Ideal

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

Ideal

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Ideal

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Ideal - 9/4/2008 2:17:59 PM

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

What is your ideal relationship? What is the dynamic in that relationship? Are you willing to accept something different (NOT SETTLE FOR LESS) if there is genuine love and affection?

Those of you in your ideal relationship...what makes it so?

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

RE: Ideal - 9/4/2008 2:33:50 PM

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

Wow, this question comes at an interesting time in my life, recently released from a man who owned me for four years and newly talking to someone who is showing me a completely different side to D/s. I'm still figuring out my ideal relationship, but I do know this - I tried very hard to fit a description of a label that I thought was important to me, and in doing so I failed myself. As a result, I am rethinking the whole idea of "labels" and not really caring what they mean, and learning to just be the me I know myself to be.

I do know that at this time, I do not want to be in a relationship in which I am unloved, a hobby, or not very important. I enjoy submitting to someone, but I don't want to be stifled, or overly restricted. There is someone I am talking to now, with whom I can be a total goofball dork, and truth be told I've never laughed so much. The man was singing Bob Dylan songs to me the other night, for god's sake!! I want to be free to be me in a relationship, whatever that means, and right now I am exploring that. And that "me" means happy, joyous, goofy, dorky, submissive, intense, simplified, aware, and full of love, in both directions. Whether I call the man by name, Sir, Master, or anything else, and whether he considers me slave, submissive, Queen of Shiba or anything else, really doesn't matter to me. Am I fed? Am I fulfilled? Am I happy? Is he? Are we open and honest and living in the present? Can we be ourselves with each other? Can we accept each other? Are we both strong and independent and live full lives and open to possibilities? Those are the things that are important to me.

I'm not sure if this answers your question very directly, but it's certainly what's on my mind lately.

(in reply to yourMissTress)

RE: Ideal - 9/4/2008 2:36:06 PM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

diet pepsi + pizza + hdtv + nfl = ideal....ill get all that tonight too!

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.

I am flawed.

Imperfect.

MUST SPANK!!!

SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to yourMissTress)

RE: Ideal - 9/4/2008 2:51:21 PM

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Edited because I hit okay with this stupid mouse by accident before I was finished.

As I was saying, but looking for a way to reword. At this point in life I don't think such a thing exists for me.

I thought I knew what it was two years ago. But now....I just don't know.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 9/4/2008 2:53:31 PM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to yourMissTress)

RE: Ideal - 9/4/2008 2:54:35 PM

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

The concept of an ideal relationship sounds a lot like peoples definition of "the one" who usually does not exist in real life.

Nobody is perfect. So, there isn't any ideal relationship. We all get on one another's nerves from time to time. You take what you absolutely need, allow love to grow then get more.
When love is part of a relationship people tend to do things they may not normally do because they care enough about you to try.
Nobody is perfect so why strive for something not obtainable? Why not find someone you can fall in love with..are compatible with then deal with their little idiosyncrasies?

(in reply to yourMissTress)

RE: Ideal - 9/4/2008 2:57:19 PM

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Thank you Nueva, you did answer my question, though the question I really wanted answered wasn't the one I typed. It's awesome to hear that you are thinking about the relationship that you are in as it fulfills you or does not fulfill you. And not if it fits into the idea you had in your head.

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to NuevaVida)

RE: Ideal - 9/4/2008 2:58:21 PM

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

diet pepsi + pizza + hdtv + nfl = ideal....ill get all that tonight too!

YAY!!! It all sounds good to me as long as the Packers are playing.

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

RE: Ideal - 9/4/2008 2:59:23 PM

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

LaT, what was your ideal? When and why did you decide you are unsure of that?

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: Ideal - 9/4/2008 3:01:25 PM

Posts: 48
Joined: 6/11/2005
Status: offline

edited because according to the main page, i'm signed in as softpjOS yet seem to be signed in on the boards under Mistress' account here? *scratches head*

score collarme -1
pj-0

quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

Those of you in your ideal relationship...what makes it so?

I'm quite happy to say i've found those ideals, in both my marriage and my relationship with Mistress.

Married for 21 years and owned by Her for 6 years.

What makes it work is the willingness of all three of us to openly communicate, accept and respect the boundries of each individual, being completely honest at all times.

My marriage is ideal because he is willing to understand me, accept and allow that which makes me happy. We have the same goals in life, love, respect and care for each other with the same intensity we had 21 years ago.

My relationship with Mistress is ideal because She accepted not only me, but my family as well. She understood and agreed that families should always come first. She does not attempt to come between me and my husband in any way. She accepts that my family is part of me and cares for them as i care for Hers.

All three of us see the relationship as a team effort. We are a combined family.

< Message edited by OriginalStuff -- 9/4/2008 3:03:59 PM >

(in reply to yourMissTress)

RE: Ideal - 9/4/2008 3:03:48 PM

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

sub4hire, the question includes accepting something that is not what fits into your own personal box of ideal...but I like your answer anyway.

The One...hmmm, can there be several of those? I mean, in a world of 6 billion people, what if "the one" is in Turkey and is 75 years older?

