Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive/slave?

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Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive/slave? - 11/27/2005 12:55:37 PM

Posts: 20
Joined: 3/8/2005
Status: offline

Recently, I made the agonizing decision to temporarily suspend my search for a female play submissive/slave because I've become extremely frustrated at the kind I desired. What I've discovered is that based on the informations in some of their profiles, they are either:

a) Vulgar, rude, disrespectful toward Dominants who might want to own them.

b) It's a "me, me, me!" thing with some of them.

c) Some are seeking sexual gratification or a free, yet illegall trip to the USA.

or d) They really aren't submissive as they claim, but SAMmies.

Since I made my decision, I wonder why it is so hard to find the right kind of submisisive/slave if all they want to do is play childish games? Any ideas?

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 11/27/2005 1:13:00 PM

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
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Hey...what about this? We'll sort ourselves by brand names -- like Land's End for the edge players -- so You don't have to search and get frustrated like the rest of us. And of course Doms and Masters would reciprocate and classify Themselves -- perhaps into "cyber"; "lying about being married"; "new but claiming to be Old Guard"; etc.

i'm sorry You're frustrated...but we're all frustrated. After You've had a chance to recoup, come back and keep trying...cuz without looking You'll never find Her.

candystripper

(in reply to SirEbonyDlite)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 11/27/2005 2:12:09 PM

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Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

a) Vulgar, rude, disrespectful toward Dominants who might want to own them.

I have been known to be rude and disrespectful on occassion, most often in reaction to another who has shown me no manners what-so-ever.

quote:

b) It's a "me, me, me!" thing with some of them.

When I am approached by someone, I always ask alot of questions, most often pertaining to 'what can YOU do for ME'.

I read your profile, and in it you state that any subs/slaves with strong personalities need not apply.
99% of us; subs/slaves, Doms/Masters ( Males and Females alike) Have strong personalities. We are intelligent, well spoken ( most of the time lol ), and hold OURSELVES in very high regard.

Perhaps, what you seek is not a real live breathing person, but a robot? No offense meant, but after reading your post,and your profile, that is the impression that I get.

Either way, I would second the advice. Do not give up, there is one out there for you. It takes time to find a person who matches that which you seek 100%, and even then , it takes more time to make it work.

(in reply to SirEbonyDlite)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 11/27/2005 2:16:17 PM

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Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline

Perhaps you should search for a person with whom you are compatible, rather than a category.

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to SirEbonyDlite)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 11/27/2005 2:28:05 PM

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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Dear MrsMist

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

I have been known to be rude and disrespectful on occassion, most often in reaction to another who has shown me no manners what-so-ever.

Bring a bottle of Jameson and we will talk earnestly.....
Show mei 'ors and Ill be showin' you mine, lassie!

Ah, don't find you rude; but some owd funny.

You, Miss IrishMist, I'll be wantin' to be introduced to you and Yours.

Disrespectfully, (Not Even)
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to IrishMist)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 11/27/2005 2:39:04 PM

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

b) It's a "me, me, me!" thing with some of them

Any relationship is a two way street. And this includes power exchange relationships. What may seem "me me me" to you may be a sub/slave trying to get a handle on how well your personalities and kink mesh.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to SirEbonyDlite)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 11/27/2005 2:46:14 PM

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Dear MrsMist

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

I have been known to be rude and disrespectful on occassion, most often in reaction to another who has shown me no manners what-so-ever.

Bring a bottle of Jameson and we will talk earnestly.....
Show mei 'ors and Ill be showin' you mine, lassie!

Ah, don't find you rude; but some owd funny.

You, Miss IrishMist, I'll be wantin' to be introduced to you and Yours.

Disrespectfully, (Not Even)
Ron

LOL

Ok, ok, I admit to be a bit sassy on occassion...ok, ok, all the time...but hey, a sense of humor is essential

< Message edited by IrishMist -- 11/27/2005 2:47:19 PM >

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 11/27/2005 2:52:57 PM

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Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Good Christ;
Woman?
Is this our FIRST fight?

IronBear......check these good people out

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to IrishMist)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 11/27/2005 3:03:42 PM

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Good Christ;
Woman?
Is this our FIRST fight?

/gasp

We are fighting?

Well darn it, why did you not say so, let me get the right boxing gloves out.

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 11/27/2005 3:11:16 PM

Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirEbonyDlite
I wonder why it is so hard to find the right kind of submisisive/slave if all they want to do is play childish games? Any ideas?

Probably for the same reason it's so hard to find the right kind of Dominant/Master!!

