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How NOT to contact a Dominant [first impressions ] - 8/6/2004 8:51:12 AM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I am posting this information to give a sample to those slaves what
I and Im sure other Dominant Mistresses do NOT like in first contacts.
The names have been changed to protect the guilty

First contact:[slave writes Mistress]

quote:

Impressive profile.
I love your interests as well.
I have XXXamount of years experience as a slave/pain slut.
I would be very interested.
I have pics to share as well.
regards,
want to be your slave if youll have me


First contact: [Mistress writes slave]

quote:

I might be simple in My living boy but extream in My expectations of slaves that serve for the joy of such. Ask Me first if you may address Me befor doing so. My profile is up not to impress but to show who I am and what I am always seeking. I do not accept apoligies so do not give one however I expect slaves whom make mistakes in My eyes to correct their actions for the future so in the future ask Dominants if you may have a word befor taking it. JMO. whom has Owned you and what type of contacts have you served under? were you given your malumation papers on release or did you leave your Owner with out departure papers? Do you even beleive in contracts and use them? what BDSM Societies do you belong to? What is your opinion on third world living in the USA? do you shave or not? Have you kept journals thru out your Ownerships and while single with in your servitude? Am I able to read such ? are the pictures
you offer to Me those taken of you by another or those taken professionally or ones you have taken your self? What is your current status as slave today. you have mentioned long years of service and yet in all these years have not aquired a perminant kolar, why is this? More questions of you to come but this is a good start for Me....


Second contact:[slave writes Mistress]

quote:

Mistress,
ty for responding.
unfortunately i am at work right now, and dont have the proper time to spend on your questions.
i will ttyl
regards
want to be your slave if youll have me


Second contact: [Mistress writes slave]

quote:

hmmm it seems you dident put much thought into your online actions.
I suggest if you cannot answer questions requested of you after you
contact sumone. It might be better if you do not contact anyone till
you can follow thru............ JMO
You have lost your chance to make a positive empression to Me.


Third contact:[slave writes Mistress]

quote:

sorry you feel that way.
owning a business sucks sometimes.
busy today.
just being honest with you.
be well
want to be your slave if youll have me


Third contact: [Mistress writes slave]

quote:

HA!
as I said,
dont start what you cant finish.
This shows much in how you
handle things. Now go back to work
for you have allready responded
with sumthing other then what
was asked for hence you did have
time to provide what I asked for.
But dident. Return to your business.


JMO

< Message edited by MistressDREAD -- 8/6/2004 8:54:13 AM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How NOT to contact a Dominant [first impressions ] - 8/6/2004 10:03:12 AM   
LadyBeckett


Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline 		Well now, Dread, once you told him that he had lost his opportunity to make a positive impression on you, why did you bother with him anymore? He must be worth a grain of salt if you are going to give him any more of your time. lol Whip him into shape, Sister. lol

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: How NOT to contact a Dominant [first impressions ] - 8/6/2004 10:38:28 AM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I did such Beckett because I knew what responce I would attain from him and I wanted to use this as a sample here for beginners or for subs or slaves whats not desired by many Mistresses and Dominants. There is a method to My madness at times ...........

(in reply to LadyBeckett)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: How NOT to contact a Dominant [first impressions ] - 8/6/2004 11:33:41 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDREAD

I am posting this information to give a sample to those slaves what
I and Im sure other Dominant Mistresses do NOT like in first contacts.
The names have been changed to protect the guilty

First contact:[slave writes Mistress]

quote:

Impressive profile.
I love your interests as well.
I have XXXamount of years experience as a slave/pain slut.
I would be very interested.
I have pics to share as well.
regards,
want to be your slave if youll have me



Hey Dread. I don’t actually mind that approach. I mind the approaches where they get all pervy and potty mouthed. I’m not the boss of them until we consent. Also, the questions I would ask would be significantly different then yours.

All this means is that you and I have a different approach which is absolutely fantastic!

