Question to all subs

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Hanable -> Question to all subs (11/6/2008 12:59:51 PM)
ok.. me and my mother got into a .. argument i guess u could say. about why subs/slaves are submissives or slaves. i thought id go to the sourse and ask directly. Why are you a sub or slave? if you know why that is.. if not i understand. H >:)

Barelily -> RE: Question to all subs (11/6/2008 1:03:52 PM)
There is no "why", it's just there, always has been.

AquaticSub -> RE: Question to all subs (11/6/2008 1:04:52 PM)
I dunno. Cause this stuff has turned me on as long as I can remember?

sappatoti -> RE: Question to all subs (11/6/2008 1:10:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Hanable ok.. me and my mother got into a .. argument i guess u could say. about why subs/slaves are submissives or slaves. i thought id go to the sourse and ask directly. Why are you a sub or slave? if you know why that is.. if not i understand. H >:) One is who and what they are. There is no more a reason why some are submissive as there is to why some are constantly happy... or pessimistic... or a dominant... or a leader... or a... hell, pick any personality trait. I gave up a long, long time ago trying to figure out why I do the things I do or behave the way I do. Life is too short, in my opinon, to be spent trying to figure such things out. I'd rather just "do" and enjoy it.

darchChylde -> RE: Question to all subs (11/6/2008 1:16:02 PM)
I've always been pretty much an old-fashioned southern gentleman, it turns out that translates pretty well into being a submissive. Actually, I went to a club with a friend and ended up hired as a pro/stage bottom and thought that I was being a submissive; eventually I found somebody who absolutely made me feel submissive to Her and my life hasn't been the same since. Why am I a submissive? Because it's the most comfortable way for me to interact with women.

slavelet -> RE: Question to all subs (11/6/2008 1:25:33 PM)
i admit i dont have a complete understanding of WHY i am both submissive and slave... but... it feels both completely self-less and selfish at once. Moments of disappointment due to a sacrifice, to please him... ultimately make me amazingly happy and content. Just because i pleased him.

DavanKael -> RE: Question to all subs (11/6/2008 1:42:53 PM)
I identify as a switch but I prefer to be submissive in relationships with males. I am this way because of, first and foremost, my nature, my choice, and my life experiences. Davan

Mercnbeth -> RE: Question to all subs (11/6/2008 1:55:42 PM)
quote: Why are you a sub or slave? it's going to be a two part answer for this slave, because she observes a distinct difference in being submissive, as in posessing a submissive personality, versus *choosing* to submit and labelling it with the distinction of "submissive" or "slave", in the context of a negotiated D/s or M/s relationship. part 1. why is this slave is in posession of a submissive personality? she believes that it that was shaped, molded and trained from infancy to obey, military style, and either find happiness with it or suffer silently, *period. apparently, the training wasn't in opposition to an overwhelmingly inherent dominant personality, and it took...like a duck to water. part 2. why did this slave chose to enter into a Master/slave relationship? a) at 36 y/o and a lifelong failure at vanilla-styled relationships, she still wasn't convinced that her submissive nature and training wasn't* a good match for someone out there. she was tired of trying to overcome what she perceives to be her inherent nature, with or without the years of training as a wee one, to be the "dominant/wholly independent and egalitarian relationship partner" that those she kept running across in vanilla society kept telling her was the ONLY healthy way to be, in or out of any sort of relationship. b) the offspring were on the way out of needing someone to serve them, and this slave was looking forward. c) the one who was in authority over her prior to Master told her to "go for it", supported her endeavors completely and told her that it would make her extremely happy to see this slave in a happy, intimate relationship with someone who would cherish her/not try to change her into what they deemed "socially acceptable". d) the M.D. suggested a change of "lifestyle" might help this slave in her efforts to quit smoking and the "lifestyle" dating and informational sites were linked to either swinging or BDSM. BDSM with a heavy D/s component had always been this slave's masturbatory fantasy, so she thought she hit the freakin' jackpot.[:)] she was willing to give the D/s, M/s community a shot at making a connection, if for no other reason, than to enjoy some fun and frolick that she had previously thought (over the course of her relatively sheltered life) was only possible in places like Amsterdam.

