies.......soulsearching is never easy.i will keep coming back and reading..ya'lls input is so valuable at times like this....big hugs Master is having a most profound effect on my life in so many ways that i never dreamed of. yesterdays intensity was overwhelming but in a good way. he just wants me in good head space.........and then of course he gets the unedited brain dump,lol.

fyreredsub -> RE: soulsearching (11/26/2005 5:29:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Tapestry Good idea - journaling! I'm going to do the same. Master has asked me to journal about him, my feelings, and all that goes with it and of course I had started that as soon as I met him, but these suggestions are very pointed questions which should help me to be more clear. Thanks so much for starting the thread fyre, and for the replies mossy and kisshou. I love being part of this community, the ways we support, encourage, and nurture one another. the support is wonderous- yes-sometimes i would ne at a loss w/out it. its not like we can go to 'nilla friends/or whatever....with some of these questions in our minds.hearts.souls.... blessings

starshineowned -> RE: soulsearching (11/26/2005 8:23:17 AM)
quote: if you had to ask yourself serious questions on 24/7 TPE M/s ...as in....is this what i really want? Do I really understand what 24/7 and TCE means? Does it match what my perspective Masters idea's of these are? Am I really, and truely being honest with myself about being a slave, and the type of life that would entail hence forth or am I just giving myself lip service, and thinking it's all going to be so cool because of that fantasy allure? Do I fully "get it" that when the Master takes this control from me..that it means just that in All facets of my life, and not just one's I feel like letting go of? If he doesn't let me make the bills out, and he forgets to send one out..am I prepared to just be the slave in these situations and truely let go of those responsibilities and outcomes of such as he has directed? What is it about myself that I really have to offer this Master? Are they things that are honestly consistent with my personality all the time or just a front or show to move things along right? Will I always hold my head up proudly in all that is asked of me to do or can I eventually at the very least aspire to this point through his guidance? Do I understand the meaning and accept that it is about his needs/wants/desires, and through fulfiling those my contentment and happiness flourish. List could get really long but those are a few beforehand questions. starshine Happy slave of Master Delvin

IrishMist -> RE: soulsearching (11/26/2005 8:30:06 AM)
Do I like him? Do I trust him? Do I respect him? How well does he listen? When he is angry, how does he react? Do we have the same basic qualities? And if not, can I give up mine to suit his? ( ie, religion, politics, etc ) Why do I wish to give up complete control to HIM? What is it about HIM that attracts me most? Why does he want ME? Why does he NEED me? I have done everything in my power to make this so, but does he trust and respect ME? LOL, the list could go on and on.

veronicaofML -> RE: soulsearching (11/26/2005 9:02:21 AM)
if you had to ask yourself serious questions on 24/7 TPE M/s ...as in....is this what i really want? what kind of questions would you ask yourself? what areas of your life would you examine? thanks, any responses would be appreciated. =========== 24/7/365 D/s...? is this what i really want? in the beginning? i was trying to grasp it. all i set out to do, was find 'a' female, that would let me pamper and spoil her w/o hollering i was smothering her, and she needed her space. a female i could have in my life, that enjoyed being waited on hand and foot and wouldn't walk away from me. a female that i could have in my life that knew i liked to pamper and spoil and would not only be happy with me but wouldn't make fun of me coz i was too-nice to her. a buddy showed me the internet. here are the q's sorta. why in hell would i wanna be around some broad that is into kinky shit? jeez louise all i want is 'a' gal i can pamper n spoil. hey? how could i do that and keep my sanity? would i have-to be into that kinky shit just-to pamper n spoil a gal? hmmm i wonder what it would be like...how do i find out? what if i don't like pain? my ole man used to beat the shit outta me for 20 years.... can i find one of those gals and not have the pain? --the rest is history here. happy early holidays to you

fyreredsub -> RE: soulsearching (11/26/2005 9:20:38 AM)
thanks star, Irish, Veronica. again much more for me to think of. goodness i do so love this place.