I do agree with you putting him in his place with his lack of respect in his response to you.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: How NOT to contact a Dominant [first impressions ] - 8/6/2004 11:51:40 AM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Actually I use many different approches according to how they approch Me.
This was only one sample that I kind of set up in order Once I was contacted to show one sample of such a interaction for learning.....

and I agree those subbie wanna be slaves whom contact Me first then say
you cannot tell Me what to do you dont own Me crap when I do respond
with requests for information or give a direction to see their responce and they do not respond in a slavelike manner, I block on sight...

I get a average of 20 requests a day from submissives and slaves and I am a more Mature Mistress that Id say is way out on the outskirts of a Desired type Mistress so I can just imagine how many hits the Younger more stream lined Mistresses get......It is most definatly a pick and choose whom We will deal with out there so slaves and submissives be aware that your best foot forward the FIRST time will gain attention and a wrong placed foot a missed shot at what might of been a great relationship.

JMO

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How NOT to contact a Dominant [first impressions ] - 8/6/2004 1:23:53 PM   
iwillserveu


Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		So let me get this straight? His first message was reply worthy. Her first message was reply worthy. He was busy and wrote a "I got your message but don't have time to reply well. Talk to you later."

And he is wrong? Of course, he should be silent if he can't respond in depth.

Well, if he is trading e-mail with Dread.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: How NOT to contact a Dominant [first impressions ] - 8/6/2004 1:29:22 PM   
LadyBeckett


Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline 		Right, he should have postponed his response until he could dedicate the time, effort, and sincerity to responding correctly. Further than that, if he had the time to be online, and browsing around at collarme, why didn't he have the time to dedicate the time, effort, and sincerity to responding correctly right then? She wasn't expecting a life history. It was just a few simple questions.

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to iwillserveu)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How NOT to contact a Dominant [first impressions ] - 8/6/2004 1:47:16 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

(in reply to LadyBeckett)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How NOT to contact a Dominant [first impressions ] - 8/6/2004 1:57:36 PM   
iwillserveu


Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		At work, maybe he has a few minutes between projects. I know I've been waiting for something to heat up, something else to cool down, and a third thing to mix. I have a few minutes where I can't do anything. Unfortunately I share a computer with 5 other people and the MIS guys would ask "what is this collarme site?". Otherwise I would come here and check my mail. How do you know he is cruising profiles and still looking? Domina ESP?

He said he did not have time to respond to her questions, not why.

Is it rude to send a compliment saying it is a good letter and I can't do it justice right now.

Hell I can go from bored out of my skull at work to too busy to breath. I would assume that is not impossible.

Am I "effeminately succking up" enough, M'Lady? (Hope you catch the reference, and thanks again.)

< Message edited by iwillserveu -- 8/6/2004 1:59:12 PM >

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to LadyBeckett)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How NOT to contact a Dominant [first impressions ] - 8/6/2004 2:14:59 PM   
MistressZanthia


Posts: 88
Joined: 7/2/2004
From: Seattle, Washington, USA
Status: offline 		His first letter would've netted a response from me like this:

"Sorry boy,
But if you cannot take the time to be specific about what interested you in my profile I don't have time for lazy "form letter" slaves."

And I would've closed further communication from him right off.

I saw that letter as a form letter, nothing in it was specific to you, or any other Domina. He probably sent it out to every Lady in the area, to see who'd bite. A "trolling" form letter.

A boy has to make a personal connection with me some way, whether it's using his own personality or commenting on mine, I don't care, but it has to be personal. I've had form letters that'd make you think they were talking personally to you, but were complete fluff and nonsense.

So boys, what not to do? Don't send out form letters! We know what they look like. And
DREAD, I'm just sorry you wasted your time with this one. Thanks for posting it however, because many sub/slaves need to know what doesn't work. Which I have to say makes me think this slave here isn't nearly as experienced in the lifestyle as he portrayed himself to be.

