Brat's blackboard (from the Brat Club on fetlife)

Brat's blackboard (from the Brat Club on fetlife) (Full Version)

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Daddysredhead -> Brat's blackboard (from the Brat Club on fetlife) (12/26/2008 9:42:58 PM)
§ I will not carve my name on the flogger handles. § I will not spank others without Sir's permission. § I will not aim for Sir's head. § I will not yell the safe word in the grocery store. § I will not sell the names of my newsgroup list to the National Enquirer. § I will not read and laugh at Sir's logs from the Dom Forum. § I will not yell "fire" every time Sir lights a candle. § Funny noises are not really funny. § Punishment is not boring or pointless. § I will not call Sir “Dr. Death.” § I will not put laxatives in the candy bowl before Sir's D/s party. § I will not hide the newbies or send them Snipe Dom hunting. § I will not bring sheep to the subbie forum. § A burp is not an appropriate response to Sir. § I will not eat all Sir's M & M's while He is at work. § I will not yell "He's tied up" in the subbie forum. § Sir's gags are not to be used to keep children quiet. § I will not call Sir "spud head," "butt head" or any kind of "head". § Sirs ARE perfect. § Mud is not an acceptable side dish for dinner for Sir. § I will not sell snake oil or tiger balm at Sir's D/s parties. § I will not peek out of the blindfold. § There is no such thing as "sub immunity." § I will not sneak into the bathroom when I don't have permission. § I did NOT win an Emmy for my last session. § I will not hide all of Sir's toys. § All play and no work does not a good subbie make. § I cannot fire Sir!!! § My last assignment was not stolen by one-armed net hackers. § I will not scare the newbies by telling them ALL REAL SUBS like bullwhips. § I will refrain from saying "Hail Satan" when I don't like Sir's orders. § I will not waste wax by playing with it or putting it on all of Sir's clamps. § I will not use Sir's bondage table for a skateboard ramp or a slide into the pool. § I will not wear Sir's underwear on my head!! § Sir's dog/cat does not stink! § I will not torment the newbies with the Violet Wand! § I will not use the pages from Sir's Dom Handbook to start the grill. § I will NOT break wind while Sir is doing Domly things to various parts of my anatomy. § I will not laugh uncontrollably when the dog/cat decides to "help" Sir. § Nor will I remind Him that He is sub for the Dog/Cat. § I will faithfully remember that washing Sir's undies with my red sweatshirt is not a good thing to do. § I will try to remember that Sirs are allowed to snore. § I will not copy and paste my Sir's instant messages to the chat room. § "All the other Doms let Their subs do it" is not a valid reason. § I will not grin when my Sir is lecturing me. § I will not get my subbie friends into trouble, as they are capable of doing that on their own. § I will not refer to my Sir as "Cute" when He is angry. § I will not flash my Sir when He is playing Jenga. § Patience is not something found in hospitals. § "Ow, that hurt" is not my safe word. § I will not suggest that we paint the ceiling beige when I am bound on my back. § I will not correct my Sir by telling Him that my directions are better than His. § I will not run screaming from the bathtub screaming piranha, shark, mad evil ducky, or any other sea creature. § I will not start singing "This is the song that never ends" when getting punished. § I will not use the whip as a chew toy. § I will not substitute party mix tape with a never ending loop of "It's a small world". § Sub does not mean Substitute Dom. § I will not sing "hang low sweet chariot" when a new sub arrives or DOM/ME de DOM/ME Dumb when a new Master/Mistress arrives. § I will not throw a water balloon when Sir is sleeping. § I am not allowed to put marshmallows in the microwave. § I will not put salt in the sugar dish. § I am not allowed to play with Sir's keys. § I am not allowed to hide Sir's toys on the dashboard of His car. § I will not fill the inside of Sir's car with water to clean the inside. § I am not a good knife thrower even if they stick in the wall good. § I will not sing "The answer my friend is blowing in the wind" when Sir has gas. § I will not super glue the phone down. § I will not remove all the batteries from the remotes or any batteries from the remotes. § I will not shave the dog/cat with Sir's razor, or brush its teeth with His toothbrush. § I am not allowed to post for a whipping boy to take my punishment for me. § I will not put snap pops under the toilet seat; I will not laugh uncontrollably when they go off. § Holidays are not free days.