DesFIP -> RE: Question to all subs (11/6/2008 1:57:13 PM)
Hard wired for it is my best guess. I am not competitive, I shun competition. I absolutely hate having the possibility of failure. Leaders are people with a lot more bravery than me, they risk failure. I'm a lot happier being someone's valued assistant than being the boss with all the responsibility in my lap. That's me. For other people I know it's the other way around. It is because they are the leaders in their public life that they desire and need a chance to just do what they're told in private. They need a break from the constant responsibility. For those, this allows them to recharge. It's a vacation from stress is you will.

Chgolostnlooking -> RE: Question to all subs (11/6/2008 2:01:14 PM)
I've always felt like I wanted to serve. Cleaning for a strong woman and getting either a "good", or a "not good enough" is just the type of feedback I want. It's really hard to say. I've always been pulled this way.

RCdc -> RE: Question to all subs (11/6/2008 2:21:43 PM)
Because Master desires it. the.dark.

tazzygirl -> RE: Question to all subs (11/6/2008 2:48:26 PM)
because its what i have always been, trained to be... pleasing.. even as a young girl.. my goal was to please my father. i found i grew and flourished when he was happiest with my efforts. tazzy

littleone35 -> RE: Question to all subs (11/6/2008 3:50:00 PM)
Why am i a sub? I have always been one even as a child. I guess i was just born this way. Matt's littleone

kallisto -> RE: Question to all subs (11/6/2008 3:58:12 PM)
Why? Because it's who I am .. and always have been. I guess I'll have to go with Matt's littlone's answer - because I was born this way. [:)]

trueshadow -> RE: Question to all subs (11/6/2008 4:00:06 PM)
At first I took this to mean, why do I identify as one or another. However, I guess you mean, why am I a slave? For one thing, acting as a slave, or fantasizing about being one, makes me sexually aroused. As to why? Who knows? Nature or nurture, or a combination of both. (I vote for nurture.)

WildHoneyPie -> RE: Question to all subs (11/6/2008 4:32:22 PM)
Because it completes me. Because it fills me with peace and serenity. Because it is who I am.

littlewonder -> RE: Question to all subs (11/6/2008 4:55:52 PM)
Whether I am sub or slave depends on who I am with and how the chemistry of our dynamic works out. I have been with men where I was submissive. I have been with others where I have been a slave. Currently I'm a slave because that's just how our power dynamic has worked out. It was the flow of the relationship from the beginning, our compatibility towards each other. It's not planned and it's not thought out. It just happens that way.

ShiftedJewel -> RE: Question to all subs (11/6/2008 6:02:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Hanable ok.. me and my mother got into a .. argument i guess u could say. about why subs/slaves are submissives or slaves. i thought id go to the sourse and ask directly. Why are you a sub or slave? if you know why that is.. if not i understand. H >:) I would suggest that you counter that question with your own... why is she who and what she is? The answer would be the same... we're all who we are because that's just who we are. Like I always say... we're where we are cuz' that's where we went. *Jewel*

Lilith13 -> RE: Question to all subs (11/6/2008 6:12:41 PM)
For me, it's love. I love my s.o. so much and it took so long to win her, I want to be entirely lost in my love for her; submission was the way for me to do that. It's transcendent. It's a state of ecstasy.

monywildcat -> RE: Question to all subs (11/6/2008 6:20:33 PM)
Why is my hair brown? Why am I short? I see being a submissive female (for the most part) as just being a part of who I am. Perhaps I am hardwired that way. Perhaps my upbringing sowed some seeds into this aspect of my personality. There may not be an "a ha!" moment in the past that would point to why I am the way I am, but that's okay with me. It's not the "why" but rather what am I going to do about it, how will I find fulfillment. I think I'm doing okay so far. [:D]

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