RE: Want opinions on this please

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agirl -> RE: Want opinions on this please (11/23/2008 3:07:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mystickoolaid quote: ORIGINAL: Maya2001 Some people also get off on mental sadism or mind fucks which could include suggestive outing, sugg estive public display/humiliation/degradation within private play without actual intent to do so.. as the suggestive imagery of doing is enough of get off on and creates the big O . This wasnt an idle threat. (If it was real... sorry I keep having to say that so people dont start with bashing me for believing it, which I never professed to) How do you know that it* wasn't an idle threat*? All you have is a story that you've been told and no way of discerning anything concrete, idle or not. agirl

mystickoolaid -> RE: Want opinions on this please (11/23/2008 5:45:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: mystickoolaid quote: ORIGINAL: Maya2001 Some people also get off on mental sadism or mind fucks which could include suggestive outing, sugg estive public display/humiliation/degradation within private play without actual intent to do so.. as the suggestive imagery of doing is enough of get off on and creates the big O . This wasnt an idle threat. (If it was real... sorry I keep having to say that so people dont start with bashing me for believing it, which I never professed to) How do you know that it* wasn't an idle threat*? All you have is a story that you've been told and no way of discerning anything concrete, idle or not. agirl Made up or not, the supposed perpetrator admitted to all of it. Whether the story is real or fantasy, that part was discussed. I enjoy good fiction, so it doesn't really matter to me if the story is real or not.

mistoferin -> RE: Want opinions on this please (11/23/2008 8:45:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mystickoolaid He didn't enjoy it, and supposedly "she" admitted to doing it. I think the treatment of a sub/slave should make the relationship enjoyable and agreeable to both, but some Dominants would disagree with me. Are you really serious? Every dominant I have ever been with has done stuff that I did NOT find enjoyable. Every submissive that I have ever known has had a dominant do things they did NOT find enjoyable. All those dominants would gladly admit that they they did things that their submissives did not find enjoyable. Are you telling me that D/s and M/s relationships have suddenly become about D types always catering to the pleasure wants of s types? D types have to refrain from anything their s type does not enjoy? Ummmmm.....the fact that D types do things that s types are not particularly fond of is a part of the dynamic....for some a very big part. Maybe we should blacklist them all?

camille65 -> RE: Want opinions on this please (11/23/2008 9:11:00 AM)
I don't wanna be blacklisted erin. But I guess I will be because he has done things or had me do things I hated. When I became his it wasn't with the qualification that only happy fun things happen.

mystickoolaid -> RE: Want opinions on this please (11/23/2008 11:13:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin quote: ORIGINAL: mystickoolaid He didn't enjoy it, and supposedly "she" admitted to doing it. I think the treatment of a sub/slave should make the relationship enjoyable and agreeable to both, but some Dominants would disagree with me. Are you really serious? Every dominant I have ever been with has done stuff that I did NOT find enjoyable. Every submissive that I have ever known has had a dominant do things they did NOT find enjoyable. All those dominants would gladly admit that they they did things that their submissives did not find enjoyable. Are you telling me that D/s and M/s relationships have suddenly become about D types always catering to the pleasure wants of s types? D types have to refrain from anything their s type does not enjoy? Ummmmm.....the fact that D types do things that s types are not particularly fond of is a part of the dynamic....for some a very big part. Maybe we should blacklist them all? Again, those of you who are unable to see past what you WANT to read, are assuming I meant it should always be fun and games for a sub. That isn't what I meant. I meant that both parties should be happy with their relationship IN GENERAL. Even vanilla relationships require both parties to do things they don't like from time to time. Having someone go out and get sunburned intentionally just so you can beat the crap out of them is pushing the limits of extreme in my opinion. I sunburn easily and badly being a redhead, so maybe it isnt as bad for other people.

slavegirljoy -> RE: Want opinions on this please (11/23/2008 11:18:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys quote: ORIGINAL: slavegirljoy Nothing as severe as what you described but, a couple of times i have forgotten to use sun block when my Master took me fishing. He punished me for being careless with His property by repeatedly slapping my burned skin. joy Master David's erotic-domestic slave Anybody else find humor in this?[:D] Yes. Master David found it to be very humorous. He took great pleasure in it and laughed with every slap to my burned skin, while i moaned and squealed in pain. A perfect punishment: my lesson and his enjoyment. joy Master David's erotic-domestic slave

