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RE: Removing a profile picture - 10/9/2008 2:40:03 PM

allthatjaz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz
I get so many mails saying that they love the way my mind works but they have obviously only bothered to read how my mind works once they have seen what I look like?

Okay, now that your new pics are up, let me give you a little translation:

"I love how your mind works" means "thank you for putting up those pics that I can wank off to and imagine what it feels like to do you face down on the bed".

Cali

Sure your right but we have to face the fact that there really are some genuine people on here.

So the wanky men can have fun and Im glad I have given them a little bit of pleassure!

Love your picture by the way.

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RE: Removing a profile picture - 10/9/2008 4:34:25 PM

RedMagic1

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Uh, allthatjaz? Cali's pic is a CollarMe icon based on a Japanese bondage model. Now I've seen real pics of Cali, and she's one happenin babe... but she's Caucasian, so (sob) not my type.

And, NihilusZero, regardless of your intellectual position, some of the hottest women on the site don't post a pic, and/or don't post their weight. One great advantage of internet dating for women -- a benefit over real life -- is that they can see who is attracted first to what they say, and only second to how they look.

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
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RE: Removing a profile picture - 10/9/2008 5:26:33 PM

lronitulstahp

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When i was looking, i had profile pics up, and i would get emails from subs all the time asking me to be their Mistress/Goddess...and Doms telling me how compatable we were when NONE of our interests were alike in. any. way. at. all.

Now, i hardly get emails from anyone other than actual friends.

~photogenic slut

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RE: Removing a profile picture - 10/9/2008 5:27:07 PM

sujuguete

Posts: 263
Joined: 7/3/2008
From: DC metro area
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero
Also concerning profiles, this day in age there is basically no excuse not to have an image. If you don't have a camera you surely must have a webcam. If you don't have a webcam, surely you have a cellphone with a camera. If you don't have a cell with a cam, surely you have at least a cheap scanner and a film picture of you somewhere.

I do have a camera, a webcam, and a cell phone with a camera. I also have two teenagers who surf the 'net almost daily. There is no way in hell I want them to come across a picture of Mom on this site! If I feel I want to get to know someone better, and he asks for a picture, I will send him one. But I won't post one on my profile.

quote:

Why should I not want to know what someone looks like if I'm determining my interest in them? If we are going to play the 'superficiality' game and make presumptions about people who want pictures of people they're talking to as being just in it for mundane sexual reasons then I can use the same (poor) logic to to suggest that those who don't include images refuse to precisely because they are worried about being dismissed from that same group of people who they decry as being one-dimensional.

I consider it to be superficial if looks are the primary determining factor in whether or not one wants to communicate with someone on this site. However, I also believe one can form an emotional bond with someone through written communication, but not desire to pursue a face-to-face relationship because the physical attraction just isn't there. While I don't feel looks are of the utmost importance, they are part of the package.

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RE: Removing a profile picture - 10/9/2008 5:28:37 PM

sujuguete

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quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

You're better off without a picture, it'll give you a reasonable (though not guaranteed) security that whoever contacts you can read.

I love this!!

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RE: Removing a profile picture - 10/9/2008 5:53:48 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WestBaySlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Well....considering I get guys that say, "I love your profile and everything it implies" when my profile has 5 words, "Just here for the forums". I would say the wankers look at the pictures and don't read the profile at all.

Oh, you're just playing hard to get.

Yeah, they take it to mean "Just here for the forums.....unless you think you're the exception"

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RE: Removing a profile picture - 10/9/2008 6:14:02 PM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp
When i was looking, i had profile pics up, and i would get emails from subs all the time asking me to be their Mistress/Goddess

That is probably because you have the voice of an angel.

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
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Post #: 27

RE: Removing a profile picture - 10/9/2008 6:20:59 PM

Huntertn

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A lot of us are visual...but I do read the full profiles...

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RE: Removing a profile picture - 10/9/2008 8:07:14 PM

NihilusZero

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

And, NihilusZero, regardless of your intellectual position, some of the hottest women on the site don't post a pic, and/or don't post their weight. One great advantage of internet dating for women -- a benefit over real life -- is that they can see who is attracted first to what they say, and only second to how they look.

If you reread over my comment, that's not my "intellectual position". I was offering up the example of that psychoanalysis as a way of showing how flawed the logic is of calling 'picture seekers' purely superficial.

