RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES???

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RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 10/12/2008 12:06:18 PM

Posts: 443
Joined: 9/19/2008
From: (aka LotusSong)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JustDarkness

*off topic**
I guess the next topic afther real slave/sub will be topping from the bottom...somethings never change on here..lol

**ontopic**
I guess what people ask for is that they want to be treated in the same way as they treat others.
So a nice mail should get a nice reply...even if it has a negative message.
The theory behind that is nice, but I don't see it happen....because we already discuss about it here..lol

Isn't it weird that we discuss decent behaviour as if it something special?

Let me use this post as a generic sentiment here.... (I'm addressing the thought and not the poster :)
When I respond, I'm always polite.. even if it is just a simple "thank you" for a passing complement. More often than not, it's seen by the sender as a "tug on the line" and escalates to the "How do you treat your slave?" or "Do you play on line?" or "Here's my yahoo name, I have a cam".

So, I either do not respond after the intial acknowledgement or I don't respond all together. If the sender is persistant.. yeah. I'll send him a firm-handed note and if he still persists.. then I'll blast him and put him on block.

_____________________________

I leave it to the 20-somethings to do the "open-minded, total unconditional acceptance thing" for it's how THEY learn that all the things others older than they have deemed BS, are in fact BS. What a waste of a decade.

(in reply to JustDarkness)

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 10/12/2008 12:14:21 PM

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

A sub/slave's 'duty' is first and foremost 'to serve', this includes, but is definitely not limited to, responding when a Master/Mistress say's something to them...even if the response is in the 'negative'. And yet...there are so very many who just never reply/respond or react in any way whatsoever.

Well fiddlefuck...who has the handbook for slaves handy?....I missed that flippin rule

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to MasterChip2008)

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 10/12/2008 12:24:35 PM

Posts: 374
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Divyacheri

~Fast Reply~

I think the OP is not understanding that real life is completely different than virtual life. In real life you approach someone, you are likely to get a response, "No thanks." or "No way asshole." The problem with the internet and the communication with in it- is that people have forgotten what it is like to simply be human. I for one use to have a rule to simply delete e-mails (sometimes I still do especially if it is an insane person to whom NO is not sufficient), but now I open each one and simply read it. Reading the e-mail to me is enough. If I don't respond they get it. With the sincere e-mails...I will say something.

But many and I mean MANY on this site...are simply not serious or simply not serious enough for me. they play games and waste your time. So you become protective, cautious, and sometimes I have become defensive.

What humans don't realize that behind the screen and the words...there's an actual human. Human beings that HAS feelings. However, we have allowed the politically correctness of "the internet," to allow us to be rude, nasty, and most of all game players. I remember years ago actually about 12 years ago on IRC (Internet Relay Chat)- it was a lot different. People were family and you made an effort to not only get to know them...you met them. That has change my friend.

I have to disagree with the "real life" vs "virtual life" comparison.

Email is a form of communication used by REAL people. This conversation is not imaginary. It is really happening.

The problem is: some people tend to think the rules of life do not apply when communicating via the internet. They think that not replying to an email is some kind of crime against humanity, while many of them never bother to reply to a hand written letter or even a phone call from their own mothers.

For example, I'd bet that no one here actually responds to every single piece of junk mail they receive in the mail box. Advertisers know this, yet you never get a second piece of junk mail calling you a sorry fat pig because you didn't respond by purchasing their product.

The fact is .. their time is their time. You don't get to dictate to them how they use it. Call them impolite if you like, however, the fact is, they are under no obligation to respond to your message, just as you are under no obligation to send a letter to Dominos thanking them for that drawer full of coupons.

I wonder how many people take the time to call a potential employer who didn't acknowledge their resume and tell the HR department how rude they are.

Welcome to real life. This isn't little league where everybody gets to play and everybody gets a trophy regardless of how sorry you are. This is the real world, where there are winners, losers and hurt feelings.

_____________________________

Do you have any idea how many bones you have left for me to break? - Batman

(in reply to Divyacheri)

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 10/12/2008 12:26:04 PM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

Ya know..I've had that as well but flipped and tailored for a Dom lol. I'm a big guy, I can deal. I'd say grow a thicker skin instead of not dealing with it maybe.

