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RE: 1 Dom + 1 Slave = 1 Couple - 10/6/2008 8:02:59 AM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

oh no..heaven forbid a sub having a profile that isnt a couples profile...

for your info....couples can have atleast 3 profiles... 1 for the dom, 1 for the sub, 1 together. who bloody cares what is said on their profiles.....

a sub is told what to do....the sub does it because she is submissive. unless it isnt safe and sane then there is no worries. so if the sub is told to find another sub ON THEIR OWN PROFILE....why the hell do you cry about it??? its NOT YOUR LIFE ITS THEIR LIFE!!!!

now if the sub is told to do something by someone other than their dom, then that definately is wrong. the sub serves the dom and nodoby else.
unless you have given up ALL rights as a human being.

< Message edited by faerytattoodgirl -- 10/6/2008 8:03:15 AM >

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Post #: 41

RE: 1 Dom + 1 Slave = 1 Couple - 10/6/2008 8:03:50 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

ditto...... nice to see you posting again John..

Always nice to be seen, KoM. ;) *LOL*

John

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(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 42

RE: 1 Dom + 1 Slave = 1 Couple - 10/6/2008 8:05:38 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

What you're advocating is a "one true way" for writing profiles.... and I advocate personal choice. I'm comfortable with my position.

I am comfortable of my position as well. I am not against people having judgements of others... but I do have an issue of people making absolutes of others in making their judgements.. such as the OP did with his post. I think the manner of the OP shows more about him as a person than the judgement he makes.

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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Post #: 43

RE: 1 Dom + 1 Slave = 1 Couple - 10/6/2008 8:11:04 AM

peppermint

Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

quote:

ORIGINAL: HiddenHome

I get so sick and tired of reading profiles of females to find that they are actually couples. The female is simply a pimp for her master! I don't blame the female, but the spineless owner that can't find his own strange stuff!!!!!!!!!!!

Better to have some kind of profile than be like you and have nothing at all. What name do you give those who have nothing at all?? Ghost??

Well, I probably posted my last post, less than half an hour before you peppermint, and they had a profile then. They have either shut it down completely, or hidden it.

the.dark.

Hmmmmm....perhaps the OP just wanted to make waves in the forum...then silently disappear.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 44

RE: 1 Dom + 1 Slave = 1 Couple - 10/6/2008 8:17:19 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild

HiddenHome, yet isn't it also part of the dynamic for the slave to doing the things which makes their dom's life easier? What if the Dom hasn't the time nor the patience to seek a third so they have the slave/subbie do that task? What if the subbie requested to do the searching and thus the initial screening before approaching her Dom with potential second, third or fourth?. The possibilities are numerous to why a female sub is seeking a third for her owner. If you don't like it, move on. Consider this, you pimp your profile and qualities to attract a dom or subbie, depending upon what you're looking for, so sounds like kettle calling the pot black in my eyes.

RedMagic1 - I used the term subbies too so guess we're both in for a spanking! *grins*

*volunteers to spank ya both, just cause I'm cool like that*

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Post #: 45

RE: 1 Dom + 1 Slave = 1 Couple - 10/6/2008 8:17:43 AM

Twicehappy2x

Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline

You know, Scooter and Jewel wife have a couples profile, but there is no room to add me.

They also have individual profiles like i do so we each have our own email and posting capability.

Why does that upset you? Read the profiles if they are a couple just move on.

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(in reply to HiddenHome)

Post #: 46

RE: 1 Dom + 1 Slave = 1 Couple - 10/6/2008 8:38:47 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
I agree that know one has to abide by anyone’s wishes. That doesn’t negate the valid observation in the OP whether you liked the tone in which it was presented or not.

Dude… you have a 1,200 word profile espousing who you are and what you want. I don’t have to be psychic to see how your profile makes it more convenient for someone to know you, which is exactly what the OP is about. He says, we should say who you are as allowed by the CollarMe category options. It seems hypocritical to me to see you oppose that when you have bullets and numbered lists of what is or isn’t acceptable to you. Think about it. That there is convenient, I don’t care who you are!

Yeah, but RS - John isn't moaning about shit, specifically on a message board for discussions - in his first posts. OMG - why does everything have to be so whiney and moaning all the fricking time. It's not actual life. You block/delete/ignore - these options are viable and easy. More whiney people who can't get their own way or run the site like they want just shouts 'boring' to me.
Instead of moaning, get fucking active and off your butts. If its so bad, create your own site and filter out the shit you don't like and run it the way you want. Start a munch. Get out and meet people.
Mind you, if all people do is moan and whine, I can see why they have no ability to make friends. Sheesh.

Yeah - that was me - ranting and whining. I think that is now - 4 lost friends off the radar. See how it works?

the.dark.

