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Doms perspective - 12/13/2005 7:12:35 PM   
windy135


Posts: 437
Joined: 10/17/2005
Status: offline 		(In regard to fastlanes post about subs) Masters and Doms what traits do you look for in a sub or slave? What makes you respect her. What does she do that makes your heart melt? What does she do to deserve a spanking?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Doms perspective - 12/13/2005 9:01:22 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		My reply to this is exactly the same as it was in the other post.

Except the "deserve a spanking." In terms of punishment, they deserve it when they've knowingly disobeyed or misbehaved when they should have known better. In terms of just wanting a spanking, they deserve it when I feel I want to spank them and when they are good enough to have a scene with me.

(in reply to windy135)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Doms perspective - 12/13/2005 9:45:46 PM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		If I'm looking for a Sub the first thing I want is honesty. The next thing I look for is attitude. If she has the right attitude then we can work through almost anything else. After that comes the obvious things like cleanliness, desire to serve, appearance (by this I mean does she try to look her best; not is she beautiful), fiscal responsibility and sexual desires.

I respect the woman who knows how to be an independant thinker without being a smartass. She needs to be able to handle her own affairs and daily chores and yet still convince me that she desires to serve me. I think the old adage firs well here: "I want a woman who is a queen in the parlor, a magician in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom."

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to windy135)
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RE: Doms perspective - 12/14/2005 12:20:53 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: windy135

(In regard to fastlanes post about subs) Masters and Doms what traits do you look for in a sub or slave?

Sincerity, obedience, dependability, playfulness, imagination, creativity, active mind, common interests, a genuine desire to serve, be pleasing, be useful and make me happy. A nice smile and dark hair doesn't hurt either.

quote:

What makes you respect her.

Her actions... integrity, honesty, dependability proven through what she does, not what she says.

quote:

What does she do that makes your heart melt?

When she does something unexpected just to please me, something she had to really go out of her way to do. A former submissive made me Valentine by hand, she took photos of things she knew I loved, scanned them, added some art and made a very unique Valentines card just for me. Things didn't work out with her and she's gone now... I still have the card. The thought really does count.

quote:

What does she do to deserve a spanking?

Begs really sweetly.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to windy135)
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RE: Doms perspective - 12/15/2005 7:55:12 PM   
Dracironsgirl


Posts: 175
Joined: 7/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: windy135

(In regard to fastlanes post about subs) Masters and Doms what traits do you look for in a sub or slave? What makes you respect her. What does she do that makes your heart melt? What does she do to deserve a spanking?



what a great post ....thank You

_____________________________

~love a Man in control~

(in reply to windy135)
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RE: Doms perspective - 12/15/2005 8:56:25 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: windy135

(In regard to fastlanes post about subs) Masters and Doms what traits do you look for in a sub or slave? What makes you respect her. What does she do that makes your heart melt? What does she do to deserve a spanking?



Well this could be a long one….

One of the most important considerations that I consider when looking at a sub/slave is to see demonstrated virtuous character demonstrated. I see Virtuous character as those abstract qualities that are manifested thru character strengths into demonstrated behaviors. As interact with a submissive person, I will observe the demonstrated behaviors and note those behaviors that express six virtuous qualities that are of importance to me.

Wisdom – a quality of discerning inner intangible ideals and relationships that provide good sense and judgment thru the use of ones knowledge and intellectual capabilities. Character strengths such as being open-mindedness, critical thinking, balance perspectives and a love of learning are a few solid strengths that I enjoy in a person. I very much enjoy intellectual conversation as well as one that can look at situations from open-mind so that all situations can be viewed before a decision is made. Such people are open to growth and change and this is an important part of who I am.

Courage – the mental and moral strength to venture, persevere and withstand the challenges and fears one faces in the achievement of there desires and goals. It takes courage to have Integrity… being truthful when it challenges oneself shows great courage…. I admire Character of Integrity greatly for it demonstrates a foundation to build trust upon. Persistence to ones goals and to ones principles takes courage so it is another character strength I watch for. The courageous person is one that you can count one to be with you when times are tough. It take courage to be devoted and loyal, a quality that I require in one that is mine.

Humanity – a quality of being humane to those around us. A person capable of demonstrated love, compassion, kindness opens me deeply. I am quick to make myself open and vulnerable to a person that can show me such character. It is this love that is show that I most adore and melts me right to my core.

Justice – a quality of understanding principles and values that are fair and just not for just one own self but balancing the individual with the common good of all. Fairness and balance are important characteristics for my consideration. A just person will not be selfish and selfishness is a quality that I detest greatly. Many cry for justice… but yet what they seek is vengeance and punishment to atone to their own selfish emotions without consideration of anyone else, including those that love them.

