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Who's she/he? - 9/16/2008 11:14:41 AM

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Imagine a situation like this: You are walking down the street with your Dom/sub. Suddenly, you meet a friend that doesn't know anything about your relationship, and, after you say hi and all, he asks,

"Who's she/he?"(your Dom/sub)

How will you reply? And, how will you expect your Dom/sub to reply, if you're the one thats being introduced?

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RE: Who's she/he? - 9/16/2008 11:15:42 AM

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Joe, meet Jane.

But if your friends are pointing fingers and saying who is that, then you need new friends.

I don't owe anyone an explanation of my relationship. But since I don't have d/s relationships that do not include love and respect, I have no trouble introducing him. I do not go around saying this is my dominant, we are involved in an alternative sexuality relationship. The only one who has been given that is my therapist. My friends see us together, and see that I am happy with him, that he treats me with respect, and that we don't bicker. I have friends married for over 20 years who envy our relationship because we don't argue. They see the actions when we interact and they judge on what they see.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 9/16/2008 11:19:37 AM >

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RE: Who's she/he? - 9/16/2008 11:17:18 AM

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When I was out with Angel when he was still mine, I was introduced as a friend.
With Fox, I am his girlfriend, and soon his wife.
It isnt all that difficult, when in doubt they are a friend of yours. There is no reason to go into more detail then that.

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RE: Who's she/he? - 9/16/2008 11:24:10 AM

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Y/you only need to introduce S/someone as a friend, why do others need to know the inner workings of your relationships?.

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RE: Who's she/he? - 9/16/2008 11:31:45 AM

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I didn't say you need to tell them everything. If you choose to say its just a friend, its your choice. I'm just interested in what people might say. You can choose to say nothing too.

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RE: Who's she/he? - 9/16/2008 11:34:21 AM

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Friend or significant other? Its not hard.

C-D

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RE: Who's she/he? - 9/16/2008 11:36:56 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: zakkan

I didn't say you need to tell them everything. If you choose to say its just a friend, its your choice. I'm just interested in what people might say. You can choose to say nothing too.

I know :), I was just trying to elaborate. :).

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RE: Who's she/he? - 9/16/2008 11:38:13 AM

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This can get complicated when you are married, or poly. People who you know see you out with another person who is not your SO and questions can arise.

We have made the decision to tell everyone in our lives that we consider "life friends" - those people with whom we have forged long-term friendships and from whom we could not hide this from even if we wanted to. The last thing you want to do is leave a friend with the impression and burden of thinking that they have discovered a "terrible secret" by running into you.

The beautiful thing about being open with friends is then you don't have to hide your feelings, or the person you are with, and they can act in support of you when you are happy or sad.

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RE: Who's she/he? - 9/16/2008 11:41:40 AM

StayOfExecution

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Just by first name. This is So and So. If you have to give a title, you can say this is my partner so and so.

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RE: Who's she/he? - 9/16/2008 11:44:48 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: zakkan

Imagine a situation like this: You are walking down the street with your Dom/sub. Suddenly, you meet a friend that doesn't know anything about your relationship, and, after you say hi and all, he asks,

"Who's she/he?"(your Dom/sub)

How will you reply? And, how will you expect your Dom/sub to reply, if you're the one thats being introduced?

My reply would be quite simple. If my owner and I were on a first name basis, I would introduce him by his first name; if I was required to call him Sir, I would introduce him as Sir and let him make a decision if he wanted any more added; if I was required to call him Master, the same would apply as with Sir.

With my late husband, I never used his first name; never. I always referred to him as Master; in front of family, friends, co-workers...everyone. The one time I was required to actually use his name, it took me almost 5 minutes to spit it out...that was when we got married

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RE: Who's she/he? - 9/16/2008 11:57:39 AM

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I simply introduce Him by His given name, cause...that's who He is. He doesn't need to be introduced with fifteen adjectives after His name. Although, if I introduced Him as "D the Wonder Dom", He might get a kick out of it!