CalifChick -> RE: Want opinions on this please (11/23/2008 12:55:22 PM)
Burns of any sort are a hard limit for me. If you (generic "you") enjoy them, then who I am to say you're a weirdo? [;)] Cali

mistoferin -> RE: Want opinions on this please (11/23/2008 1:18:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mystickoolaid Again, those of you who are unable to see past what you WANT to read, are assuming I meant it should always be fun and games for a sub. That isn't what I meant. I meant that both parties should be happy with their relationship IN GENERAL. Even vanilla relationships require both parties to do things they don't like from time to time. Having someone go out and get sunburned intentionally just so you can beat the crap out of them is pushing the limits of extreme in my opinion. I sunburn easily and badly being a redhead, so maybe it isnt as bad for other people. Maybe you should stop and think for a moment that maybe, just maybe, it is not "us" who are unable to see. You're pretty new here so it's kind of hard to tell but what I have been noticing is that you seem to be having some difficulties being understood nearly every time you post. To some...that might be a clue. Regardless, it is YOUR OPINION that this was extreme. Do you see the key words in that sentence? The problem comes in when we start tossing around terms like blacklisting when we are talking about your opinion on someone else's kink in a relationship that you have no definitive knowledge of.

RCdc -> RE: Want opinions on this please (11/23/2008 1:38:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mystickoolaid I'm not sure if this is the correct place for this thread or not... but anyhow... I was talking to a potential sub and he told me he was 'sunstrapped'. I had never heard of this before, so I asked what it was. This is the response I got: that is where i was made to lay out in sun till i was sunburned...then my owner took a thin leather belt and whpped my back FULL FORCE over the sunburned back, about 100 lashes usually...it was for SEVERE punishments ...i hated it, but i admit it has humbled me more What do you guys think? Reasonable punishment or abuse? Neither. It was his choice to accept it. It was hers to initiate it. It is choice. I do not see this abusive at all. the.dark.

mystickoolaid -> RE: Want opinions on this please (11/23/2008 2:29:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin quote: ORIGINAL: mystickoolaid Again, those of you who are unable to see past what you WANT to read, are assuming I meant it should always be fun and games for a sub. That isn't what I meant. I meant that both parties should be happy with their relationship IN GENERAL. Even vanilla relationships require both parties to do things they don't like from time to time. Having someone go out and get sunburned intentionally just so you can beat the crap out of them is pushing the limits of extreme in my opinion. I sunburn easily and badly being a redhead, so maybe it isnt as bad for other people. Maybe you should stop and think for a moment that maybe, just maybe, it is not "us" who are unable to see. You're pretty new here so it's kind of hard to tell but what I have been noticing is that you seem to be having some difficulties being understood nearly every time you post. To some...that might be a clue. Regardless, it is YOUR OPINION that this was extreme. Do you see the key words in that sentence? The problem comes in when we start tossing around terms like blacklisting when we are talking about your opinion on someone else's kink in a relationship that you have no definitive knowledge of. I never said anything about blacklisting this person. As far as I know, blacklists don't exist in RL. That was another person who said that. I've noticed that a small percentage of people on the boards take things and run with them, and make it what they want it to be. Not ALL, but definitely some. Pretty much every thread has someone or multiple someones misunderstanding something that was said, or taking it and running with it to a level that they just basically 'made up' out of what was said. As well as people not liking to stick with the OP and answer a question, but turning the whole thread into some other argument.

mystickoolaid -> RE: Want opinions on this please (11/23/2008 2:31:38 PM)
I shouldn't have to talk 'down' for the benefit of certain members of this forum. If you don't understand me, or what I am asking, want to read into it rather than taking it for what it is, or want to talk about something completely off topic from the original concept, just don't bother posting. I don't find that helpful, neither do most other people on here.

mistoferin -> RE: Want opinions on this please (11/23/2008 3:10:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin Maybe you should stop and think for a moment.... How did I know that this was just going to be too much to hope for?

mystickoolaid -> RE: Want opinions on this please (11/23/2008 3:21:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin Maybe you should stop and think for a moment.... How did I know that this was just going to be too much to hope for? Then there are those who like to criticize and generally act like a child... and try to stir things up for no apparent reason in a public forum...