Mercnbeth -> RE: soulsearching (11/26/2005 10:10:28 AM)
quote: if you had to ask yourself serious questions on 24/7 TPE M/s ...as in....is this what i really want? what kind of questions would you ask yourself? what areas of your life would you examine? No stone was left unturned. Every aspect of this slave's life from the mundane to the most important was analyzed~most importantly....does this slave have what it takes--the emotional, spiritual, intellectual and physical fortitude to submit and surrender to a TPE relationship, regardless of His perfections/imperfections? if there was anything standing in the way of answering yes to that question(and there was!) it was worked through and dealt with...a therapuetic process that lasted 3 years before this slave was ready to answer yes. until you can give of yourself without reservation, He could be the ONE or the devil incarnate, it won't matter, if you can't surrender like that, DON'T...until YOU are ready. This slave is a spiritual sort and firmly believes that when the "student" or "seeker" is ready the "teacher" or "truth" will appear...no further convincing or outside validation will be desired or necessary. this slave doesn't feel that the same vanilla rules apply here, as in, FOR THIS SLAVE, an M/s relationship is a LOT different than entering into a vanilla marriage contract or "dating" someone with that marriage contract as an end goal. Completely different set of rules.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: soulsearching (11/26/2005 11:00:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fyreredsub what kind of questions would you ask yourself? What are my priorities today? Where will my priorities be in 5 years? 10 years? What do I find essential to fulfillment of who I am? What owuld be my ideal fantasy life? quote: what areas of your life would you examine? All of them.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: soulsearching (11/26/2005 11:02:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: starshineowned TCE means? Oh no, another one? Total Control Exchange? Exactly how is this an improvement on "TPE" or "APE?" And I still think "Ultimate Authority Transfer" is a more accurate way of stating it.

fyreredsub -> RE: soulsearching (11/26/2005 11:21:51 AM)
all i know is i have loads to think about before seriously surrending all of me.just boogles the mind.

fyreredsub -> RE: soulsearching (11/26/2005 11:23:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: if you had to ask yourself serious questions on 24/7 TPE M/s ...as in....is this what i really want? what kind of questions would you ask yourself? what areas of your life would you examine? No stone was left unturned. Every aspect of this slave's life from the mundane to the most important was analyzed~most importantly....does this slave have what it takes--the emotional, spiritual, intellectual and physical fortitude to submit and surrender to a TPE relationship, regardless of His perfections/imperfections? if there was anything standing in the way of answering yes to that question(and there was!) it was worked through and dealt with...a therapuetic process that lasted 3 years before this slave was ready to answer yes. until you can give of yourself without reservation, He could be the ONE or the devil incarnate, it won't matter, if you can't surrender like that, DON'T...until YOU are ready. This slave is a spiritual sort and firmly believes that when the "student" or "seeker" is ready the "teacher" or "truth" will appear...no further convincing or outside validation will be desired or necessary. this slave doesn't feel that the same vanilla rules apply here, as in, FOR THIS SLAVE, an M/s relationship is a LOT different than entering into a vanilla marriage contract or "dating" someone with that marriage contract as an end goal. Completely different set of rules. and what does one do when they find out Master isn't perfect that indeed he is human and can occasionaly 'fuck up'?how would i handle that scenario? oh there is just so much to think on.thanks ya'll.

jamesthehumanrug -> RE: soulsearching (11/26/2005 11:25:42 AM)
fyre red sub greetings ya- like: am i doing anything, cause i gotta' give it all ,up immediately ,from flirting,to reading mags;eating;buying ,and ,watching tv,and,or masturbating.... any ,other , innane questions,neonate?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: soulsearching (11/26/2005 11:25:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fyreredsub all i know is i have loads to think about before seriously surrending all of me.just boogles the mind. You're a step ahead by knowing that much at least.

bottominwa -> RE: soulsearching (11/26/2005 11:27:29 AM)
Just my two cents but for years I have thought TPE was really a misnomer when you actually see it in most dyads and certainly as it is generally described online...it is more of a TPT total power take...in most cases...meaning one person has total power over the other period. Exchange implies a cross current as it were...a give and take...We strive for this...TPE...an exchange...not a "taking' of power. just an aside. sabrina King

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