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RE: "Hard limits" - 9/26/2008 1:28:54 PM

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Our limits are those we have deemed morally, spiritually and physically harmful. In fact, I tend to think of said activities as residing outside the scope of our relationship. We don't necessarily have to experience them to know we don't want to attempt them.

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RE: "Hard limits" - 9/26/2008 3:09:52 PM

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For me, it's both: I have hard limits that became hard limits because I experienced them, and did not enjoy them (for example, some forms of age play. I do not enjoy role playing under the age of 15, nor do I enjoy anyone acting under that age to me). Others are ones I have not tried, and won't (ex: minors, animals, anything that is absolutely nonconsentual due to moral reasons, and scat, urine, vomit, and anal fisting or extreme insertions, due to personal revulsion).

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RE: "Hard limits" - 9/26/2008 6:43:52 PM

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~fast reply to the OP ~

I don't limit myself in anything that I do; nor will I allow another to do so.

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RE: "Hard limits" - 9/26/2008 8:09:52 PM

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There are another kind of hard limits, the ones imposed by outside forces. For instance, due to the fact that I suffer vertigo easily I limit inverted suspension. A diabetic would limit starvation play. Sometimes even if we would like to try something, we just can't.

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RE: "Hard limits" - 9/27/2008 12:41:46 AM

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FR

It depends, the big three are hard limits because well they are hard limits for everyone, other than that I try not to have too many however there are certain things that I state as pretty much hard limits due to non D/s relation to them, for example as an ex cutter I wouldnt want blood play involved because to me thats walking a dangerous line. I am one of those people who doesnt see D/s as a way to fix everything in my life and I really wouldnt want to transfer dependancies to a relationship because it could be rather disasterous. I dont think its a case of having to try everything to know that you wouldnt like it, common sense can dictate some of it.

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RE: "Hard limits" - 9/27/2008 1:36:58 PM

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Colouredin,

Re: cutting/SI

This for me, is something where I communicate, tell my partner where I've been and what my thinking is, and let them decide if they're up for dealing with it. It's the sort of conversation that goes, "I used to X, if you do Y, I will respond in Z bad way."

Exactly the same as the medical things, I will explain what the problems are/might be, and we decide if it's doable. Some things just aren't, but most things are just very logistically difficult (if we're going to make them safe, and I like not being dead/injured, so safe is good).

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RE: "Hard limits" - 9/27/2008 7:48:30 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: zakkan

Do you decide what you hard limits are after you experienced them, or you list certain things as hard limits simply because you are apprehensive?

For example, someone who has never experienced knife play before lists it as a hard limit. He does not know anything about knife play, but the word "knife" just scares him off. One day someone ties him down and forces him to experience it, and he finds out that its quite fun.

If your dom/sub suggests that you try out something you listed as a hard limit, but have little or no prior knowledge of, will you let him/her?

I think both. I also try to be very open minded. The things I have tried that didn't shall we say resonate with me are now hard limits.
I do not under any circumstances like or want to have electricity run through my body not even a trickle. Would I try it? Possibly if I am on tranquilizers, in a coma or my heart stops. Otherwise in a word..............no.

I have tried things because Master asked me to and found I really liked it like needle play.
My only really hard limits so far are electricity and gags.

scarlet

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RE: "Hard limits" - 9/27/2008 7:52:22 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

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can i list "BS" and games as hard limits?

(not directed at anyone, just a general question)

< Message edited by michaelOfGeorgia -- 9/27/2008 7:53:05 PM >

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RE: "Hard limits" - 9/27/2008 7:54:10 PM

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It depends, michael. Which games bug you most: board games? card games?

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RE: "Hard limits" - 9/27/2008 7:54:58 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

can i list "BS" and games as hard limits?

(not directed at anyone, just a general question)

Only if I can list 'fakes' and anyone not 'twue' on mine!

