submaleinzona
Posts: 77
Joined: 2/23/2009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Lockit
Not understanding submission and taking on a dominant role in this type of situation... with a vanilla... could also mean's she thinks you are a weak ass man and goes and finds herself a real man.
That's always been a problem for me in the past, too. Just like someone who posted earlier where a woman called him a "freak," that's often how I've felt. But I've never really thought of myself as a "weak ass man." And I know that I'm a real man, since I don't eat quiche. ;)
The definitions for "real man" tend to jump all over the map, from the Shell Answer Man to Ward Cleaver to The Incredible Hulk. From a certain male perspective, a "real man" might be more a love 'em and leave 'em type - which is where all the cheating comes into play. But then, other men would say that a "real man" is one who is faithful and honorable towards his wife and family, standing by and supporting them through thick and thin. There seem to be different opinions on that, which often tend to contradict each other.
As for chastity, there might be a "real man's" approach for that as well: Mount Athos, a monastic island run by the monks of the Eastern Orthodox Church. No females of any species allowed. At least, to be a monk and take vows of chastity is accepted by society and considered respectable, not "freaky."
It's always been kind of a dilemma, to try to conform, to live up to others' expectations, to not want to be seen as "weak" or "freaky," not just by women, but by other men and society in general. That's part of the reason I checked out of the game quite a while ago, because I didn't like the rules society was setting. It's somewhat contradictory and self-destructive in a way, as there's nothing on this Earth quite so dangerous as a man who is afraid to be seen as "weak." Some men understand this frailty within us and try to keep it under control, but it's very powerful. It may have worked up until now, especially when we had less-advanced weaponry, but now, I think we might have to consider abandoning some of the older ideas. Our animalistic instincts, however "normal" and "natural" they might seem to us, have to be curbed. I'm not necessarily talking about gender roles or sexual fantasies here, but it all seems to work its way into the overall fabric of society, even in the vanilla sense. If they really knew what they were doing, would this world really be so full of turmoil, misery, war, terrorism, deprivation, starvation, and despair?
So, in that sense, I don't much mind being thought of as "weak" or "freaky," since I know where the alternative can lead. Cause and effect. I have to live with myself, which is more important than living by a bunch of silly rules which make most people miserable anyway.
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RE: A females view on chastity for their male partner - 
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