And for the time being I am His girlfriend, maybe more in the future :).

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RE: Who's she/he? - 9/16/2008 1:03:21 PM

RCdc

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This is *insert Darcy's name or my name*
This is *insert name of friend*

I wouldn't have to say anymore than that. A second in our company pretty much confirms we are together and how our relationship works.

the.dark.

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: Who's she/he? - 9/16/2008 1:08:01 PM

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Usually, "Oh, this is the guy who beats my ass" works well enough.

Seriously though--I introduce him as my Boyfriend and he introduces me as his Girlfriend (though, come to think of it, since we're in my town and more likely to run into people I know, I don't know that this has happened). Looking at us on the street, we just appear to be a happy, maybe overly affectionate couple--I don't think there'd be any reason for anyone to think any different.

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RE: Who's she/he? - 9/16/2008 1:14:09 PM

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I'd introduce my companion by name, and expect the same.

quote:

ORIGINAL: zakkan
If you choose to say its just a friend, its your choice.

HalloweenWhite simply said "a friend;" why did you add "just" before it?

(in reply to zakkan)

RE: Who's she/he? - 9/16/2008 1:22:52 PM

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Diurnal Vampire

You hit the nail on the head.

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RE: Who's she/he? - 9/16/2008 1:28:46 PM

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From: Phx AZ
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Its a free feeling when you do not care how others view you and you live for yourself , intro people to others how ever you both wish to be addressed .

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RE: Who's she/he? - 9/16/2008 2:31:38 PM

SlaveIndigochild

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quote:

ORIGINAL: zakkan

Imagine a situation like this: You are walking down the street with your Dom/sub. Suddenly, you meet a friend that doesn't know anything about your relationship, and, after you say hi and all, he asks,

"Who's she/he?"(your Dom/sub)

How will you reply? And, how will you expect your Dom/sub to reply, if you're the one thats being introduced?

i don't have to imagine the situation as it happens a great deal of the time as we interact with daily life. We have an agreement that He is called master at all times when we are together except when there are those present who do not share in the 'lifestyle (including the children). Then He is darling .......(first name). so i introduce Him as my darling ...............
It's simply and is what i am instructed to do.

< Message edited by SlaveIndigochild -- 9/16/2008 2:33:50 PM >

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RE: Who's she/he? - 9/16/2008 2:38:30 PM

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Now, when I meet a friend who is vanilla, they don't introduce their significant other as "This is the gal who sucks a cock like a vacuum", or "This is the guy who pile drives me every night". Why would you feel the need for anyone to know anything more than ... This is my friend, ***** or this is my girlfriend - ****.

Why is it anyone else's business?

Michael

< Message edited by MidMichCowboy -- 9/16/2008 2:39:24 PM >

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RE: Who's she/he? - 9/16/2008 2:46:38 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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quote:

ORIGINAL: zakkan

Imagine a situation like this: You are walking down the street with your Dom/sub. Suddenly, you meet a friend that doesn't know anything about your relationship, and, after you say hi and all, he asks,

"Who's she/he?"(your Dom/sub)

How will you reply? And, how will you expect your Dom/sub to reply, if you're the one thats being introduced?

I would introduce the person "This is SR's and my friend, So-and-So" (using the name we'd agreed on for situations like this). My Darling and I are knee deep in a number of communities, so it isn't unusual to have our... companions... meeting outsiders. Now -- if the person has reached a point where xhe's a lover, as well as a servant... we'd introduce hir as our 'mate'... anyone who knows us -at all- knows that we're poly.

Calla Firestorm

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 9/16/2008 2:47:18 PM >

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RE: Who's she/he? - 9/16/2008 2:51:49 PM

sambamanslilgirl

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if it was family/friends meeting Daddy and my pet, hi meet *Daddy's real name* or *pet's real name* and vice versa.

if it was me being introduced to their family/friends, hi meet *my real name* and vice versa.

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