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RE: "mark me" - 1/21/2009 7:16:42 AM

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Right so take the sex out of the equation. So it may not work long term but seriously MOST relationships actually dont work long term. I agree for safty reasons she shouldnt have sex without a condom with him. That goes for anyone though. But if she likes him then why not have a relationship if it doesnt work oh well.

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RE: "mark me" - 1/21/2009 7:20:33 AM

RCdc

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Hello angelbaby

First I would suggest you ask him what it means to him. He may be big on symbolism which is all cool. Asking what is 'normal' isn't what you should be asking IMO. Why? Because if you start assuming things as normal then your getting into the path of one true wayism and what is normal for one person it isn't normal for another.

Common sense dictates that you should make sure you use protection unless the fluid bonding is part of the whole act of symbolism he is into. If this is the case, you can consider both getting std tests done and getting yourself on the pill. Otherwise be prepared for the consequences and just be responsible really. Don't be afraid to ask him for std tests on his side, and if he acts in a negative way, for me, that woul be a good sign that something is a bit off. If you are going to be his, then the assumption is he wants to care for his property, not hurt it or make it feel bad or negative(ie you).

Having someone cum in you doesn't mean your 'marked' for me on a personal level and it cannot stop you having sex with anyone else. The only thing that can do that is your own word. If you want to have sex with him, go for it. But do it because you want to, not bcause it's 'normal' or 'protocol'.

the.dark.

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RE: "mark me" - 1/21/2009 7:23:38 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

If he's talking about "marking" her and making it so no man can never have sex with her again and this so called mark is actually having unprotected sex, then if I were in her shoes I would be worried that he did have a means of phusically marking me by with something that he's got and is willing to share. Doesn't sound romantic to me at all.

That's what went through my mind first off when I read it. Just what nasty, permanent little thing does this guy have? The next thought was, marked as his after ONE date????? Oh please...come on.....not even. How well do you know someone you've only met once or had one date with? Think, think, think, think. Pleeeeease think.

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RE: "mark me" - 1/21/2009 7:27:36 AM

RCdc

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Meh. This is a fast reply. I have had sex on the first date. It's not really the biggy that everyone seems so concerned about for everyone. You just have to be fully aware of the consequences and accept the responsibility for your actions.
People say sex like it's a bad thing. It's only bad for you if you get all emotionally involved with the act of sex with a person who isn't equally invested.

the.dark.

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RE: "mark me" - 1/21/2009 7:31:50 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Meh. This is a fast reply. I have had sex on the first date. It's not really the biggy that everyone seems so concerned about for everyone. You just have to be fully aware of the consequences and accept the responsibility for your actions.
People say sex like it's a bad thing. It's only bad for you if you get all emotionally involved with the act of sex with a person who isn't equally invested.

the.dark.

ditto ditto

I have had sex with people without knowing their name, and I have lived to tell the tail.

Ed: damn the.darkness and her wacky font

< Message edited by colouredin -- 1/21/2009 7:33:21 AM >

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RE: "mark me" - 1/21/2009 7:31:54 AM

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I've had sex on a first date, but I never did so with the assumption that it would be forever. In fact, I usually assumed it was a one night stand until the future proved different.

And when I was young and stupid it was unprotected sex, and while I won't say I'll never have impulsive sex with a person I hardly know, it would not be without a condom.

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RE: "mark me" - 1/21/2009 7:35:24 AM

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You bring up a good point, dark. I've had sex on the first date before too. That's not what struck me about this and I have no prob with that. What struck me was the unprotected part with a stranger. Condoms may not be 100% effective, but at least they offer some protection and for someone to want to have unprotected sex with and come inside someone who is essentially a stranger to them in order to mark them and the wording on not being able to have sex with anyone else after...........it raised the hairs on the back of my neck and made me wonder if the guy could be one of those with a permanent STD who wants to infect as many others as possible. You never know, you really don't. I'd just be aware of that possibility and ask the guy for STD test results and see if he's willing to wait until the results are verified and show him clean (with her doing the same for him) before doing unprotected sex.

< Message edited by SassySarijane -- 1/21/2009 7:38:29 AM >

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RE: "mark me" - 1/21/2009 7:41:32 AM

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Sex isn't the problem, UNPROTECTED sex is.

Wow I thought I'd heard stupid ways men try to get out of being a responsible sex partner awhile ago- and this is pretty darn elaborate as they go.

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RE: "mark me" - 1/21/2009 7:43:10 AM

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I mark slaves in two ways, after the probationary period a slave isautomatically collared (marked) with a Bruin Cottage Collar.Some time later if she fits my personal requirements regarding BDSM, and mundane activities about the home as well as able to drive me if I require it and act as my Aid d'Com, she may be considered for a Personal Collar. if all ois well, she will have her House Collar removed and formally replaced by my Personal Collar.Atthat time she will receive a small tattoo, being my brand, on the upper area of her left thigh.

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RE: "mark me" - 1/21/2009 7:51:20 AM

RCdc

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I just believe people are all jumping on the negative instead of just answering the question. Is it normal? Protocols and rituals are normal. Individual protocals and rituals aren't always 'normal' and basically it comes down to her making the decision. I am pretty down to earth and know the whole consequence thing but guys come on - so theres a bit of fairytale 'marking you for me and no other' vibe going on for the woman. For some people, that might be romantic and I am all for a bit of romance. Your second guessing the guy without have the full picture and making it seem like hes going to purposefully infect her. Just because you get an std - doesn't mean you are offlimits to others either so even if someones thinking like that, they are wrong too.