Saying something is valid doesn’t mean it applies to me, which was my contention with John’s comment/question about it being convenient for me. It makes no bones to me one way one way or the other. I am off my butt. I built, ran, and hosted BDSM society web sites since the 90s and recently www.sarasotasociety.com as well as hosted the tampamunch.org for free from 2000 through 2005. My money is where my mouth is and I have been an active philanthropist and spokesman’s for the alt communities since my teens.

I ran more than one forum in my day. I know that CM does affect real life and people’s social life. The party at Cjan’s was all CM people that flew in and met for the first time. I am currently dating someone in Daytona I met here on CollarMe because she noticed me on her radar and contacted me. I can understand why the OP might wish things ran more smoothly.

I am not really tweeked about the OP one way or the other but I stepped off into it didn’t I? Hell, I didn’t even bash him for saying “find their own strange stuff” which doesn’t apply to many that seek poly families. I just looked at the validity of his comment because his obviously frustrated tone does not negate that it is a valid observation.

As far as voicing an opinion about using the limited categories here, CollarMe only had “Top / bottom” when it first started! At other free sites they list sadist, masochist, sadomasochist, Master, Mistress, slave, Dom, sub, switch, vanilla and etc. You can even be in an “open relationship” as well as poly and many other variations. I don’t whine about it but perhaps we all should? An upgrade around here sure woudln’t hurt.

I have helped design, run and moderate forums, one with 80k members and 3-5k online at a time. I know that the membership has an influence and speaking your mind about something flawed is what improves the forums, whether we like the tone of it or not.

So to the OP and your other comments, this is a dating site. Maybe if we all said something about the antiquated structure of the categories, CollarMe might do something since their competition already has. One reply mentions not being able to list as a couple because of the limited description.

I posted to this thread because the OP made me wonder what he must have faced to inspire such comments. It occurred to me that most of the members don’t even know there is forum! So why would someone that is part of a couple, have a separate “solo” account on a dating site so they end up on his radar?

…after all, you use a couple’s profile.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz
How do you know they weren't single when they made the profile?

You can change a single’s profile to a couple. Both parties that came together can retain their original screen names and acknowledge their partner in the profile options.

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Post #: 47

RE: 1 Dom + 1 Slave = 1 Couple - 10/6/2008 9:00:23 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Saying something is valid doesn’t mean it applies to me, which was my contention with John’s comment/question about it being convenient for me. It makes no bones to me one way one way or the other.

Then I suppose we can ignore the rest of your lengthy post as simply philosophical whistfulness. And you're right, everyone *could* do what you (and the OP) want with their profiles. Just as you and the OP *could* stop whining about the fact that they don't.

I'm certain that the former will not happen. All that remains is to determine if the same is true of the latter.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

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(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 48

RE: 1 Dom + 1 Slave = 1 Couple - 10/6/2008 9:06:34 AM

mangle

Posts: 19
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

just some alt math that comes to mind

1 master + 3 slaves = family

Nonetheless, I agree and feel that if you are the fem half of a couple seeking additional partners, you should have a profile that is listed a “couple” not a single fem.

And what about those who first started out as single, found someone, kept their original profile, and then added that they were looking for more? Should they change their whole profile just to satisfy a few who feel that it is wrong for them to keep their old one?

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Post #: 49

RE: 1 Dom + 1 Slave = 1 Couple - 10/6/2008 9:11:30 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
Saying something is valid doesn’t mean it applies to me, which was my contention with John’s comment/question about it being convenient for me. It makes no bones to me one way one way or the other. I am off my butt. I built, ran, and hosted BDSM society web sites since the 90s and recently www.sarasotasociety.com as well as hosted the tampamunch.org for free from 2000 through 2005. My money is where my mouth is and I have been an active philanthropist and spokesman’s for the alt communities since my teens.

I ran more than one forum in my day. I know that CM does affect real life and people’s social life. The party at Cjan’s was all CM people that flew in and met for the first time. I am currently dating someone in Daytona I met here on CollarMe because she noticed me on her radar and contacted me. I can understand why the OP might wish things ran more smoothly.

My point about getting involved was not to you, but to the OP.

quote:

I am not really tweeked about the OP one way or the other but I stepped off into it didn’t I? Hell, I didn’t even bash him for saying “find their own strange stuff” which doesn’t apply to many that seek poly families. I just looked at the validity of his comment because his obviously frustrated tone does not negate that it is a valid observation.

