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RE: Long Distance Relationship - 8/7/2004 8:46:02 PM

Posts: 22
Joined: 2/15/2004
Status: offline

Hello everyone, I've been lurking and reading for quite awhile and thought I'd post a reply to this since I have some first hand knowledge. I met my Master online in a chatroom about 3 years ago, we were about 900 miles apart. We got to know each other online and via telephone, then started with visits. I moved in with Him 1 year later and we have now been married for 8 months. Fortunately I am a nurse and was able to relocate fairly easy. We are now living a wonderful M/s life, all thanks to the internet. I do agree that local groups are a great place to meet people, I was just never brave enough to go to one alone. Master and I belong to a local group now and we've met so many nice people. Anyway, keep looking, you never know when your soul mate may pop into your life.
suzieQ slave to MasterSC

(in reply to ThorsHammer)

RE: Long Distance Relationship - 8/7/2004 9:27:00 PM

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Well here is My 20 bucks on the subject:

Since Ive been here on Collarme I have
contracted three slaves for 6 month contracts
for servitude n training and each contract was long distance
in that the slave was comming from different parts
of the US as well as outside of the Country to Me.
I expect whom I have contracted to come to Me
and have no issue providing finance for half their
trip. As luck would have it one was a long distance
Truck Driver from NY in fact so the arangement worked for Us both.
another came from ohio. I have never limited My self to simply My surroundings for what I seek and have come across subs and slaves
as well as Dominants in the most unusual places. Because
of the way I dress and the way I carry My self in public
it is quite plain for those in the public around Me to know
that I am from a Alternate Lifestyle and this alone attracts
all kinds of folks to Me or My posessions when We are out
in public not only in meeting like minds but answering questions
of those whom would really like to know more but have no
clue where to start. My hunkahunka servin suggacube from
tobago was 25 years My junior and We enjoyed every moment
of each others company so age has NOTTA damn thing to do
concerning Lifestyle desires. That is unless you are into age play.
If you do not desire to be as public as I am you can always carry
little things that show that you are into sumthing just a little bit
different such as a minacure cats tails on your key chain that you whip around on your hand when sitting to a table or in a shopping center or the all to usually hand cuffs on the necklace and bracelett or wear a unused slave kolar hooked to the side of your belt. a slave any where would know what this is hangin there all tho the public eye doesent always know.
and theres nuttin like puttin on that full kinkie leather outfit for sum attention too in your little bible town.... OHH yea by the way FYI there are several very LARGE group of christian kink groups out there so you never know that perfect lil subbie you been a dreamin bout might just be found in sunday church service as well ~wink~ Im sure you will find a way to * hookup soon........JMO=just My opinion for those whom do not know.......

Welcome back *Eru*
Like the new clothes Taggard
Welcome to collarme *suzieQ

(in reply to slavesuzieQ)

RE: Long Distance Relationship - 8/7/2004 10:06:04 PM

Posts: 22
Joined: 2/15/2004
Status: offline

Thank You for the welcome MistressDREAD.

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

RE: Long Distance Relationship - 8/8/2004 4:32:28 AM

Posts: 130
Joined: 6/23/2004
Status: offline

Hello, ThorsHammer-

quote:

This is not a "whine" or "rant" thread. I'm serious in getting your responses.
<snip>
My questions ...... have any of you been involved in a long distance relationship? Was it successful? If so, how did you make it work? If it didn't work out, what caused it to fail?

If you are not going to whine or rant about long distance relationships, may i instead?

Please? I think i'm just going to go ahead with it anyway......

The only relationship i've had was long distance. We were close friends in college for a year, very close friends in correspondence for half a year after he graduated, then LD lovers for two and a half. It's difficult to determine how or when it exactly started, but, you see, we already had a lot of intimacy to build on or to tax out of. We were very devoted to each other, helped each other through many very difficult and painful times, wrote long and thoughtful letters to each other daily, chose books to read and discuss together, learned a language together (yes, my Latin nick is a tribute to him), spoke on the phone, and visited each other once or twice a month.

