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RE: my take on financial domination - 9/25/2008 11:41:49 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz



Does the world implode out of sheer greed and snotnosery?



Snotnosery...

Lynn...you don't mind if i borrow that one, do ya?


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(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: my take on financial domination - 9/25/2008 11:42:11 AM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz



Does the world implode out of sheer greed and snotnosery?



Snotnosery...

Lynn...you don't mind if i borrow that one, do ya?



Feel free- ^_^


_____________________________

HBIC



(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: my take on financial domination - 9/25/2008 11:47:38 AM   
cumUsethsbitch


Posts: 4
Joined: 5/26/2008
Status: offline 		yes there are way less,but there are finacial male doms on here,in fact one in area im in right now so maybe op hasnt noticed them yet?

(in reply to zakkan)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: my take on financial domination - 9/25/2008 11:53:40 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantLady

So the Domme that is into FD or asks for a tribute for her time is a prostitute or wrong?


Pretty simple to answer...if she is giving sexual services in exchange for the money, then she is a prostitute.  If all the money buys is time, then she may well be a prostitute but is not engaging in the act of prostitution at that moment since no sexual services have been given in exchange for the money.
As for whether or not she is wrong...in my opinion, yes but that is only my opinion.  I find it sad that a male submissive would think that the first way he has of proving himself worthy is by giving a female dominant money for her time alone but if that's his bag, then he can go for it.  If she thinks she is all that & the bag of chips that makes her time that valuable, then I think she is calculating and cold-hearted bitch more than a dominant seeking submission but if she can find someone who agrees, then they can go for it. 

quote:

However, the same Dom/me that asks for sexual favours from someone who is not their sub or in fact who is that is okay?

First, let's distinguish between whether or not the person is the dominant's submissive.  If he/she IS, then most likely sexual service was negotiated in the beginning.  So yes, it is O.K. for the dominant to not only ask for but demand sexual service from THEIR submissive.  Now...let's bring it back to the submissive that does not belong to the submissive who does not belong to the dominant.  The dominant can ASK for whatever they choose to ask for.  Whether they get it or not is a different manner.  In all likelihood, if it is sexual in nature, the response...I daresay...is going to be positive more often than it would be were the dominant to ask for money.  Especially if it were to be a male dominant asking for money.  The other big difference here in what you are inquiring about is the use of the word "ask".  The OP said nothing about asking...she made it clear initially and has continued to do so...that it was a REQUIREMENT for ANY submissive wishing for her to spend time with the submissive, hers or not.  There is a big difference between asking and requiring.  I might ask a submissive for sexual favors before the first minute of my time begins with her.  The worst that might happen is I'd get my face slapped.  I can almost guarantee that, were I to ask a female submissive to pay me money or give me an expensive gift or she gets none of my time, she would not even be there.  And that is not selling myself short...that is giving female submissives credit for a more rational point of view. 

quote:

here is that asking was not mentioned in the So it is only money that is the problem. Personally I think that the Dom/mes that say I am a Dom/me come suck my dick or fuck me because I am dominant and you will sexually please me are the ones that are sick and wrong.


If you are referring to the ones who do mass emailings to submissives they've never met or those who walk up to submissives they barely know in clubs and say that, then they are not sick...they may well be wrong and they may well be only HNG but the idea of two individuals coming down to the basics and pushing things out of the way and getting ...without preamble...to what is one of the basic draws between human beings is not sick.  Unless you can show me what respected source notes that approaching someone for sex without preamble is some sort of illness???


(in reply to DeviantLady)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: my take on financial domination - 9/25/2008 11:57:50 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

I've seen a few profiles of British doms that mention training for pay... does that count?


No! 

In those cases, there is a service...a definable service...being rendered in exchange for the money.  Now...we can get into all the rigamarole about training and all the nastiness that would entail but it would be a hijack of this discussion.  And besides...tis not yet time for a training/mentor blowout again.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: my take on financial domination - 9/25/2008 12:16:21 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		awww...comeon...i have a slave trainer in Fla who wants to train me up right and nice....whats so wrong with that

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: my take on financial domination - 9/25/2008 12:32:01 PM   
MistresseLotus


Posts: 443
Joined: 9/19/2008
From: (aka LotusSong)
Status: offline 		Fast Reply:

Guys.. if it upsets you so much...don't go to one!  YOU create the market!  You want it right now, your way...and no strings thus making you the prime driving force.. you DESERVE to have your neediness exploited.  In short, they are smarter than you.. they know how to control your neediness and turn a profit.

Whenever I read hreads like this one.. I think, "if you want to wipe out pro domination.. treat them like you would to make a whoremoan.. just don't pay them".

_____________________________

I leave it to the 20-somethings to do the "open-minded, total unconditional acceptance thing" for it's how THEY learn that all the things others older than they have deemed BS, are in fact BS. What a waste of a decade.

(in reply to MstrssScarlet)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: my take on financial domination - 9/25/2008 12:45:21 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistresseLotus

you DESERVE to have your neediness exploited. 



