RE: subbies (Full Version)

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kiwisub12 -> RE: subbies (2/8/2009 2:54:21 PM)

For me it isn't a term i use in real life - just on line, and it tends to be used because it is faster to type than submissives.  Meh - what is a dominatingly challenged person to do???? *shrugs shoulders*



windchymes -> RE: subbies (2/8/2009 3:05:41 PM)

It does grate on my nerves when I see or hear it.  Especially when they put the word "chubbie" in front of it. [8|]



DearJessicaD -> RE: subbies (2/8/2009 3:23:47 PM)

Yes. I hate it the same way I hate all cutesy words. Preggers is another cutesy word I hate.



Voodali -> RE: subbies (2/8/2009 3:32:30 PM)

...but I like to condescend to my dominance challenged subbies !



MasterFireMaam -> RE: subbies (2/8/2009 3:48:15 PM)

I think it'll go away about as fast as Domme. About all there is to do, really, is to make it clear to people who know you, or want to know you, that you don't like the word. Even then, it doesn't guarentee they'll stop using it; you can't control the actions and reactions of other people.

Master Fire



feydeplume -> RE: subbies (2/8/2009 4:25:34 PM)

Is Domme an unfavorable term? I know many don't like the "Dom/me" thing and I believe i understand why. I know many women prefer Domina or Ma'am or Mistress.

<<--- always wants to learn more.



TranceTara -> RE: subbies (2/8/2009 4:40:38 PM)

I agree with what Master Fire wrote.

I think it all boils down to respect. If there are words I know someone does not like, I'll use care in not using them around that person. I ask people at work what they like to be called when I see their name tag says one thing and I hear others using nicknames. I want to be respectful and in return to be respected.

It was interesting to read the different opinions and to see the reaction of those who wanted to just use the word in a toying fashion, ignoring that it offended you. So, in some cases, there are some that would most likely make it a point to use subbie, just to try to get a reaction.

The only reactions I can control are my own. If someone wishes to continue to use certain words or terms with me after I have specified boundaries, well, I won't be hanging around with them. I see far too little respect amongst people nowadays. I was talking with my store manager and a coworker and it seems to be a lot worse. Customers are getting downright rude and nasty these days. We just smile and do the best we can, but some days are harder than others. I like John Maxwell's A Short Course In Human Relations in his book Relationships 101:
The least important word: I
The most important word: We
The two most important words: Thank You.
The three most important words: All is forgiven.
The four most importnat words: What is your opinion?
The five most important words: You did a good job.
The six most important words: I want to understand you better.

What a wonderful philosophy to strive for! But for those who find that too serious, I like the words of Doctor Who number 9 in series 1, ""Excuse me. Do you mind not farting while I'm saving the world," and doctor number 10 in series 3, "Bingle, bangle, dingle, dangle, yikidee-do, yikidee-da, ping pong, lipi-tapi-tuta" Such is life. Have fun and respect one another.[sm=alien.gif]




WyldHrt -> RE: subbies (2/8/2009 5:18:52 PM)

quote:

Depends on the context and intent behind the usage of it. A group of friends bantering back and forth and using it in a lighthearted teasing manner, it's funny. Used by a stranger in a (usually in my experience) condescending manner...............forget it. Total turn off and I tend to take people less seriously who use it in a serious manner. It's a fun word not a serious word for me.

I very much agree with this, Sassy! If you think about it, saying "good girl" to a grown woman is really condescending, yet how many of us melt when it is said by our partner, or laugh when it is said by a friend in a joking manner?
Also, as someone else said, given some of the words used to refer to those of us on the s side of the kneel, I just can't see getting hung up on the word "subbie".



WyldHrt -> RE: subbies (2/8/2009 5:37:52 PM)

quote:

I agree with oceanwynds, it is juvenile to defend use of this word <snip>
</snip>This is not like a closely held belief that you should stand up for and defend.

Actually, oceanwynds said that the word sounded juvenile. It was you who decided that those who have and express a differing opinion on the word are behaving so. That said, are we to 86 all words that someone finds offensive? If so, we'd better get a backhoe.