MarksFantasyGirl -> RE: Brat's blackboard (from the Brat Club on fetlife) (12/26/2008 10:16:03 PM)
OMG!! I just imagined saying and doing some of these to Sweets. The bad part is, He really has a hard time not laughing at me!! lol I love the Grining when I'm getting a lecture thing! lmao

persephonee -> RE: Brat's blackboard (from the Brat Club on fetlife) (12/27/2008 2:21:41 AM)
Oh thank gawd! i now know why im single....whew....what a relief. At least i know its cuz im a brat and not because i cant take a hit!...Just think of all the time i wasted this year scening and scening and scening....

T1981 -> RE: Brat's blackboard (from the Brat Club on fetlife) (12/27/2008 7:40:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead § I will not yell the safe word in the grocery store. § I will not yell "fire" every time Sir lights a candle. . § I will not call Sir “Dr. Death.” § A burp is not an appropriate response to Sir. § I will not peek out of the blindfold. § I will NOT break wind while Sir is doing Domly things to various parts of my anatomy. § I will not laugh uncontrollably when the dog/cat decides to "help" Sir. § I will not suggest that we paint the ceiling beige when I am bound on my back. § I will not run screaming from the bathtub screaming piranha, shark, mad evil ducky, or any other sea creature. § I will not start singing "This is the song that never ends" when getting punished. BWAHAHAHA!!!!! This was AWESOME! Thank you so much for sharing this!!!!

celticlord2112 -> RE: Brat's blackboard (from the Brat Club on fetlife) (12/27/2008 9:25:04 AM)
quote: I will not sell snake oil or tiger balm at Sir's D/s parties. Any reason why not? Granted, capsaicin is more entertaining.....

Daddysredhead -> RE: Brat's blackboard (from the Brat Club on fetlife) (12/27/2008 9:33:14 AM)
Aren't these funny? I just died laughing at most of them. I sent them to DB, but He has remained noticeably quiet. Hmmm... [8\|]

sirsholly -> RE: Brat's blackboard (from the Brat Club on fetlife) (12/27/2008 10:07:08 AM)
quote: I will refrain from saying "Hail Satan" when I don't like Sir's orders. l i actually did this...once

SteelofUtah -> RE: Brat's blackboard (from the Brat Club on fetlife) (12/27/2008 10:22:02 AM)
Things that don't go over well. "You are so cute when that vein throbs in your forehead" "Sir, How come you don't look all Manly when you Beat me?" "You look Goffy as hell holding that thing" "Ummmmm, I don't know what I'm Supposed to doDo you want me to Cry cause if so you are gunna have to hit me a LOT harder than that." "In Case you are wondering I'm not made of glass, so you don't need to keep asking me if I'm Okay, Those Hits are hardley even registering." "I'm trying not to laugh but when you Pose before each strike it's just so damn cute." "Do you want me to show you how to properly tie this knot?" "Yes Sir you are Way Domly, and I'm cowering under your manly ways." "Okay this isn't fun anymore are you gunna be done soon?" Steel

sirsholly -> RE: Brat's blackboard (from the Brat Club on fetlife) (12/27/2008 10:40:05 AM)
or..when he is having difficulity tying the rope...grabbing it out of his hands and bellowing "Here..let ME do it" is not a good move. And yes, i actually did this...once

Saratov -> RE: Brat's blackboard (from the Brat Club on fetlife) (12/27/2008 1:28:55 PM)
[8\|] Sounds almost like Sirsholly likes to be in trouble. [sm=danger.gif] Other subbies/slave keep your distance, it could be contagious or she may drag you along with her.