I still would feel strange about women who consider themselves attractive who feel the need to refuse to include an image to "see who is attracted first to what they say, and only second to how they look". I'm sure there are plenty of attractive women so bogged down by their incredible physical allure that feel so hopelessly oppressed by the mobs of man flesh that they must play these sort of games in order to assure themselves they will be appreciated intellectually as well...but it seems to me those actually assured of their mental worth wouldn't need some covert visual plan to ensure it. My couple of pennies.

Surely, a suitor could not be interested both in her looks and her personality at once! However, it's thoroughly chic to espouse the "it's what's inside that matters most!" mentality that, as we've seen here, seems to forsake any sexual attraction...so I don't find it surprising that this example might be positively supported by numbers of others.

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RE: Removing a profile picture - 10/9/2008 8:12:27 PM

KatyLied

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quote:

"Just here for the forums.....unless you think you're the exception"

Oops, that sort of sounds like me.

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RE: Removing a profile picture - 10/9/2008 8:13:33 PM

NihilusZero

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sujuguete

I do have a camera, a webcam, and a cell phone with a camera. I also have two teenagers who surf the 'net almost daily. There is no way in hell I want them to come across a picture of Mom on this site! If I feel I want to get to know someone better, and he asks for a picture, I will send him one. But I won't post one on my profile.

Perfectly fair. I had not thought of practical reasons such as this...which make sense. I'm sure there are other examples (having actually been stalked at some point, or being in a job that would frown upon these activities for instance).

quote:

ORIGINAL: sujuguete

I consider it to be superficial if looks are the primary determining factor in whether or not one wants to communicate with someone on this site.

If we would support everyone seeking out whatever kink they desire (so long as they are honest about it)...even ones where no connection beyond the 'professional' is needed...why should we look down upon the desire of someone to have a partner who fits their physical likes?

quote:

ORIGINAL: sujuguete

However, I also believe one can form an emotional bond with someone through written communication, but not desire to pursue a face-to-face relationship because the physical attraction just isn't there. While I don't feel looks are of the utmost importance, they are part of the package.

Is that really just it? Meaning...it's "superficial" if the physical is the first filter used to choose between partners...but if it's used as the third or fourth filter, it's suddenly more noble?

Isn't it just another sieve by which to isolate those we consider more ideal from those we don't? What difference does it really make in the end which order we place the filters in?

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 10/9/2008 8:17:17 PM >

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RE: Removing a profile picture - 10/9/2008 8:30:49 PM

marieToo

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GR:

Ok I know this is whacked, but when I'm talking to someone, I actually don't want to see a picture in the beginning, because I don't want to be swayed in either direction based upon someone's looks. Not saying there's anything wrong with those who want to see first, I mean, I'm not going to pretend that certain looks don't repulse me, or that attraction doesn't matter, but I've been attracted to all sorts of men of various sizes and shapes, and a good chemistry can overcome a lot of physical stuff. I dont want to rule someone out based on a pic. Lots of times, an average or below average looking person, can become very sexy based on who they are and what the chemistry feels like. And I'm not exactly a desperate hag myself. But I'd rather fuck their insides anymore, I don't care much about the shell. Hygiene and teeth are important though.

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RE: Removing a profile picture - 10/9/2008 9:12:36 PM

NihilusZero

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The below isn't means to be annoying at all (please don't take it as such). I'm actually genuinely curious about the thought process.

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo
I dont want to rule someone out based on a pic.

But you just finished saying:

quote:

I've been attracted to all sorts of men of various sizes and shapes, and a good chemistry can overcome a lot of physical stuff.

So wouldn't you already know ahead of time that you'd be open to a visual variety with or without the picture coming first? Why the need to play a sort of blindfold game on yourself in order to assure that you're being "fair"?

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I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
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RE: Removing a profile picture - 10/9/2008 9:16:24 PM

SailingBum

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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

quote:

ORIGINAL: tweedydaddy

If your emails are often predominantly about how good you look, filter them out, you've identified the shallow ones first. lucky you.

Oh I know! especially the ones that immediately ask for a mug shot.

To the OP you have a shot of just your tits and your complaing about the quality of mail??? What the fuck over!!! You must be a natural blonde duh. me think you protest to much. Hands you a couple clues.

BadOne

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RE: Removing a profile picture - 10/9/2008 9:39:10 PM

marieToo

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I think it will be more clear if I say it like this: I have grown attracted to men of various shapes and sizes, before knowing what they looked like. In other cases I have seen their looks first, not been impressed by their appearance, and then they grew on me and became more attractive to me based on the chemistry and personality.

quote:

So wouldn't you already know ahead of time that you'd be open to a visual variety with or without the picture coming first?

