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RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/28/2008 9:56:58 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		When it's cold outside and one is ownerless and homeless... one might continue the pity party... but one might get a cold wake up call too...

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(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/28/2008 10:06:57 PM   
starshineowned


Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

Are they really lying about their past, or merely trying to keep the fact they might have been a boy from becoming a girl or the girl becoming a boy, and wanting to be accepted for what they really should have been.
One argument is that you are born one way and thus should remain such as you are even if it makes that individual in question miserable, self-destructive and generally alone in the world because they just do not fit into the world. Guess they should just find the darkest shadow and disappear. Let those that accept who they are because peer pressure and society demands it continue with their lives unabated.


Life is not going to be fair all the time in every way. Surely you know this by now. As I read what your writing I since the hurt, the longing to be accepted but do realize Aszhrae..that many go through these same hurts and emotional pitfalls when it comes to trying to find that person to love you unconditionally. What people have said about being upfront and honest regardless of the outcome from doing so is the basic foundation for any dynamic if it is to have a chance.

It seems this rejection of sorts and how it affects many people at some time or another stems from not having the strength, self confidence, and love of ourselves at that particular time to handle and channel it appropriately.

There is nothing really personal about asking for verification, and people want what they want. To state upfront as someone mentioned is to lessen the interaction from those who don't want to be with a transgender, and make the transgender more focal to those that do, and believe me..there are those that do. Collarme isn't the only forum around..lol. Broaden your horizons maybe?

Good Luck to you and yours

starshine

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(in reply to Aszhrae)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/28/2008 10:17:11 PM   
Aszhrae


Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		You're correct Lockit, there should be more.
Girl is not that out of sorts, it's just that, over the last 18 years, girl has always had someone there directing me, telling me what to do, where to go, expecting me to know how to do it and disciplining me when girl screwed up. If it cost master money, it was taken out of my hide. Girl labored for her allowance, every infraction and every fault, every mistake was deducted from that allowance, sometimes, so many errors were made, girl received nothing. Every thing girl has, girl has earned, but as was stated, the comfort of having the current couple to serve will end and quite frankly the thought of the world girl has always known is about to collapse like a house of cards.
Almost three years ago, girl almost lost both mistress and master in a car accident, girl was basketcase, thought for sure my world was over, right then and there. In the six months that mistress and master were regaining their health, girl was there to support them both: why, because that is what girl does?
Certainly girl should stand on her own two feet and be self-supportive, but you do not see is the fact that girl has always served someone since she was 18yo, between 23-24, girl was alone for a while, that year almost cost me my life, beaten and left for dead, waking up in a hospital bed and not sure how she got there.
Yes, girl is quite aware of the hard and fast rules of survival, it was while girl was laying in a hospital bed that girl was invited to serve the present couple, the present couple also had me on a plane as soon as girl was healthy enough to walk, though painfully, 3 broken ribs can do that.
Girl barely survived the last time girl was alone and without a mistress and that is perhaps one of my greatest fears, of history repeating itself.
Now since we are in fact in a global recession, girl has been allowed to keep what she earns laboring for master. If a mistress can not be found within the time given to me by mistress, girl has already been invited to stay with friends.
However, girl will continue to seek a mistress to serve because girl really does not want to serve another couple, but if girl has no choice in the matter, girl will.



(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/28/2008 10:27:58 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Honey we can understand very well what you must be feeling as it is a human thing, rather than anything else.  You just cannot know what is going on behind the scenes here.  What I would like to know from you now is... what have you done besides looking for a mistress to help yourself?  Do you need direction?  You are going to be scared and lost... but that doesn't mean you cannot find your way.  Stella and I have worked in homelessness and other things for many years.  We need to see things in you and we need to resource, but so do YOU.  This is a time when you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself even though you have many valid reasons for feeling as you do, and you must, you must get to some reason and calm enough to make something happen.

