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RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 4:20:11 PM

Venatrix

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

M,

Thank you so much. That cheered me up. I thought I found someone fantastic last year, but it doesn't matter how fantastic he is if he won't show up. We'll have to see who turns up in my in-box. The in-person pickings in San Francisco are surprisingly lean, but I still have a shred or two of optimism left.

Share your shred? Please?

I was going to tell you to get your own damned shred, Francine, but then I saw the bouquet of flowers. I'm such a pushover, honestly. But you'll have to come and pick it up in person (you know I'm going to get you out here one way or the other).

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Post #: 41

RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 4:24:03 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Awww! You're such a pal, Paige!

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Post #: 42

RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 4:26:29 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I am looking for a life partner, yes. However, I have had one of those amazingly bad years too (my first one back in the game, nearly my last!) and the two men that interest me at the moment are minion material, not henchmen! I have always made the distinction between the categories.

(Hmmmmmmmm).

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Post #: 43

RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 4:27:39 PM

LadyHibiscus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I am looking for a life partner, yes. However, I have had one of those amazingly bad years too (my first one back in the game, nearly my last!) and the two men that interest me at the moment are minion material, not henchmen! I have always made the distinction between the categories.

(Hmmmmmmmm).

Hmmmm yourself TEASEMONSTER!! Hmph. Where's that picture, anyway?

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Post #: 44

RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 4:29:06 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Is polygamy allowed in this post. I want to marry all of you.

Oh, for God's sake, Raymond, most of the women on Ask a Mistress aren't *that* desperate.

Ain't nothing wrong with playing the percentages there Raymond.

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Post #: 45

RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 4:43:08 PM

tornaway

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Ultimately , I'd like a commited relationship . If that proved durable and brought joy to both sides , I might consider marriage . But it's certainly not something I require , or actively seek out .

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Post #: 46

RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 5:05:33 PM

Reigna

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix
... it doesn't matter how fantastic he is if he won't show up.

Dear god, yes. What do these people expect if a commitment to show up at 5 PM means nothing? People! Consider the 80/20 rule--just show up more or less on the day and at approximately the time you say you'll be there, and you're well over half the way!

quote:

The in-person pickings in San Francisco are surprisingly lean, but I still have a shred or two of optimism left.

Slim pickings anywhere doesn't surprise me. There seems to be a universal rule governing the proportion of wheat to chaff. Lots of wheat = lots of chaff. Your threshing gear is due for a workout--and have fun with that--but there is reason for optimism. Good luck.

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Post #: 47

RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 6:14:20 PM

LadyPact

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I'm already married, so I probably don't count.

I do, however, find that I'm more attracted to subs who have some sense of commitment.

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Post #: 48

RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 6:27:03 PM

AllThingsGo42

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lol well, I dont like the conspet of marrige in genral, but, if it serves a pratical pourpose (like My Master and I have discussed it because of visa reasons) then sure whatever. I have an odd view because I have always been pressured to get married in the greek orthadox church, meanang Whoever my hubby might be will have to babtize/

idk just do what feels right

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Post #: 49

RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 7:38:03 PM

SunNMoon

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Hopefully someday. I'm young, so I look but it's not a goal.

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Post #: 50

RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 7:54:10 PM

DominaSusan

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I was married when I met my slave and I’m still married, but now to my slave. I looked for and went after husband number 1 and fell in love with my slave and he’s the real deal. Age, wisdom and good sex go a long way into making this work. But what really is the coup-de-grace, total satisfaction. I can me me and he can be he and that has made all the difference.

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Post #: 51

RE: Marriage? - 1/10/2009 6:30:01 AM

MsStarlett

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As always, I'm a day late and a dollar short getting around to this thread.

I've been married to my adorable husband for 22 years. He's not exactly a sub or a Dom... but he's getting less and less vanilla every day. Maybe he is best described as a 'blossoming switch'. The one thing that I know he is NOT is a pain slut. Therefore, my sub boys are there to fill in that gap for me.

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Post #: 52

RE: Marriage? - 1/10/2009 6:31:51 AM

sirsholly

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quote:

I've been married to my adorable husband for 22 years

OMG!!! 22 years and you still call him adorable? How AWESOME is this??!!!!!!!

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Post #: 53

RE: Marriage? - 1/10/2009 6:36:17 AM

FullfigRIMAAM1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

I've been married to my adorable husband for 22 years

OMG!!! 22 years and you still call him adorable? How AWESOME is this??!!!!!!!

The only way I could tolerate a man for more than 1 year is if I could describe him as adorable, so it must be true, and why she's still with him.
We all know adorable people; I wonder why those of us who have been married, have not married those folks... M

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Post #: 54

RE: Marriage? - 1/10/2009 6:53:45 AM

MsStarlett

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Yes. He's very adorable. Funny thing is I don't see grey hair and wrinkles when I look at my beloved spouse. I see every heartbreaking torment and humiliation that I have put him through... and how he weathered it and stayed by my side. He's a great guy.