Rude is rude no matter the excuse. If your okay with that, it doesn't bother me. I could see someone who has a Master and isn't allowed.

No response IS a RUDE response.

You must have a thicker skin than I do. Because in five years I've never gotten used to the "fat cow" "drop dead bitch" and other less friendly responses.

I may be rude when I don't respond, but if I have to be rude to protect myself from unwarranted abuse, then that is what I'll do.

The other points which may or may not have been mentioned is that some of us aren't allowed to respond to uninvited come ons but you won't know who that is true of unless it's in our profiles. I know it isn't in mine. And then of course come the mail filters here. Is someone being rude if they set up their filters so your mail goes directly to the waste bin and you don't get a response because it didn't get through to be read?

Where's Emily Post when you need her. Or perhaps it is rude to forbid a sub to answer upsetting email? Rude to use mail filters at all?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Icarys)

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 10/12/2008 12:27:25 PM

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

No response IS a RUDE response.

If not responding to "Hey cunt, how do you like to be used?" is rude, I can live with that.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to Icarys)

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 10/12/2008 12:28:11 PM

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

Call them impolite if you like, however, the fact is, they are under no obligation to respond to your message

I do and I also know this is a fact of life.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to SoulPiercer)

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 10/12/2008 12:28:12 PM

ShatteredSoul123

Posts: 29
Joined: 5/17/2008
Status: offline

*sighs* you people totally twist words around on here....

Its not a matter of what any given persons definition is... its a matter of what being a submissive (or slave) (or bottom) (or top) (or dom) (or master) (or whatever fsckin title you want to use) means to YOU.

IF IF IF by my definition I thought a REAL SLAVE was someone who would instantly drop at my command whether I new them or not....anyone who didn't instantly drop MUST LOGICALLY not be a slave IN MY OPINION....

Does that mean they aren't a slave by someone elses opinion? No.
Does it mean I can't still interact and learn from them? No.

So whats it mean? It means I don't agree with their view on things... nothing more nothing less.

I am Christian, I have friends who are not. I believe there religion is wrong. I believe they are wrong to believe it. We all try to persuade each other of our own views. We all keep our own views never budging. We all stay friends....

Does this make sense yet?

_____________________________

ShatteredSoul of http://www.alternativealbany.com
and http://beingadaddy.wordpress.com (not kinky)

(in reply to ncprincess)

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 10/12/2008 12:30:12 PM

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShatteredSoul123

Does this make sense yet?

Well yes, and I answered that and asked a follow up question (page 4) but you didn't reply to that.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to ShatteredSoul123)

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 10/12/2008 12:36:08 PM

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

No response IS a RUDE response.

If not responding to "Hey cunt, how do you like to be used?" is rude, I can live with that.

ORIGINAL: Icarys

If it's a polite email. I'd say yes. Works on both sides as far as I'm concerned.

Who else has missed this?

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to NuevaVida)

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 10/12/2008 12:38:01 PM

lemmebeYourMine

Posts: 136
Joined: 11/7/2007
Status: offline

Wow. just wow. So many responses, so many that come from the same place and thoughts I originally had running through my head.

So now on a different and new note. Owing you or anyone else a response, should have little bearing on Dominance or Submission. If I send a nice detailed email to a potential Dominant or seeking Friendship, I would expect and or desire, that they at least sent a response be it sorry I'm not interested, I don't think we'd get along, or what not. For bothering to take the time and write to them, I didn't have to say more than Hi, how are you? to get their attention drawn to my profile, but I chose to identify other information from their profile and relate to it. Therefore I would like to hear back from them in some manner.

That being said, I have received the *what is that V word?* responses after politely saying not interested. So to them I hit ignore, block whatever; and hope to never hear from one such A$$ again. To me, responding is about manners, and I think it is rude not to respond, especially to polite, well written messages. IF some ass or wannabe Dom type takes that as an invitation to flirt etc and push limits the rudeness he displays by such need not fall on me. But at the same time; if I worked a filter so that Doms over 50 couldn't get through, and posted this on my profile, I would expect that they read the warning and are being disrespectful even trying to email me and thus the Non-response is an adequate and sufficient way of dealing with the fact that some people can't be bothered to read our profiles. Thus to me this method of dealing with unwanted mail is not rude, it is simply a matter or efficiency.