The guy has laid down the rules and given her a decision to make. It's not like he's wooed and seduced her - maybe he just wants to get into the commitment stage quickly - we don't know and so why all the advice telling her he is probably some freakoid rocks off disease ridden jerk? He might have rituals and laying them down so she has the choice seems pretty up front to me.

I get people want to protect others, but the question was - is it normal. Answer is - normal or not - it's whether you want to have sex - protected or unprotected - with a stranger and can you deal with the responsibility that matters.

the.dark.
(.andherdamnannoyingfont.)

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RE: "mark me" - 1/21/2009 7:55:36 AM

RCdc

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Sex isn't the problem, UNPROTECTED sex is.

I'd disagree Em. I don't see a problem with unprotected sex at all. The issue is responsibility and whether you are aware of all the options and endings and how to deal with it.

the.dark.

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RE: "mark me" - 1/21/2009 8:02:23 AM

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I talked with one dom who's "normal" protocol was that upon first meeting the female would obtain a hotel room, jimmy the door so it would be unloked, undress and sit on a chair in the middle of the room and blindfold herself before he got there. It was also an expectation of his that the female would accept everything he dished out without comment, if any thing he did was an issue for her, she could ask permission to talk to him about it after the sceen.

This was normal for him and he may find a female that will be OK with it, but was it safe or sane? Unprotected sex may be normal for this particular guy, hell I've talked to my share who have made it known that they never wear condoms. But as normal as it is for him, should that make it normal broadly through out the "lifestyle", should the norm for kinky people be more risky, should the normal for us be a lack of common sense? Because we are not "normal" according to societal conventions does that mean that our safe sex practices are not normal either?

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Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
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RE: "mark me" - 1/21/2009 9:09:50 AM

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I would not want to take on all that after 1 date. Wait and see and ask him exactly what "mark" is to him.

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RE: "mark me" - 1/21/2009 9:21:07 AM

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I'm not willing to allow someone to make a stupid choice without telling them it's stupid and informing them of their stupidity when they actively open that door.

Her making a stupid choice isn't a problem (at least not enough of a problem that we should keep people from making stupid choices).

It's a problem to see an obviously stupid choice and not tell them it is.

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RE: "mark me" - 1/21/2009 9:33:29 AM

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Why not tell him you'd accept a wrist bracelet first...and discuss the sex thing ....

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RE: "mark me" - 1/21/2009 9:39:02 AM

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I don't see an actual question in the two posts made by the OP... and I feel that a few of the responses are making assumptions not necessarily suggested by the OP...

Cumming inside a woman is a thrill for many men. There are also forms of birth control that can allow this to take place without the 'threat' of pregnancy resulting... Disease is another story but people can be tested to ensure they are 'clean'... Therefore I do see ways this could be done responsibly.

I do not see cumming inside a woman as a form of 'marking' her, and she could still stray from the relationship and have sex with others... but if this satisfies the desires of the man involved, and proper precautions are taken, again this step could be taken responsibly.

If a sexual relationship is desired by both people involved, and the man involved is only willing to have sex in a sexually exclusive relationship, I see no reason to criticize his desire to have sexually exclusive rights early in the relationship. The OP did mention in her first post that she also has the right to go her seperate way...

I personally do not 'screw' play partners. So I can understand the Doms desire to move forward in sexual exclusiveness with a sub he has only recently met but gets along very well with.

OP, can you clarify your question?

(in reply to Huntertn)

RE: "mark me" - 1/21/2009 10:02:10 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

quote:

ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMAAM1

You've never had a date where you talked all day, and night, and felt he's perfect, I want him forever? Yes it's impulsive, and I don't know if that magical connection will ever happen again, but I have been known to do one or two impulsive things in my life. M

Did you let him cum in you on the next date?

Aileen nailed it. It's unprotected sex with a stranger.

As far as the making a committment on the first date....a relationship succceeding from that situation is the exception not the norm.

I agree with this and the thing that concerns me is, why would you not be able to go with anyone else once he's had his cum in you? have you asked him if he's ever been tested for the black seed?.
I would suggest that before going any further with him, you go hand in hand to the SDT clinic and make sure your both clean. Love can last moments but aids lasts a lifetime.

Maria

< Message edited by allthatjaz -- 1/21/2009 10:03:11 AM >

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RE: "mark me" - 1/21/2009 10:10:19 AM

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Hrm.. seems to me to be a new, "But baby, I hate condoms!" excuse. Give him points for trying I suppose, but don't fall for it.

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RE: "mark me" - 1/21/2009 10:14:49 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Huntertn

Why not tell him you'd accept a wrist bracelet first...and discuss the sex thing ....

Yeah, let him mark you with some fucking diamonds.

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RE: "mark me" - 1/21/2009 10:23:46 AM

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Are you ready for a committed relationship? A monogamous (at least at the start from what you have said) no looking at other profiles, no play dates with other people, no emotional bonds with other doms, etc relationship after being alone for 2 years? Is it loneliness that is prompting you to consider commitment after such a short courtship or desire for this man? Are you ready to be "married" again? because if you aren't, even if you aren't sure, then you are not. Thank him for his offer, continue to see each other even, but do not commit to something/someone just because they are there and you are bored/lonely/horney.

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