It was difficult. The fast-or-famine rhythm was not very good for either of us. It helped to have familiar activities to fall back on or reminisce about. (E.g. every Sunday morning when we were together, i'd make buckwheat pancakes, so even when we were not together, Sunday mornings were still special "O, remember those buckwheat pancakes" mornings.) It helped that we shared so many interests and knew each other's likes and dislikes so well. ("When in doubt, quote Shakespeare.") We wrote funny poems to each other, sent homemade cookies and candies in the mail, and there was always Next Time and the Plan To Be Together to look forward to.

Was it a success? I don't know. That's something i'm still trying to come to terms with. There was much that was beautiful, much that was excruciating. In the end we broke up officially because his parents disapproved, but by then we were both worn a bit thin by the distance strain, and too tired to deal with yet another obstacle.

To all who are in or are pusuing long distance relationships, i can only smile with sympathy and wish them the best. It takes courage, dedication, very good communication, and Effort, Effort, Effort.

End of whine and rant and sordid personal history.

(in reply to ThorsHammer)

RE: Long Distance Relationship - 8/8/2004 12:55:20 PM

Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline

Since the term "long-distance relationship" is kinda vague, I think it really depends how far "long-distance" is and how serious the relationship is. For example, you can have a superficial relationship with someone and driving 1/2 for that might seem far; or you might travel to the ends of the earth for that proverbial "soulmate" to establish the relationship, but there would be an expectation that one of you would eventually move so you could live together.

My own experience didn't work -- my wife (then) moved to the midwest for grad school, then took a job out there. When she first went we had an agreement that she would eventually return to the east coast, but after 5 years there she bought a house. It became obvious she had no intention of moving back or she expected me to move there, but I wouldn't move (didn't like that city) so now we are divorced. Part of it too was people evolve over time, and after 5 years with 1,500 miles between us I think we grew apart.

I do know another couple where he took a job a 3 hour drive from her (a tenured professor). That's not so far so they can be together every weekend and holidays and such. Seems to work for them, but that isn't a ridiculous distance either.

So I guess the answer to you question of can a long-distance relationship work is --it depends on how far and the type of relatinship.

(in reply to ThorsHammer)

RE: Long Distance Relationship - 8/8/2004 1:17:08 PM

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert
So I guess the answer to you question of can a long-distance relationship work is --it depends on how far and the type of relatinship.

There was another thread Dos and Don'ts covered a lot of about engaging in Long Distance Relationships and inadvertently brought up issues people had with them.

You’ll see on my profile that I will only meet local people. After 5 years of trying them, I’ve decided it’s way too hard on me emotionally. It’s a bit harder but I have realised there are plenty of awesome people in my area.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to happypervert)

RE: Long Distance Relationship - 8/8/2004 4:03:00 PM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty
There are currently two couples (all of whom are regular posters on this board) who are involved in rather public LDRs.

Make that one couple. Beginning to believe that they really don't work...though my fondest wishes are with that other couple.

Yours,
Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

RE: Long Distance Relationship - 8/8/2004 4:52:41 PM

Posts: 15
Joined: 7/18/2004
Status: offline

very cool thread, here are some thoughts.

I am currently involved in a LDR, I am in Long Island, NY, and my girl tania being in Pennsylvania. while it may not be as long as some as others have had, we do not have the personal contact that could be had if we were 15 miles from each other. we see each other every two months or so,for about a weekend, and during the other times, I keep in constant phone contact and online, several hours a week.

those that say online D/s is not possible, I beg to differ. it works for me, and can work if the effort and more importantly, the communication is there. her and I have been together over 2 years, and have plans to move in together by March. the level of trust and love is at a high for us, and at times I feel our distance acts as an even stronger sign of how uch her and I have invested and will continue to invest in this relationship.

more power to those that can make a LDR work. it takes patience with yourself and with the one you are with. something which is a very hard thing indeed to master.