I'm not tweeked about the OP either but the attitude. Where is he valid? He insinuated that all s-types who look for a third are pimps. That the owners are spineless. And that he doesn't like reading a s-types profile to see shes already owned(basic g/jist). And yet the irony is that his profile on the forum side, did not indicate that he is half of a couple - the name doesn't and nor did the photograph. So basically, we(generic) would waste our time visiting their profile(which they have since pulled for whatever reason) on the otherside unless we(generic) are poly. Can you not see the irony in that? That they are almost the very thing they are bemoaning? A misleading profile?

quote:

As far as voicing an opinion about using the limited categories here, CollarMe only had “Top / bottom” when it first started! At other free sites they list sadist, masochist, sadomasochist, Master, Mistress, slave, Dom, sub, switch, vanilla and etc. You can even be in an “open relationship” as well as poly and many other variations. I don’t whine about it but perhaps we all should? An upgrade around here sure woudln’t hurt.

And I for one would like to see the top/bottom option back! And this site is still changing and expanding and altering and at some point, I expect they will put it up there. But whining and name calling doesn't help. Optimistic and positive suggestions do.

quote:

I have helped design, run and moderate forums, one with 80k members and 3-5k online at a time. I know that the membership has an influence and speaking your mind about something flawed is what improves the forums, whether we like the tone of it or not.

Positive reinforcement and input always outshines whining name calling any day. It's not getting positive attention if all you can do is slander procuring s-types as pimps.

quote:

So to the OP and your other comments, this is a dating site. Maybe if we all said something about the antiquated structure of the categories, CollarMe might do something since their competition already has. One reply mentions not being able to list as a couple because of the limited description.

It is a free site. Do not like it? Bubbye. When they start charging, maybe you can have some input. Probably if you contacted the site and gave positive suggestions and offer help and volunteer you can be the change. Being what you want and mot what are moaning about in the first place also helps! There is no real competetion to collarme.

quote:

I posted to this thread because the OP made me wonder what he must have faced to inspire such comments. It occurred to me that most of the members don’t even know there is forum! So why would someone that is part of a couple, have a separate “solo” account on a dating site so they end up on his radar?

What inspired me to write was the second guessing and plain old assumptions that the dominants must be whores and the s-types pimping. It was the irony of their own profile being exactly what they were moaning about! Many people do not find the forum until later on. We aren't actively seeking so I cannot speak for others - but there are regulars on here that have seperate profiles rather than joint ones, It is personal choice. Not misrepresentation.

quote:

You can change a single’s profile to a couple. Both parties that came together can retain their original screen names and acknowledge their partner in the profile options.

You can change it to a couples profile, but you cannot alter the name - which can be an issue to people - again personal choice. You can't just 'come together' and merge the profiles. You have to make a new one. For someone who may have been here from the start, or for many years, that could be an issue too.

the.dark.

_____________________________

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(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 50

RE: 1 Dom + 1 Slave = 1 Couple - 10/6/2008 9:46:32 AM

IvyMorgan

Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

just some alt math that comes to mind

1 master + 3 slaves = family

Nonetheless, I agree and feel that if you are the fem half of a couple seeking additional partners, you should have a profile that is listed a “couple” not a single fem.

How about...

4 doms + 1 Ivy = Happyness.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 51

RE: 1 Dom + 1 Slave = 1 Couple - 10/6/2008 9:47:57 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IvyMorgan

4 doms + 1 Ivy = Happyness.

Oh, you are a glutton for punishment. ;)

John

_____________________________

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Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to IvyMorgan)

Post #: 52

RE: 1 Dom + 1 Slave = 1 Couple - 10/6/2008 10:04:51 AM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

I'm not tweeked about the OP either but the attitude. Where is he valid? He insinuated that all s-types who look for a third are pimps. That the owners are spineless. And that he doesn't like reading a s-types profile to see shes already owned(basic g/jist). And yet the irony is that his profile on the forum side, did not indicate that he is half of a couple - the name doesn't and nor did the photograph. So basically, we(generic) would waste our time visiting their profile(which they have since pulled for whatever reason) on the otherside unless we(generic) are poly. Can you not see the irony in that? That they are almost the very thing they are bemoaning? A misleading profile?

the.dark.

As an observation and me being an s-type, I guess that also makes me a pimp! Yet I do openly state in my profile I am poly oriented though single at the moment. Yet I will eventually be part of a D/s relationship and even then I will be actively seeking a third. I just can't see the big deal the OP has, I know for a fact that if my Sir requested that I actively seek a third, I'd be happy to do so, if it makes him happy then I am happy. On the same vein, if for whatever a person hasn't kept their profile updated every single minute, it's no major catastrophe in my eyes. Though for the OP, YMMV.

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(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 53

RE: 1 Dom + 1 Slave = 1 Couple - 10/6/2008 10:05:14 AM

IvyMorgan

Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

quote:

ORIGINAL: IvyMorgan

4 doms + 1 Ivy = Happyness.

