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RE: Extending M/s to encompass every aspect of life - 12/21/2008 11:26:24 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		We must have differing definitions for the word "Debate" I certainly didn't see your reply to me as debating and in fact I have not seen you debate but rather lecture in a somewhat condescending manner (in my opinion).

However to follow up on your last post to me, I draw you attention to a post to NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyIsaac


You can think that, but you'd be wrong.  The reason for his forfeiture is irrelevant to this discussion, but has nothing to do with anyone "blowing it."


Since you refuse to explain how it all came to him "forfeiting" his ownership of you, I guess we'll have to take your word on that.




I found the section I have bolded to be both digging for personal reasons which the recipient has declined to give and that should have been that and would have been for those with good manners and of course the final half is in my opinion nothing more that a nasty catty childish dig.  Others may well disagree with me and that is also good I expressed my personal opinion along with the view that we would be better agreeing to disagree in future.  I will add though I do not object to much of what you have been saying, except perhaps as a semantic level, but it is the way you state it and come across. My choice to find it slightly objectionable and your choice to present your case anyway you choose to. Big world CM and it is always that not everyone gets on with everyone else just the way the world is.  I am certainly  not your dude and I seriously if you are able to make me swallow anything let alone my motto.

I am quite sure that you will contribute valuable ideas and thoughts to the mix here and will be appreciated by many. I wish you well

< Message edited by IronBear -- 12/21/2008 11:28:51 PM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to SimplyIsaac)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Extending M/s to encompass every aspect of life - 12/21/2008 11:53:52 PM   
SimplyIsaac


Posts: 376
Joined: 12/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

We must have differing definitions for the word "Debate" I certainly didn't see your reply to me as debating and in fact I have not seen you debate but rather lecture in a somewhat condescending manner (in my opinion).

I found the section I have bolded to be both digging for personal reasons which the recipient has declined to give and that should have been that and would have been for those with good manners and of course the final half is in my opinion nothing more that a nasty catty childish dig. 



I was trying to get to a point about Action and Authority. she stepped up to the plate offering her own life as an example. I insisted on details, but recognized her right to privacy. I also offered my condolences. You forgot to quote that though.

I'm not really interested in the trying to make you swallow offer...It was a figure of speech. Thanks for the well wishes anyways.

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Extending M/s to encompass every aspect of life - 12/22/2008 7:36:18 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyIsaac


quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

We must have differing definitions for the word "Debate" I certainly didn't see your reply to me as debating and in fact I have not seen you debate but rather lecture in a somewhat condescending manner (in my opinion).

I found the section I have bolded to be both digging for personal reasons which the recipient has declined to give and that should have been that and would have been for those with good manners and of course the final half is in my opinion nothing more that a nasty catty childish dig. 



I was trying to get to a point about Action and Authority. she stepped up to the plate offering her own life as an example. I insisted on details, but recognized her right to privacy. I also offered my condolences. You forgot to quote that though.

I'm not really interested in the trying to make you swallow offer...It was a figure of speech. Thanks for the well wishes anyways.



Isaac,

To clarify, I was not stepping up to the plate, I was frustrated and irritated at your relentlessness at wanting to somehow dissect and analyze my private matters on a public forum.  I admit I found your manner with me to be less than pleasant and because of that, decided to not engage in future discussions with you on the board.  You did offer condolences and when I thanked you but said they were unnecessary, your reply to that seemed once again less than pleasant and condescending.  I'm not going to continue with this particular discussion, but since it was our dialogue being discussed here (thank you, IronBear), I felt it right that I should clarify - I did not "step up", I gave in.  And regrettably so, too.


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to SimplyIsaac)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Extending M/s to encompass every aspect of life - 12/22/2008 10:28:56 AM   
SimplyIsaac


Posts: 376
Joined: 12/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

To clarify, I was not stepping up to the plate, I was frustrated and irritated at your relentlessness at wanting to somehow dissect and analyze my private matters on a public forum.  I admit I found your manner with me to be less than pleasant and because of that, decided to not engage in future discussions with you on the board.  You did offer condolences and when I thanked you but said they were unnecessary, your reply to that seemed once again less than pleasant and condescending.  I'm not going to continue with this particular discussion, but since it was our dialogue being discussed here (thank you, IronBear), I felt it right that I should clarify - I did not "step up", I gave in.  And regrettably so, too.



This is a public forum Vida...you should know by now that people are going to express things in a way you may not like so much.

its really not a big deal. I'm not getting all miffed over your snarks and shoulder patting.

at any rate, you're the one who said my condolences were unnecessary. Own it. And let's get back to the OP.

