lally3
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Joined: 3/4/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DesFIP
quote:
ORIGINAL: lally3
in a way, what we're saying here is that a sadistic D shouldnt enjoy the physical catharsis of spanking his sub in punishment because ... why....?
because its partly his failure too -
borederline abusive -
too kinky -
might lead to a top heavy punishment dynamic -
surely that would only become a real threat if theyre regular S&M activities failed to satisfy the sadist.
You're forgetting about one thing; emotional sadism. If he enjoys not just the physical activity but also the fact that she is hurting emotionally, beating herself up because she thinks she's a failure yet again, then regular s & m wouldn't satisfy. Since regular s & m isn't designed to mess with someone's emotions. But if he enjoys spanking her as punishment because she's feeling bad emotionally, then that's where the risk lies. The risk of setting her up for failure, punishing for smaller and smaller errors just to get her to be emotionally upset while he enjoys both the spanking and her emotional upheaval.
then that would be very negative and abusive. i agree.
dont you think though, that because of this concern we have, a simple straight forward CP punishment has become almost taboo. that between S&M couples its construed as funishment more than punishment, kinky more than corrective. i really think sometimes that the internet over works things sometimes. the relationship im talking about happened before the internet was widely available. this grey area didnt exist then.
personally i respond far better to CP than any number of other methods that have been employed with me since. the silent treatment being one, my collar being removed, lines, standing in the corner like some stupid kid, sent to bed early like some stupid kid, the list could go on but ill spare you...
the psychology of punishment should always be taken seriously. i accept that there are some that fail to consider the impact of it on a submissive, but i would hope that they are in the minority or are still learning
personally i have been left to beat myself up over something for far longer than was healthy, when a sore bum would have dealt with the situation right then and the situation could have moved on far quicker. if done properly it clears the air, re-enforces the bond and the dynamic and settles the sub right down into a happy place where the misery is over and her man has asserted his dominance.
to me its the purest, simplest form of correction i know and i think theres a danger here of turning it into something thats over complicated and wrong. in the wrong hands with the wrong people abuse happens, but for the rest of us, with a strong dynamic that works and where trust exists its simple and effective.
granted there are subs thatll brat out for a spanking - but thats role play, a certain type of relationship and presumably the D is on board with it.
granted there are sadists who enjoy the whole punishment dynamic and use it as part of their play - again, role play and hopefully the sub is on board with it.
as others have said on this thread and elsewhere. an effective CP can occur with the minimum of sadism and be very effective even with a full on maso. but it has to be real
and thats part of why im being a bit discussive here 
we could actually pschoanalyse our way out of real and responsible CP completely, at this rate.
i had no problem with the fact that my boyfriend back then got some satisfaction out of making me squirm and watching my bum turn red. if he'd said he didnt id have wondered why he bothered and didnt just shout at me or get rid of me.
he got his jollies out of hurting me, kudos to him. it seemed perfectly straight forward to me and after a couple of times i learnt to think twice before doing something i knew would hack him off.
hmm, i kinda miss the simplicity of it now. -
< Message edited by lally3 -- 12/30/2008 11:14:45 AM >
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RE: What is your favorite punishment for your slave? - 
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