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RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/12/2008 7:47:09 AM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
But still, the strangest, even after all these years....... "Hi, I'm a can of corn."

LOL! Finally, a use for all those can opener jokes you have been saving!

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Post #: 41

RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/12/2008 7:57:07 AM

JerryFrankster

Posts: 188
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

It was much much worse, years ago when yahoo had chat rooms.

Those were scary times, these are rather tame in comparison.
I do love however one email It wasnt a relationship demand. I have a rant about stds in my journal and he messaged me with the following:

You can only get an std if your gay or do drugs, and hpv and all that shit, was all genticaly engineered by scientists in the 70s to create a need for drugs...

I was stunned into idiot silence at this... none of the stds at all that are out there happened before 1976 according to him... and he believed it fully, He also though I believe its DHOM was Deadly and dangerous (DHOM or MO??) its.. water...

and One More Waste go to myspace, find someone on the other side of the world copy a few pics for a female profile. Im to well known and smartass filled :P

Poor deluded bastard. STDs have been around since the beginning of history. However, AIDS and crack cocaine were both invented by Ronald Reagan in the 80's.

Also, it's DHMO-- Dihydrogen Monoxide, and it kills thousands every year.

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Post #: 42

RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/12/2008 8:10:09 AM

silkenfire

Posts: 130
Joined: 9/27/2007
Status: offline

Wow, some of these are really great. I haven't gotten many, probably for not having a real piccy up attached to silkenfire anywhere online...

I think I'll experiment with that and add a picture now... see if I get interesting things...

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Post #: 43

RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/12/2008 8:17:43 AM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

Third was: Have you ever used an entire chicken during play, Id love to double fist you then shove a chicken in your cunt, then proceed to fill it with stuffing.

Just one more reason why chickens are a hard limit of mine!!!

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Post #: 44

RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/12/2008 8:21:43 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Far and away, my favorite initial email was (in paraphrase)
Beautiful Domme, I would like to get to know you. I am wanting a dominant wife, for a short while. After we are married, I will teach you to be properly submissive to me as your husband. I am sure you will be happy to learn the error of your ways and come around to the proper subservient wife's life.
Please get back to me, so we can discuss our future

Followed closely by
I was born to be your slave dog. Please put me on your leash and lead me into the life of a pet and property.
(followed by the list of things I have to do to him to keep him happy as a slave pet)

DV

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Post #: 45

RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/12/2008 8:39:02 AM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

But still, the strangest, even after all these years....... "Hi, I'm a can of corn."

Even with its simplicity, that's become my favorite. I so want to change my profile now to put up a picture of a can of corn and use that line as my entire profile text.

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Post #: 46

RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/12/2008 8:40:39 AM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

And sarbonn... I really can't blame her for trying to snatch you up and keep you all to herself.

Aw, that's really nice of you.

< Message edited by littlesarbonn -- 9/12/2008 8:41:08 AM >

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Post #: 47

RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/12/2008 9:05:28 AM

lilmissdefiant

Posts: 666
Joined: 4/17/2008
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LMFAO the best giggle this week

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Post #: 48

RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/12/2008 9:24:49 AM

hopelessfool

Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

Sorry Kitten, Apparently your ment to be caged, Im well Apparently a well liked commodity of the snuff community.

ALSO

Third was: Have you ever used an entire chicken during play, Id love to double fist you then shove a chicken in your cunt, then proceed to fill it with stuffing.

Granted, I haven't read ALL of your posts, nor have I met you, but, DAMN! Someone out there seems to really really dislike you for SOME reason. That's just kinda... well... a lot disturbing. O.o

And... Sweet mother of pearl! I may be into food and all, I mean, I'm a chef for chrissake! There's just certain things that aren't done! A turducken is one thing but what the hell!?

at least he didnt want to roast the chicken while it was still inside me, that I would find disturbing, or other wise molest the now stuffed chicken.

i guess Im weird Years of attempted seduction by pedos on yahoo gave me a thick... thick skin for being propsitioned weirdly.

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Post #: 49

RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/12/2008 9:35:06 AM

badlilthang

Posts: 357
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

But still, the strangest, even after all these years....... "Hi, I'm a can of corn."

"
Even with its simplicity, that's become my favorite. I so want to change my profile now to put up a picture of a can of corn and use that line as my entire profile text.

hehe..just a little surprise. Since in am not American, i looked up can of corn - thinking it might be one of those errrrr..corny....expressions - and whaddyaknow....:

This expression is used in American baseball to indicate a ball that's hit and easily caught in the outfield. A "Can't miss" catch is called a can of corn. I've heard it comes from old general stores that would stack canned foods high against the wall behind the cash register. When retrieving a can for a customer, the shopkeeper would softly lob the can so it could be easily caught. Corn is used instead of another food because the outfield is sometimes called the "cornfield". I don't know if I believe this explanation of origin. Any ideas? : Yes to all of the above ... except ... it's a ball hit softly, not high, right at you. Very easy to catch. :
: Also... this phrase was first used by Red Barber -- one of the most famous baseball announcers ever.