Poenice.

(in reply to Estring)

RE: Long Distance Relationship - 8/9/2004 12:31:59 AM

Posts: 264
Joined: 6/6/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

Make that one couple. Beginning to believe that they really don't work...though my fondest wishes are with that other couple.

My dearest Taggard,

My deepest sympathies are with you. After meeting, talking, and dancing I feel I know you well enough to feel real sadness. It was fun to read the quips between the two of you and watch a budding romance. I know what it is like to be looking again and have nothing you are passionate about to look forward to. I've been that way most of the last two years. You will get through it. Life does go on. And remember, it only takes one to evoke that passion again.

As far as the success factor for the "other couple", Lawrence will be my friend for life whether we ever live in the same city or continue to see each other through the end of the year, so I view our friendship & our play adventures as an unqualified success. My expectations are no more than that and have been wildly met. I feel like a very lucky girl.

I will bring you a big, long hug next time we meet. I promise. I may even feel sympathetic enough to let you use me as a crash test dummy - and I don't make that offer to many.

--bailey

< Message edited by baileythorne -- 8/9/2004 12:32:23 AM >

_____________________________

Dance like no one's watching and
Love like you've never been hurt.

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

RE: Long Distance Relationship - 8/9/2004 12:35:26 AM

Posts: 264
Joined: 6/6/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Poenice

she and I have been together over 2 years, and have plans to move in together by March. the level of trust and love is at a high for us, and at times I feel our distance acts as an even stronger sign of how much we have invested and will continue to invest in this relationship.

Poe,
I'm very happy for both of you. I look forward, possibly, to meeting your girl in the future.

--bailey

_____________________________

Dance like no one's watching and
Love like you've never been hurt.

(in reply to Poenice)

RE: Long Distance Relationship - 8/9/2004 2:23:10 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: baileythorne
I will bring you a big, long hug next time we meet. I promise. I may even feel sympathetic enough to let you use me as a crash test dummy - and I don't make that offer to many.

Girl, you rock.

I would be honored, thrilled, and quite a bit nervous to use you as my crash test dummy. I would hope that Lawrence would be willing to supervise and instruct as needed.

Though, Bailey, I am not sure if I am ready to face the fact that I have been reduced to pity scenes...*laughing*

Yours,
Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to baileythorne)

RE: Long Distance Relationship - 8/11/2004 4:17:51 AM

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline

Hey Y'all-
I truly believe that LDR's can work. I think that the time and thought and investment put into one is tremendous, but that doesn't mean that I don't think that it is impossible. Improbable and tough, yes. I recently had an experience where one "didn't work out." I don't view it as a failure, but it does make me sad. It was and will continue to be a growing experience. Will it keep me from going for something I feel is right? No. Will I make sure that I express myself in the most honest way possible? Yes. Communication is vital to any relationship. A LDR is no different, perhaps a bit more demanding.
Circular, Circular, Circular-
As Always
Berlin

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new pictures!! www.ropexpert.com
also- you can catch me on www.ksexradio.com every tuesday. I co-host Baadmasters' Dungeon!!

(in reply to slavesuzieQ)

RE: Long Distance Relationship - 8/11/2004 5:42:19 AM

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Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Make that one couple. Beginning to believe that they really don't work...though my fondest wishes are with that other couple.

My sympathies to the couple which ended. I dislike seeing these things not work out.

Best wishes that you both find what you are seeking.

Sinergy

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"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to MzBerlin)

RE: Long Distance Relationship - 8/11/2004 10:30:36 PM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

I must be one weird chick cause all my relationships have started as long distance. I never meet anyone local and I do try.

Anyway, for various reasons it did not work out, any of them. I do not recommend it. I even married one of mine.

