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RE: Money orThought? - 12/20/2008 5:18:50 PM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
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Honestly, both matter. And I wouldn't say so much as "expensive" gift with thought but not "cheap crappy" gift with thought.

IE, jewelry. Now if he wants to put thought into some nice piece of jewelry, that's great! But if he's going to take the cheap way out and get some fake metal, it's not great. Fake metal turns and irritates my skin, I can't wear fake earrings at all. Another idea would be a flogger. He could make it, which is cute, or buy it. But if it's a cheap one, it might break after one session. lol Sometimes a nice thoughtful gift does need some sort of invest me into it.

But not always, so it goes to that "it depends on the gift" notion. Something as simple, and thoughtful, as a nice CD of a liked band or perhaps a new book by a favorite author. Neither of those require huge investments but you need to actually know the woman and her likes in order to get it right; ie thoughtful.

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Post #: 21

RE: Money orThought? - 12/21/2008 2:38:13 AM

boytoyinatlanta

Posts: 75
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline

a christmas card is good enough...people are too greedy nowadays

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Post #: 22

RE: Money orThought? - 12/21/2008 6:02:32 AM

HeavansKeeper

Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
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<QR>

This boils down to "does money buy happiness?" Short answer: no. Long answer: money enables one to engage in otherwise inaccessible courses of action which may, or may not, lead to increased happiness.

Getting her something expensive because the price tag has lots of commas will yield a gift that is not cared for. The amount of meaningful gifts a person can produce depend heavily on creativity. A hand written letter, a rock, a wild flower, a pair of new socks (mmmm fresh, warm, fluffy socks) are all cheap and can be great gifts. A great gift is also that time you flew her to vegas and gave her a full spa treatment while you knelt beside her. That one costs more than a river stone.

A mature person (dominant or otherwise) understands how money works. Some have more than others, and although neat, blowing it all on frivolous expenses is immature. If I had a submissive on a decent but limited income, I'd be unhappy if they spent too much trying to please me.

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

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Post #: 23

RE: Money orThought? - 12/22/2008 4:59:31 AM

FullfigRIMAAM1

Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: boytoyinatlanta
a christmas card is good enough...people are too greedy nowadays

It's true that people want too much stuff, but it is also possible you are too cheap, and lack generosity of spirit, which may have you continue to be lonesome and bitching for a long time to come. If you're not a gentleman, who cares for and respects women, slapping on a submissive label won't be helpful to you in the long run with women. M

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to boytoyinatlanta)

Post #: 24

RE: Money orThought? - 12/22/2008 10:54:48 AM

MsFlutter

Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
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quote:

ORIGINAL: royalgoodness

So my questions to You Ladies is...is it important to you that your sub/slave be able to buy you expensive gifts/things you need/want or is it the thought behind it that counts when he/she gets you a gift.

Any monkey can walk into a shop and point at something expensive. I prefer the gifts that show somebody has paid attention and knows what would have meaning.

Now..if said monkey just happens to have exquisite taste in jewelry, I wont hold it against him, but the sweetest gifts are wrapped in the efforts of the giver.

_____________________________

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"The right data, filtered through an idiot, can yield a bad answer." einstien5201

(in reply to royalgoodness)

Post #: 25

RE: Money orThought? - 12/22/2008 10:56:50 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
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quote:

So my questions to You Ladies is...is it important to you that your sub/slave be able to buy you expensive gifts/things you need/want or is it the thought behind it that counts when he/she gets you a gift.

It is the thought behind it that counts for me. I frankly do not care if he gets me anything and there have been some years where his money was so tight I told him do NOT buy me anything. Frankly all I want is him, he is the best gift that money cannot buy.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to royalgoodness)

Post #: 26

RE: Money orThought? - 12/22/2008 11:02:18 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
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I'm not greedy damnit!! I just want it all!! I want that male s-type that can work beside me or on his own, is fine with just kickin' it watching a movie with me, can carry on a intelligent conversation and lift really heavy things and beyond that I want him to show up!! None of that costs a penny and yet it seems to be the most costly thing in the world.

