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Bondage - 9/4/2008 7:42:20 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I was talking to a vanilla friend yesterday (she knows about my lifrstyle), and we got to talking about bondage. She said she hates it this baffeled me because what it there to hate? So i asked wher why she said she hates the loss of control, hates that she can't stop him from doing anything.

For me the fact that i can't stop him (even if i could i would not) and he can do anything he wants to my body. I mean it belongs to him he can do anything he wants anyway, but the fact i am totally at his mercy is a huge turn on for me.

So do you like or hate bondage? and why?

Matt's littleone

Post #: 1

RE: Bondage - 9/4/2008 7:53:25 AM

silkenfire

Posts: 130
Joined: 9/27/2007
Status: offline

I wonder if she might like it if she were the one doing the tying up...

But I personally agree with your viewpoint. It is a huge turnon for me to be completely at his mercy.

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 2

RE: Bondage - 9/4/2008 8:05:40 AM

sublizzie

Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline

I *love* bondage! Love the loss of control and the feeling of being controlled. Love that he can do anything he wants. Love watching him check to make sure everything is safe for me and still tight enough so I can't wiggle. Yummy.

_____________________________

"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

(in reply to silkenfire)

Post #: 3

RE: Bondage - 9/4/2008 8:13:53 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

I think Im in love with you women.

(in reply to sublizzie)

Post #: 4

RE: Bondage - 9/4/2008 8:20:57 AM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

I'm not keen on it. It's not just that I'm dominant... I have joint issues. I tried allowing myself to be bound. Hated it! When my joints start screaming MOVE! - I don't want to wait on someone to release me. When I do bondage, I prefer chains or my hog tie rig and spring clips because it's faster and I don't want to tear up my fingernails fooling with knots.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 5

RE: Bondage - 9/4/2008 8:23:56 AM

VampiresLair

Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline

I love bondage, being on the tying end, not the tied end. I like watching someone struggle, knowing they cant get away. The fight is what turns me on, not the accepted helplessness. I like someone who struggles agaisnt bonds, or even struggles against me, since I am stronger than Fox and can easily hold him down. I also like the eye contact control.. depending on how someone is tied, they have no choice about where they look. They can either not see whats coming, at all, or they cant turn away.

Purr
DV

(in reply to MsStarlett)

Post #: 6

RE: Bondage - 9/4/2008 8:58:58 AM

silkenfire

Posts: 130
Joined: 9/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

I'm not keen on it. It's not just that I'm dominant... I have joint issues. I tried allowing myself to be bound. Hated it! When my joints start screaming MOVE! - I don't want to wait on someone to release me. When I do bondage, I prefer chains or my hog tie rig and spring clips because it's faster and I don't want to tear up my fingernails fooling with knots.

... I didn't bring up this in my original reply on this thread but it is an important point. There have been times that my joints have been bad enough that I have had to literally throw someone out of bed (mid-sex) to stand up. It is all a balance, (for me) of especially having the partner understand. In public play situations where not everyone there understands my specific situation... I'm never constrained in a way I can't get out of.

In prior relationships I have felt the need for 2 different safewords -- one that is just because of the level of the play, and one that is solely for the "I need out now and this is totally not negotiable because of medical reasons" -- which generally actually comes up more often during sex than play, for some reason.

I do love bondage though, and there are ways to work it out where getting out can be fast, even with knots, but it's all about proper communication, I think. I can go weeks without a flareup but then I can have some really nasty days where I can barely handle any sexual activity or bdsm play.

(in reply to MsStarlett)

Post #: 7

RE: Bondage - 9/4/2008 9:14:47 AM

apiercedkitty

Posts: 569
Joined: 2/22/2007
From: Michigan
Status: offline

i love it!! Even with joint problems. He knows about them and tries to accomodate what i positions i can or cannnot endure. Besides, the pain/pleasure can usually take my mind off that shoulder that's feels like it's filled with glass shards... when i start writhing to fix it - He usually changes what He's doing and i'm able to refocus. Of course, there's always the safeword if i really need to stop.