Lovely sentiment.  Do you feel the same way about the poor and the sick?

(in reply to MistresseLotus)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: my take on financial domination - 9/25/2008 1:00:57 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		~FR~ to Creative Dominant...

CD, as charismatic and sexy as you undoubtedly are, you are correct in assuming the sub in question wouldnt be within arms length by the time you finished the sentence..."I require tribute and i like shiney cars.." i, however, would glady let you borrow my Mazda with the cracked windshield and the outdated tags for the day if you needed a vehicle...better believe though that when you picked me up later, my ass would be expecting some tribute of her own...and the gas gauge better be on F.
(ducks behind couch and hopes he had a good day at work prior to reading this)

As to tribute, its completely beyond me. i feel just bad about it. If a man is married to vanilla and closeted in his need to be dominated and so insecure and afraid of his own urges that he cant rearrange his own world to include real people who think the same way...then perhaps he deserves to have his wallet lightened?
The same part of myself that doesnt think a married man who's wife is blissfully unaware of his toybag, is capable of dominating me...thinks that a man who is so afraid of his own wants and needs that he has to resort to hiding out and hiring professional services to feed his need is nothing short of sad.

Honestly, ive re read what i have written and as harsh as it sounds i tend to agree with myself (which is typical of me) and yet i feel that i may not have all the information to make this strong of a statement. If im grossly incorrect, please enlighten me.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to MistresseLotus)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: my take on financial domination - 9/25/2008 1:09:40 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistresseLotus

you DESERVE to have your neediness exploited. 



Lovely sentiment.  Do you feel the same way about the poor and the sick?



It makes better since when quoted correctly.
"You want it right now, your way...and no strings thus making you the prime driving force.. you DESERVE to have your neediness exploited."

No need to thank me. ;)

If the guy WANTS it, and he's demanding that he get exactly what he wants, when he wants it, how he likes it... well damn, she's making him happy.

Go figure.





_____________________________

HBIC



(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: my take on financial domination - 9/25/2008 1:19:28 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistresseLotus

you DESERVE to have your neediness exploited. 



Lovely sentiment.  Do you feel the same way about the poor and the sick?



It makes better since when quoted correctly.
"You want it right now, your way...and no strings thus making you the prime driving force.. you DESERVE to have your neediness exploited."

No need to thank me. ;)

If the guy WANTS it, and he's demanding that he get exactly what he wants, when he wants it, how he likes it... well damn, she's making him happy.

Go figure.



Oh, I understood her point the first time 'round.  Of course, your comments, which I've highlighted, certainly put paid to the ridiculous idea that the pro-domme is in charge, for which I thank you.

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: my take on financial domination - 9/25/2008 2:34:08 PM   
MistresseLotus


Posts: 443
Joined: 9/19/2008
From: (aka LotusSong)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistresseLotus

you DESERVE to have your neediness exploited. 



Lovely sentiment.  Do you feel the same way about the poor and the sick?

Only if they are poor and sick on purpose, seek others to play to their sickness then bitch about it.  (what a stupid struggle for a slam, girl.. try again)

_____________________________

I leave it to the 20-somethings to do the "open-minded, total unconditional acceptance thing" for it's how THEY learn that all the things others older than they have deemed BS, are in fact BS. What a waste of a decade.

(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: my take on financial domination - 9/25/2008 2:35:14 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		again, i wonder.. of the Pro Dommes who are posting.. what happens to the tributes?  because, in many cases, the money submissives give to the Doms is set aside, or spent to pay bills for them both.

(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: my take on financial domination - 9/25/2008 3:34:35 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistresseLotus

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistresseLotus

you DESERVE to have your neediness exploited. 



Lovely sentiment.  Do you feel the same way about the poor and the sick?

Only if they are poor and sick on purpose, seek others to play to their sickness then bitch about it.  (what a stupid struggle for a slam, girl.. try again)


So, what you're saying is, these guys are so bad they have to pay you to play with them.  Doesn't say much about your standards, does it?  That's the nice thing about not accepting money: there's no incentive for me to take less than the best.  And I don't.

(in reply to MistresseLotus)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: my take on financial domination - 9/25/2008 8:36:19 PM   
MistresseLotus


Posts: 443
Joined: 9/19/2008
From: (aka LotusSong)
Status: offline 		You need to re-read what I wrote and make up a more accurate assumption. Try again :) (maybe not.. you are really trying way too hard too form an obtuse insult and it's not working.)

(P.S. Where did you get the idea that I ever charged?)

< Message edited by MistresseLotus -- 9/25/2008 8:41:03 PM >

_____________________________

I leave it to the 20-somethings to do the "open-minded, total unconditional acceptance thing" for it's how THEY learn that all the things others older than they have deemed BS, are in fact BS. What a waste of a decade.

(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: my take on financial domination - 9/25/2008 10:00:57 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

again, i wonder.. of the Pro Dommes who are posting.. what happens to the tributes?  because, in many cases, the money submissives give to the Doms is set aside, or spent to pay bills for them both.