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Extending M/s to encompass every aspect of life - 12/22/2008 11:00:26 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		There's a thread in the Ask A Mistress section titled "Bitter Much?"  You might consider reading it.  I know the holidays are a lonely, angry time for many people, but belittling unowned female submissives doesn't make you look like a bigger, stronger dom in most people's eyes.  It makes you look like a horny net geek.  And cutting orders about what to post in a thread, to people who have no need to obey you, demonstrates amateur leadership skills.  It is the mark of a blowhard.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to SimplyIsaac)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Extending M/s to encompass every aspect of life - 12/22/2008 11:14:54 AM   
SimplyIsaac


Posts: 376
Joined: 12/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

There's a thread in the Ask A Mistress section titled "Bitter Much?"  You might consider reading it.  I know the holidays are a lonely, angry time for many people, but belittling unowned female submissives doesn't make you look like a bigger, stronger dom in most people's eyes.  It makes you look like a horny net geek.  And cutting orders about what to post in a thread, to people who have no need to obey you, demonstrates amateur leadership skills.  It is the mark of a blowhard.



okaaaaay...
More of a mark of a blowhard is making a whole rant over an assumption. Im submissive, mr. magician.

But you can keep Masterbating.

< Message edited by SimplyIsaac -- 12/22/2008 11:16:26 AM >

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Extending M/s to encompass every aspect of life - 12/22/2008 11:30:33 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		You may have a desire to be topped in the bedroom.  There is a difference between sexual orientation and public social behavior.  I have never seen you perform in the bedroom, and am not qualified to discuss that.  I am, however, qualified to comment on your performance on this particular message board.  You are behaving like a bitter martinet, heaping scorn on women and hollowly demanding men follow your lead.  Those conclusions require no assumption on my part.  They are based in the data you have provided.

The way you insulted me is intriguing.  You mention masturbating as though it is a bad thing, as though my worth as a human being would be greater if someone besides me got my dick wet.  Well, I masturbate.  Don't you?  Does that make me somehow worthless and vile, or unable to pick up girls?  There's exactly one regular poster on these boards who knows which woman I am seeing right now -- because they live in the same area.  I don't see any reason to post my amorous affairs publicly.

Perhaps you use "masturbation" as an insult because you are doing too much of it, and don't know how to stop and build a life instead.  That would be something to work on, of greater value than trolling a message board.

I hope your Chirstmas is merrier than your pre-Christmas appears to be.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to SimplyIsaac)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Extending M/s to encompass every aspect of life - 12/22/2008 11:37:08 AM   
SimplyIsaac


Posts: 376
Joined: 12/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1


The way you insulted me is intriguing. 



I know isn't it?

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Extending M/s to encompass every aspect of life - 12/22/2008 5:51:27 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyIsaac

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

There's a thread in the Ask A Mistress section titled "Bitter Much?"  You might consider reading it.  I know the holidays are a lonely, angry time for many people, but belittling unowned female submissives doesn't make you look like a bigger, stronger dom in most people's eyes.  It makes you look like a horny net geek.  And cutting orders about what to post in a thread, to people who have no need to obey you, demonstrates amateur leadership skills.  It is the mark of a blowhard.



okaaaaay...
More of a mark of a blowhard is making a whole rant over an assumption. Im submissive, mr. magician.

But you can keep Masterbating.


No! No, no, no and no again. You shot your bolt many times over and now you reap the reward of your attitude and even more so because you claim in a post and on your profile to be submissive. Few if any experienced Dominants (including Masters and Mistresses) are likely to take you seriously any more. You were given a chance to rectify your posting methodology and you snubbed it. Simply put: “You have been Tried, Tested and Found Wanting!” Perhaps in your next live you may be better received here.


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to SimplyIsaac)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Extending M/s to encompass every aspect of life - 12/22/2008 6:24:55 PM   
Kalista07


Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline 		<-----Note the 5.

Is it any wonder why IB and Red are among some of my favorite men around here.

Psst, Neuva Vida, as always you dealt with this "person" with much more grace and dignity than i could manage to deal with him with if he was on fire and i had an urgent desire to pee.  But, perhaps that is just me
Kali


_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb


(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Extending M/s to encompass every aspect of life - 12/22/2008 9:23:21 PM   
SimplyIsaac


Posts: 376
Joined: 12/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07


Is it any wonder why IB and Red are among some of my favorite men around here.



Iron Bear seems like a pretty good chap. Red is trying too hard, though.


(in reply to Kalista07)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Extending M/s to encompass every aspect of life - 12/22/2008 9:39:20 PM   
NefertariReborn


Posts: 381
Status: offline 		you know there are better ways to get attention.  No value in your opinion if you've pissed off the audience and they've gone home. 

(in reply to SimplyIsaac)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Extending M/s to encompass every aspect of life - 12/22/2008 9:49:32 PM   
SimplyIsaac


Posts: 376
Joined: 12/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NefertariReborn

you know there are better ways to get attention.  No value in your opinion if you've pissed off the audience and they've gone home. 


Thankfully, my opinion isn't validated by you. That would really be a terrible way to live.


(in reply to NefertariReborn)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Extending M/s to encompass every aspect of life - 12/22/2008 10:22:53 PM   
NefertariReborn


Posts: 381
Status: offline 		Tsk! Tsk! There you go again.  I guess I should feel slighted? upset? start ranting? perhaps iggy? LMAO I have UM's.  keep trying.  I shan't watch your attempts however *yawns* Enjoy!