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RE: "Hard limits" - 9/27/2008 7:55:46 PM

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I have a hard limit of French Maids uniforms.
Seriously, I think Hard Limits should only be made of 2 things. Things you have tried and absolutely hated, and things you object to on some moral or ethical or other personal reason. Things like Im afraid I might not like it" dont wash for me. Having a hard limit of piercing just becasue your worried it wont be enjoyable is crap... try it and if you hate it never try it again.
Fox knew his hard limits for the most part were all going to be negotiable later, with the exception of one which is there because of negative connotations of it. THAT is a valid hard limit, I dont want bad memories flooding back and ruining our fun.

DV

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RE: "Hard limits" - 9/27/2008 8:02:01 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

It depends, michael. Which games bug you most: board games? card games?

no i mean the games some people play on sites like this one

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RE: "Hard limits" - 9/27/2008 8:03:01 PM

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I know, michael... it was an attempt at humor. Thus, the winking smiley.

*goes off muttering*

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RE: "Hard limits" - 9/27/2008 8:04:31 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

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sorry, is one of those nights...missed it entirely

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RE: "Hard limits" reply... - 9/27/2008 8:17:20 PM

DominaErotica00

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For the most part I feel it's a matter of trust, a deeper level of understanding and consensual intervention. The word apprehension does play major part of feeling uncomfortable or just down right aint gonna happen attitude about hard limits with some people for various reasons. If you are in a D/s relationship and you expressed your hard limits from the very beginning to your top partner but at some point He/She brings it up again to push your boundaries, there could be a small chance that you just "might" enjoy it. Or your hard limit boundaries are pushed by the top and that only verified why it's a hard limit of yours in the first place. Sometimes respect is respect depending on the relationship dynamics ...As the poster Zakkan said, just by saying the word knife in a scenario with someone that does not care for that particular type of play would freak them out. But I think if done in a way that may be more erotic and tantilizing it might make that person change there mind. Some people have a connection and emotion with a person that they never felt with someone else and that brings out alot in them sometimes doing scenes that they never though they would do. And that comes from a special place from within.........I know I don't have to experience giving a brown shower, roman showers and blood play to name a few to know for a "fact" that it's not what I am into or have a fetish to give...it's just not going to happen! Now those are major hard limits for Me.

< Message edited by DominaErotica00 -- 9/27/2008 8:26:04 PM >

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RE: "Hard limits" reply... - 9/27/2008 8:18:18 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

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i don't trust people very much.

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RE: "Hard limits" reply... - 9/28/2008 9:35:28 AM

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Hard limits are there for a good reason. And that is too keep that person that set them safe from what they dont want or wont do!

Hard limits are not to be explored or pushed. Thats why there are soft limits for that purpose.

Hard limits are the same as safe words dont go past it no matter what. Trust must always be kept between Dom/sub or Master/slave! just my opinion of course.

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RE: "Hard limits" reply... - 9/28/2008 9:41:35 AM

michaelOfGeorgia

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don't undersatnd humans...never did

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RE: "Hard limits" reply... - 9/28/2008 10:41:31 AM

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There are some things I don't need to try to know I want nothing to do with. In some cases, it's due to an innate distastefulness, in others, I don't like what I've read. On the other hand, the can be the matter of having had a horrific experience in the past, like owning a Volkswagon or Chrysler. In all cases, by establishing things I can't tolerate, I can free a top/dom to explore whatever else amuses her with total abandon.

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RE: "Hard limits" - 9/28/2008 11:08:02 AM

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As a rule, I don't like to have hard limits. I've learned in the past that things I thought I would never do, I have actually done, and liked, or didn't like but took pleasure in the fact that I had been pleasing to my dom. I have no desire to have my fears, turn-offs or apprehensions respected, on the contrary, I want them pushed.

Having said that, there are about two things I know I would never allow. One of them involves having someone else's religious beliefs forced upon me--ie--being made to observe the guidelines of someone's religion. The other one is pretty gross, and very brown.

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