If you are going to be so full of anger and attitude, no one can help you no matter what you do.  Okay... I have been toughlove with you all the way here... Stella and other's tried to be kinder.  We all want to see you bloom and grow, but we cannot do the work for you.

You have Stella as an advocate of sorts here.  Pay attention and give this some time.  But tell us what else you have thought to do, even if that is nothing.  We need to know more without the pity and attitude.  People are not all cold and heartless.

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(in reply to Aszhrae)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/28/2008 11:02:54 PM   
Aszhrae


Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		There is no anger Lockit, only fear of the unknown, which is very human.
Also, you are quite correct there being other avenues by which to approach and girl is using them. Even if my current situation will suddenly end, the comforts that girl has become so accustom to having will no longer be there, girl has managed to create a rather large network of contacts.
Well beyond those here in CM.
There is already a back up for me to go to if my search for a mistress becomes empty. However, girl will keep on trying to get a mistress that wants to be served by me.
The worst is the actual day when girl says 'good bye' to mistress and master for the last time.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/28/2008 11:33:49 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Ok, was gonna stay outta this...

but if you have backup in place, what was that bit about being homeless?


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(in reply to Aszhrae)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/28/2008 11:42:02 PM   
Aszhrae


Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		Would you not classify being with the same mistress and master as being your home, if you had been there for a very long time, then when given notice that you will be without such in certain amount of time, thus you would be homeless. Girl does have a destination as back up but it most certainly is not home, now is it?

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/28/2008 11:45:12 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		ok, I don't know about BC.. but here in the States, when one refers to themselves as HOMELESS it means they have NO WHERE TO GO.. no roof over their head, no bed to sleep in, etc....

just saying


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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Aszhrae)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/28/2008 11:48:11 PM   
Aszhrae


Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		Girl understands,
Home is where my heart is, with that soon to be gone, girl would be homeless, as it is my heart's desire to serve, does that make sense to you?
Girl really does hope so.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/28/2008 11:51:17 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Yes, it does... but you're not ACTUALLY, physically homeless.. which is what I took it to mean when you said that you'd be homeless.And I'm pretty sure (based on other posts) that I was not the only person to have that impression.


< Message edited by GreedyTop -- 11/28/2008 11:52:04 PM >

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Aszhrae)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/29/2008 12:03:21 AM   
aravain


Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
And I'm pretty sure (based on other posts) that I was not the only person to have that impression.



You weren't, Greedy...

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/29/2008 12:14:32 AM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aszhrae

There is no anger Lockit, only fear of the unknown, which is very human.
Also, you are quite correct there being other avenues by which to approach and girl is using them. Even if my current situation will suddenly end, the comforts that girl has become so accustom to having will no longer be there, girl has managed to create a rather large network of contacts.
Well beyond those here in CM.
There is already a back up for me to go to if my search for a mistress becomes empty. However, girl will keep on trying to get a mistress that wants to be served by me.
The worst is the actual day when girl says 'good bye' to mistress and master for the last time.



Just curious here..

On your profile you have the ultimatum which says 'either I find a Mistress or it's the streets for me' and yet above you claim to have established yourself an extensive support network, and in posting 104 you state that your current couple have friends with whom you can stay.

In posting 90 you write about 'Devil's Grip' and explain a past about being intersexed, or a hermaphrodite, and yet in your OP you specifically use the word transgendered with MTF and FTM, and we go four pages in a discussion among other posters about being transgendered and verification and yet not once did you correct anyone and state that you were intersexed or a hermaphrodite.

You complain about being required to provide verification in posting 7 on this thread and you ask about such people lying about their past in posting 11.

Now you also have written about being accepted as female but you appear to have an issue with being passable..

You do realise also that someone who is born intersexed or a hermaphrodite is different from being transgendered? You write about being in the wrong body earlier in the thread, but surely if you are intersexed only the genitalia would be wrong, and not the complete body?

