Does tribute equal being a hooker?

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Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 12/1/2005 12:00:45 PM

openmindedslave

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I had this conversation with someone the other day .They insisted that have never paid a Prodom to be her slave. i reminded him that you have taken ladies out to dinner and have bought a motel room for sex..so whats the difference between handing the cash over or gift and just paying for a date in the hopes for sex at the end.
I tried to explain to him, that st Andrews Crosses , and floggers dont grow on trees. Some Doms are very detailed and involved with creating scenaros that subs/slaves want to experience . Their time and effort has value. Many times tributes are asked for to in large toy collections ,to add to a wardrobe collection for play , or in some cases the sub desires to become her /his pay pig . So really whats wrong with tribute if everyone is happy? As long as someone tells you ahead of time ,such as in a profile they expect it ,then what is the problem???

RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 12/1/2005 12:30:23 PM

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I don't see a "problem," but in most cases I've observed a relationship with a prodomme is quite different from a noncommercial BDSM relationship.

Many seek out prodommes because of those differences. They like the idea that things are time bound and the connection is limited. Others want a more free flowing situation.

It's not an objective "better" or "worse." It's a "better for me" kind of thing.

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(in reply to openmindedslave)

RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 12/1/2005 1:08:08 PM

openmindedslave

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I agree with the idea nothing is set in stone concerning which is better than the other. Some might perfer a pro because it meets their needs possiably without the emotional ties that are more parent in a lifestyle Doms. Or there may be other factors to consider...the tribute , also may play into part of the play and the desires it creates for those involved.

(in reply to JohnWarren)

RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 12/1/2005 3:06:49 PM

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Technically speaking, asking money in exchange for sexual services is prostitution.

(in reply to openmindedslave)

RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 12/1/2005 4:22:14 PM

interestinglyme

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Openminded,
I understand the thought in your question, but i thought I'd throw this in. If in negotiating a scene with a prodomme, you mention that you want her to perform CBT, then the short answer to your question is yes, it is illegal and considered prostitution. Most states that I know of consider it the same as asking for oral sex. If a domme is paid to touch a man's penis in any way, it's prostitutuion according to law. I know that this applies in Ma, Ca, Pa, RI, Ct, Az, and I'm sure it's the same in most states if anyone wants to do the research. I've yet to find one that considers it legal.

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 12/1/2005 6:09:22 PM

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I would say it depends on what you mean by "tribute". If you are in a pay for play session, then this is definitely a business transaction. However, in a real BDSM relationship, I could definitely see financial servitude at some level being part of it. It seems odd to say that you'll let a woman tie you up and beat you, that you'll obey her orders, clean her house, etc. but would balk at giving her a few dollars or spoiling her with gifts. To me it is more about the tone of the overall relationship. Is the money part of an otherwise full-spectrum BDSM relationship? Then I'm ok with it. If it is pay to play, then no way.

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 12/1/2005 6:47:09 PM

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you always pay in the end......regardless.....which is your point.

There is, however, a difference.

A pro gets your rocks off without real intimacy, a mate will indulge you the act of knowing it is a two way satisfaction and they truly care for you. So in that you you can believe and trust it was intimate.

Unless they are just horny too and that my friend is called a one night stand.

Damn, I could use one of them about now!

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 12/1/2005 6:52:55 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: McWhips

Technically speaking, asking money in exchange for sexual services is prostitution.

I am so glad I reside in New Zealand!

When I first considered going professional with my skills I approached the local police department and asked, among other things, was pro domination considered prostitution, thus governed by our then stance of prostitution been illegal. His answer was an adamant no, you do not have sex with clients.

I also asked where I would stand did a client make a complaint of abuse against me. He replied, like all complaints, they would be obliged to investigate it as a matter of course, but they would take into account the client approached me for my services and the onus would be on him/her to prove my actions went above their point of consent.

Now that was the legal definition of prostitution (as defined by NZ law), but is pro domination a form of prostitution... well thats where the cunundrum comes...on one hand you can say..yes it is if you apply the line prostitution is the act of receiving money in exchange for a sexual service. But that can only be applied when the the domination session involves elements of sexual play. A great deal of sessions don't, thus these sessions can't be defined by the same definition of prostitution as most define it.

If a client masturbates to orgasm under my orders...is it prostitution? I haven't touched his penis? In this instance am I providing a sexual service?

Curiouser and curiouser.

Ps NZ's reformed our prostitution laws 2 years ago and it is now legal to provide sex in exchange for sexual services.

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 12/1/2005 6:55:23 PM

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I recently met a gentleman for the typical looks-good-on-paper-but-lets-see dinner date. To my surprise, he brought a gift. I opened it to find a black leather studded bra and panty set. He described it as a tribute gift. I was taken aback and thanked him for the gesture but declined to accept it. It made me feel a little hooker-ish, considering no real relationship had been established. Of course, had it been in my appropriate size it may have been a harder decision...

(And Fastlane, I am not buying it. You could get laid with three and half seconds of effort second...if that was what you wanted. HA!)

< Message edited by Sensualips -- 12/1/2005 6:57:40 PM >

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 12/1/2005 7:11:31 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

A pro gets your rocks off without real intimacy, a mate will indulge you the act of knowing it is a two way satisfaction and they truly care for you. So in that you you can believe and trust it was intimate.