< Message edited by badlilthang -- 9/12/2008 9:36:26 AM >

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RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/12/2008 9:51:10 AM

Honsoku

Posts: 422
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline

Mine are rather pale in comparison. Had someone ask me if I was into tickle torture (okay.. no.) and another ask to be my foot slave. I guess I don't have the gender, orientation, nor profile to draw the odd ones.

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool
Third was: Have you ever used an entire chicken during play, Id love to double fist you then shove a chicken in your cunt, then proceed to fill it with stuffing.

Perhaps it was a pervert test? You know how they say that kinky is using a feather but perverted is using the whole...

(in reply to hopelessfool)

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Post #: 51

RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/12/2008 11:42:58 AM

skeletoncrew

Posts: 17
Joined: 7/5/2008
Status: offline

i have no stories to add the conversation, BUT keep 'em coming they are enlightening, if a little disturbing, sometimes...

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Post #: 52

RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/12/2008 12:01:57 PM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: badlilthang

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

But still, the strangest, even after all these years....... "Hi, I'm a can of corn."

"
Even with its simplicity, that's become my favorite. I so want to change my profile now to put up a picture of a can of corn and use that line as my entire profile text.

hehe..just a little surprise. Since in am not American, i looked up can of corn - thinking it might be one of those errrrr..corny....expressions - and whaddyaknow....:

This expression is used in American baseball to indicate a ball that's hit and easily caught in the outfield. A "Can't miss" catch is called a can of corn. I've heard it comes from old general stores that would stack canned foods high against the wall behind the cash register. When retrieving a can for a customer, the shopkeeper would softly lob the can so it could be easily caught. Corn is used instead of another food because the outfield is sometimes called the "cornfield". I don't know if I believe this explanation of origin. Any ideas? : Yes to all of the above ... except ... it's a ball hit softly, not high, right at you. Very easy to catch. :
: Also... this phrase was first used by Red Barber -- one of the most famous baseball announcers ever.

Awesome explanation!!! Unfortunately it doesn't fit Sarbonn at all... he is, by far, the most difficult catch around. Weg.

Jewel

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Post #: 53

RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/12/2008 12:33:46 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
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I'm not that difficult a catch. I've always figured the right woman would come along...in her car...in the middle of the night...kidnap me...and we'd live happily ever after. Kind of Disney-esque when you think about it.

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Post #: 54

RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/12/2008 12:37:10 PM

aravain

Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessJ77
Did he tell you he wanted to use you as a breeder slut? Damn I'm jealous. I want to be the alpha breeder slut.

Unfortunately he made it quite clear that there would be no sex in the situation.

Which is silly. I'm only looking for a BDSM sex-life, not a M/S lifestyle.

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Post #: 55

RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/12/2008 1:06:31 PM

sweetpeasmiles

Posts: 19
Joined: 4/25/2008
Status: offline

the funniest albeit strange one i had was "let me make you into a soccermom bot" proposal...

ummmm... how bout no?????

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Post #: 56

RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/12/2008 2:15:06 PM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I'm not that difficult a catch. I've always figured the right woman would come along...in her car...in the middle of the night...kidnap me...and we'd live happily ever after. Kind of Disney-esque when you think about it.

Would a truck work? And what are the chances of you being on a street corner here in Liberty? Middle of the night huh? We get up at 4:45 am... is that close enough?

I really need to watch more Disney.

Jewel

~~wanders off mumbling........

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Post #: 57

RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/12/2008 2:24:53 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
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A truck is quite fine. However, it would need to be on my corner because I'm not allowed to cross the street by myself.

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Post #: 58

RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/12/2008 2:30:10 PM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
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That's a long drive to a place I really shouldn't go. Too many ghosts in Cali. I'm afraid you'd have to meet me half way... lol

Jewel

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Post #: 59

RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/12/2008 4:06:22 PM

VivaciousSub

Posts: 446
Joined: 9/7/2008
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wideeyedgirl

Another one when I first joined. "My german sheppard Ben wants to meet you". Sadly I was naive and thought that was kinda sweet.

Wide Eyed, I understand that reaction. I'm no kid fresh from a nursery and even I read that and thought "Awww...". Then I blinked, did a double-take and thought "Auuuugh!", which is an entirely different emotion alltogether.

Maybe this guy should change Meet and Greet to Meet and Eat.

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Post #: 60