Voltare
Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline
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LostChance,
No doubt, the odds are stacked against you, though I suspect if you are not new to the lifestyle, than this is hardly an unexpected surprise.
The question about Doms to subs, as well as women to men seems to come up now and then. Time magazine published a year or so ago an article regarding the issue.
quote:
Source: Time Magazine, January 19, 2004
A common misperception is that most DS relationships involve dominant women—dominatrices, in the parlance—ordering around submissive men. (As a result, some feminists have come to see BDSM lifestyles as not only transgressive but progressive.) And, indeed, among the many prostitutes who offer BDSM services, more are dominant than submissive, says Dr. Paul Federoff, a University of Ottawa psychiatrist who has studied sadomasochists. "You also might see a lot of dominant women at a BDSM nightclub," he says, but "although it's not the politically correct answer, more women in the scene are choosing the submissive role." In a study Federoff co-authored last year, he found that among 1,320 self-identified BDSM practitioners who anonymously completed a Web survey, 79% of women reported being "always or usually submissive"; only 35% of men did.
source: http://www.time.com/time/2004/sex/article/bondage_unbound_growing01a.html
I think I did this once, but will go again - keeping in mind that it was simply a web survey of 1320 individuals. If there are only 21% woman who do not consider themselves always or usually submissive... and 35% of men consider themselves always or usually submissive, then we can at least guess that there are almost two submissive men for every one dominant woman to begin with. I don't have access to the statistics from this website, perhaps a moderator could supply the data - but it's safe to assume that a much larger (my guess being 300%or 400%) of men use online dating services then women do. To boot, men tend far more active in their usage of the tools a site provides, i.e. the searches, and to write potential mates out of the blue. A short conversation with a few of the female members on this site will probably reveal that they receive 5-20 unsolicited emails a day from perfect stranger (I know that gretchen does) whenever they log on. With that in mind, how often do men receive email from women out of the blue?
A few more statistics tend to make things even more complicated - generally speaking, women tend to seek men older then themselves, while men tend to seek women younger then themselves - the result being older women and younger men have an even more difficult situation. Adding to the whole heap, it would seem that a rather large number of Dominant Women seem to be bisexual or lesbians, or already romantically involved with a Dominant Male or vanilla partner already, suggesting the competition can become quite fierce.
With all of these issues in mind, there is a silver lining! From my own experiences, I've never known a Female Dominant worth interacting with that didn't take her time, consider possible partners carefully, and carelessly get involved with a slave. The interview process may be long, difficult, and demanding - with good reason! If a male (or female for that matter) slave is worth the metal around his or her neck, it would make sense that they have earned it.
These message board forums are an excellent place to shine above the hundreds of thousands of male slaves in the sea. One decent post here, seems to be worth more then a hundred letters in private, and exposes a potential slave to literally hundreds of Female Dominants who will be looking from everything from spelling and grammar, to content, to humor. Naturally, not everyone has the gift of gab in writing, but a good twenty or thirty minutes spent penning a few thoughtful ideas on a forum could reap more results then literally hundreds of form letters sent to anonymous people. On top of this, where a woman (or man) who has a FANTASTIC profile with gorgeous pictures makes two or three posts revealing a shallow, meaningless person - it really helps the search. The same thing goes for attending munches, conventions, and generally attempting to get to know the real people who actually enjoy the lifestyle. Obviously, this is not a luxury not availible to everyone (i.e. gretchen and I have rather limited options where we live) but not everyone can live in San Francisco or New York.
(gretchen sitting next to me: To me it would be more attractive for a guy to post something intelligent enough for me to care to read it than the thousands of emails I get saying 'hello.' - even if they aren't speaking to me directly in a post.)
Best of luck!
Stephan & gretchen
I hope
_____________________________
http://www.vv3b.com/
"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche
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