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RE: Consent - 9/5/2008 8:41:16 PM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
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I second what has been said ... tell only those you see a real need to tell and only after permission from them ie ask them if they really want to know, even if they were the ones who asked the question! I find focusing more on the psychology or lifestyle aspects and less on the bedroom side of it to be more helpful. As most have said here, the sex part of life isn't usually gossiped over in detail. Generally friends are more understanding than family ... after all, they've already CHOSEN to be your friend which means they must have accepted at least some of your quirks! Have lifestyle friends with whom you can be totally out so you have the opportunity to express that freely and fully.
good luck!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Consent - 9/6/2008 4:27:54 AM   
StrangerThan


Posts: 1515
Joined: 4/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: simpleplan2

I don't understand why you'd want to.  I mean, unless you plan on going around in leather or somehow "advertising" the type of lifestyleyou enjoy, why would you explain or "come out" to your family?  Why unnecessarily upset them (if you would, in fact, upset them)?  Most of the life anyone leads is prolly 80% vanilla.  Seeing me on the street, you'd never know my proclivities.  I wear jeans and a t shirt or dress up to go out to dinner.  I certainly have more interesting and varied conversation than WIITWD.  I doubt that I'd deny it if someone point blank asked me but I see no reason to volunteer the information.


I couldn't agree more. I see this type of thing about "coming out" all the time and in many cases wonder... why? I mean seriously, is it important for you to know what everyone else does behind closed doors? Granted there are cases where coming out is important. I guess if you're going to be chained to the floor licking turkey and dressing off a plate at Thanksgiving dinner while your extended family steps over you on the way to the gravy bowl, it might help for them to know what you practice at home. I suppose if you have to sit collared and leashed at your Dominant's feet while attending the local high school football game where his or her nephew is the star running back, yeah, then I guess you need to come out. I'd imagine that if you're going to walk around sporting obvious bruises or marks or carry Madam Zenon's brand on the side of your face, it would be a good idea to let those close to you know why. Ok, so maybe those are extreme examples, but as simple said, 80 percent of life (for most) is lived within a structure that doesn't want to know the details, even shuns the idea of details regardless of what they are.

If I'm asked, I don't have a problem telling people what I do. At the same time, I don't see a reason to force upon them knowledge they don't want either. We all have people we tell, people we trust, people we talk to about the lifestyle we lead. Toting around a neon sign in order to demand that the rest of society step aside in terms of how it functions in order to accomodate how I function however isn't something I see as necessary. Then again, I've always been an independant bastard. The only person I feel that I have to prove anything to in that regard is my submissive.

(in reply to simpleplan2)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Consent - 9/7/2008 8:40:13 PM   
djaleksandr


Posts: 203
Joined: 3/10/2008
Status: offline
Meh, they've never asked, and I've no desire to offer the information. None of my family's business, really.

_____________________________

'is simplicity best, or simply the easiest?
the narrowest path is always the holiest.
so walk on barefoot for me,
suffer some misery,
if you want my love.'
[ depechemode judas ]

(in reply to StrangerThan)
Profile   Post #: 43
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