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Any Married Here with Vanilla Spouses? - 1/2/2009 2:39:28 PM   
ABigBill469


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/2/2009
Status: offline 		MWM here, wife vanilla.

Whats one to do...........LOL
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Any Married Here with Vanilla Spouses? - 1/2/2009 3:23:24 PM   
bardtothebone


Posts: 840
Joined: 9/21/2006
From: Central CA.
Status: offline 		Good question, Bill; If one does nothing, the suppressed desire can devour you as surely as acid. But should one yield to the need and find a companionate bond with the opposite gender, the current spouse could quite likely discover this covert connection and display a sudden and daunting ability for dominant passion - with her spouse as its focus and victim.

The situation deserves cautious consideration. A home and a marriage are the wager at risk if the path that is chosen turns out to be wrong.

Welcome. And good luck with your quest.

The Bard

< Message edited by bardtothebone -- 1/2/2009 3:26:34 PM >

_____________________________

"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest."' Mark Twain.

Why the Ice Cream? Read this...

(in reply to ABigBill469)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Any Married Here with Vanilla Spouses? - 1/2/2009 3:32:18 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Be repaired that you won't receive a very warm welcome if you're cheating on your wife to be here.

There's flocks and flocks here who'll rip you a new cyber ass for cheating on her, cheating isn't tolerated very well around here.

(in reply to bardtothebone)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Any Married Here with Vanilla Spouses? - 1/2/2009 3:52:56 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		What's one to do? Be honest.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to ABigBill469)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Any Married Here with Vanilla Spouses? - 1/2/2009 5:32:21 PM   
monywildcat


Posts: 452
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline 		What's one to do?  Show wifey this post.  She'll love it.  May even spank you.  Seriously, at first glance it appeared to be an ad from craigslist. 

But, on a serious note, welcome,  I personally would suggest you talk to her about your desires and see where the conversation takes you.  She may surprise you.  But you will never know if you don't open your mouth and verbalize what you are after. 

_____________________________

Major Life Change Necessitates Personal Reinvention...

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Any Married Here with Vanilla Spouses? - 1/2/2009 5:50:29 PM   
BalletBob


Posts: 1645
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		Yes, and I am happily married too, for 34 years. Now I do have some fun, with my wife's blessing. She knows there will be NO SEX with anyone else but her. I am not here for sex. I am here to find friends and maybe have some fun. She knows my Hobbies and doesn't mind , as long as I don't get too involved. She doesn't mind me having a little FUN, as long as that is all it is.

Madly in Love with my Bunny Muffins, BalletBob

_____________________________

"I get my kicks above the Waistline, Sunshine"

(in reply to ABigBill469)
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RE: Any Married Here with Vanilla Spouses? - 1/2/2009 6:06:12 PM   
ChainGoddess


Posts: 731
Joined: 9/27/2008
From: Ireland
Status: offline 		Talk to her.  Welcome to collarme.

_____________________________

"Chain of command: I say it. You do it! End of chain."

Anne Rice- When you think night and day and every moment only of pleasing me, things will be very easy for you.

I could give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter.

(in reply to ABigBill469)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Any Married Here with Vanilla Spouses? - 1/3/2009 1:38:09 PM   
Voodali


Posts: 255
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline 		As a domme frequently bothered by married men, my advice to you is that you read profiles carefully before contacting anyone.  Failiure to do so may result in insulting emails.  Also, out of respect for us all, please make it absolutely clear to anyone contacting you that you're married.  If your passions are so undeniable that they lead you to be dishonest to your wife, I agree that you should talk to her, and hope that she'd be willing to work some sort of arrangement out with you.  If nothing else, perhaps she'd tolerate some online fantasy ?  Maybe you could write some erotic fiction to get it out of your system ?

(in reply to ChainGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Any Married Here with Vanilla Spouses? - 1/4/2009 8:41:53 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Writing erotic fiction is not going to get the desire to Dominate someone and engage in bdsm out of your system, for most people, it will only increase it. Hell when I was writing erotica, I got hornier for what I was fantasizing about not less.


Of course it could work for people, you never know.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Voodali

Maybe you could write some erotic fiction to get it out of your system ?

(in reply to Voodali)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Any Married Here with Vanilla Spouses? - 1/4/2009 11:02:26 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5159
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ABigBill469

MWM here, wife vanilla.

Whats one to do...........LOL


Yes, have been in just that position.  A person does the best he/she can under the circumstances.  I resigned myself to being online only (with his knowledge).  Then he died. 

(in reply to ABigBill469)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Any Married Here with Vanilla Spouses? - 1/6/2009 11:08:37 AM   
lateralist1


Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		Talking worked for me maybe it will for you.
Take care and good luck.

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Any Married Here with Vanilla Spouses? - 1/11/2009 2:00:23 PM   
Dryden


Posts: 1
Joined: 1/10/2009
Status: offline 		Married here, in the same boat and new new to the forum. From the responses I gather that married folks seeking to fill a missing component in their life are frowned upon in general.

Fair enough, but I want to say that I have a need that's not fulfilled in my other wise happy relationship and no amount of talking is going to change that with my spouse. 

I'm not looking for a "cheating" relationship. I'm  hoping to find a friend in a similar situation to establish a caring and mutually fulfilling relationship.  Oh well - stepping off the soapbox.  Hello to all   

(in reply to lateralist1)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Any Married Here with Vanilla Spouses? - 1/12/2009 1:24:10 AM   
Celene


Posts: 158
Joined: 12/28/2007
Status: offline 		The site is crawling with married men. . . to answer your first question. Only you can answer the second, but I've seen the advice I'd give you already posted more than once.

_____________________________

That was then, this is now.

(in reply to Dryden)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Any Married Here with Vanilla Spouses? - 1/12/2009 2:39:16 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		I don't think it is that married people are frowned upon, it is more that married people who are involving their spouses non-consensually in their kink that I for one would avoid.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dryden

Married here, in the same boat and new new to the forum. From the responses I gather that married folks seeking to fill a missing component in their life are frowned upon in general.

Fair enough, but I want to say that I have a need that's not fulfilled in my other wise happy relationship and no amount of talking is going to change that with my spouse. 

I'm not looking for a "cheating" relationship. I'm  hoping to find a friend in a similar situation to establish a caring and mutually fulfilling relationship.  Oh well - stepping off the soapbox.  Hello to all   


_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to Dryden)
Profile   Post #: 14
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