_____________________________

~*Zan*~
www.zanthia.com

(in reply to iwillserveu)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How NOT to contact a Dominant [first impressions ] - 8/6/2004 2:46:19 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		actually iwll
when he answered after My first replay and then again after the second both of those could of answered My questions hence if he had time to post a second and third time to Me he had time to answer Me as well.................JMO

This was HIS business as well and I dont know about you iwill but I run My Own businesses and I am more then able to take 5 mins to tend to things that I start, and not only this but I watched how long he was online here on collarme AFTER replying to Me a fourth and fifth time to see how honest he was about his saying he was busy else where in his business and he dident leave online till allmost a half hour after his last responce to Me. My opinion is he dident want to answer My questions after realizing his mistakes and seen I was serious about how a slave is to come to Me. As the Title says to this post..................................

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How NOT to contact a Dominant [first impressions ] - 8/6/2004 3:08:33 PM   
melycious


Posts: 45
Joined: 1/20/2004
Status: offline 		~chuckles and adds my 2 cents.. if this is how folks are rating potential subs.. then please please let me stay uncollared....

i frequently log on to collarme and alt.. and am not even home, if you are using that as a measure of my dedication to my quest, its a sad mile marker..

personally i applaud that person for being polite enough to say, i'm sorry i cant respond to you now, but will do so later.. better manners then many have...

and.. if the 3rd degree is any indication of how quickly you move into major issues from a basic email, i certainly would not have responded back... many of us dont choose to reveal such intimate details of our past lives in the 2nd email, and thank heavens we dont, the ability to have boundries and common sense are what makes folks worthwhile to have in our lives.

Dont get me wrong, it may be that this person was looking for nothing more then a quick cyber fuck, it happens, but, if you eliminate everyone that quickly by being that blunt, perhaps you are bulldozing past someone who is truly worthy of the attention, and with some time and relationship building would want to share that info with you...

to be honest, many times i get emails like yours from dom/mes, and all it does is reenforce that perhaps that person doesnt feel in charge of their life and abilities unless they make someone they barely know squirm...

of course..thats just my opinion and who knows.. i might even be wrong

mely

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How NOT to contact a Dominant [first impressions ] - 8/6/2004 3:52:00 PM   
SherriA


Posts: 544
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDREAD
I watched how long he was online here on collarme AFTER replying to Me a fourth and fifth time to see how honest he was about his saying he was busy else where in his business and he dident leave online till allmost a half hour after his last responce to Me.


FWIW, I don't think the "who's online" indicators are particularly accurate. Just this week, when we were leaving for work Suz mentioned to me that I was still on collarme. I wasn't. I didn't have any browser windows open, and hadn't for half an hour. Collarme still showed me as being online though.

_____________________________

-- Sherri

Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How NOT to contact a Dominant [first impressions ] - 8/6/2004 5:47:10 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressZanthia
I saw that letter as a form letter, nothing in it was specific to you, or any other Domina. He probably sent it out to every Lady in the area, to see who'd bite. A "trolling" form letter.

A boy has to make a personal connection with me some way, whether it's using his own personality or commenting on mine, I don't care, but it has to be personal. I've had form letters that'd make you think they were talking personally to you, but were complete fluff and nonsense.


You are right about the form letter approach. However, I’ve seen elaborate form letters. And one way to see if a man is sending you form letters is to open up an alias profile with similar criteria to yours and see if you get responses on it. I’ve caught a few liars that way. One man said to me that he had found someone else but then ended up messaging my alternate profile to cruise me. *Whap!* And it goes on. I have not done it this time around however. It’s a lot of maintenance.

But regarding the form of this man’s letter, I did get a very simple letter like that from a man at one time and it was because he was somewhat timid and nervous contacting me and didn't want to say anything wrong. I took the time to get to know him and it was very much worth it.