I do not usually engage in Financial domination in a pro setting. There is a set fee when I play.

However, I was discussing this with someone a couple of weeks ago. He was a trust fund baby, and wanted to play around with financial domination- he's been doing it since he started receiving the money apparently.

Some of the money would go towards sissy clothes for him- he had a thing for latex.

Some I would put in a savings account for him- somewhere where he couldn't get to it for a few years. I thought it was a good idea anyway. ^_^

He was also going to pay for me to go to financial management classes. (Ugh, necessary  I suppose. I don't have experience with money things.)

We eventually decided we weren't a good match- he was obnoxious, and a little flaky, and I do not have the time, or experience to be a financial domme.

There's nothing inherently wrong with controlling someone's money. It's what you do with it that matters. My parents are like this- all the money goes to dad, mom gets a set percentage- and the rest goes towards bills and savings. (Mostly bills at the moment I'm thinking)

As far as  "these guys are so bad they have to pay you to play with them" I think that's a crap opinion to have. For one, I play with a lot of great guys- many of them just don't WANT a full time BDSM thing, but they want to be able to fulfill their kinks every once in a while. Trust me, I'm FULLY capable of kicking the retards out- I don't know of anyone that will play with any yahoo that walks in the door.

It also looks like you assume that a pro will have the same standards for a relationship, as she does for sessions. Does that really make any sense though?

Ok ok... back on track. This is about financial dommes, not people who charge fees.


_____________________________

HBIC



(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: my take on financial domination - 9/25/2008 10:17:37 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistresseLotus

You need to re-read what I wrote and make up a more accurate assumption. Try again :) (maybe not.. you are really trying way too hard too form an obtuse insult and it's not working.)

(P.S. Where did you get the idea that I ever charged?)


It was the generic "you."  I'm sure you've heard of it?  If you took it as intended directly at you, please feel free.  I find your saying that submissive men deserve to have their neediness exploited to be offensive.  I hope you don't mind if people feel the same way about your needs.  After all, we all have them.  And there was nothing obtuse about my earlier posting, unless it is the reader who is too obtuse to understand it.  I wish you a pleasant evening.

(in reply to MistresseLotus)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: my take on financial domination - 9/25/2008 10:33:25 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline 		Why are pro-dommes and financial dommes so defensive about what they do?  If they really feel comfortable about the service they provide, why so many posts justifying the ins and outs of it?  "Oh, we're not prositutes, we take only the best, the sub doesn't control the scene, I deserve money because I'm spending my time on these guys, blah, blah, blah."  Honestly, the more I hear about pro-dommes and financial dommes, the sadder I find them.

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: my take on financial domination - 9/25/2008 10:53:05 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

Why are pro-dommes and financial dommes so defensive about what they do?  If they really feel comfortable about the service they provide, why so many posts justifying the ins and outs of it?  "Oh, we're not prositutes, we take only the best, the sub doesn't control the scene, I deserve money because I'm spending my time on these guys, blah, blah, blah."  Honestly, the more I hear about pro-dommes and financial dommes, the sadder I find them.


People ask questions, other people answer them. Then, most of the time, other people pop in and become rude, and thus, drama is born.



On a side note, I do not condone the attitude of the OP. If you are going to get ruffled about what I do, make sure it's what 'I' do.


_____________________________

HBIC



(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: my take on financial domination - 9/26/2008 4:26:23 AM   
LadyLupineNYC


Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		 Why is there defensiveness? Well, for one thing, most don’t get that there is a difference between ProDommes, financial domination, and the (dare I say it) people who don’t really understand D/s/BDSM etc but how found out that ‘there were money in them there men’. Esp the younger and more attractive they are.  As someone who was a ProDomme in a NYC House for 2 years engages in some forms of financial domination, I can emphatically say there are MAJOR differences. My boy has also sent money to girls on this site and he has an interesting take (in sum-he did it willingly, felt that there was good in it, and had no qualms about it though he prefers what he h now much better).   The defensiveness comes from the ‘you are a stupid whore’ bit (see above several posts).  As someone with two Master’s degrees and an Ivy League education, I may not know all about the world, but I do take extreme exception to being called ‘stupid’ or a ‘whore’ or some combination of the two.  Not to mention this is the worst place to try and make sweeping generalizations.  People also get defensive because, for example, when I was a Pro and was (how confusing is THIS for small minds) my slave since I was ALSO ‘lifestyle’ I would regularly get the cold shoulder but the ‘holier than thou’ NYC kink scene.  Not all of it, but some of the more ‘established’ organizations.   Anyway, I could continue to write out a massive dissertation on this topic (I used to write a lot more about it on these boards when I was still working as a Pro) about the niche they fill, the client/Domme relationship, who is ‘in charge’ etc but I really just wanted to address that one point before I got off to work.       

_____________________________

Facta, non verba gratia placenti

"I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence..."


(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 120
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