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to Estring)

RE: Long Distance Relationship - 8/12/2004 12:13:34 AM

danae

Posts: 46
Joined: 1/2/2004
Status: offline

Long distance relationships do take persistence and stamina from both parties, and creativity in a Master. lol My four year anniversary is coming up with my Master. He's in New Jersey; I'm near San Francisco. Both of us are well-entrenched in our respective coasts, and still haven't figured out how to untangle all our professional and family complications. We see each other every six weeks or so. Summers are better. We've just spent two weeks together, and he's coming for another visit next week. In between, cell phone with free long distance and unlimited anytime minutes (bless AT&T, believe it or not) and full-screen ichat vid (bless Apple) have saved my sanity. Of course local would have been better, but I remain astounded and grateful that we found each other at all.

danae

(in reply to Laura)

RE: Long Distance Relationship - 8/12/2004 10:39:58 PM

Posts: 264
Joined: 6/6/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

Though, Bailey, I am not sure if I am ready to face the fact that I have been reduced to pity scenes...*laughing*

No worries, we are even. I'll be asking for a pity dance :-)

--bailey

_____________________________

Dance like no one's watching and
Love like you've never been hurt.

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

RE: Long Distance Relationship - 8/13/2004 8:32:39 AM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty
Make that one couple.

Very sorry to hear that. Good luck to all in long distance relationships. I hope I'm never in another one. Still, I wish everyone trying to stick together the very best of luck and happiness.

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

RE: Long Distance Relationship - 8/13/2004 12:12:47 PM

Posts: 49
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Just wanted to say "Thank You" to all who have responded to my question. Very much appreciated.

Donn

(in reply to Laura)

RE: Long Distance Relationship - 8/18/2004 4:24:32 AM

Posts: 44
Joined: 5/17/2004
Status: offline

I think the quality of the relationship has the highest level of whether it will suceed or fail versus the distance being the determining factor. I had been in a two year long distance relationship that I was totally devoted to above all else but my child.

Even only separted by an hour which is a very small distance in the realm of many relationships, it was still a part of what helped it to fail. The other parts were simply lack of total compatiblity that happens sometimes as we grow and change.

Distance can be difficult for some of us. It often can be for me when all I would really like to do is to come home from work and have my Master be there to share my life with. A long distance relationship is a very personal choice. It works quite well for others who have full lives outside of the relationship, which we should all have. I would simply prefer a 24/7 life partner....but I have seen long distance work for many....and as you said...options are often limited.

Best wishes to you in your search...and don't give up on something that matters this much to you!

Respectfully,

morgan

_____________________________

"Words are just words, a Man's actions will tell of his honor"

(in reply to ThorsHammer)

RE: Long Distance Relationship - 8/18/2004 4:58:27 AM

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Joined: 8/16/2004
From: UK
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It always makes me smile when I see people saying LDR's can't work or are somehow "different" to any other kind of relationship. What about the tens of thousands of people vanilla or lifestyle who's partners and spouses work away from home a great deal of the time?

My husband is career military, we spend long periods apart when he's overseas, this is a fact of life for most military spouses. Long distance lorry drivers, workers on oil rigs, merchant navy, the list is endless of people who live with an LDR as a matter of course. This has been a fact of life for people for decades long before cell phones and the internet made things easier for people to keep in touch and communicate.

I agree with everyone who has said LDR's require effort and work, but then again what relationship doesn't? There are pitfalls involved in relationships where one lives together 24/7 as well; such as taking each other for granted or falling into a comfortable routine for one and ignoring the needs of the other etc. LDR's can actually keep a relationship fresh and highlight the need to keep working at it.

It's just another relationship style, admittedly one with what appears on the surface to be open to abuse far easier than any other, however, plenty of people living 24/7 with someone have also discovered their partners are liars, cheats and fakes. Some people are users or players, thats a fact of life, on or offline. There are also many many genuine people out there too some who may live close by, others thousands of miles away, the internet has at least given us the oportunity for our horizons to be unlimited.

_____________________________

~submission is something inside you, not something you convince others of by faking an attitude~
Rowenas Ramblings
Snow Time Forums

(in reply to wyldhearted)

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