sexisubi -> RE: Want opinions on this please (11/23/2008 3:32:35 PM)
The question is not what do i think... it's what does s/he think? It sounds like s/he tolerated it... Personally i couldn't do it, i don't have the stamina reason i try to do everything right though... so i can get what i want not what i hate. Is this abuse? If the submissive was outside said the safe word and the Dom did nothing... abuse would be possible... if the submissive said can we do a different punishment, i understand what i did was wrong and i am willing to face the consiquences but this is a limit... then yes it's abuse. If the person said nothing and totally was tolerent of it, then what is the problem?

mystickoolaid -> RE: Want opinions on this please (11/23/2008 3:43:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexisubi The question is not what do i think... it's what does s/he think? It sounds like s/he tolerated it... Personally i couldn't do it, i don't have the stamina reason i try to do everything right though... so i can get what i want not what i hate. Is this abuse? If the submissive was outside said the safe word and the Dom did nothing... abuse would be possible... if the submissive said can we do a different punishment, i understand what i did was wrong and i am willing to face the consiquences but this is a limit... then yes it's abuse. If the person said nothing and totally was tolerent of it, then what is the problem? He didn't want the punishment, but the Domme in question told him to say that he hated her and she would stop, although it would have been a lie which apparently would have garnered MORE punishment... and he couldn't/wouldn't say it. Not much point if he was just going to get beaten more or in a different way for lying, I'd say.

sexisubi -> RE: Want opinions on this please (11/23/2008 3:52:40 PM)
if you dont want to be there... there is the door. s/he could have gone some where else... was there a neighbor? if it was abuse and the person thought it abuse and said let me in and the person said no, and then sub says safe word... and person says no.. then sub says let me in this is too much i cant do this... Dom says no... then let me in or im going to the neighbors and start walking to the neighbors... because if one is being abused one should not take it... -ever-. if they take it then they didnt mind it that much.

colouredin -> RE: Want opinions on this please (11/23/2008 3:56:34 PM)
Hmmm just a point but does anyone want to be punished? Context is important for any of these things, i can see that you are using caps to make sure everyone knows how extreme you think it is, thats fine its not for you, for some it wouldnt be extreme at all. Abuse is a tricky word some people use it in a differant way to how i do. But in terms of how i see it, i cant say if its abuse or not, an activity in and of itself isnt abusive.

mystickoolaid -> RE: Want opinions on this please (11/23/2008 4:06:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: colouredin Hmmm just a point but does anyone want to be punished? Context is important for any of these things, i can see that you are using caps to make sure everyone knows how extreme you think it is, thats fine its not for you, for some it wouldnt be extreme at all. Abuse is a tricky word some people use it in a differant way to how i do. But in terms of how i see it, i cant say if its abuse or not, an activity in and of itself isnt abusive. Actually, I know masochists who live for 'punishment'.. it's all in the eyes of the individual, as you said. Just looking for opinions, never heard of this before and it seemed extreme by MY standards. Was wondering about others views on it.

colouredin -> RE: Want opinions on this please (11/23/2008 4:13:13 PM)
yup but you clarified punishment in comma's noting they are two seperate things. For me personally i dont have a high pain threshold and i dont think i could hold out for 100 anythings let alone on sun burnt skin.

glynn012954 -> RE: Want opinions on this please (11/23/2008 5:34:47 PM)
FYI---there was a pro-dom in San Antonio TX several years back that had dungeon room set up in a bedroom of her house that had a high rock wall around a private patio just outside a sliding glass door. She had an X-cross set up out there and she did something she called burning at the stake. She would strap a sub to the cross in the hot sun while she rested inside in the cool sipping ice tea on a lounge chair. The sub was in perfect position to observe her through the door. She would leave the sub out there for awhile till he was getting thirsty, and midly sun burned. She would then go out and offer to give him something to drink or to spray cool water mist on his back, all he had to do was accept her cat on his back. If he said no she just went back inside and waited awhile longer and then went out to make the same offer again. This was usually enough to make the sub change his limits and accept his punishment to get released from the cross. She has since moved to Panama City FL so I don't know if she is still doing this type of session or not. Just reading this thread brought back the memories.

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