I find it amusing that all of my subs who have met him or spoken to him on the phone when he calls to check up on me say "Wow. He's a really nice guy." One sub (who sadly didn't work out) called him "Mister Sir." We both found that hilarious. I started thinking about how I should make all my boys call him that. But it was just so FUNNY because it just doesn't 'work'. You'd have to know how sweet and easy going my hubby is to know how ironic that was.

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Post #: 55

RE: Marriage? - 1/10/2009 7:39:13 AM

Dastan

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If I may offer my opinion to the ladies....

Any Submissive dreams about finding that One special person he can submit to without questions or doubts in his heart, which is much more important than anything and it is what grants Her his indentured service and love to please Her without limits. I guess all men in your culture quickly see things that make them treat BDSM as a casual non-committment activity (not committed in THAT level) but others need to find a significant other that complements as much as defines themselves as a person and helps complete a picture.

Any Submissive who enters a BDSM relationship that transcends the playtime scenes and games of the lifestyle and evolves into a deep emotional stage of sexual and emotional confidence and exchange and where there can be floggings and boot lickings as much as walks on the beach holding hands and going out to a dinner-and-a-movie dates without any leather in sight is eventually going to evolve and progress into it enough to ask the question to that special Lady like no other because life with Her seems to be natural and logical and life without Her, seems a monstruous thought.

Now, perhaps some may live together for 20 years and not marry like others. Marriage is defined by most of its detractors or critics as an isntitution based on mutual exclusivity, and of course, in the case of non-monogamous relationships on the Mistress side only, based on the bond that ties them together and establishes a sense of trust and safety as the institution of marriage is a contract which is meant to strenghten a bond and create mutual obligations to ensure emotional/mental peace that the other person won't leave out of whim, that She will be with you and stick together for better or worse, making a compromise to work for the relationship's progress and stability and because that also seems as a way to ensure trust by creating obligation out of love, in a good way in which this obligation is voluntary and a positive reassurance that makes each one of them proud.

Others would define it as simply a way to evolve into a deeper state of committment, just as a Submissive evolves into a Slaves as 2 become 1 in a relationship and lines or boundaries of shape and distances become fuzzy and the yin-yang merges and fuses together into a number of grey tones like mixing 2 colors of paint to a homogeneous color.

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Post #: 56

RE: Marriage? - 1/10/2009 7:55:35 AM

silkenfire

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I initially looked on CM (when I moved to this area, so in August) for a Master I could marry. As a 21 year old with severe maternal instincts, I want children -- and I also want a outwardly normal life. It means a LOT to me not to have children outside of marriage.

I have looked ever since I was 18 for relationships with that "possibility" -- the type that you know will NEVER settle down, are the type I avoided. But I dated several in LTRs that were of the "well maybe in 10 years" types -- so I wasn't looking for anything so quick as a mail order marriage *grins*.

I'm with my first "real" master -- meaning I've been with so-called Masters that were more vanilla than my so-called vanilla bfs. However, now I'm in a great relationship with a great power dynamic that makes me quite happy. It's still in its early stages and it's way too early to tell the net outcome, but I am with someone who is just as interested in marriage and children as I. So the ideal outcome could occur, at some point, if it is meant to be, although obviously not until we're more settled, stable, and really truly ready.

Some people have taken it badly that I was so gung ho about getting married and having children, but I always viewed it as something everyone should know -- if someone REALLY was against the idea, it would always be a problem within the relationship, given my feelings. I could wait 10 years or longer (although I'd really rather have children sooner, as it's healthier for my physical body) I'm in no hurry -- but I like the idea of stability.

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Post #: 57

RE: Marriage? - 1/10/2009 8:07:49 AM

Lockit

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I don't think that marriage is an evolution or process to an evolution to a deeper and more meaningful relationship. I think that comes from two people... who go there... and are committed with or without the legalities or paper work. And... if I were to get married... we better darn well have that evolution already done and figured out. (Meaning having already a deep personal connection and commitment.) Yes it can still grow as any relationship can as time goes on... but marriage has nothing to do with it in my opinion. It is the people that make the difference.

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Post #: 58

RE: Marriage? - 1/10/2009 12:05:14 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

M,

Thank you so much. That cheered me up. I thought I found someone fantastic last year, but it doesn't matter how fantastic he is if he won't show up. We'll have to see who turns up in my in-box. The in-person pickings in San Francisco are surprisingly lean, but I still have a shred or two of optimism left.

The best subs are in Seattle.

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Post #: 59

RE: Marriage? - 1/10/2009 3:11:32 PM

LadyHibiscus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

M,

Thank you so much. That cheered me up. I thought I found someone fantastic last year, but it doesn't matter how fantastic he is if he won't show up. We'll have to see who turns up in my in-box. The in-person pickings in San Francisco are surprisingly lean, but I still have a shred or two of optimism left.

TEASEMONSTER.
The best subs are in Seattle.