Now you'd think having this condition all your life, and as you seem educated and intelligent, intelligent enough to use third person speak throughout the thread consistently, and having contact with doctors throughout the 42 years of your life, that you would know exactly whether you are transgendered or intersexed or a hermaphrodite, and the correct medical term for 'Devil's Grip', right?

In posting 76 you state that the subject of the thread is verification, verification of the truth, trust, lying, and so on.

The thing is with posting on a message board like this you invariably come into contact with other people who have the same or more knowledge of what you are writing about.

But throughout this thread in your postings there are inconsistencies and things which just don't add up or make much sense.

I forgot to mention by the way I have worked as an investigative journalist. Now I wouldn't normally have paid this much attention to what someone posts here, but you are seeking a Mistress are you not? You are looking to come into someone's home, someone's life, and I'm sorry on the basis of what you have posted all through this thread I would be demanding verification on many things too.

Also please bear in mind I have a cousin in Toronto who has a big house and who might have been able to accept you as a live in housekeeper. However on the basis of what you are presenting here I feel very disinclined to even ask or mention this.

Would you care to clarify any of the above or share with us the truth?

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(in reply to Aszhrae)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/29/2008 12:23:08 AM   
Aszhrae


Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		Apologies then for stating such, but girl thought some had they actually read a little about me would have clued in that being submissive for me is not just a physical thing for me, there is a spirit to it as well. Why must girl always have to explain my self when trying to say something, some get it, some don't, when they take it incorrectly, then of course they are used to thinking the worst.
My heart has belonged to the same mistress and master for a lot of years, you all know that by now. They have been my home and whole life, now they are retiring, my heart will be empty and girl will be without a home.
What don't you understand about this fact of being homeless, homeless does not have to mean being penniless and destitute and living on the street. There is more than one definition to being homeless, if not, there should be.
Girl is losing the home she has always known thus girl will be homeless.

Homeless ----- no place to serve.
The back up are friends, friends that girl knows she will not be comfortable serving. They do not even treat themselves well, how you think they will treat me. No thank you if girl can find a mistress before then.

(in reply to aravain)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/29/2008 12:26:27 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		If home is a matter of heart... where does 'streets' come into it?  You state in your profile that you will be on the streets.  You are playing people.  You see the thing is that when you cry for help, some who will help typically, go to check out the need.  After being in the area of social service, you learn quickly to gage whether someone has an acutal need or when they are playing the system or trying to pull one off.  So people in good faith go to help, check things out and find some very big problems with the situation.  Using your own words, we find some very big challenges to your story.  You have an answer for everything it seems and although there are some truths to your story... there are some huge questions.

To sum up what I have seen.  I see a passive aggressive person who has been very wounded, who lashes out when she doesn't like something... who plays upon words to gather strengths in the argument or to prove her story as very serious indeed, and the drama and pity card are played like a joker card.

I have no doubt you have some serious problems, but no one likes to be played and you just tried to play a fast one from what I can see.  Let me see now... streets... homeless... explained by home is where the heart is.  lol That's a good one... I shall remember that one.  I do believe you may have been very abused.  I do believe you will come back with some answers to Stella's last post.  I do believe your drama will not end here.  I do believe that you need some help... but after your playing us... complaining how some have treated you by asking too much in a first contact and not trusting and all that... well.. all the bs starts piling up and your stand has no footing.

You can point a finger at a lot of things and people, but sooner or later... some fingers point back at you and sometimes they are not your own.  Time to get real honey.

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(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/29/2008 12:36:48 AM   
aravain


Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aszhrae

Girl is losing the home she has always known thus girl will be homeless.

Homeless ----- no place to serve.


Then it just needs to be clarified.