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

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Post #: 27

RE: Money orThought? - 12/22/2008 11:29:24 AM

SimplyIsaac

Posts: 376
Joined: 12/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: royalgoodness

My First Mistress was a Pro (and No I wasn't her client before. LOL) I swept her off her feet and wowed her with wit charm and thoughtful expensive gifts. With her the price of the gift was as important as the thought. <Boy dfid I get ignore time for taking the easy way out and buying an expensive gift with no thought behind it. LOL>. But back then I was making $500-$700/week.

the main reason that I am not looking right now to pack my bags and go live with who ever might find me agreeable is money.

I mean right now I could pull half of everything but there is soooo little left over afterwords
.
So my questions to You Ladies is...is it important to you that your sub/slave be able to buy you expensive gifts/things you need/want or is it the thought behind it that counts when he/she gets you a gift.

The thought is where its at, but most women who say money doesn't mean anything are being a little phony i think...or they're independently wealthy...

A man's resources are very important to women.

The problem in our society is people accusing women of being all about the money. From my expeirience, it's rare a girl is all about gifts and cash, and if she is she's just not that into you, dude.

(in reply to royalgoodness)

Post #: 28

RE: Money orThought? - 12/22/2008 11:41:56 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Money after simple existance doesn't matter. It is what we bring to life and what other's bring to our life that matter most. At the end of life... will you hold your money or things and think you lived well or will you hold the hand of a loved one, looking into their eyes and know you lived well?

Some women are wise enough to know what matters and to think that what they say is phoney is well.. judgmental and maybe jaded. You know our minds and hearts better than we? lol Okay... how's that going for you?

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to SimplyIsaac)

Post #: 29

RE: Money orThought? - 12/22/2008 1:17:41 PM

MistressDolly

Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyIsaac

quote:

ORIGINAL: royalgoodness

My First Mistress was a Pro (and No I wasn't her client before. LOL) I swept her off her feet and wowed her with wit charm and thoughtful expensive gifts. With her the price of the gift was as important as the thought. <Boy dfid I get ignore time for taking the easy way out and buying an expensive gift with no thought behind it. LOL>. But back then I was making $500-$700/week.

the main reason that I am not looking right now to pack my bags and go live with who ever might find me agreeable is money.

I mean right now I could pull half of everything but there is soooo little left over afterwords
.
So my questions to You Ladies is...is it important to you that your sub/slave be able to buy you expensive gifts/things you need/want or is it the thought behind it that counts when he/she gets you a gift.

The thought is where its at, but most women who say money doesn't mean anything are being a little phony i think...or they're independently wealthy...

A man's resources are very important to women.

The problem in our society is people accusing women of being all about the money. From my expeirience, it's rare a girl is all about gifts and cash, and if she is she's just not that into you, dude.

Absolutely. Women are attracted to generous men, plain and simple. And it is not so much the "gifts" women like, it is the act of generosity that appeals to women. Whether you want to admit it or not, since the beginning of time men have used acts of generosity as a way to appeal to women. If a man spends his money on her, it speaks volumes about his interest in her. Men don't spend much money on a woman they are not that into.

< Message edited by MistressDolly -- 12/22/2008 1:19:02 PM >

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e

(in reply to SimplyIsaac)

Post #: 30

RE: Money orThought? - 12/22/2008 2:49:36 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

For me, generosity goes far beyond the material. If someone takes time to either find something, or create something, with me and only me in mind. Something that they know I will find amazing and beautiful, or that will make my life less stressful.......that is far more special than just walking in a jewelry shop and pointing to the most expensive thing they can afford.

