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Which would a Dom prefer...? - 9/2/2008 5:20:18 PM   
Bendforyou


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/30/2008
Status: offline 		If ordered to do something 'out of my comfort level' yet still with in my limits, does my Dom expect to see the reticence on my face (although I follow the order immediately) or should I undertake the action (no matter how uncomfortable it makes me) with joy?

Thanks!
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RE: Which would a Dom prefer...? - 9/2/2008 5:26:28 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Only your Dom would know the answer to that. Personally I am myself. If I am uncomfortable with something I make it known but then I resign myself to doing it willingly and with as much joy as I can because it pleases him. I'm not always successful but I am always honest about how I'm feeling or thinking and that shows in my gestures.

(in reply to Bendforyou)
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RE: Which would a Dom prefer...? - 9/2/2008 5:37:52 PM   
DomDolf


Posts: 363
Joined: 7/11/2008
Status: offline 		littlewonder is correct in saying that your dominant is the only one that can answer that. My opinion on the matter is that I do not want anyone to pretend to like something they don't but I also don't want whining, pouting or disrespectful behavior of any type to come out either. Your eyes will tell the story. Stomping feet, bitching and complaining will not be met well by someone like me.

Dolf

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: Which would a Dom prefer...? - 9/2/2008 5:40:58 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		That depends completely on your Dom. What he might want to see and what any of us might want have really nothing to do with one another. What I used to want to see from my Angel when I had him was different from what I would want from my Fox now. Same activities and Id expect or desire different responses... so you cant tell what he wants unless you ask him.

DV


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I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

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VampiresLair

(in reply to DomDolf)
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RE: Which would a Dom prefer...? - 9/2/2008 6:51:39 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Master would prefer honesty. If something's not easy for me he'd prefer to know that, vs me putting a false face on the situation.

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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: Which would a Dom prefer...? - 9/2/2008 6:55:04 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Master would prefer honesty. If something's not easy for me he'd prefer to know that, vs me putting a false face on the situation.

Same here.  He doesn't want faked reactions and a false smile.  If He sees hesitation or some other sign that I am troubled, He'll deal with it as He so chooses.  How can He deal with my genuine reactions/ feelings if I lie and put forth ones I assume He'd rather see?  No, no, no ..... no assuming what He wants.  He'll take the true reactions and go from there.  No lying or faking allowed................luci

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RE: Which would a Dom prefer...? - 9/2/2008 7:16:54 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		He wants to know the problem upfront. Because frequently if we discuss it, there's only one small part that is causing me major difficulties so if he leaves that bit out, I can do it easier.

What he doesn't want is me to lie to him about everything being hunky dory while storing up resentment that poisons the relationship.

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(in reply to slaveluci)
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RE: Which would a Dom prefer...? - 9/2/2008 10:13:38 PM   
theq


Posts: 85
Joined: 6/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bendforyou

If ordered to do something 'out of my comfort level' yet still with in my limits, does my Dom expect to see the reticence on my face (although I follow the order immediately) or should I undertake the action (no matter how uncomfortable it makes me) with joy?

quote:

reticence


With my girl she is always free to ask: "May I respectfully decline, Sir?" I'll often ask why and try to better understand the situation. At the end of hearing her explanation, I may say, "No, it's alright." I might also say, "Do it anyways." In the latter case, I expect that she's told me all the relevant reasoning prior and I expect she'll do as she's told with no further whining or disagreeable attitudes.

Disclaimer: That's just me. Mileage may vary, your situation may be different, please discuss your relational situation with your Masterly advisor who will help you take your individual circumstances into consideration.

(in reply to Bendforyou)
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RE: Which would a Dom prefer...? - 9/2/2008 11:52:29 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

He wants to know the problem upfront. Because frequently if we discuss it, there's only one small part that is causing me major difficulties so if he leaves that bit out, I can do it easier.

What he doesn't want is me to lie to him about everything being hunky dory while storing up resentment that poisons the relationship.


*sighs*  Sheez DesFIP.  You're beating me to the punch with all the practical advice *laughs*.  I'm just going to resign myself to being your fan club tonight.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: Which would a Dom prefer...? - 9/3/2008 3:26:15 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bendforyou

If ordered to do something 'out of my comfort level' yet still with in my limits, does my Dom expect to see the reticence on my face (although I follow the order immediately) or should I undertake the action (no matter how uncomfortable it makes me) with joy?

I'm not particularly attracted to a sub who's passionless and wooden so I don't mind if she occasionally shows some attitude or emotion at something I've told her to do.  As with all things, as long as it's in moderation I'll mostly let it pass - or have a chuckle.... 
 
Hmmm, that said, sometimes I'll give her something to do precisely to see the look on her face - I still like to play with my food.... ;-)
 
Focus. 

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(in reply to Bendforyou)
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RE: Which would a Dom prefer...? - 9/3/2008 3:42:33 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		My reaction would be along the lines of "You want me to do WHAT???!!!???"

Sorta lets him know my feelings.....




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RE: Which would a Dom prefer...? - 9/3/2008 5:41:52 PM   
SirJohnMandevill


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bendforyou

If ordered to do something 'out of my comfort level' yet still with in my limits, does my Dom expect to see the reticence on my face (although I follow the order immediately) or should I undertake the action (no matter how uncomfortable it makes me) with joy?

Thanks!


Here's where -- say it with me, class -- communication is paramount. I expect my submissive lady to tell me if I'm doing something outside her "comfort zone." If it's something important to me, I'll refrain during that particular scene and then we'll discuss it afterward.
 
Ultimately, I would expect her to accede to my wishes unless it's something truly physically or psychologically harmful to her.
 
My .02 zlotys.
 
Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

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Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

(in reply to Bendforyou)
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RE: Which would a Dom prefer...? - 9/3/2008 6:41:54 PM   
silkncarol


Posts: 318
Status: offline 		I wouldn't try to hide my feelings from my Dominant.....He'd know if i was truly uncomfortable or unable to follow one of his orders either from my facial expression or body language...or if something was truly beyond me, i'd say "with all due respect Sir, i can not do what you've asked" and then explain why.... what he then does with the information is his decision....but i also know each order isn't open to negotiation and debate...there is a time and place for the discussion....

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We attract hearts by the qualities we display. We retain them by the qualities we possess.

Shoes can change your life................. Cinderella

(in reply to SirJohnMandevill)
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RE: Which would a Dom prefer...? - 9/3/2008 6:44:31 PM   
simpleplan2


Posts: 461
Joined: 7/5/2008
Status: offline 		I never have understood this.  If it's not in my comfort level, the joy factor is pretty much zero.  That doesn't mean I won't do it nor does it mean I'm necessarily going to bitch about it, but he's sure as hell not going to see any joy.

(in reply to Bendforyou)
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RE: Which would a Dom prefer...? - 9/4/2008 9:30:20 AM   
ODadEO


Posts: 44
Joined: 7/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomDolf

littlewonder is correct in saying that your dominant is the only one that can answer that. My opinion on the matter is that I do not want anyone to pretend to like something they don't but I also don't want whining, pouting or disrespectful behavior of any type to come out either. Your eyes will tell the story. Stomping feet, bitching and complaining will not be met well by someone like me.

Dolf


yeah, what he said

(in reply to DomDolf)
Profile   Post #: 15
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