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RE: Are there any Dommes who just do this for fun - 2/21/2009 8:03:12 AM

ShaktiSama

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

Looking at the profiles, i m struck by how many of them are seeking to own individuals. My question is this what happened to old fashioned boy meets girl, buys her treats and drinks and leaves her short for nothing and girl is well pleased. When did the gradation towards the desire for owning human property begin. And Ladies has feminism gone too far now with the desire of many Women on this site to not only court the opposite sex but to actually control their partner in every way. Where did this Female control buzz start ladies. Did your parents give you this idea. Where did it all emanate from. I d like to know the responses. Feel free to respond any way you wish
kevin

Judging by the tone of your post, what you are really asking is "Aren't there any dommes who feel like having casual play or sex with a male partner?

The answer is absolutely "yes", but those women looking for casual play are usually looking for a man who is attractive for casual sex purposes. That means "HOT", however a domme happens to define that word. "Handsome"/"young", and sometimes "hung", plus "in great physical shape" and "has a positive respective attitude" and "is absolutely submissive to her kinks" are pretty common themes, in case you're wondering.

If you don't have those qualities, your second option is, "Aren't there any dommes who are willing to have non-committed sessions of casual kinky sex with a male partner, for a price?"

The answer to that question is "yes" as well, but I'm not going to start another pro domme thread. If you aren't physically and sexually attractive enough to be used as a chewtoy for free, you're going to have to offer something in return. Whether that's a relationship that the woman finds emotionally satisfying or a chunk out of your wallet, she's not going to do you casually "just for fun"--'cause doing you casually ISN'T FUN FOR HER.

Either way, I'm getting sick of the endless whining from male submissives who seem utterly mystified when a dominant woman is looking out for her own needs and wants first. Get this through your heads: all dominants are in this for fun. We're just in it for OUR fun, not solely for yours. If you don't look and act like every woman's sexual fantasy, don't be surprised if your average-to-plain physical appearance and whiney, self-righteous attitude are not netting you a never-ending stream of hotties in leather boots. There are many, many women who would be open to no-strings play with the right man--if you aren't getting that, it's because you aren't the right man. It's not rocket science, and quite honestly, a bad attitude is a far greater obstacle than any other.

As for the rest of this bs about "ownership"--this is nothing new at all. All vanilla marriages represent states of ownership, they are just normally inflicted unilaterally on the woman: she becomes the "property" of her husband, just as she was once the property of her father, which is signified by changing her name from her father's name to her husband's name. The fact that dominant women reverse this format should not be all that surprising, since we also reverse most of the other power relationships that exist between men and women: sexual, financial, emotional, and physical. Also, the existence of female dominance per se doesn't spring solely from the modern feminist movement--there have been forms of female dominance in the historical record since ancient Greece and Rome, in the west, and at least since the Han dynasty in Asia. Modern feminism just makes female dominance more common--it hasn't changed its essential character.

People have always wanted to possess/own their partners. The only exceptions to this rule are the polyamorous, and as near as I can tell, having a truly polyamorous personality is rare--they only constitute about 10% to 30% of the population, and as such they probably represent a minority sexuality along the lines of homosexuality and bisexuality. Something you are born with, and which emerges as you mature sexually and emotionally.

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(in reply to lobodomslavery)

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RE: Are there any Dommes who just do this for fun - 2/21/2009 10:32:06 AM

lobodomslavery

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Wow its been so long since i typed on this particular thread. i can sympathise with your point of view and at the risk of being labelled patriarchal Tammyjo, i just think in one way being Dominant is more or certainly traditionally was more a male thing. Were women not known as the fairer sex traditionally? But yeah absolutely fairer does not necessarily mean push over or submissive
kevin

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RE: Are there any Dommes who just do this for fun - 2/21/2009 4:56:55 PM