Oh, you are a glutton for punishment. ;)

John

*smiles*

Who me?

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 54

RE: 1 Dom + 1 Slave = 1 Couple - 10/6/2008 10:56:16 AM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

just some alt math that comes to mind

1 master + 3 slaves = family

Nonetheless, I agree and feel that if you are the fem half of a couple seeking additional partners, you should have a profile that is listed a “couple” not a single fem.

My issue with this is speaking as someone who is -also- in a 'couple', but who, through experience, has decided, with my companion, to keep separate, active profiles rather than a "couple" profile... my Darling and I have -had- a "couple" profile on here, but discovered that even people who were both comfortable with, and looking -for- poly situations don't look under the "couples" listings -- they look for individuals who state that they're 'poly inclined'.

On top of that, my Darling and I are -not- cookie-cutter copies of one another. We have different opinions on a variety of topics, respond to both people and situations in completely different manners, and neither one of us appreciates the idea that, when posting from a 'couples' profile, there is the sense that the person who is speaking is somehow speaking for -both- people. I don't speak for her, and she doesn't speak for me. Yes, I have a decade of knowing how she thinks and responds most of the time... but that doesn't mean that I have the right to make it sound like something I believe is also, automatically, her opinion just because she and I are companions.

Now, I'm clear in my profile that I live with my Darling, and she is clear in hers that she lives with me, as well. Tough cookies to the person who doesn't like that we're two women who happen to share a life and a house, but who are individuals in our own right. If someone can't take the time to read a profile and separate the people in relationships from the people who aren't in relationships, then I don't have time to waste on hir in any case.

Calla Firestorm

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 10/6/2008 10:57:58 AM >

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(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 55

RE: 1 Dom + 1 Slave = 1 Couple - 10/6/2008 11:06:11 AM

BOUNTYHUNTER

Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline

IN my humble opinion 1 DOM + 1 slave isn't a couple.its an owner with property now One husband+one wife makes a couple..OR one man +one girl friend then there is a couple, sorry folks I just can't see a slave as part of a couple... Ours has their own profiles which all so states that they belong to us...britches and aliBH....

< Message edited by BOUNTYHUNTER -- 10/6/2008 11:10:12 AM >

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Post #: 56

RE: 1 Dom + 1 Slave = 1 Couple - 10/6/2008 11:17:40 AM

susie

Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

So to the OP and your other comments, this is a dating site. Maybe if we all said something about the antiquated structure of the categories, CollarMe might do something since their competition already has. One reply mentions not being able to list as a couple because of the limited description.

I posted to this thread because the OP made me wonder what he must have faced to inspire such comments. It occurred to me that most of the members don’t even know there is forum! So why would someone that is part of a couple, have a separate “solo” account on a dating site so they end up on his radar?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You might be surprised to know that many people here do not use this as a dating site. I don't and never have. I originally joined collarme to read the forums and to chat to other like minded people.

Not everyone here is looking for someone.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 57

RE: 1 Dom + 1 Slave = 1 Couple - 10/6/2008 11:44:53 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Has it occurred to anyone that there might be particular drawbacks to listing as a couple, even if you're part of one? Believe it or not, there are.

Yes, you can change your status from single to couple without changing your profile name. In fact, I did it for a while. Even though My profile still very clearly said "Dominant," you wouldn't believe the crap I would get in My mail that was constantly saying that implied My husband was My master and some very insulting and disgusting things. It got very old very quickly. In My opinion, it was worse than the crap than I got before. So I changed it back.

In My profile, I very clearly state My poly family status. If a person is cruising profiles and too lazy to actually read them, that's their own fault.

_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to susie)

Post #: 58

RE: 1 Dom + 1 Slave = 1 Couple - 10/6/2008 11:51:28 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

And god forbid they have to email and ask any sort of intelligent question.

Oh wow, I just realized I hadn't looked at my own profile in ages. I am such a LIAR!! I turned 46 this year and didn't change it!

Bad LeeAnn, bad bad BAD!!

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 10/6/2008 11:53:23 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 59

RE: 1 Dom + 1 Slave = 1 Couple - 10/6/2008 11:55:02 AM

SlaveIndigochild

Posts: 272
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HiddenHome

If they are doing it simply because they want to that is fine. If they are doing it because they have to, it is not. And the difference is, I am looking for what I want, not what someone else wants.

What gives you th right to intervene between a dominant and the submissive or the master and the slave?
i do things because my Master wants it and therefore i have to and would resent you telling me that is not right.

< Message edited by SlaveIndigochild -- 10/6/2008 11:57:01 AM >

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Post #: 60

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