When you begin to write a woman do you ask her questions based on what you're likes and dislikes are? Do you discuss how you view life and the types of things that you enjoy? Surely the woman should be able to ask the same types of questions without beig rude, or "me" centered. Are you truly interested in her opinion, needs, wants and desires or is it all about you?

i look at the search as a two way process. Yes, it's frustrating, and sometimes giving up or giving in seem the easiest path to follow, but when you do that then everyone loses, most especially you.

Good luck in your search.

(in reply to SirEbonyDlite)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 11/27/2005 5:56:07 PM

jamesthehumanrug

Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline

greetings,sir ebony d lite

of course you got the 15 y.o from another country wanting you to sponsor them but that IS submissive
and ya you can get very rude online vs in person but
dont give anyone time to respond as you dont want them to respond
allow only what you want or quickly move to the next best person, b4 you invest your time and energy.CONTROL the situation
you cant ride a horse, thats all over the place, so you gotta get one, that you can tame and wanna take all that time with
taking them to task ,everyday,for your ultimate engagment, for your longterm happiness
so act like you're the lion tamer
and find the most worth while exotic animals
to get entagled with,
not play- time with anyone who answers you .
immediately: be top
and say what you want
and they may really take you serious and try to work, with you .
dont take the risk of really stating ,or demanding anything
and you get nada,(nothing;no-risk), in return

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 11/27/2005 5:57:35 PM >

_____________________________

I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to SirEbonyDlite)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 11/27/2005 7:06:19 PM

Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

This is the same question people seeking for ideal mates in the vanilla world ask as well. Since your desires are more specific, the available potential matches also shrink. You can't special order up a person the way you can a pizza -- submissive, dominant, or otherwise.

That would be cool though, huh? I'd get mine half wickedly playful and half sweet-n-sour, with extra intelligence and sarcasm to the side. Hold the clingyness, but a smidge of vulnerabilty. And I want it here it 20 minutes or less.

(in reply to SirEbonyDlite)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 11/28/2005 5:50:51 AM

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

/gasp

We are fighting?

Well darn it, why did you not say so, let me get the right boxing gloves out.

IrishMist

i advise people not to fight with Ron; He's got a mind like a Rube Goldberg creation, LMAO.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 11/28/2005 5:51:11 AM >

(in reply to IrishMist)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 11/28/2005 9:41:56 AM

Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline

Patiance, Patiance and more patience.
I consider myself VERY lucky As I was only searching for about 2 years.

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to SirEbonyDlite)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 11/28/2005 10:31:22 AM

Posts: 86
Joined: 5/31/2005
Status: offline

quote:

i advise people not to fight with Ron; He's got a mind like a Rube Goldberg creation, LMAO.

candystripper

LOL

_____________________________

~~May Bright Blessings Be Bestowed Upon You and Yours~~

(in reply to candystripper)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 11/28/2005 11:52:37 AM

Posts: 58
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline

its not a Me Me Me thing. it is a "we" thing or it should be. i read many profiles from Dominants stating what they want but whether some want to admit it or not, this is a two way street. this is reality...not fantasy. D/s or nilla, the relationship involves two adults. Maybe that is the problem...not all are adults but children playing in a fantasy world.

(in reply to SirEbonyDlite)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 11/28/2005 2:17:07 PM

Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline

quote:

Perhaps you should search for a person with whom you are compatible, rather than a category.

HA! That can't be the right answer -- it makes too much sense!

It should be a simple matter to find the "right kind of submissive/slave"; first, let's define it:

1. automatic and immediate respect given to any dominant that may consider owning her (even if he acts like a boob) because she knows it is a great honor to simply be approached
2. she knows it is about him him him
3. she doesn't expect sexual gratification -- only to be used to gratify him
4. she is a twue submissive and never a SAMmie

Sounds simple enough to me -- aren't they all like that?

_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to LadyJulieAnn)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 11/28/2005 3:52:36 PM

Posts: 20
Joined: 3/8/2005
Status: offline

Maybe I will, but for now, I'm taking a break and suspending my search. I think by doing this, it will only strengthen me. Thanks for your input!

(in reply to candystripper)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 11/29/2005 8:33:54 AM

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Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline

Would you like some cheese with that whine?

Why is hard to find a good wife? Or the right husband? Or the perfect ...........?

Life is hard. The hardness is what makes it worthwhile. It also makes finding the 'right' one ever so special. Keep trying or quit; your choice.

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to SirEbonyDlite)

RE: Why is it hard to find the right kind of submissive... - 11/29/2005 8:47:27 AM

Posts: 225
Joined: 7/18/2005
Status: offline

Hey, it's always been a matter of communication. Communication is the key.

(in reply to SirEbonyDlite)

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