If my office were to catch fire, aside from my handbag and coat, there are three items I would grab. A gaudy inexpensive old art pottery vase ( a gift from someone special ) a very inexpensive and cheesy, flocked, bobbing head chihuahua (also a fun gift) and a pink rock that cost the giver zero dollars and also a gift from a special person.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to MistressDolly)

Post #: 31

RE: Money orThought? - 12/22/2008 2:55:13 PM

MistressDolly

Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

I agree generosity comes in many forms.

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m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e

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Post #: 32

RE: Money orThought? - 12/22/2008 3:49:25 PM

SimplyIsaac

Posts: 376
Joined: 12/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyIsaac

quote:

ORIGINAL: royalgoodness

My First Mistress was a Pro (and No I wasn't her client before. LOL) I swept her off her feet and wowed her with wit charm and thoughtful expensive gifts. With her the price of the gift was as important as the thought. <Boy dfid I get ignore time for taking the easy way out and buying an expensive gift with no thought behind it. LOL>. But back then I was making $500-$700/week.

the main reason that I am not looking right now to pack my bags and go live with who ever might find me agreeable is money.

I mean right now I could pull half of everything but there is soooo little left over afterwords
.
So my questions to You Ladies is...is it important to you that your sub/slave be able to buy you expensive gifts/things you need/want or is it the thought behind it that counts when he/she gets you a gift.

The thought is where its at, but most women who say money doesn't mean anything are being a little phony i think...or they're independently wealthy...

A man's resources are very important to women.

The problem in our society is people accusing women of being all about the money. From my expeirience, it's rare a girl is all about gifts and cash, and if she is she's just not that into you, dude.

Absolutely. Women are attracted to generous men, plain and simple. And it is not so much the "gifts" women like, it is the act of generosity that appeals to women. Whether you want to admit it or not, since the beginning of time men have used acts of generosity as a way to appeal to women. If a man spends his money on her, it speaks volumes about his interest in her. Men don't spend much money on a woman they are not that into.

Much better said!

On a side note...great balls of fire...nice site, Ms. Dolly.

(in reply to MistressDolly)

Post #: 33

RE: Money orThought? - 12/23/2008 4:17:45 AM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

I really hate the concept of money. I mean, really hate it. I'm about as far the other direction from capitalism as one can be because I've always felt it breeds nothing but greed. That's just my opinion, and yes, there's a lot of philosophy behind it, but at the same time I don't hate people who like money, nor people who believe that money is important. I just don't like the concept myself.

Having said that, I live a somewhat comfortable life these days. But I don't focus on money. If I found myself being controlled and then eventually owned by a woman who was so focused on money that it was all that was important to her, I'd have chosen unwisely in my partner. So, I just can't imagine that ever happening. I did run into once with a woman I thought was going to be my life partner (she disliked the concept of money, too, at least until we became very serious, and then it suddenly started coming up in conversations). That didn't work out, mainly because I found that after our honeymoon period of a careful relationship was over, and she figured she had me convinced that she could walk on water (I really still do think she can...although I haven't had people testing how solid that water was), and then kind of started to focus on things like "how can you change your career to make more money?" It kind of got worse after that. I never really expected to be filthy rich, although that may happen one day regardless, but I never expected to be poor either. Apparently, that isn't always enough with some people.

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(in reply to royalgoodness)

Post #: 34

RE: Money orThought? - 12/23/2008 6:29:09 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

Money is important to me to the point where I'm not going to die for lack of medication and starvation. Beyond that... twice is the shopper from hell. She can go into Walmart, buy a couple hundred dollars worth of groceries and walk out with them paying her to take the food home with her!!! That woman knows coupons!!!! I know it's easy to say that money isn't the be all and end all to us because we have it, but it hasn't always been that way. I had an ex that worshipped the almight dollar and he never understood that I would have lived in poverty with him if only I had him to do it with. He was never home, always working, always out for that one more dollar. At four months old his son didn't recognize him, he had never seen the man before. I think that's part of why I'm just not ate up with it. The times I've spent poor are also the times when me and mine have had the most fun.

