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Question to all subs - 11/6/2008 12:59:51 PM   
Hanable


Posts: 3284
Joined: 3/19/2007
From: BFE ohio
Status: offline 		ok.. me and my mother got into a .. argument i guess u could say. about why subs/slaves are submissives or slaves. i thought id go to the sourse and ask directly.

Why are you a sub or slave?

if you know why that is.. if not i understand.

H >:)

_____________________________

Will you be my hooker??


Forum Rankings

Fate: a horribly wonderful thing

http://www.tshirthell.com/store/link.php?id=SGFuYWJsZQ==

http://dragcave.net/user/Hanable
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Question to all subs - 11/6/2008 1:03:52 PM   
Barelily


Posts: 96
Joined: 10/8/2008
Status: offline 		There is no "why", it's just there, always has been.

_____________________________

"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that that take your breath away."

(in reply to Hanable)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Question to all subs - 11/6/2008 1:04:52 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		I dunno. Cause this stuff has turned me on as long as I can remember?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Hanable)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Question to all subs - 11/6/2008 1:10:21 PM   
sappatoti


Posts: 14844
Joined: 10/30/2006
From: the edge of darkness...
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hanable

ok.. me and my mother got into a .. argument i guess u could say. about why subs/slaves are submissives or slaves. i thought id go to the sourse and ask directly.

Why are you a sub or slave?

if you know why that is.. if not i understand.

H >:)


One is who and what they are. There is no more a reason why some are submissive as there is to why some are constantly happy... or pessimistic... or a dominant... or a leader... or a... hell, pick any personality trait.

I gave up a long, long time ago trying to figure out why I do the things I do or behave the way I do. Life is too short, in my opinon, to be spent trying to figure such things out. I'd rather just "do" and enjoy it.

_____________________________

Never mind the man on the edge of the darkness... he means no harm...

"Community, Identity, Stability." ~ A Brave New World, Aldous Huxley, 1932

If you don't like my attitude, QUIT TALKING TO ME!

(in reply to Hanable)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Question to all subs - 11/6/2008 1:16:02 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline 		I've always been pretty much an old-fashioned southern gentleman, it turns out that translates pretty well into being a submissive.  Actually, I went to a club with a friend and ended up hired as a pro/stage bottom and thought that I was being a submissive; eventually I found somebody who absolutely made me feel submissive to Her and my life hasn't been the same since.

Why am I a submissive?  Because it's the most comfortable way for me to interact with women.


_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to sappatoti)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Question to all subs - 11/6/2008 1:25:33 PM   
slavelet


Posts: 42
Joined: 3/29/2008
Status: offline 		i admit i dont have a complete understanding of WHY i am both submissive and slave...

but...

it feels both completely self-less and selfish at once.

Moments of disappointment due to a sacrifice, to please him... ultimately make me amazingly happy and content. Just because i pleased him.

_____________________________

Don't sweat the petty stuff...just pet the sweaty stuff

Fear me ~ i am the killer of threads

Kindly disregard one of the above sig lines.

i am not a pain slut... i am a sensation slut

cunning stunt

(in reply to Hanable)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Question to all subs - 11/6/2008 1:42:53 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		I identify as a switch but I prefer to be submissive in relationships with males. 
I am this way because of, first and foremost, my nature, my choice, and my life experiences. 
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to slavelet)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Question to all subs - 11/6/2008 1:55:42 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

Why are you a sub or slave?


it's going to be a two part answer for this slave, because she observes a distinct difference in being submissive, as in posessing a submissive personality, versus choosing to submit and labelling it with the distinction of "submissive" or "slave", in the context of a negotiated D/s or M/s relationship.

part 1.  why is this slave is in posession of a submissive personality?
she believes that it that was shaped, molded and trained from infancy to obey, military style, and either find happiness with it or suffer silently, period.
apparently, the training wasn't in opposition to an overwhelmingly inherent dominant personality, and it took...like a duck to water.
 
part 2.  why did this slave chose to enter into a Master/slave relationship?
 
a) at 36 y/o and a lifelong failure at vanilla-styled relationships, she still wasn't convinced that her submissive nature and training wasn't a good match for someone out there. she was tired of trying to overcome what she perceives to be her inherent nature, with or without the years of training as a wee one, to be the "dominant/wholly independent and egalitarian relationship partner" that those she kept running across in vanilla society kept telling her was the ONLY healthy way to be, in or out of any sort of relationship. 
 
b)  the offspring were on the way out of needing someone to serve them, and this slave was looking forward.
 
c) the one who was in authority over her prior to Master told her to "go for it", supported her endeavors completely and told her that it would make her extremely happy to see this slave in a happy, intimate relationship with someone who would cherish her/not try to change her into what they deemed "socially acceptable".
 
d) the M.D. suggested a change of "lifestyle" might help this slave in her efforts to quit smoking and the "lifestyle" dating and informational sites were linked to either swinging or BDSM.  BDSM with a heavy D/s component had always been this slave's masturbatory fantasy, so she thought she hit the freakin' jackpot.  she was willing to give the D/s, M/s community a shot at making a connection, if for no other reason, than to enjoy some fun and frolick that she had previously thought (over the course of her relatively sheltered life) was only possible in places like Amsterdam.