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to sub4hire)

RE: Ideal - 9/4/2008 3:05:29 PM

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

OriginalStuff, how wonderful for you and your partners. Thank you for sharing with me.

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to OriginalStuff)

RE: Ideal - 9/4/2008 3:05:37 PM

Posts: 398
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline

identy crisis over!1 i'm me lol

(in reply to OriginalStuff)

RE: Ideal - 9/4/2008 3:26:35 PM

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

Your question made me smile because sometimes love is not in someone's definition of ideal.

Since you are asking for opinions, IMHO an ideal relationship is one in which both (or more) are finding fulfillment, are there to help each other out when vanilla problems arise, one in which both laughter and tears are shared, and one with open - even if not perfect - communication is shared. I would rather have someone deeply care about me and not call it love than to call it love but not care - been there, done that.

_____________________________

(in reply to softpjOS)

RE: Ideal - 9/4/2008 3:36:18 PM

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

LaT, what was your ideal? When and why did you decide you are unsure of that?

Well, first and formost I fell in love with the woman. With her I began my exploration of D/s. So many times in that relationship I thought I had the ideal, yet the relationship kept changing and shifting. Part of her wanted to be submissive yet her upbringing was fighting it. I was becoming more comfortable with being dominant and setting expectations.

After alot of yada yada yada I just errased because none of you want to read and know that drama........... I spent alot of time with no one in any sort of D/s or M/s relationship assessing what will really work for me. Realistically. What is my core nature and how to make it work in my life, for real. Not just in pretty words.

I don't think any one person will be my ideal. There are just too many facets of me that I want fed. I've come to the conclusion that what is ideal for me, are multiple relationships. Different people being different things in my life.

I don't know if I will ever have that mad passionate "in love" thing again. I don't know if I even WANT to. God, it was amazing and beautiful and wonderful and dangerous and painful........so many really intense emotions. Like the difference between old colour television and the best high def. The colours so clear and intense they almost hurt to look at them. I think that maybe I don't know if I want to do that again. When she died I felt like I was blowing apart in a million different pieces inside. It was that intense.

Now there is a certain comfort in no drama. I have a slave, (perhaps two, time will tell) that feel/s a passion to serve me. There is none of that wild exciting crazy passion like with Jemma, it's orderly and calm, yet hot and sexy. I know I am far more in control and feel much more centred now. It frees me to put more passion and energy into other facets of my life instead of focusing so much on one.

I don't know if any of that makes sense. I also don't know if it will always be this way. It's just where I am today.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to yourMissTress)

RE: Ideal - 9/4/2008 3:37:50 PM

Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline

~FR~

In my "ideal" relationship I can be me and not be abused. That means being able to be as submissive/slave-like as I just naturally am and have someone appreciate that and help me to grow in who I am. This current relationship sure seems to be exactly that!

_____________________________

"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

(in reply to yourMissTress)

RE: Ideal - 9/4/2008 3:44:55 PM

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

LaT, thank you.

I keep trying to say more, but nothing more is enough. So...thank you.

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: Ideal - 9/4/2008 3:46:20 PM

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

Your question made me smile because sometimes love is not in someone's definition of ideal.

Since you are asking for opinions, IMHO an ideal relationship is one in which both (or more) are finding fulfillment, are there to help each other out when vanilla problems arise, one in which both laughter and tears are shared, and one with open - even if not perfect - communication is shared. I would rather have someone deeply care about me and not call it love than to call it love but not care - been there, done that.

Thank you!

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to chamberqueen)

RE: Ideal - 9/4/2008 3:48:07 PM

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

sublizzie, good for you! I hope your relationship continues to fulfill you and your need to grow and learn.

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to sublizzie)

RE: Ideal - 9/4/2008 3:49:04 PM

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

You are most welcome.

I started out typing the whole bloody readers digest condensed version of the relationship story but realized that it was just totally unnecessary.

I think that as we grow, mentally emotionally and spiritually, our ideal changes. At least it has for me. BIG time! Hell, I went from wanting a male knight in shining armour to save me and do all the work for me....... to being only sexually interested in women, THEN wanting to own their ass and do wicked wonderful things to them.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to yourMissTress)

RE: Ideal - 9/4/2008 4:00:19 PM

Posts: 526
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline

My ideal relationship is with somebody I'm into being with. I have done TPE M/s, Dom power couple, D/s without the TPE and some kinky twisted vanilla ones.

First and foremost, I'm a pretty Dominant personality, and I'm into kinky things. So with that said, whatever dynamic works out best between me another. It all depends upon their personality and desires as well.

I'm not into having anybody to be in a relationship with. I'd have a TPE M/s relationship with a slave provided we both were a match for one another. I'd settle for a D/s none TPE relationship with a submissive if we both for a match. I'd do another Dom couple relationship, if we both were a match. The last girl I was involved with was a Switch.

None of these things make me any more or less of a Dominant. However, the dynamics vary. Even from D/s to D/s relationship dynamics vary.

Right now, I'm in the process of getting to know somebody wonderful, the whole Daddy/Little Girl D/s scope of things.

At times it's not a matter of Orientations or the type of relationship. You have to remember a relationship is what Two people that are into each other make of it.

(in reply to yourMissTress)

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Ideal

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.191