According to a government website I found (linked at the end):

For purposes of this chapter, the term “homeless” or “homeless individual or homeless person” includes—
  • an individual who lacks a fixed, regular, and adequate nighttime residence; and
  • an individual who has a primary nighttime residence that is —
  • a supervised publicly or privately operated shelter designed to provide temporary living accommodations (including welfare hotels, congregate shelters, and transitional housing for the mentally ill);
  • an institution that provides a temporary residence for individuals intended to be institutionalized; or
  • a public or private place not designed for, or ordinarily used as, a regular sleeping accommodation for human beings. http://www.hud.gov/homeless/definition.cfm

    Granted, it's a US definition, but either way it still gives precedent (I mean, an entire nation worth of forum-viewers have this view). Homelessness *usually* means being without a roof to sleep under... not that your heart hasn't taken up residence somewhere. If you meant a metaphorical homelessness that's what you needed to have stated (or at least implied) rather than saying you'd be 'out on the streets' without context. Even throwing a 'proverbial' in there would fix the miscommunication.

    As one of my professors once said to me in response to a 20 page paper... "Say what you mean, and mean what you say."

    EDIT: Because I forgot an S :P


    < Message edited by aravain -- 11/29/2008 12:38:57 AM >

    (in reply to Aszhrae)
    • Profile   Post #: 115
    RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/29/2008 12:41:39 AM   
    Lockit


    Posts: 11292
    Joined: 5/7/2007
    Status: offline     		ROFL at the... granted it is a US definition!

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    Profile   Post #: 116
    RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/29/2008 12:43:12 AM   
    stella41b


    Posts: 4258
    Joined: 10/16/2007
    From: SW London (UK)
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Aszhrae

    What don't you understand about this fact of being homeless, homeless does not have to mean being penniless and destitute and living on the street. There is more than one definition to being homeless, if not, there should be.



    Aszhrae, you may care to google the following - CRISIS, St Mungo's, Cricklewood Homeless Concern and Thamesreach - these are all organizations I have been or am working with over the past two years and they are all charities dealing with the homeless.

    Be sure that I do have a very comprehensive knowledge of exactly what homelessness really is. If you or anyone else wants to verify what I'm saying here I'm happy to provide contact names and phone numbers or e-mail addresses.

    And this is my point. I wouldn't normally pay so much attention to someone's story or what they post, but you are seeking a live in position with a Mistress, you appear to be playing on people's ignorance of transgender and intersexed issues, there are inconsistencies and I see this as a potentially dangerous or harmful situation for either one of you.

    That's why I have taken it upon myself to point them out.

    I think a major reality check and a dose of good old truth serum would do you the world of good.

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    (in reply to Aszhrae)
    Profile   Post #: 117
    RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/29/2008 12:50:03 AM   
    moonvine


    Posts: 780
    Joined: 11/7/2004
    Status: offline     		Well, I hope you can find a mistress before then, but in all seriousness, "homeless" does not mean not having someone to serve.   I have been without someone to serve for years, but I've certainly not been homeless.  I *could* be homeless (as in without walls and a roof to shelter myself from the elements) if I can't find a job of some sort within the next 6 months or so.  Although everyone may not agree, I find that far far more scary than not having someone to serve.  Having someone to serve is a luxury.  

    (in reply to Aszhrae)
    Profile   Post #: 118
    RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/29/2008 12:51:36 AM   
    Nymphonic


    Posts: 9
    Joined: 7/29/2008
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: stella41b

    Now you'd think having this condition all your life, and as you seem educated and intelligent, intelligent enough to use third person speak throughout the thread consistently, and having contact with doctors throughout the 42 years of your life, that you would know exactly whether you are transgendered or intersexed or a hermaphrodite, and the correct medical term for 'Devil's Grip', right?



    I would be VERY interested in hearing about this as well!  Maybe i am lucky, but i only have "devil's grip" when my uterine wall breaks down to make way for a new one.

    (in reply to stella41b)
    Profile   Post #: 119
    RE: Verification: more harm than good - 11/29/2008 12:53:00 AM   
    aravain


    Posts: 1211
    Joined: 8/26/2008
    Status: offline     		:D Glad I could provide a laugh. It was one of the first links in google for "homeless definition" XD

    I didn't try *very* hard >.>

    (in reply to Lockit)
    Profile   Post #: 120
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