_____________________________

normal is a setting on a washing machine...

(in reply to silkenfire)

Post #: 8

RE: Bondage - 9/4/2008 9:39:58 AM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

At times I love it, and at times I hate it. Depends on alot of factors to be honest.

Also depends on the type of bondage.

Last time i was staked out to the 4 posts on the bed it was awesome, time before that I fought so hard I started to make the 4" solid oak head board flex and Master was worried i'd do damage to it.

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to apiercedkitty)

Post #: 9

RE: Bondage - 9/4/2008 10:05:45 AM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

I've always felt a sense of calmness and security while bound. As for what is there to hate? Well, some people love pizza and some hate it. Maybe you hate something she absolutely loves.

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 10

RE: Bondage - 9/4/2008 11:43:19 AM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
Status: offline

There's a comforting, yet scary feeling of vulnerability in being bound. I think one of the reasons that it can evoke such negative feelings is because of that vulnerability.

And that sort of vulnerability takes a level of trust that doesn't exist in many relationships.

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 11

RE: Bondage - 9/4/2008 1:27:01 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I love it. Just the feel of the ropes coming out of the bag and landing on my body get me aroused. There are the occasional times that something hurts but except for that, it's all good as long as I'm not standing up. Being bound standing tends to make me panic, I always feel I'm off balance and about to fall.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)

Post #: 12

RE: Bondage - 9/4/2008 10:17:32 PM

monywildcat

Posts: 452
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline

I absolutely love love LURVE the bondage, being the tied up one more so than the one crafting the knots. I struggle, I fight, in the end I give in. Highly erotic, in my book anyways. Some hate the very idea. Well, I don't like canned chili. To each their own.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 13

RE: Bondage - 9/4/2008 11:29:41 PM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

I was talking to a vanilla friend yesterday (she knows about my lifrstyle), and we got to talking about bondage. She said she hates it this baffeled me because what it there to hate? So i asked wher why she said she hates the loss of control, hates that she can't stop him from doing anything.

For me the fact that i can't stop him (even if i could i would not) and he can do anything he wants to my body. I mean it belongs to him he can do anything he wants anyway, but the fact i am totally at his mercy is a huge turn on for me.

So do you like or hate bondage? and why?

I think it's folly to try and rationally explain bondage to vanillas.

I regard bondage as the physical manifestation of control over my girl. I put it right into her head that it's not the ropes or cuffs etc that she feels keeping her helplessly restrained, it's *ME* that she's feeling - period! And she'll keep on feeling my grip on her for as long as I desire - that she has NO choices in the matter (beyond any safety issues that may arise).

Ergo, bondage is about control - as is the greater relationship dynamic. Who would bother explaining that to a vanilla and expect understanding? When I played with bondage in my early vanilla relationships, they liked it for as long as they were getting something sexual out of it. But nillas don't get to "escape" into sub-space - if there's nothing pro-actively happening to them, they quickly get bored, which usually leads to a feeling of being humiliated - which quickly becomes anger...!

Controlling your partner is socially unacceptable in the predominantly vanilla world. And you've probably got no hope of explaining sub-space, anyway. So I don't bother explaining at all.... Any woman who doesn't enjoy being controlled won't enjoy being with me - truly the bottom line.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 14

RE: Bondage - 9/5/2008 12:00:25 AM

pinnipedster

Posts: 217
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline

Bondage is my main kink. I love, love bondage. I wish I could find someone who was really anywhere near as into doing the tying as I am into being tied. I'd like to try some much more extreme and prolonged bondage than I have had the chance to experience.

If I were twenty-five or so years younger and female, I think I would do just about anything to get to be a model for the House of Gord site...ohmigod.

But, I understand that some people wouldn't enjoy it, that it might even send them into a panic. Heck, my grandmother not only wouldn't wear seatbelts in a car, she wouldn't even lock the door on her side; she had a terror of being trapped. She would only take elevators when she absolutely had to.

I also can enjoy tying someone up -- I don't get switch urges often, but it can be fun.