Temperance – a strength of moderation in action, thought or feelings. Self-discipline and regulation is of one the highest characteristics that I seek. If one can’t have control of oneself – then they have nothing to give me except their chaos. I seek not enforce control upon someone that can’t control themselves for the most part. One that can’t control them self is but a drain upon a person that must enforce control upon them. I also enjoy a person that is modest and prudent in their actions and thoughts. Irrational behavior is not a quality that I enjoy in the least.

Transcendence – a quality of person that enjoys life beyond materialism and the tangibles. A person that lives day to day with humor, playfulness and hope as a part of their everyday life is indeed wanted in my life. Enjoying the beauties that life brings from one moment to the next. Gratefully and appreciative for what is, even as one is working to make things better.

All these things and more have earned my respect and appreciation of my girls, alandra and kyra. It is also are qualities that earn my friendship. But, it is the deep compatibility of my values, desires with my girls that have brought and keep us together.


_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to windy135)
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RE: Doms perspective - 12/15/2005 10:01:53 PM   
Sensualips


Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

If one can’t have control of oneself – then they have nothing to give me except their chaos. One that can’t control them self is but a drain upon a person that must enforce control upon them.


Ain't that the truth. I am weary just thinking about it.

And yet, I wonder. You said "moderation of feeling." Can you elaborate? It doesn't seem you discourage intense emotions?

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Doms perspective - 12/15/2005 10:22:01 PM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline 		Well, I just like someone who is compatible, whatever that means. For me, a big component is being entertaining. That doesn't mean being a comedian or juggling or stuff like that . . . though those things could work too, but I'm really thinking of having interests I am clueless about, provocative ideas or talents that make me think. Oh, and blowjobs are important too.

As for deserving spankings -- that is a reward, not a punishment.

_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to windy135)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Doms perspective - 12/16/2005 3:16:24 AM   
sweetpettjenny


Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		He expects honesty first and foremost out of me

(in reply to windy135)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Doms perspective - 12/16/2005 5:32:01 AM   
HouseofBear


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline 		What do we look for in a submissive? There are a lot of things. Honesty, intelligence, a willingness to learn, an ability to share a loving, caring relationship with others in the family (and no, we do not mean a sexual relationship, that is not a requirement), the ability to make a strong commitment to family, and a willingness to serve (again, not referring to the sexual aspects only). Someone who is willing to work with us to develop the mutual trust necessary for a m/s relationship. Someone who is looking for a pro-active relationship, not merely wanting micromanagement. Creativity and the ability to keep up physically with a very active family are a big plus.

Bear and Ursa

(in reply to sweetpettjenny)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Doms perspective - 12/16/2005 6:58:34 AM   
DelRey


Posts: 314
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline
quote:

(In regard to fastlanes post about subs) Masters and Doms what traits do you look for in a sub or slave?

Attitude and a desire to serve.

quote:

What makes you respect her.

Her heart, intentions and her Attitude of happiness and positive thinking

quote:

What does she do that makes your heart melt?
Sexual surprises, total loving surrender, anicipating my needs or desires, waking up in my arms, sexual displays that are intended to give me a peek or cause me to notice her sexually, coming to my arms when needing a hug, a sensual womanly attitude.

quote:

What does she do to deserve a spanking?

There are many reasons to spank e.g. good, bad, playfull, heat of the moment ect... On the good side just keep all of the above in place and it will come pretty natural and frequent.

notice the comon thread ?...

A warm Masterful holiday hug

del Rey



< Message edited by DelRey -- 12/16/2005 7:00:43 AM >

(in reply to windy135)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Doms perspective - 12/16/2005 7:28:58 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sensualips

quote:

If one can’t have control of oneself – then they have nothing to give me except their chaos. One that can’t control them self is but a drain upon a person that must enforce control upon them.


Ain't that the truth. I am weary just thinking about it.

And yet, I wonder. You said "moderation of feeling." Can you elaborate? It doesn't seem you discourage intense emotions?



Moderation of feelings is in effect a person's ability to maintain control of their feelings in thier choice to act or not act... In the negative extreme consider the driver that gets so frustrated that they enter into the "Driver's Rage" mode. The emotions become so strong that the emotions are dictating the actions and not the consideration of the consequences of such action would bring. In the Postive frame of mind... one considers not only their thoughts and feelings towards actions but also the consequences to act or not to act. You are correct in your perception that I don't discourage intense emtions... but such intense emotions must be considerate of the consequences. It is always the consequences that will either propel us forward or throw us back. It wise in my opinion to have a proper consideration of the possibilities before one throws themself passionately into action. But, when the pudent choice as been made... then intensity of action, thought and feelings are indeed a treasured quality. Intensity is often confused with just emotions, but it can be viewed in other lights as well. Self-discipline and perservence in achieving ones goals in the face of challenges can be a very intense behavior to enjoy and witness. Intensity and passion of thought and feelings are a much different but equally important to maintain control and moderation on those same thoughts and feelings before one acts or not acts!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Sensualips)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Doms perspective - 12/16/2005 7:39:02 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: windy135

What does she do to deserve a spanking?