And let me tell you!! You mention to a male sub/slave type that you aren't in the slightest bit interested in their money or their ability to make money and they will run faster then lightening!!! It's damn near a sure way to loose them!! Threads like this confuse me, they really do. A male sub asks "Is it always about the money?" Then you tell them nope, I'm not interested in it at all, I just want the person... well, money is soooo much easier to give away.

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 35

RE: Money orThought? - 12/23/2008 6:46:03 AM

Vinmier

Posts: 41
Joined: 12/5/2008
Status: offline

My Lady requested a handwritten letter for Christmas, to be waiting for her when she gets home from visiting family. I put in something extra, something I made and I believe she will like it. I bought her a little something, and am giving it to her when I get there, it's not very expensive. In fact, it cost less than 30$, but it's something she needs greatly. I'd go into more details, but it's a surprise and she reads the forums.

For she and I, it's the thought that matters. The monetary value doesn't have anything to do with it in the slightest.

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Post #: 36

RE: Money orThought? - 12/23/2008 7:55:22 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

Money is important to me to the point where I'm not going to die for lack of medication and starvation. Beyond that... twice is the shopper from hell. She can go into Walmart, buy a couple hundred dollars worth of groceries and walk out with them paying her to take the food home with her!!! That woman knows coupons!!!! I know it's easy to say that money isn't the be all and end all to us because we have it, but it hasn't always been that way. I had an ex that worshipped the almight dollar and he never understood that I would have lived in poverty with him if only I had him to do it with. He was never home, always working, always out for that one more dollar. At four months old his son didn't recognize him, he had never seen the man before. I think that's part of why I'm just not ate up with it. The times I've spent poor are also the times when me and mine have had the most fun.

And let me tell you!! You mention to a male sub/slave type that you aren't in the slightest bit interested in their money or their ability to make money and they will run faster then lightening!!! It's damn near a sure way to loose them!! Threads like this confuse me, they really do. A male sub asks "Is it always about the money?" Then you tell them nope, I'm not interested in it at all, I just want the person... well, money is soooo much easier to give away.

Jewel

The online equivalent......

A brief email of hello. To which I always reply hello back. Then they email back, usually with a photo or two attached and ask for a photo of me. To which I reply, yes I have yahoo, and in case they missed it, there are a few photos on my profile.

IF they are not yet discouraged, they write again, asking if I have yahoo and perhaps to chat. To which I reply, "Yes, I told you I do have yahoo. But I prefer to get to know them a bit via email on this site prior to spending valuable time (and I don't want to clutter my yahoo up with morons, it is primarily for very close friends and family) chatting. I explain to them I want them to take some time, read through my profile, then write accordingly. Also, tell me more about them as a person.

Rarely do I get another email, or if so, a "I understand"............and thats the end of it.

The thing is, all too many want to take the easiest route. If they have money, it's easier to just toss it out there as a means to their ends. Online, it's a few photos and flattering words then on to the attempts at wankerville.

When you demand real effort........POOF!!

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 12/23/2008 7:56:35 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Post #: 37

RE: Money orThought? - 12/23/2008 3:16:14 PM

eponastar

Posts: 76
Joined: 11/19/2004
Status: offline

If a woman is more concerned about how much a gift costs than the thought then apparently she is not concerned about you or the effort you put into a relationship. A gift should never based on how much money you spend on it. And a relationship should never be based on how much money you make. Now there is a big difference between that and dating someone who relies on you to pay their bills because they are too lazy to get a job.

Money should never be a factor.

(in reply to royalgoodness)

Post #: 38

RE: Money orThought? - 12/23/2008 11:23:45 PM

FullfigRIMAAM1

Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

Money should never be a factor.

I'll tell that to the mortgage, and utilities people when they try to take my home, lights, or cooking gas away... Oops forgot the Macys people who won't just give me the stuff I wear for free, the greedy bastards.

I think you should grow up and realize that money is a factor, just not necessarily the only factor... M

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to eponastar)

Post #: 39

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