I don't think that we can make a blanket statement. What works for one person won't work for the other. At times my instinct tells me to delve deeper, and at times it tells me to flush the note.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to MistressZanthia)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How NOT to contact a Dominant [first impressions ] - 8/6/2004 8:18:11 PM   
MistressJada


Posts: 7
Joined: 8/2/2004
Status: offline 		I'd like to say something about grammar and thoroughness here as well. I've had contact with some slaves who claim to want a 24/7 Mistress. However, they blatantly ignore my questions. They also use horrible grammar, making me think that they are probably typing with one hand and hardly even looking at the computer screen. Is that the sort of poor attentiveness and lack of attention to detail that they think will make them a "graet slav, Mistress, i will serv u all the tim can't wait to hear back." Please.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How NOT to contact a Dominant [first impressions ] - 8/6/2004 8:51:06 PM   
LadyBeckett


Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SherriA

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDREAD
I watched how long he was online here on collarme AFTER replying to Me a fourth and fifth time to see how honest he was about his saying he was busy else where in his business and he dident leave online till allmost a half hour after his last responce to Me.


FWIW, I don't think the "who's online" indicators are particularly accurate. Just this week, when we were leaving for work Suz mentioned to me that I was still on collarme. I wasn't. I didn't have any browser windows open, and hadn't for half an hour. Collarme still showed me as being online though.


I meant to say something in response to this earlier and didn't. I never "log" out, I X out, but I am always online because I have cable, unless I shut my system down. Apparently collarme shows me as being here 24/7. lol Actually I live here. Going back to my little room behind the message boards...

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to SherriA)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How NOT to contact a Dominant [first impressions ] - 8/7/2004 2:27:47 AM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Actually melycious
it was a slave I was addressing
not a sub first off......
My system of doing things
for Me has worked quite
well over the past 16 years
here online thankyou........
My bulldozing has done wonders
for Me the past 3o years in
real life as well concerning slaves.
FYI. I am quite sure your 2 cents
would not gain My attention at all
for a prospect......JMO ~smiles~

I will take note on the subject of
people showing up as being online
when not actually present however
....damn a room behind the message
boards?? hahahahahah!Now I know
what that noise was I was hearin....

(in reply to LadyBeckett)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How NOT to contact a Dominant [first impressions ] - 8/7/2004 2:36:26 AM   
iwillserveu


Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		OK. Let's assume those "on-line" things are accurate. He could log on to check his e-mail, read it, then go back to work leaving the computer on until the screen saver goes on. (I've seen this behavior way too much. It must drive the MIS guys nuts.)

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How NOT to contact a Dominant [first impressions ] - 8/7/2004 8:44:55 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDREAD

My system of doing things
for Me has worked quite
well over the past 16 years
here online thankyou........
My bulldozing has done wonders
for Me the past 3o years in
real life as well concerning slaves.



Dread -

Your original post has some valid points to it. I went and read your profile and if this twerp thought he had a snowball's chance in hell with you, he is highly delusional.

I think that is the crux off all this. We Dommes are different. You have a much more "bulldozer" approach then me. Which is just fine. I don't see myself as more or less dominant because my approach is different, nor am I implying that you or anyone else has suggested that. Rather I'm simply remarking on the various styles of dominance.

Let me make an analogy --

Road trip with me:
Here’s a map. Look at it, tell me where you want to go. Now that I have this information, I’ll plan the trip, I’ll drive. And brace yourself as it will be a bumpy ride.

Road trip with Dread:
Gag, bound, blindfolded in the back seat, no idea where the hell Dread is going, slave boy’s heart and mind racing.

And in the end, both of us are happy and content with ourselves and find those men and women who love us the way we are.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How NOT to contact a Dominant [first impressions ] - 8/7/2004 9:27:59 AM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

They also use horrible grammar, making me think that they are probably typing with one hand and hardly even looking at the computer screen.


*glares at the cast on his hand*

It is theoretically possible to type one-handed and still maintain a reasonable erudition and grammatical correctness in what one types.

Just me, could be wrong, etc.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 20
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