Is oral a sign of submission? (Full Version)

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rednicky -> Is oral a sign of submission? (1/18/2009 1:27:51 PM)

It seems that the dominant partner is always asking (or demanding) oral sex from their partner. But never offering it. So is it safe that oral for the sub is pretty much out of the question unless it's specifically asked for? I hope the answer is no...because I really want to try getting oral one day. And without having to ask. But I've never heard of an instance where the Dom says "Lay down and open you legs, slut. I'm going to give your p*ssy such a licking."



NCNutCase -> RE: Is oral a sign of submission? (1/18/2009 1:31:05 PM)

Teasing a submissive with fingers, toys and/or the tongue is a very effective way to control her mind and body... With a litle creativity a Dominant should have no problem offering oral sex while maintaining his/her 'authority'.



beargonewild -> RE: Is oral a sign of submission? (1/18/2009 1:31:43 PM)

Not really. My former used to love giving oral as much as receiving oral. 



servantheart -> RE: Is oral a sign of submission? (1/18/2009 1:32:59 PM)

Oh for God's sake.  Any Dom who absolutely refuses to do oral on their slave just because it seems "unDomly" to them is too insecure in their leadership, and needs to return to Dom School, imo.
 
Oral is not a submissive act, since it is the Dom who decides when to do it, regardless of how often His/Her slave wishes to receive it. 



CalifChick -> RE: Is oral a sign of submission? (1/18/2009 1:34:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

But I've never heard of an instance where the Dom says "Lay down and open you legs, slut. I'm going to give your p*ssy such a licking."



Then you're dating the wrong men.  It's only submissive if he calls you "mommy" while he's doing it.


Cali



rednicky -> RE: Is oral a sign of submission? (1/18/2009 1:34:43 PM)

Well this makes me feel better. I haven't actually dated yet. I'm just mentally preparing myself for what's ahead. I already warned y'all in the intro section that I'd have questions.



NuevaVida -> RE: Is oral a sign of submission? (1/18/2009 1:39:32 PM)

It is the intention behind the act, not the act itself, that portrays dominance or submission.



CalifChick -> RE: Is oral a sign of submission? (1/18/2009 1:42:13 PM)

At first glance, my answer seems a bit sarcastic.  However, just this one time, I was serious.  It happened to me.  Once.


Cali



SubbieScarlette -> RE: Is oral a sign of submission? (1/18/2009 1:44:25 PM)

I would say from experience that giving oral is generally a submissive act, but it can easily be used as a torture method/ reward/ tease. One of my former Masters would routinely give me oral until I was screaming for him to stop because I couldn't cum anymore and he would laugh and continue. 



rednicky -> RE: Is oral a sign of submission? (1/18/2009 1:46:53 PM)

"One of my former Masters would routinely give me oral until I was screaming for him to stop because I couldn't cum anymore...."

Hmmm....Ummmm....I'm sorry subbiescarlette....this sounds like the greatest thing ever. Why ask him to stop?



SubbieScarlette -> RE: Is oral a sign of submission? (1/18/2009 1:47:54 PM)

lol because after a while you really can't cum anymore and it can kinda... be overstimulating



Ellsa -> RE: Is oral a sign of submission? (1/18/2009 1:49:43 PM)

I don't think I would ever commit to someone that did not love oral sex as much as I do, both giving and receiving.
Please re-read servantheart and calichick's posts.
Life is far too short to go without it.
:)
ellsa



Lucylastic -> RE: Is oral a sign of submission? (1/18/2009 1:50:00 PM)

not in my opinion no, I use it for tease/denial, torture and reward.I enjoy it, but Im in control. Its a sex act. not submissive or dominant, anyone who demands it but wont reciprocate is not get anywhere with me.
Lucy



rednicky -> RE: Is oral a sign of submission? (1/18/2009 1:50:08 PM)

overstimulating

Over....stimulating...nope I'm still at a loss. It all sounds fantastic.



vield -> RE: Is oral a sign of submission? (1/18/2009 2:19:16 PM)

Interesting how often this question appears.

Giving or getting oral sex is not inherently an act of dominance or of submission, it is a sexual act.

Yes following orders to give or get oral can be a submissive act, but the dominant act is the giving of the consensual order itself.

Just as giving impact play to a partner may LOOK dominant to an outside observer, when a Mistress says "Paddle my ass now, Harder." she is in control and dominanting. If she said "Lick my clit NOW" she would be performing a dominant act by giving the orders. If she said "I own this cock and I am Hungry, bring it here NOW." she is dominating, giving the orders.

Watching the video of a BD/SM encounter does not insure you will know who is dominating and who is submitting. Observing the encounter also does not let you be sure who is in charge. You certainly can decide who you think is doing what, but your thoughts do not make this true.

Even being part of the action does not insure you will have full understanding. A friend punishing my partner with a cane might think this puts him in charge, but those screams are her orgasms happening.

I enjoy giving oral to women extremely much, and sometimes when I am in charge of things I can not do this because I may drift into domspace, trance out in my own joys and lose the focus I need to keep the situation under control. That also means that a dominant woman "forcing" me to lick her in ways she thinks may punish or humiliate me really is just making me very happy.



DesFIP -> RE: Is oral a sign of submission? (1/18/2009 2:19:58 PM)

Some men like doing it, others don't. If you want a partner who does this, then be sure to ask about it.
Me, I'd just as soon he didn't because eventually he can't resist biting. And I hate having my clit bit.



Lee4U2tie -> RE: Is oral a sign of submission? (1/18/2009 2:21:06 PM)

I don't know myself if it's the case on the majority. but the Dom I met not long ago didn't go anywhere near downtown and wasn't very skilled with his fingers, so in that case at least I'd say that the Dom prefers not to lick or touch there much.  I think it's important to learn how to please a woman there, if a Dom really wants to get their sub into a frenzy.  Especially those subs that have a hard time cumming.



IvyMorgan -> RE: Is oral a sign of submission? (1/18/2009 2:21:09 PM)

Really, not the case.  There is absolutly a case of too much of a good thing, red.



CalifChick -> RE: Is oral a sign of submission? (1/18/2009 2:25:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

overstimulating

Over....stimulating...nope I'm still at a loss. It all sounds fantastic.


I hear what you're saying, but not all woman can "go there".  It is however, if I recall correctly (and my memory is a tad fuzzy, understandably), the way I learned how to have continuous orgasms (starts out multiple, then doesn't stop and becomes continuous).

Cali



ThatDaveGuy69 -> RE: Is oral a sign of submission? (1/18/2009 2:35:09 PM)

OK, this just HAS to be said:

Hey Nicky! Lay down and open your legs, slut. I'm going to give your p*ssy such a licking!  :D

I'm in Chicago - let me know next time you're in town :)

~Dave



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