Disturbing story from CM member + basic safety tips

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Disturbing story from CM member + basic safety tips - 10/10/2008 12:52:06 AM

acai

Posts: 1
Joined: 10/9/2008
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PSA: be safe, everyone!

Okay, I recently had a chat with someone on site here, with a very disturbing story this person confided to me... I won't get into details, but it was disturbing. It wasn't rape, but it was torture, and not consensual.
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Please, everyone: I'm as gullible as you get, but please! Protect yourself! And most of all, have safeguards in place as a HABIT— _INCLUDING_ when you have 99% confidence in person you are to meet for first time. Don't leave this to chance, and only use it when you think you need to. (Translation: Stop trusting yourself to predict the future!)
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Preface: This is not a comprehensive list, and I am not exactly an expert on safety. I haven't even done BSDM before, am a new member, and never met anyone on site yet. I'm probably the last person to ask for safety expertise. Just quick common sense tips I hope everyone take into account— some might be impractical. Well, great. So is risking one's life to the whim of a complete stranger, so weight it all in perspective, okay? javascript:void(AddText('[8\|]'))

There could even be dangers imbedded within these quick tips, to which I appreciate anyone pointing out.

Also, it could be in an FAQ somewhere here, but I couldn't find one, so, my apologies for my noobiness— but this isn't suppose to be a comprehensive list to begin with.

Here are some quick tips:
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Never go see someone in person without meeting them in a safe place (coffee shop, etc.) first— and asking lots of questions. (And no, this is not going to guarantee you will smoke out the ex-cons from the virgin angels descended from Heaven to please you, but some screening is better than zero). If something doesn't add up, or you get odd vibe, don't forget the fact you are still in a position to ask for the check and say good day. (also: DO NOT give your address before this!)

Never let them drive you somewhere— if you don't have a car, have a friend drive you. They can drive you to a place you don't know about, your friend will not know about.

Always tell your friend where you're going to, what time you expect to be back, and make a few check-in calls during your visit.

Ideally, have your friend make the check-up calls to you– in front of person you're with. And don't let him/her think it's a one-time check-in— end each call to make it very clear you expect her to check in again. This only works if you don't let the person drive you, btw...

Tell your friend to expect these calls, or make them yourself, and if they don't hear from you by certain times, have them call the police to check on your address. If it's truly a dead signal, or innocent thing like that, fine. It's better to risk feeling embarrassed in front of a cop than to feel helpless because you're not in front of one.

again, open to feedback, revisions, additions, etc.

If in wrong topic, apologize in advance. thanks! be safe everyone!javascript:void(AddText('

'))

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RE: Disturbing story from CM member + basic safety tips - 10/10/2008 4:51:39 AM

sirsholly

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Thank you for posting that, Acai

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RE: Disturbing story from CM member + basic safety tips - 10/10/2008 6:09:25 AM

windchymes

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I would be suspicious of any "disturbing" story told to me via chat on the internet, especially in here, since a lot of people have really active fantasy lives.....

Not that you can ever be too prepared....

< Message edited by windchymes -- 10/10/2008 6:10:23 AM >

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RE: Disturbing story from CM member + basic safety tips - 10/10/2008 7:34:05 AM

sub4hire

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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You might want to add. Never follow someone home from a safe meeting place either. A few years ago I was on vacation. Could not host my munch group. A new woman came. New man with her. She came to meet him at the munch because he it was a safe place. Well she followed him home and that was not a safe place.
She was raped.

I urged her to report it but she was so humiliated that she would not.

Don't believe everything you hear on the internet but don't just dismiss it all either. Some is very true. You can read about real crime BDSM stories and the murders that happened.
Rarely does something good ever make the news. Though it happens everyday.
Urge people to use common sense and always value themselves. Put themselves first and foremost. Don't go into danger just because their hormones want them to at the moment.

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RE: Disturbing story from CM member + basic safety tips - 10/10/2008 2:03:18 PM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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And some of us have had one night stands with guys we met at a party and enjoyed it. And don't use any safety list except our own common sense and trusting our gut instincts and it still comes out well.

Nobody knew I was meeting him and yes I got in his car the first meet. And nothing happened except we're still together over five years later.

Some people think they know a man really well, they even marry him and five years down the line he changes and starts beating on her nonconsensually. There are no guarantees in life.

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RE: Disturbing story from CM member + basic safety tips - 10/10/2008 3:24:45 PM

CalifChick

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Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
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OP: Since you've got javascript errors in your post, I'm guessing you are did a copy and mass-paste to various places (or you wouldn't likely have funky errors).

Perhaps spend a bit more time reading the forums before jumping in with "safety" tips... it's been done, as have the responses that say "good idea" and "use common sense", etc.

Cali

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