RE: Where are all the 30 year olds? (Full Version)

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KneelforAnne -> RE: Where are all the 30 year olds? (9/6/2008 2:03:22 PM)

ExKat,

Thank You...it is as i suspected.  i think i am headed to the next TNG meeting to see what happens!

Thank You for Your time and thoughts!

~anne



KneelforAnne -> RE: Where are all the 30 year olds? (9/6/2008 2:06:48 PM)

DickStrong,

i've never been a wingman before, what is the job description? 

*laughs*

~anne



Guilty1974 -> RE: Where are all the 30 year olds? (9/7/2008 9:25:34 AM)

Most thirty-somethings are old enough to be in a steady relationship or marriage, and too young for a divorce. So my guess is many are too busy paying mortgages and raising kids to be on the market for new subs. So I think it's fairly logical that there are more people in their twenties or forties on the market.

(Erm, 33, living together, but open to play with other people)



Ialdabaoth -> RE: Where are all the 30 year olds? (9/7/2008 10:20:35 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: KneelforAnne
For me, relocation is almost absolutely out of the question, as i have spent many years developing the career i have now--and i am at an awesome place in my life-- with only this one part missing!

i don't really know if i am "set in my ways yet", but i want what i want...and not settling is key.  i have worked hard to become who i am, and i think that settling for less than i need will make me end up resenting Him.  (Perhaps?)


Actually, this same process is going on with most 30-year-old Doms, too. For the most part, they're going to be in the middle of their careers/mortgages/marriages/child-rearing processes and be really, really loathe to change anything.

I know I was somewhat of an exception to this rule, but as a result I just lost my 6-year-long 24/7 TPE live-in, my 3-year poly partner, and just about every aspect of my life I cared about - which, the more I think about it, is a good thing. Now I get to go back to college and perv over 18 year old freshmen girls! I finally get to legally date girls nearly half my age!

...ahem. Anyway. I guess the point is, where we are in our lives right now does somewhat skew the demographics. You may want to set your age range either higher or lower, as best fits your aesthetic. I know for me, all the mid twenty-somethings are generally in the middle of settling down with their first really long relationship, and don't want to fuck it up.



DarkPaladin -> RE: Where are all the 30 year olds? (9/7/2008 10:46:34 AM)

Dear anne,

Perhaps one way to look at is to consider what the word Master means in other context. In trade unions for example a Master Carpeneter, Master Mason etc. means someone who has gone through a progression in order to acheive a level of proficiency and competance that makes him or her a true expert on all aspects of the craft. Another example is the field of Marshall Arts, Instructors in the Japanese Martial art forms are called Sensai, which literally translates to Master Again these are individuals who have studied the art, to the very highest level and are now competent to teach it.

The problem with attaining Mastery of anything be it a craft, an art form, an academic subject what have you, is that it takes time. The type of Mastery we aspire to in our lifestyle involves a wide range of interpersonal skills that are only obtained through life experience. It is not just Mastering the physical skills of solid, safe SM play - that aspect does require practice but one can attain proficiency in those techniques in a relatively short time. It is the psychological skills of Mastery that take time to accumulate because they can only be obtained through the experience of interacting with a wider range of personality types, and developing a true insite into how the human mind works.

It will be a very rare for thing for a person to develop that kind of knowledge, wisdom and insight in just 30 years on this planet.

Regards,

Master Gregg aka DarkPaladin



candystripper -> RE: Where are all the 30 year olds? (9/7/2008 1:15:05 PM)

DomDolf, I don't think I have 'willing to relocate' checked (wouldn't bet $5 on it, but if I do, it's a mistake.)
 
However, I do speak about whether I'd be open to a long distance relationship in my profile.  I think a Dom's willingness to undertake a 'LDR' is a prerequisite to any consideration by me as to whether I'd be willing to relocate.
 
My advice is write to people who appeal to you, for whatever reason, saying something pleasant which invites a reply, and see what happens.
 
The submissive you want, and who wants you, may rethink the 'no moving' thing; or you might be willing to relocate yourself...but it should not be a search parameter -- not like intelligence, or kindness, or wit would be.
 