I don't see Chip, but if he's reading responses to his posting; He should stop e-mailing the kinds of Subs who won't, can't, don't wanna, and Maybe Shouldn't be bothered to read other people's emails and figure out who these target women are so that he can find some one who thinks it is a matter of decency and politeness to read and respond to most of their e-mails. Also he may wish to pick people who aren't otherwise bogged down by unwanted e-mails and who's profiles lean toward the Taken or Bitter side of life. Both such types of people are usually highly identified by what they say in their profile. Warning signs would be words like "MEN NEED NOT BOTHER" "DON'T E-MAIL ME" or maybe in a journal entry "sorry, I'm bogged down right now, but trying to get through all my mail."

Because there are people here who do not fit the bill for what concerns Chip, and there are those who do, and always will.

Hmmmmmm, I guess that's all I had to contribute to this posting.

Lemmebe.

(in reply to IrishMist)

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 10/12/2008 12:38:23 PM

Posts: 3513
Joined: 3/10/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline

It's easy for males to reply to everyone anyway not so easy for females, due to amount of mail received. Am I less rude if I respond to my one mail message per year and a woman only responds to 10 out of 20 she gets per month?

_____________________________

えへまにんへえや
Nobody wants to listen to the same song over and over again!

(in reply to Icarys)

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 10/12/2008 12:41:23 PM

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

No response IS a RUDE response.

If not responding to "Hey cunt, how do you like to be used?" is rude, I can live with that.

ORIGINAL: Icarys

If it's a polite email. I'd say yes. Works on both sides as far as I'm concerned.

Who else has missed this?

I didn't miss it. You seem to have missed GT's follow up question:

quote:

Icarys.. I've gotten polite emails.. responded with a thanks, but I'm not interested... and in return have received variations of "your a fat pig/a man/a fake/etc that is worthless/a fucking cunt/ etc"

why should I deal with that?

No response IS a response.

After awhile, you stop investing the effort in a polite "no thank you reply" because the majority of the time you'll receive a piece of crap in return.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to Icarys)

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 10/12/2008 12:41:26 PM

Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline

The problem is that people get so many shit messages on here, that the recievers get numb/prejudiced about messages from strangers in general.
The good get judged by the actions of the bad.
That is understandable from the recievers and is sad for the senders.
But it is human to respond that way......but sadly might result in not meeting new people also.

And to be honest I am glad I am not a female on here,if I hear what they have to endure in messages. I would not respond either.

(in reply to Icarys)

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 10/12/2008 12:43:06 PM

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Raechard

It's easy for males to reply to everyone anyway not so easy for females, due to amount of mail received. Am I less rude if I respond to my one mail message per year and a woman only responds to 10 out of 20 she gets per month?

Filter then..No excuses work for me other than they were nasty to you right off the bat or you were told not to by your Master.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to Raechard)

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 10/12/2008 12:43:31 PM

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

actually, Icarys... I do usually reply to polite emails. I've actually continued corresponding with a few of those folks. I guess the way I decide whether to respond or not is based on the persons profile. I cant pinpoint exactly it is that would make me decide against responding.. call it a gut feeling, I suppose, that if I DO respond then I feel that the thanksnothanks will get the vitriol.
Have I missed out on corresponding with some great people? Could be. But thats the same chance I take when I turn someone down for a date.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Icarys)

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 10/12/2008 12:46:00 PM

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

No response IS a RUDE response.

If not responding to "Hey cunt, how do you like to be used?" is rude, I can live with that.

ORIGINAL: Icarys

If it's a polite email. I'd say yes. Works on both sides as far as I'm concerned.

Who else has missed this?

I didn't miss it. You seem to have missed GT's follow up question:

quote:

Icarys.. I've gotten polite emails.. responded with a thanks, but I'm not interested... and in return have received variations of "your a fat pig/a man/a fake/etc that is worthless/a fucking cunt/ etc"

why should I deal with that?

No response IS a response.

After awhile, you stop investing the effort in a polite "no thank you reply" because the majority of the time you'll receive a piece of crap in return.