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 11/6/2008 2:04:15 PM >

(in reply to Hanable)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Question to all subs - 11/6/2008 1:57:13 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Hard wired for it is my best guess. I am not competitive, I shun competition. I absolutely hate having the possibility of failure. Leaders are people with a lot more bravery than me, they risk failure. I'm a lot happier being someone's valued assistant than being the boss with all the responsibility in my lap. That's me.

For other people I know it's the other way around. It is because they are the leaders in their public life that they desire and need a chance to just do what they're told in private. They need a break from the constant responsibility. For those, this allows them to recharge. It's a vacation from stress is you will.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Question to all subs - 11/6/2008 2:01:14 PM   
Chgolostnlooking


Posts: 46
Joined: 10/21/2008
Status: offline 		I've always felt like I wanted to serve.  Cleaning for a strong woman and getting either a "good", or a "not good enough" is just the type of feedback I want.

It's really hard to say.  I've always been pulled this way.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Question to all subs - 11/6/2008 2:21:43 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Because Master desires it.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Hanable)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Question to all subs - 11/6/2008 2:48:26 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		because its what i have always been, trained to be... pleasing.. even as a young girl.. my goal was to please my father.  i found i grew and flourished when he was happiest with my efforts.

tazzy

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Question to all subs - 11/6/2008 3:50:00 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Why am i a sub?  I have always been one even as a child.  I guess i was just born this way.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Question to all subs - 11/6/2008 3:58:12 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline 		Why?  Because it's who I am .. and always have been.   I guess I'll have to go with Matt's littlone's answer - because I was born this way. 

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Question to all subs - 11/6/2008 4:00:06 PM   
trueshadow


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline 		At first I took this to mean, why do I identify as one or another.  However, I guess you mean, why am I a slave?  For one thing, acting as a slave, or fantasizing about being one, makes me sexually aroused.  As to why?  Who knows?  Nature or nurture, or a combination of both.  (I vote for nurture.)

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Question to all subs - 11/6/2008 4:32:22 PM   
WildHoneyPie


Posts: 60
Joined: 9/7/2008
Status: offline 		Because it completes me.  Because it fills me with peace and serenity.  Because it is who I am.

_____________________________


Daddy´s hands weren´t always gentle
But I´ve come to understand.
There was always love in Daddy´s hands.

----Holly Dunn

(in reply to trueshadow)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Question to all subs - 11/6/2008 4:55:52 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Whether I am sub or slave depends on who I am with and how the chemistry of our dynamic works out.

I have been with men where I was submissive. I have been with others where I have been a slave.

Currently I'm a slave because that's just how our power dynamic has worked out. It was the flow of the relationship from the beginning, our compatibility towards each other.

It's not planned and it's not thought out. It just happens that way.

(in reply to WildHoneyPie)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Question to all subs - 11/6/2008 6:02:52 PM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hanable

ok.. me and my mother got into a .. argument i guess u could say. about why subs/slaves are submissives or slaves. i thought id go to the sourse and ask directly.

Why are you a sub or slave?

if you know why that is.. if not i understand.

H >:)


I would suggest that you counter that question with your own... why is she who and what she is? The answer would be the same... we're all who we are because that's just who we are. Like I always say... we're where we are cuz' that's where we went.
 
Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to Hanable)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Question to all subs - 11/6/2008 6:12:41 PM   
Lilith13


Posts: 20
Joined: 11/2/2008
From: Takoma Park, Maryland
Status: offline 		For me, it's love. I love my s.o. so much and it took so long to win her, I want to be entirely lost in my love for her; submission was the way for me to do that. It's transcendent. It's a state of ecstasy.

_____________________________

Feels so good, it must be wrong.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Question to all subs - 11/6/2008 6:20:33 PM   
monywildcat


Posts: 452
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline 		Why is my hair brown?  Why am I short?  I see being a submissive female (for the most part) as just being a part of who I am.  Perhaps I am hardwired that way.  Perhaps my upbringing sowed some seeds into this aspect of my personality.  There may not be an "a ha!" moment in the past that would point to why I am the way I am, but that's okay with me.  It's not the "why" but rather what am I going to do about it, how will I find fulfillment.  I think I'm doing okay so far. 

_____________________________

Major Life Change Necessitates Personal Reinvention...

(in reply to Lilith13)
Profile   Post #: 20
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