Hope this helps.
 
candystripper  [sm=pole.gif]



KneelforAnne -> RE: Where are all the 30 year olds? (9/7/2008 2:06:04 PM)

Guilty1974~

Thank You for Your response.  It does make sense...

~anne



KneelforAnne -> RE: Where are all the 30 year olds? (9/7/2008 2:21:42 PM)

Ialdabaoth,

Thank You for Your suggestions.  i am thinking of changing the age preference thing.  But, please let me state that is is just something i was looking for...i am not turning Doms away simply because of their age.

i was simply wondering if anyone else had encountered this issue (which i don't think i asked, really) and if anyone had any ideas.

Thank You very much for Your thoughtful answers, and good luck with school.  And watch out for those 18 year olds...some of them bite!

*laughs*

~anne



KneelforAnne -> RE: Where are all the 30 year olds? (9/7/2008 2:29:09 PM)

DarkPaladin/ Master Gregg~

Thank You for Your thoughtful response, it has certainly brought up some points that i need to ponder.  The only reason i was looking for someone in the 24-40 age range was because i felt they would have the most in common with me. 

i am not at all against someone older or younger, if W/we seem to click.  However, it has been my experience that someone much out of the above range (which i really think is quite broad) doesn't have much in common with me in things outside of D/s.   

*sighs*

Perhaps i am wrong...but i think only time will tell.

Thank You again for Your thoughtful words.

Best,

~anne



KneelforAnne -> RE: Where are all the 30 year olds? (9/7/2008 2:40:57 PM)

candystripper,

While this was addressed to DomDolf, i must say that i agree with you.  Being open to a LDR is necessary for me to start anything with someone more than an hour or so away.

i have spoken to a few Doms on here, and they will not contemplate someone over an hour or two away--so that has ended any interest on both parts.

While i think that will severely limit the search for Them, i do understand that distance is a major issue. 

Thank you for putting things like distance and age into perspective...they do not count for much when placed against kindness, understanding and wit.

Warm regards,

~anne



DomDolf -> RE: Where are all the 30 year olds? (9/7/2008 2:57:03 PM)

candystripper,

Thank you. I am expanding my search criteria as was suggested by you and one other person off list. I have placed in my profile that I am interested in someone that is willing to relocate also. We'll see how it goes. It certainly can't hurt.

The only other thing that might help in my search, or not, lol, is to do a background check, drug tests, STD testing and an IQ test. I wonder how many people I would chase off with those requirements. IQ from 110-160 and clean on the other tests, looks and a fitness freak land that would be just about perfect. Think I would have a chance?!?!?!?! LOL.

Dolf



KneelforAnne -> RE: Where are all the 30 year olds? (9/7/2008 3:00:39 PM)

DomDolf,

You must have encountered some winners in the past....*laughs*

Good luck in the future!

~anne



DomDolf -> RE: Where are all the 30 year olds? (9/7/2008 3:18:39 PM)

anne,

One complete nut job, one on her way to join that one, another may have been inbred and some paranoia on my part. Okay, just kidding. The incredible disappearing slave trick is the one that I hate most. Actually, I am a very good judge of character and haven't been completely burned. I've ben disappointed a few times, but I suspect most of us have.
Thanks for the well-wishes. I wish you the best of luck too.

Dolf






Dnomyar -> RE: Where are all the 30 year olds? (9/8/2008 9:00:11 AM)

DomDolf  an IQ from 110 to 160 is not much. If I were going by  that then I would have to dummie down. I perfer someone with a lot of common sense. As far as the fitness freak goes your young and that will pass. As you get older younger people will quit looking at your body because you are old enough to be their father.



Asmodeus -> RE: Where are all the 30 year olds? (9/8/2008 10:11:14 AM)

We recently signed a contract with a 31-year old woman. We never pursued her; she had seen us play in real life and asked to scene with us at a club. Shortly after doing so, and spending some social time with my SO, who is the same age as me, she asked to be contracted; to build a deeper, meaningful relationship.