I just realized that I didn't answer this question of yours...

They get a spanking not for a reward or acknowledgement but soley because it is my will to enjoy myself from time to time. I don't reward my girls for being who being who they are... I appreciate and enjoy them for who they are. I teach and I have taught, They learn and have learned what pleases me. If they are movitivated to bring me pleasure... they will make the choices to demonstrated the behaviors I find pleasing and not for some reward that I will bestow upon them.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to windy135)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Doms perspective - 12/16/2005 8:13:40 AM   
Webmaster60


Posts: 396
Joined: 9/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Masters and Doms what traits do you look for in a sub or slave? What makes you respect her. What does she do that makes your heart melt? What does she do to deserve a spanking?

I have 4 requirements of a slave.
Naked, Open, Unashamed, obediant.
Naked and open almost go together.. Naked in that she may hide NOTHING from me. Open about what she thinks and feels (not necessarily unsolicited). :)
Unashamed in that she is willing to do my will without regard to how she may "feel" about it. She is a slave, slut, girl, toy. And quite proud in knowing she is held above all others.
Obediant.. in ALL things.. not perfection, just obey. simple.
What makes me treasure a girl most is she obeys absolutely even when no one is watching. WHen she takes a step, it is with pleasing me in mind.

Spanking? Well being a sadist/sensation player whatever term you would use.. it doesn't take much.. Now punishment? violation of any of the 4 rules, for any reason, will absolutely result in some form of discipline. This is not always a physically painful one.

_____________________________

Master Michael
~~~~~~~~~~
"To sin in silence when he should
speak makes cowards of men"

(in reply to windy135)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Doms perspective - 12/16/2005 8:23:00 AM   
sallysally


Posts: 36
Joined: 12/12/2005
Status: offline 		Master Michael, as a slave i could not agree more with You. This is exactly what i strive for with my Master every waking minute of every day. i clean the soles of His shoes before He goes out in the yard because i know how important it is to give Him everything.

i fail every day and get punished, but i also try my hardest every day.

sally

(in reply to Webmaster60)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Doms perspective - 12/16/2005 8:36:10 AM   
sub4mistressnsir


Posts: 89
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Webmaster60
Spanking? Well being a sadist/sensation player whatever term you would use.. it doesn't take much.. Now punishment? violation of any of the 4 rules, for any reason, will absolutely result in some form of discipline. This is not always a physically painful one.


I would much rather take a spanking or even the slapper than get the 'look' from Sir or Mistress. I know I have done something 'really' bad when I get 'the look'.
IMO emotional discipline is worse than physical discipline any day of the week.
~sub

(in reply to Webmaster60)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Doms perspective - 12/16/2005 9:22:49 AM   
Webmaster60


Posts: 396
Joined: 9/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I would much rather take a spanking or even the slapper than get the 'look' from Sir or Mistress. I know I have done something 'really' bad when I get 'the look'.
IMO emotional discipline is worse than physical discipline any day of the week.

::chuckles:: of course slave. Thats because you're a painslut.. I SELDOM beat a painslut to punish her.

_____________________________

Master Michael
~~~~~~~~~~
"To sin in silence when he should
speak makes cowards of men"

(in reply to sub4mistressnsir)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Doms perspective - 12/16/2005 9:25:11 AM   
Webmaster60


Posts: 396
Joined: 9/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

This is exactly what i strive for with my Master every waking minute of every day. i clean the soles of His shoes before He goes out in the yard because i know how important it is to give Him everything.

Then, slave girl, you may know well what I speak of in holding your head high as you know that as "that" slave, you are held above all others

_____________________________

Master Michael
~~~~~~~~~~
"To sin in silence when he should
speak makes cowards of men"

(in reply to sallysally)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Doms perspective - 12/16/2005 9:41:12 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Webmaster60
as you know that as "that" slave, you are held above all others

Why does a slave care about being held above all others? If a slave came around who could do a better job of it, wouldn't she just be replaced?

(in reply to Webmaster60)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Doms perspective - 12/16/2005 9:43:58 AM   
sallysally


Posts: 36
Joined: 12/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross


quote:

ORIGINAL: Webmaster60
as you know that as "that" slave, you are held above all others

Why does a slave care about being held above all others? If a slave came around who could do a better job of it, wouldn't she just be replaced?



Hey, that is true when you think about it. Surely one of the key things about being a slave is being expendable. i get real scared when Master gets angry and says He will throw me out, one day He might actually do it and my life would be over.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 20
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