Logically, yes. But it can still bias me (in either direction), if I don't keep an open mind.

quote:

Why the need to play a sort of blindfold game on yourself in order to assure that you're being "fair"?

I guess that's not far off from what I've stated, but it's more like I have a preference to feel the person with my other senses before seeing them. What it boils down to is that the visual for me, is a distraction of sorts that can distort my perception of who the person is on the inside.

< Message edited by marieToo -- 10/9/2008 9:42:57 PM >

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RE: Removing a profile picture - 10/10/2008 3:07:01 AM

sujuguete

Posts: 263
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: sujuguete

I consider it to be superficial if looks are the primary determining factor in whether or not one wants to communicate with someone on this site.

If we would support everyone seeking out whatever kink they desire (so long as they are honest about it)...even ones where no connection beyond the 'professional' is needed...why should we look down upon the desire of someone to have a partner who fits their physical likes?

I don't look down upon the desire to have a partner who is physically attractive. I myself would prefer a partner who is physically attractive to me. But as marie pointed out, even someone who initially doesn't match the "ideal" one has in mind may, in time, become more attractive because of the emotional/mental connections formed.

I don't understand the mindset of those who use looks as the primary consideration of whether or not to pursue a relationship. Looks can fade as the years go by, and if there is little else to keep the things vibrant, you may be left with an empty, unfulfilling relationship.

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: sujuguete

However, I also believe one can form an emotional bond with someone through written communication, but not desire to pursue a face-to-face relationship because the physical attraction just isn't there. While I don't feel looks are of the utmost importance, they are part of the package.

Is that really just it? Meaning...it's "superficial" if the physical is the first filter used to choose between partners...but if it's used as the third or fourth filter, it's suddenly more noble?

Isn't it just another sieve by which to isolate those we consider more ideal from those we don't? What difference does it really make in the end which order we place the filters in?

As I said above, looks can fade over time. For me, that is a reason not to have looks be the first criteria used in the sieve. But for someone else? If physical attraction is absolutely necessary to have a fulfilling, successful relationship, it would make sense that looks are a deal-breaker. I just wonder how they will feel about it when they are 75 or 80 years old.

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RE: Removing a profile picture - 10/10/2008 3:09:41 AM

lronitulstahp

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp
When i was looking, i had profile pics up, and i would get emails from subs all the time asking me to be their Mistress/Goddess

That is probably because you have the voice of an angel.

You'd better be at least trying to sneak a peek down my shirt when You say that....otherwise, what's the use?

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RE: Removing a profile picture - 10/10/2008 4:38:53 AM

MIVixen

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I'd like to explain one reason I expect to see pictures (and of course, this is my stance, I'm not saying it's right for anyone else). It's not just the picture(s) of the person themself, it's also the surroundings / settings. That can tell you a lot about a person - we've all seen those online pictures of women in their undies with a baby laying on the bed, or reflected in a mirror! These are clues that an intuitive person can use to guage compatibility. As a personal example, I one time received a picture from someone who was unshaven, dressed in camo, and holding up a turkey he had just shot! Now, since I prefer professional types, I knew immediately that though my father might approve of this man, he and I would not be a good match based on our interests.

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RE: Removing a profile picture - 10/10/2008 6:16:13 AM

ApathyRomance

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Picture's worth a thousand words . . . stupid saying but kind of true. Unlike "have your cake and eat it too" Seriously, when does cake not involve eating?

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RE: Removing a profile picture - 10/10/2008 6:47:29 AM

VivaciousSub

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I'll step right up and admit that physical attraction is very important to me. I'm a highly sexual critter and physical attraction is a huge component of my feeling sexually inclined towards somebody.

What makes someone attractive to me though is intelligence, humor and a bit of wackiness. If I see a picture that incorporates at least one of the three, I'm much more likely to drop a line. By the same token, if I see a very well written profile that intrigues me, without a picture, I'll also drop a line but I tend to go with picture first.

Also, I take care of my body. I prefer to be with others that have done the same. Pictures, while not the be-all-end-all of truth telling, can be a help there.

I don't find that shallow at all, I find it honest. I'd be lying to myself if I said "it's only inside that counts!" or any of the other mantras. I'm not saying inside isn't crucial, though - I've seen people in pics that were drop dead gorgeous but as soon as it was revealed they had the thought process of a brick, or listening skills of a soda bottle, they immediately lost their attractiveness.

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