lateralist1

Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
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In my experience it is an intrinsic part of masculinity to look after themselves first and an intrinsic part of femininity to be more caring of other people.
On top of that women have for centuries been brought up to look after their man as he used to be the one who held her life and that of her children in his hands.
However the world is changing and therefore so are women and men.
Women are learning how to be more concerned for themseles and some men are learning that they will not hold on to a woman if they don't satisfy her needs.
I've always been dominant. It's my nature. I've also always been poly that's my nature. I've always been a sadist but I hid it well because it was not acceptable. I haven't needed consent in the past. However one grows and learns about oneself and others. I now find I do need consent so I look for a sexual/life partner/s who enjoys or at least accepts who I am.
Kevin you make assumptions about what people ought to be instead of finding out who they are. Your upset about how the world treats you and you probably have ever right to be. But you have to grow-up and learn to live in it as it is. Dublin is one of the foremost cities in the world since Ireland entered the EU. The Irish still have a lot of problems but they are now a respected nation. The problem is that some of the Irish people stll see themselves as slaves. They are not except in their own heads. Your unemployed and therefore poor. So are a lot of people all over the world. We all know that poverty eats into the soul of people. Not being able to get a job has a detrimental affect on human beings. I'm a woman I'm used to having to work ten times as hard to get the same respect as a man. I used to having to cope with the main responsibility of care for those who need it. I'm sick and tired of fighting for feminism and social equality for all. But it's my burden in life. I've carried it since I was ten years old. Am I a Domme just for fun? No I'm not. I'm a Domme because it's what I need to survive emotionally, psychologically and physically. Your a submissive man looking for a dominant woman because it's what you need and yes it's going to be tough if not impossible for you to find the right woman for you but in my opinion you are looking in the wrong place. Your not kinky are you? You just want a dominant woman. So go and try and find one in the vanilla world.

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

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RE: Are there any Dommes who just do this for fun - 2/22/2009 12:32:34 PM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
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kevin,

It didnt 'in say suddenly 2000 or early 90s it kicked off'.

Sado masochism has been around as long as people have been around.

For whatever their reasons, there are people who are just plain mean and sadistic and there are people who are just masochistic who get off on being mistreated.

This seems a very silly post for one who's a deviant here at CM with an extensive history of posts.

I say, did someone hack your profile?

If not, then you need to study the history of female dominance.

It's ridiculous to expect a 20 blog short course on this forum to enlighten you.

Your ignorance is showing.

TM

quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

Yes i respect that but i am perturbed as to why in say suddenly 2000 or early 90s it kicked off. i mean for generations men ruled the roost and that was wrong right. but there was none of this sadistic stuff going on not least where i was growing up anyway and nobody viewed anyone else as Dominant slave or sub. i just find it weird that suddenly in the 90s everything changed after years of relative constancy for want of a better word where certainly Women were not viewed as superior to men and men were neither viewed as superior to Women
kevin

< Message edited by TexasMaam -- 2/22/2009 12:34:47 PM >

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RE: Are there any Dommes who just do this for fun - 2/22/2009 4:34:10 PM

DelilahDeb

Posts: 429
Joined: 1/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

Yes Ma'am i know that. But like i say, ok, when did you discover you were Dominant , you were not born that way, were you or have guys been submissive to you for a long long time, when is the last i suppose ill ask that You followed a guy's orders or the last time you were vanilla even. Is your family kinky. Where did it emanate from?
kevin

Kevin, have you ever hear the phrase "control freak"? People like control because they like control; it may or may not have anything to do with BDSM.

I have been dominant without labelling it throughout my life. It wasn't about guys being submissive, but my relationships have been "whatever she wants". Took me quite a while to realize that I preferred it that way, and to adapt to being in charge.

Now, I will say that I have never followed a guy's orders just because he was a guy. I've followed orders when I was in the military, because I had sworn to do so, but the gender of the person giving orders did not matter.

Lady Delilah Deb

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--from the Charge of the Goddess, a Wiccan teaching

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RE: Are there any Dommes who just do this for fun - 2/22/2009 7:40:52 PM

MarcEsadrian

Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

Looking at the profiles, i m struck by how many of them are seeking to own individuals. My question is this what happened to old fashioned boy meets girl, buys her treats and drinks and leaves her short for nothing and girl is well pleased. When did the gradation towards the desire for owning human property begin. And Ladies has feminism gone too far now with the desire of many Women on this site to not only court the opposite sex but to actually control their partner in every way. Where did this Female control buzz start ladies. Did your parents give you this idea. Where did it all emanate from. I d like to know the responses. Feel free to respond any way you wish
kevin

Hi Kevin,

You are on a site that deals (at least partially) with D/s and M/s. I think in some circumstances it's more appropriate to ask, "where did the trend for fluffy egalitarian relationships creep in on this site?"

As for where the desire to own another human beings derives, one need only leaf through the chronicles of human history to see it has been with us for a very long time. It's not a new idea at all.

< Message edited by MarcEsadrian -- 2/22/2009 7:41:12 PM >

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