GoodFeathers -> RE: Brat's blackboard (from the Brat Club on fetlife) (12/27/2008 1:52:43 PM)
I will not pat him on the tusch and tell him he is a "Good Sir". I will not hide the tobasco sauce, nor will I use up the last of it and not say anything. I will not demonstrate how to properly use a paddle. I will not scream, "Oh beautiful, wonderful rape!" during a scene. I will not try to make him blush in public, no matter how adorable I think it is. Sir is not "boyishly cute" when he is angry with me. He is angry looking, which is boyishly cute, but you didn't hear that from me. I will not frighten the little old lady next door by puposefully having a flogger sent to her place. I will not go to pick up said flogger in my "uniform". @Saratov: I don't need sirsholly's help to get into trouble. I do that just fine on my own, thank you very much. ^_^

Kalista07 -> RE: Brat's blackboard (from the Brat Club on fetlife) (12/27/2008 2:15:31 PM)
Damn...Why don't Ya'll tell me these things sooner.....Apparently You need to add "i will not pretend that i am going to beat Him with a roll of wrapping paper.." repeatedly.... And enjoy it...... hmmm...Who would've thought...... ahem...and by "pretend" i mean of course really make contact with His ass. Kali

mydomsabstrd -> RE: Brat's blackboard (from the Brat Club on fetlife) (12/27/2008 4:11:10 PM)
craps........i should be taking notes lol

Daddysredhead -> RE: Brat's blackboard (from the Brat Club on fetlife) (12/27/2008 5:14:23 PM)
Dear gary... what AM I going to do with you people? [8\|] I suppose if we're confessing stuff, I'll say that it's NOT a good idea to stare down your Master when you are way beyond angry (in a rare bitch-fest that has left you out of your mind), chiding Him until He says, "You're really asking for it, aren't you? You just want me to lose my temper and my mind, don't you?" UNLESS... you are able to reel it back in and think on your feet incredibly fast, and drop it back and say, "No... and You wouldn't do that, because then it would mean that I had misjudged You from the start, and I'm not that bad a judge of character, now am I?" look completely innocent, and bat eyes slowly while slowly walking towards Him, wrapping your arms around His middle, and putting your head on His chest If you get that far without getting your ass beaten, you are NOT manipulative, you are self-correcting, and brilliant. [8\|] whew

mydomsabstrd -> RE: Brat's blackboard (from the Brat Club on fetlife) (12/27/2008 5:53:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead Dear gary... what AM I going to do with you people? [8\|] I suppose if we're confessing stuff, I'll say that it's NOT a good idea to stare down your Master when you are way beyond angry (in a rare bitch-fest that has left you out of your mind), chiding Him until He says, "You're really asking for it, aren't you? You just want me to lose my temper and my mind, don't you?" UNLESS... you are able to reel it back in and think on your feet incredibly fast, and drop it back and say, "No... and You wouldn't do that, because then it would mean that I had misjudged You from the start, and I'm not that bad a judge of character, now am I?" look completely innocent, and bat eyes slowly while slowly walking towards Him, wrapping your arms around His middle, and putting your head on His chest If you get that far without getting your ass beaten, you are NOT manipulative, you are self-correcting, and brilliant. [8\|] whew yes brilliant lol

sunshinemiss -> RE: Brat's blackboard (from the Brat Club on fetlife) (12/27/2008 8:39:50 PM)
I'm not sposed to put marshmallows in the microwave? Is that in the new edition of the s-type handbook? Now where'd I put my copy? sunshine, the goodest girl in the world....

Saratov -> RE: Brat's blackboard (from the Brat Club on fetlife) (12/27/2008 9:33:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss sunshine, the goodest girl in the world.... [sm=LMAO.gif] Is that a self proclaimed title for a self created position? [sm=rofl.gif]

GoodFeathers -> RE: Brat's blackboard (from the Brat Club on fetlife) (12/27/2008 9:39:39 PM)
Hang on! There's a handbook?! Are they standard issue? Why didn't I get one??

KyttynTheMynx -> RE: Brat's blackboard (from the Brat Club on fetlife) (12/28/2008 12:16:01 AM)
Well, there goes my week with the Man. I was gonna try a few of these too! -walks off all sad-

krikket -> RE: Brat's blackboard (from the Brat Club on fetlife) (12/28/2008 7:17:05 AM)
Looking at Master and saying "you silly boy!" (rubs tushie in memory..lol)

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