I didn't miss it..I did respond with my previous statement in bold.

If you've allowed them to get to you so be it.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to NuevaVida)

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 10/12/2008 12:47:02 PM

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

actually, Icarys... I do usually reply to polite emails. I've actually continued corresponding with a few of those folks. I guess the way I decide whether to respond or not is based on the persons profile. I cant pinpoint exactly it is that would make me decide against responding.. call it a gut feeling, I suppose, that if I DO respond then I feel that the thanksnothanks will get the vitriol.
Have I missed out on corresponding with some great people? Could be. But thats the same chance I take when I turn someone down for a date.

Hey GT,

I actually reply to a lot of polite emails, too, unless it's been a day full of rude responses and I feel tired of it. In fact, the man I've been seeing recently only emailed me a short, neutral type question, and I answered, and we had a fun and polite exchange - both agreeing that nothing would come of this but thankful for the polite responses. Two months later, well, you never know what comes of it.

I'm sure it's as tiring for people to NOT receive a reply as it is for us to receive the vitriol. Both sides can be justified, so I figure let's call it a wash and say the world is imperfect.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 10/12/2008 12:48:30 PM

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

ORIGINAL: Icarys

If it's a polite email. I'd say yes. Works on both sides as far as I'm concerned.

Who else has missed this?

I'd have to say that many missed what you were saying..or what I see you as having said:

To not respond to a polite email, is rude.

I happen to agree with you and I would have to guess that I respond to 99% of the non crude emails sent to me simply because I consider 'No thanks etc etc' to be polite behavior.
There are a rare few occasions where I do ignore an email though, I admit that sometimes I just don't feel like emailing any response however I usually do that out of tiredness and feel a bit bad for being rude.

Manners are important to me and my world, it really takes very little effort to hit reply with 'No thank you'. Not that I've time it but its probably not much more time than hitting delete or block.

On the flip side there are more people (IMO) that feel the opposite way, that since there is no obligation then the effort needn't be made.
I make the effort for a myriad of reasons yet realize I'm in the minority.

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to Icarys)

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 10/12/2008 12:48:59 PM

Posts: 5219
Joined: 3/28/2008
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Personally, when I first signed up with CM, I received well over 200 emails in the first few days. No matter how hard I tried, there was just no way I was going to be able to answer every single one of those in a timely manner. The ones who looked like they really took time to read my profile and craft a personalized response all got an answer, even if it was "Sorry, I don't think it would work because (fill in the blank)."

Once I had been here a while and the number of emails I was receiving per day dropped down to a managable amount, I did try to write back every single one, provided they had at least looked at my profile before they wrote me. The only really ugly response I have received was actually in the last week and was from someone who wrote me a nasty email stating that I shouldn't keep my profile on CM since I am no longer searching (not quite that nicely obviously). I sent him back an email telling him that there are several very valid reasons for keeping a profile on CM after one has found the love of their life, including but not limited to meeting new friends, receiving emails from people on the boards that I am friends with, and so that I can have a picture or two for those on the boards who read my posts to refer to and that I couldn't see where I was hurting him by keeping my profile. His response was very ugly. He was the first and only person I have blocked on CM.

Unfortunately, I have also run into many who thought that since I wrote them back, I must really be interested no matter what my email stated. Or that since I wrote them back I could be swayed into getting over the fact that they are a heavy smoker (I'm allergic), they live in another country (I don't want to leave the US), they want someone who will sleep with bums to show their devotion (need I say more!?). So I can definitely understand both sides of this discussion. I feel for those who actually read a person's profile, take the time to send out an articulate email in response and get ignored. But I also feel for those who have been made to feel that the only way to keep from being insulted is to ignore those emails that come from people they are not interested in.

_____________________________

Finally home where I belong.

"A lot of disappointed people have been left standing on the street corner waiting for the bus marked 'Perfection.' " Donald Kennedy

(in reply to IrishMist)

RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? - 10/12/2008 12:49:06 PM

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

If you've allowed them to get to you so be it.

Nah, emails on a message board don't get to me, nor did I say they did. But I get to decide how I want to handle certain emails. If others allow my lack of response to get to them...so be it. Agreed?

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to Icarys)

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