(in reply to SimplyIsaac)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Extending M/s to encompass every aspect of life - 12/22/2008 10:26:53 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

Psst, Neuva Vida, as always you dealt with this "person" with much more grace and dignity than i could manage to deal with him with if he was on fire and i had an urgent desire to pee.  But, perhaps that is just me
Kali



Thank you for your kind words, Kalista.  I also have come to respect IB's and Red's posts on these boards in the time I've been reading them.


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to Kalista07)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Extending M/s to encompass every aspect of life - 12/23/2008 6:16:36 PM   
Jeptha


Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DrAtAVenture
...I would welcome posts from anyone who has been through a similar transition, whether from a dominant or submissive perspective. Since this is by definition not something one can learn by observing others...
Not being the master of anyone or anything, I realize that I don't have the qualifications the OP requests.

However, since this thread has taken enough twists and turns already, I thought I'd go ahead and add something I've noticed and that I think holds true.

And that is that life imitates art sometimes.

An example of what I mean from my experience; I'm not well versed in high protocol kinds of things myself, but I had a partner who put a lot of thought into such things, and she would ask me how I would like to be addressed, if I would like her to walk in a certain way in relation to me, proximity-wise, when we were out together, etc.

So I came up with a few hand gestures that were to indicate "stop", "come to this point", etc.
They were very simple things that I could use whenever I felt like it - I didn't have to be constantly "on" or always monitoring things. They were very easy for her to recognize and comply with too. Simple.

I know it may not sound like much, but the effects seemed to go beyond these little gestures and made us want to think of other such things that might be useful to us as well.

This mirrors my personal style - I tend to be mostly informal, though I'm becoming more and more curious about formality, ritual, etc.

I know other's style can be to wish to jump right in with both feet to very high protocol situations.

While curious about that (as I mentioned) my own style is to go along growing incrementally until I become familiar and comfortable with something.

(in reply to DrAtAVenture)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Extending M/s to encompass every aspect of life - 12/23/2008 6:41:10 PM   
Jeptha


Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

However, for me authority exists just because it is. Somewhat akin to love, I don't need to DO anything in order to know that I am in a state of love with another person. It exists as it is. I understand people require physical action in order to consider something to be "dominance" and that's ok for them. But that's not how I operate in the world.

This is fascinating to me and I'm having a bit of a hard time sorting out what to make of it in my head.

I think, for me, authority only exists in relation to something else.
Therefor, it isn't "essential" ...It isn't something that "just is", in and of itself.
It needs someone to recognize it as such.
And in that case, it is a rather subjective thing.

At least that's the best I can come up with thinking about it at this moment.

This may have something to do with my background, though, where my experience has so often been that words (for example - one can substitute impressions or appearances) are only sentiments and actions are the only things that will truly indicate the depth of one's convictions.

I rejected essentialism and came to believe that contradictions were inherent in all things.

That experience, of course, is subjective also.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Extending M/s to encompass every aspect of life - 12/23/2008 7:10:33 PM   
SimplyIsaac


Posts: 376
Joined: 12/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JepthaI think, for me, authority only exists in relation to something else.
Therefor, it isn't "essential" ...It isn't something that "just is", in and of itself.
It needs someone to recognize it as such.
And in that case, it is a rather subjective thing.


Awesome thoughts.

I know, I'm biased on this subject, but...yeah. Food for thought.

(in reply to Jeptha)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Extending M/s to encompass every aspect of life - 12/24/2008 1:26:18 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeptha

I think, for me, authority only exists in relation to something else.
Therefor, it isn't "essential" ...It isn't something that "just is", in and of itself.
It needs someone to recognize it as such.
And in that case, it is a rather subjective thing.




Gems are few and far between here but what a sweet little gem this is to get for Christmas.

For me what just 'is' is power. Some people just exude it. It's that power and the way I react to it that causes me to recognize their authority over me. It's the power which makes words like "Sir" or "Ma'am" spring to my lips. That sort of power is rare though.. which is probably a good thing or I'd be on my knees much more than they can take.

Really, really lovely thought, Jeptha!


_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Jeptha)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Extending M/s to encompass every aspect of life - 12/24/2008 4:45:08 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeptha

I think, for me, authority only exists in relation to something else.
Therefor, it isn't "essential" ...It isn't something that "just is", in and of itself.
It needs someone to recognize it as such.
And in that case, it is a rather subjective thing.




Gems are few and far between here but what a sweet little gem this is to get for Christmas.

For me what just 'is' is power. Some people just exude it. It's that power and the way I react to it that causes me to recognize their authority over me. It's the power which makes words like "Sir" or "Ma'am" spring to my lips. That sort of power is rare though.. which is probably a good thing or I'd be on my knees much more than they can take.

Really, really lovely thought, Jeptha!



And isn't interesting that so often, Power and Authority go hand in hand. Again I have often come across this with people who rarely need to demand, command or even ask directly but let their wishes be known and it happens.

I have been blessed in my life to meet a number of such people and not just within the world of kink. Some have exuded charisma and others were unobtrusive and quiet yet in both types, they attracted people to them without fanfare or drama.  From them I have learned what they were willing to teach. 


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 80
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