Can't speak for other pro doms but I for one do actually care for most of my clients...to the point of not seeing clients who I would find it difficult to care for, no matter how much money they offered to see me again.

A successful pro domination relationship is built on trust and intimacy.

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 12/1/2005 7:41:43 PM

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While I would not have sexual contact with a client, I would not work with someone that I didn't feel a connection to, or that I disliked. Why would anyone see me or anyone on a continual basis if we didn't provide a feeling of comfortable friendship?

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 12/1/2005 7:53:18 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

While I would not have sexual contact with a client, I would not work with someone that I didn't feel a connection to, or that I disliked. Why would anyone see me or anyone on a continual basis if we didn't provide a feeling of comfortable friendship?

Exactly. The dominatrix and client must be getting something in return from the relationship, something that ultimately transcends any monetary transaction. Most clients I've seen on a regular basis became firm friends.

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 12/1/2005 10:35:19 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

While I would not have sexual contact with a client, I would not work with someone that I didn't feel a connection to, or that I disliked. Why would anyone see me or anyone on a continual basis if we didn't provide a feeling of comfortable friendship?

Exactly. The dominatrix and client must be getting something in return from the relationship, something that ultimately transcends any monetary transaction. Most clients I've seen on a regular basis became firm friends.

Makes quite a bit of sense to me. Who else would know the person better than a very good friend... who else would know which words to whisper... which gestures to use... probably makes for far better exchanges all in all.

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 12/1/2005 11:00:16 PM

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 12/1/2005 11:23:59 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave

I tried to explain to him, that st Andrews Crosses dont grow on trees.

They do if they're made of wood
(sorry, couldn't resist that one ;)

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 12/2/2005 5:02:21 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave
So really whats wrong with tribute if everyone is happy? As long as someone tells you ahead of time ,such as in a profile they expect it ,then what is the problem???

Preface that I'm NOT a Pro, and am seeking a "relationship"...not into casual encounters.

If somone offers me a "tribute," I cease communicating with them, because the next thing they're doing is "making an appointment" and telling "me" what to do to them to make them happy. That's hardly the makings for a relationship...unless you're already married to them.

K

(in reply to openmindedslave)

RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 12/2/2005 7:13:53 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

While I would not have sexual contact with a client, I would not work with someone that I didn't feel a connection to, or that I disliked. Why would anyone see me or anyone on a continual basis if we didn't provide a feeling of comfortable friendship?

A guy goes to the same brother becuase he loves the gal or he gets what he wants from her....

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn
Exactly. The dominatrix and client must be getting something in return from the relationship, something that ultimately transcends any monetary transaction. Most clients I've seen on a regular basis became firm friends.

So firm friends mean you play with them for free? OR do you still charge them?

(in reply to Jasmyn)

RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 12/2/2005 8:35:43 AM

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I should preface this reply with the fact that I have never been a ProDomme so I am speaking from a laymen's perspective when it comes to this profession.

I would question the nature of the relationship. First let me say that IN MY OPINION SM equals transactional relationships and D/s equals emotional relationships. So is it an S/M or a D/s type relationship that you are seeking out a professional? Pay for SM is like paying for a massage, you are receiving the benefit of their expertise. Pay for D/s is a bit more complicated as you are attempting (IMO) to buy the emotional connection you would feel with a Dominant, or submissive, lets not forget about the pro subs out there.

Final word, if it works for you who cares what others think? Trust and believe you are completely alone when the lights go out and you are made to answer to your soul for the mistakes of the day.

Paula
Statements made here are my own feelings and opinions, they are by no means meant to be a source for inspiration or education.

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(in reply to openmindedslave)

RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 12/21/2005 10:21:12 PM

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Women who accept money to dominate are not dominant b/c they are being topped from the bottom. The controlling element here is the money from the sub (or client) going to the PRO DOM. Put another way, whoever pays the piper calls the tune. I don't think PRO DOMS are hookers, but, they are making money by enabling a client to achieve his or her own sexual/sensual fantasy. Clearly this is very close to what hookers do.

I would have to say that one of my pet peeves of collarme.com is the overabundance of pro dommes advertising here. It would seem more appropriate for the pros to advertise on a sight called payme.com. When one cruises through generic personal ads or web sites, generally one does not run across a 25-40% ad frequency for paid escorts.

The profile of the pros on collarme.com is pretty consistent. If you see a DOM who is between the ages of 20-40, has a picture in the profile, and who is heigh weight proportionate, then the chances are over 50% the DOM is a pro.

If I had to analyse this, that's the profile of the kind of fem dom men would pay to play with. Next, regular women in this age range my not come to terms with their dominant selves until later in life, which I would say is 35 years of age and older. At this time, then, non pro DOMs may begin to actively seek a partner as they come to terms with who they really are and what they really want.

Another theory I have is that F's between 20-40 may be preoccupied with rearing children whether single or married. Hence, from what I've seen here, the propensity of real DOMs seem to be between the ages of 42-54. This is a time they have matured as women and it also is a time they are more emancipated from the demands of motherhood.

Anyway, these are my pet theories about PRO DOMS, real DOMs, collarme.com, and the breakdown of the profiles listed here as I've seen them.

--cloudboy

(in reply to openmindedslave)

RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 12/21/2005 10:35:26 PM

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the only thing i would like to point out from what i have read is the word "client" is used rather than "submissive". IMO those two are totally different.

just my .02 worth.

(in reply to cloudboy)

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