We weren't looking for someone that young; in fact I was surprised to find out that she had a detailed profile here. I had never seen it because the bottom end of my age search range is 35. ;)

I am not a fan of the "age is just a number" mantra. As I tell my friends who chase younger girls; eventually you have to spend time talking to them. The lack of common experiences makes building a relationship very difficult. But I guess my point is this: it's one thing to search on line, it is completely different to look for something in real life. The OP's profile points out the same communication issue that the age range impacts., and is probably a decent filter if you can't meet people in real life.

But the overall question I think has already been answered; in most cases, people in their 30's have found someone and are building their life with them. There are plenty of stereotypes that deal with people in their 30's not in a committed relationship; I won't go into them here, but there is a more than small element of truth in what "common knowledge" says about unattached individuals in their mid to late 30's.



Honsoku -> RE: Where are all the 30 year olds? (9/8/2008 12:03:01 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: KneelforAnne
i have a theory that goes a little along this line. It is probably completely off base, but i am thinking that the younger crowd is here for fantasy material. The mid-twenties and the thirties are having their families, and the older crowd is divorcing and horny.

It isn't at all flattering to those that are NOT playing around, but with what i am getting...this is the theory i have developed...*sighs*

Thank You for letting me know that i am not the only one!

~anne


It probably isn't completely off base. I get the impression that a lot of males in their 40s and beyond join sites like this hoping to snag some young thing. Call it a midlife crisis, horniness, whatever.

In Florida, I would expect to find an inverted bell curve for the age distribution. A lot of people very young (just got out high school, in college) and a lot very old (popular retirement destination). I have been in Florida a few times and noticed the apparent dearth of people in their 20s to 30s.

There are plenty of people of all ages just looking for fantasy material. [8D]



KneelforAnne -> RE: Where are all the 30 year olds? (9/8/2008 7:43:16 PM)

Dnomyar,

Thank You very much for posting.  i enjoyed reading Your profile.  May i ask how long You have been at CM looking?

Thank You,

~anne



OneDom69 -> RE: Where are all the 30 year olds? (9/8/2008 7:51:59 PM)

I to, quite often wonder where this age range is....even in my area.....and i agree with what you have said in your initial post on this thread.....seems the ones i tend to more openly talk to are over 40..which is fine...just baffling sometimes because the 30 somethings in my area want either younger, or older men in there 40s..from what i have seen......or are too selective in there process to see the 30s in this area.....i know we all have our tendencies on what we want/need..which is fine....but in regards to age...i wish i knew the answers.........I guess we are in that middle ground.....not young enough..but too old for certain aspects in life experiences for some...yet for others, not old enough and not far enough in our life progressions for what some want...i dunno



KneelforAnne -> RE: Where are all the 30 year olds? (9/8/2008 7:53:37 PM)

Asmodeus,

Thank You for Your thoughts, and You do bring up many good points, both here and in Your journal. 

What stuck me is that the one You have recently found was here, and simply beyond Your normal paramaters.  Perhaps i should expand on mine.   

i have almost decided to meet with a "real life" group.  For me, for a few reasons, this is taking more courage than i have been able to muster so far...but i am...hesitantly hopeful that i can get myself to do it soon.

The stereotypes of singles in their 30's had not even crossed my mind!  Thank You for bringing that up!  *laughs*

Based on skimming Your journals i think we have had similar issues on the opposite side of the spectrum. 

You write "Articulate and intelligent wins every time" and i must agree. 

Thank You again, for Your input!

~anne



KneelforAnne -> RE: Where are all the 30 year olds? (9/8/2008 8:00:54 PM)

Honsoku,

Thank You so much for Your post! 

The "midlife crisis, horniness, whatever" can't be hidden for long, and i am thankful for that! 

As for Florida, i actually expected to find more young people here.  i am from a mid-western city that had no city/social scene to speak of, a largely disinigrating economy, and a high rate of college graduates.  i had thought the south in general, and Florida in particular would be a beacon to those in similar situations.

Unfortunately, it seems i was incorrect in this assumption.  It's too bad i love it here so much...though that doesn't sound quite right either....*laughs*

Thank You again, for Your thoughts!

~anne



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