Noah
Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling
If your Dominant said he wanted to bring another sub into your so far monogamous relationship, could you without any jealousy simply to please him or would you keep quiet about it.
Do you feel you should have any say in the picking of a new sub or is that totally left up to the Dominant and hope he finds someone you will like also?
To do do this without jealousy would be fine of course. To do so would seem to show trust and devotion, beautiful things. But to do this despite jealousy--because when feelings come they come unbidden after all--could be a very special showing of devotion.
I'm not suggesting that one of these should be valued above the other as, again, feelings come to whom they come, when they come. Furthermore each of us has our own capacities and shouldn't be shamed for them.
The word I'm thinking of is kind of inelegant and jargon-y but in either case come sort of processing is involved. In the prior case the submissive has already gone through a process which leaves her capable of acquiesence without jealousy. In a given person this might be a function of her training, her early upbringing or who-knows-what?
In the latter case the submissive would be called upon to process her feeling of jealousy as events played out--or anyway as the topic was broached and dealt with in whatever fashion. One way to process these feelings of jealousy would be to deny them. That sounds dumb. Another way might be to process them masochistically--whether or not she is natively masochistic.
Jealousy hurts, right? I mean I don't think it is a wacky thing to describe jealousy as an emotional pain. For many, maybe even most submissives there is a range of types of pain they will endure for their partner's pleasure. Is this type within your range? If not, would you be willing to try to stretch yourself so as to incorporate it?
I have no complaint with anyone who would rule this kind of thing out. Your limits are your business. Lots of people both on the top and the bottom rule out emotional S&M generally as too risky or unrewarding or just not right for them. Some may even rule it out as sinful or morally repugnant. On the other hand some of us find depth and meaning in engaging in this way as well as in more typical physical and psychological ways. It is risky. Yep. If your rule of thumb is never do anything risky this one is not for you. I like a woman who will take a risk with me, and I have to like her in the first place to be interested in taking risks with her.
If you imagine that all the risks in this sort of thing are for the submissive then you are either considering a rather oafish dominant or you aren't seeing the whole picture. I hope that only the self-sufficient sort of masochist would consider this sort of thing with an oafish partner anyway--but if that's your kink, roll with it.
There is no question that the successful navigation of territory like this can be thrilling for both parties and can contribute to both emotional growth in the individuals and in deepening of a relationship. I think this depends upon undertaking things with a certain kind of awareness and integrity.
But then there are other kinds of ways to get emotional growth and relationship deepening, too. Don't let anyone tell you that you are necessarily missing out on a irreplaceable opportunity if you opt out of this one. Let's face it this stuff could really blow up in your face.
I think it is possible to choose bravely and carefully. Do you agree?
|
Jealousy - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread