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anal relaxation - 1/5/2009 10:24:36 AM

Scorpion18

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I'm training a new slut onlnie - I can't get her to fuck herself in the ass, seems she can't relax enough. Anyone got any techniques or substances they'd recommend using?

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RE: anal relaxation - 1/5/2009 10:28:40 AM

T1981

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I am a sub who is going through anal training, but I can only speak for the method that works to get me relaxed.

Pain. And in specific, pain through impact play. A good beating session where I've been worked up to my limit, let linger there, down, then back up, maybe over, back down, etc etc for 20 or 30 with anal teasing (only teasing, finger or vibrator) minutes relaxes me to the point where I can take my husband's cock in my ass. We did that very heavily last night, and for the first time ever, I actually BEGGED for anal.

But this depends on one very, very very important key point: Does she like pain and does it sexually arouse her? If you don't really know the answer to that, then just toss my response out the window because it may only scare and hurt her more (and not in that good way)

EDIT: I just realized that you'd asked this question about an online submissive you are training. Has she ever had anal done before? If she hasn't or if she has and didn't like it, trying to do it alone could be extra difficult. Not impossible, but for me, it's always helped to have an actual person with me to submit to, to help me through the harder parts....

< Message edited by T1981 -- 1/5/2009 10:36:56 AM >

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RE: anal relaxation - 1/5/2009 10:59:19 AM

hopeful68

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How long have you been trainer her. How much does she disire to follow your orders. Have more patience. Inspire her to take it not demand that she does. Alot has to do with your relationship with her and how much she wants to please you. If your post here indicates your level of respect, it wouldnt surprise me if she dosnt care whether she takes it or not.

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RE: anal relaxation - 1/5/2009 11:19:09 AM

mc1234

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Yes. I'd suggest meeting in person and you helping her relax.

Better yet - I'd suggest you search for 'anal' on these forums to get the 'how to's' down pat on something you're training your 'slut' to do. I've only managed to do anal comfortably when in a very trusting relationship, with someone who knew what he was doing and who gave me the positive reinforcement to overcome my fears.

I'm curious - what are you having her use to try and fuck herself in the ass? What size is it?

< Message edited by mc1234 -- 1/5/2009 11:30:42 AM >

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RE: anal relaxation - 1/5/2009 4:37:40 PM

MasterTslave

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it would be hard to take it up the ass from yourself...you would want to stop as soon as it hurt. She may end up just telling you a lie to get you to stop telling her to do it. It is something that is best done not online, but in real time.

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RE: anal relaxation - 1/5/2009 4:43:32 PM

angelikaJ

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2 books to read...one for her
:http://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Guide-Anal-Sex-Women/dp/1573440280

one for you:
http://www.amazon.com/Anal-Pleasure-Health-Guide-Women/dp/0940208202/ref=pd_sim_b_2

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RE: anal relaxation - 1/5/2009 5:16:13 PM

Aileen1968

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Scorpion18

I'm training a new slut onlnie - I can't get her to fuck herself in the ass, seems she can't relax enough. Anyone got any techniques or substances they'd recommend using?

I recommend that she gets a new dom...one that will fuck her up the ass.

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RE: anal relaxation - 1/5/2009 5:34:13 PM

SoulPiercer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

quote:

ORIGINAL: Scorpion18

I'm training a new slut onlnie - I can't get her to fuck herself in the ass, seems she can't relax enough. Anyone got any techniques or substances they'd recommend using?

I recommend that she gets a new dom...one that will fuck her up the ass.

Thank you Aileen. That was the best response so far.

Here's a sure fire technique for you Scorpion18. A technique that I recommend for inexperienced dominants who struggle with training "new sluts", online or otherwise, in the fine art of anal sex.

Step 1. Get some lube, smear it on your middle finger, then gently slide said finger up your own ass.

Once can take your finger without crying like a little girl, move on to anal plugs and finally a nice thick dildo.

Why, you ask? Because once you know how it feels to have something up your ass .. you can be more considerate of anyone who is willing to take the risk of exploring anal sex with you.

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RE: anal relaxation - 1/5/2009 5:59:42 PM

opposingtwilight

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I giggled when I read this mostly because there are so few doms who would actually go through with it.

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RE: anal relaxation - 1/5/2009 6:40:24 PM

DarkSteven

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I suspect that you're pushing her to move too quickly. Take time. Lots of time. Lots of lube. Like others have said, first time anal is ideally not done online but in person.

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RE: anal relaxation - 1/5/2009 7:01:50 PM

trealeon

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quote:

ORIGINAL: T1981

I am a sub who is going through anal training, but I can only speak for the method that works to get me relaxed.

Pain. And in specific, pain through impact play. A good beating session where I've been worked up to my limit, let linger there, down, then back up, maybe over, back down, etc etc for 20 or 30 with anal teasing (only teasing, finger or vibrator) minutes relaxes me to the point where I can take my husband's cock in my ass. We did that very heavily last night, and for the first time ever, I actually BEGGED for anal.

But this depends on one very, very very important key point: Does she like pain and does it sexually arouse her? If you don't really know the answer to that, then just toss my response out the window because it may only scare and hurt her more (and not in that good way)

EDIT: I just realized that you'd asked this question about an online submissive you are training. Has she ever had anal done before? If she hasn't or if she has and didn't like it, trying to do it alone could be extra difficult. Not impossible, but for me, it's always helped to have an actual person with me to submit to, to help me through the harder parts....

Actually, I had a girl who was similar to you (similar in that pain helped her relax). We were apart for a few months and during that time she requested to learn anal because she wanted to have it mastered by the time we saw each other again, so I attempted to train her online/over the phone.

It worked but it worked because we did something similar to you. She was able to relax by receiving stimulus (pain/pleasure) at the same time. Started off slow obviously and it was definitely harder to do it long distance but she succeeded, by the time I saw her physically the next time, she had already gotten to the point of being able to do anal with her dildo and she was ready for me.

But we were on the phone/webcam virtually every night for three months, me helping her work through it. To the OP it is possible, it will take time, and you definitely need to take it slow and start out small.

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RE: anal relaxation - 1/5/2009 7:03:52 PM

RainydayNE

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i think doing it online would be really hard =p like others have said, if something makes you freak out, you're unlikely to keep it up yourself. having someone else do it is usually best =p
as for relaxation, i dunno, i mentioned it in another thread but maybe she could try it after she wakes up in the morning if she has time? you're already kinda relaxed then and alot of your self-censoring things haven't booted up yet =p some people don't like doing stuff in the morning but it's worth a shot

< Message edited by RainydayNE -- 1/5/2009 7:05:52 PM >

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RE: anal relaxation - 1/5/2009 7:15:21 PM

pnut8377

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

quote:

ORIGINAL: Scorpion18

I'm training a new slut onlnie - I can't get her to fuck herself in the ass, seems she can't relax enough. Anyone got any techniques or substances they'd recommend using?

I recommend that she gets a new dom...one that will fuck her up the ass.

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and realize you've lost a diamond
while you were to busy collecting stones....

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RE: anal relaxation - 1/5/2009 11:58:54 PM

CountrySong

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Try a warm to hot enema and make sure she is pushing out like she is trying to take a dump when she inserts. Do a lot of anal porn. Also start small with something that does not hurt and work up in size over a long period of time (6 months).

Oh and I agree you should be there.

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RE: anal relaxation - 1/6/2009 1:02:54 AM

GimpinDenial

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ok...follow this link PRECISELY
http://tinyurl.com/7n5d4s

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RE: anal relaxation - 1/6/2009 5:10:09 AM

bamagirl4u

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Speaking as one who has finally admitted I do NOT enjoy anal I can honestly say I would be more willing to try it if a Dom were willing to take a similiar size vibrator in his ass as well. Why?? Because he needs to know how it feels as well. You can't expect someone to enjoy something if you aren't willing to see how it feels. I thinks for those that love it...great...but for me...not so much. One bad experience and well....that pretty much tainted it for me...

but I won't close the door on it forever either...but it would take a truly patient Dom to get me to try it.

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RE: anal relaxation - 1/6/2009 5:23:17 AM

BondageBarbieX

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I would have her wear butt pugs during the day.Have her start with a small one and then increase the size over a couple of weeks till she can take a good sized one easily.I would then have her start with dildos and start with a small one as well and have her work up to the size you want her to fuck herself with....have her use plenty of lube too.

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RE: anal relaxation - 1/6/2009 6:07:06 AM

celticlord2112

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quote:

Because he needs to know how it feels as well. You can't expect someone to enjoy something if you aren't willing to see how it feels.

No, he doesn't, and yes, you can.

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RE: anal relaxation - 1/6/2009 7:08:37 AM

colouredin

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Hmm personally I am with the 'you should be there' posse. Its actually bloody hard to fuck yourself in the arse, maybe its just me but my arms dont really bend that way.

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RE: anal relaxation - 1/6/2009 7:10:59 AM

T1981

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quote:

ORIGINAL: trealeon

Actually, I had a girl who was similar to you (similar in that pain helped her relax). We were apart for a few months and during that time she requested to learn anal because she wanted to have it mastered by the time we saw each other again, so I attempted to train her online/over the phone.

It worked but it worked because we did something similar to you. She was able to relax by receiving stimulus (pain/pleasure) at the same time. Started off slow obviously and it was definitely harder to do it long distance but she succeeded, by the time I saw her physically the next time, she had already gotten to the point of being able to do anal with her dildo and she was ready for me.

But we were on the phone/webcam virtually every night for three months, me helping her work through it. To the OP it is possible, it will take time, and you definitely need to take it slow and start out small.

Good to know I'm not the only one! Whew! Yes, for me, pain is the key - but it has to be done properly, lots of build up, can't just start out with full on whacking. Even with vanilla types of anal sex, foreplay is soooo important. It's just that for me, the foreplay that helps me the most is pain.

And it is taking time - I imagine it will take us three months if not longer to really get me comfortable with it. Absolutely!

< Message edited by T1981 -- 1/6/2009 7:11:41 AM >

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