What I don't understand is people who are icked out about tying their partner up, if their partner clearly is enjoying it. One woman I dated for a while decided to give tying me up a try. She got about halfway through and just had to stop and untie me -- it felt completely wrong to her. I don't get it, but, well, people are different.

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 15

RE: Bondage - 9/5/2008 12:52:05 AM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

quote:

So i asked wher why

Would you ask why a non-masochist hates pain? If you’re not into it, there is no ‘’why”, it’s just the way each person is wired.

quote:

So do you like or hate bondage? and why?

I love bondage for many different reasons.
I love the feel of leather cuffs against my skin, the scent, the jingle of the D-rings.
I love the metallic bite of hand cuffs..
I love the humiliation and vulnerability/accessibility with a spreader bar, my wrists shackled to my ankles, the wicked gleam in his eyes.

Fear can be a turn on! I don’t always feel physically safe when ‘all trussed up and no place to go’, but rather am psychologically freed from responsibility for what is about to happen.
I agree with Focus that physical bonds are a reminder of the mental bonds already in place in the relationship, but it is a very powerful symbolism.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 16

RE: Bondage - 9/5/2008 1:09:00 AM

pdv99

Posts: 140
Joined: 3/13/2007
From: UK
Status: offline

I'm a switch. I love restraint - both giving and taking. It symbolises trust - "I give you control to the extent that You could do anything and I could not resist". When I am sub being restrained allows me to be taken into places I probably could not otherwise endure.....(smiles.. - one of my first experiences of D/s was a girlfriend who liked to "tie and tease" - had I not been restrained I'd have given in to the urge to grab my cock and finish myself off after about the third time she brought me to the brink of orgasm and stopped short. But that would have been after about 20 minutes - and the orgasm I finally had, four screaming, crying, begging hours later was DEFINITELY worth the wait.)
But on a practical level, I prefer leather cuffs, clips, padlocks and chains, or velcro to rope. It's probably because they can be quicker to put in place and remove. I suppose for me it's what happens once the restraint is in place that is more important than simply the feeling of being constrained. And nothing has ever "gone wrong" - but if it did, even with something as simple as a bad attack of cramp, I know the cuffs etc could be quicker to remove. Maybe it's because I'm an ex-climber and I know that having to cut a perfectly good rope because someone was having a panic attack and the knots had pulled tight would just grieve me.
Peter

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 17

RE: Bondage - 9/5/2008 8:17:05 AM

AnakaSilk

Posts: 4
Joined: 9/4/2008
Status: offline

Love it Love it Love it! Bondage was one of my first forays into the scene - and it's still probably my favorite. I trust my partner (now Master) completely, and surrendering control to him is one of the most incredible feelings ever. I feel my body getting softer and more relaxed as the ropes get tighter... what an awesome feeling. Even the time it takes to do a full immobilization - I just treat it as part of the surrendering process. The more rope that goes on, the more knots there are, the more control I have given away.

But you are correct, trying to explain to a Vanilla friend.... Best of luck to you. You're going to need it.

(in reply to pdv99)

Post #: 18

RE: Bondage - 9/5/2008 11:06:01 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

Bondage is my kink, so much so that I fantasized about it since I first formed memories. BDSM always confused me because I had no use for the D or the S or the M. And when I tried to become part of munch groups and such no one was ever able to understand me, it was like pain and discipline involving pain was supposed to be a part of my needs and I've been treated as weird and strange even within these groups. For me, the hottest porn I ever had the extreme pleasure to watch included absolutely no sex, not a single penis made an appearance, and no pain, spanking, or anything, just scene after scene of seemingly impossible bondage situations. Hot hot hot!!!!

How I ended up with a Sadist, I'm not sure but the good news is that all of our play includes bondage, so I'm a very happy slave.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 19

RE: Bondage - 9/5/2008 12:56:39 PM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline

I am greedy i love to bind and be bound /mummified , even bound for visual effect or purpose driven .In short i dont just check that box i color it all in and decorate it .

Seems your pal does not like the loss of control and maybe as suggested she would like to have control ?

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 20

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