IMO, a better approach would be for those who do not care for certain terms (subbie, little one, Domme, Sir etc.) to say so. People who respect them and their preferences will not use it around them and, if there are enough who don't like it, the word will fall into disuse. Trying to remove a word from "our" vocabulary with a thread would be a neat trick in any case.



beargonewild -> RE: subbies (2/8/2009 5:42:58 PM)

Gotta love the camaderie and curtesy that spews forth. *snort*



MidMichCowboy -> RE: subbies (2/8/2009 5:45:11 PM)

[:D] Well its not the first time I've read more into what someone said that what they meant. If so, I apoligize.

BUT, if you know a word offends people, is that word so damn special to you, that you will continue to use it?



Lynnxz -> RE: subbies (2/8/2009 6:08:14 PM)

I dunno. I'd count myself lucky to have my biggest issue to be someone calling me a subbie.

It's mildly obnoxious in person, but easily corrected. Online I couldn't care less.



mistoferin -> RE: subbies (2/8/2009 6:09:24 PM)

Oh I guess I don't give it too much thought. It is a silly word but it doesn't really get my hackles up too high. Sometimes I like it because it comes with such great opportunity to say things I wouldn't normally say. Like those times when it gets barked by some full-of-himself dominant trying to get your attention, as in "Hey subbie!". It just warms the cockles of my heart to see that precious expression on their face when I answer...."What can I do for you there, Boy?".



WinsomeDefiance -> RE: subbies (2/8/2009 6:21:10 PM)

I agree that if I know a word or term is widely disapproved of, or just generally annoying to the masses, I avoid using it.  There seems little benefit in being deliberately irksome.  I just prefer to pick my fights. 

Does the word bother me when used in a post or as a slang word for submissive?  Not one bit.  I don't use the word, or at least, can't recall ever using it, but that is because I tend to avoid unsolicited familiarity of that sort.  Just to clarify, it is a bit condescending for a total stranger to write me an email and open the correspendence with "Hello subbie."  In my opinion, it isn't annoying, merely presumptuous. 



Lynnxz -> RE: subbies (2/8/2009 6:45:54 PM)

Well the guys with the attitudes are obnoxious no matter what words they choose to use. :P



lilgirl2008 -> RE: subbies (2/8/2009 6:52:40 PM)

I have never been a huge fan of the term "subbie", and have often wondered how the Dominants would feel if we started referring to them as "Dommies".

So all you Dommies out there..speak out!



WyldHrt -> RE: subbies (2/8/2009 7:03:56 PM)

quote:

BUT, if you know a word offends people, is that word so damn special to you, that you will continue to use it?

Wow, nice red writing... and big font... and bold there, love.

That said, I do use the word with people I'm familiar with in a joking manner. If someone tells me that they don't care for it, I don't use it to refer to them.
Pretty simple, eh?



TranceTara -> RE: subbies (2/8/2009 7:22:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: lilgirl2008

I have never been a huge fan of the term "subbie", and have often wondered how the Dominants would feel if we started referring to them as "Dommies".

So all you Dommies out there..speak out!


Perhaps it is my lack of sleep, but I had to giggle at that one. I now get the image of cross dressing men who don't want to be daddies, but choose not to call themselves mommies. So we have Dommies. Dommie dearest.

I guess I have a Jekyll and Hyde (or is it Jekyll and Groucho?) personality in that one moment I feel like quoting Peace Pilgrim:
“Every good thing you do,
every good thing you say,
every good thought you think,
vibrates on and on and never ceases.
the evil remains only until it is
overcome by the good, but the good remains forever.”
--Peace Pilgrim[sm=angel.gif]

And the next minute I feel like I'm channeling Monty Python's Holy Grail:

“Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur King!
I don’t want to talk to you no more you empty-headed animal food-trough wiper! I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster... and your father smelt of elderberries!”
How you English say, I one more time... unclog my nose in your direction, sons of a window dresser. So you think you could out-clever us French folk... with your silly knees-bent, running-about advancing behaviour! I wave my privatge parts at your aunties... you cheesy lot of secondhand electric-donkey bottom biters!
I burst my pimples at you and call your door-opening request a silly thing. You tine-brained wipers of other people’s bottoms![sm=evil.gif]

Words do have power. The ability to use them is an artform and talent that few master, but those that do can influence people to do unbelievable things. Just look at Hitler and then look at Mother Teresa. Both had influence and knew the power of words and how to effectively use them.



dcnovice -> RE: subbies (2/8/2009 7:24:25 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: lilgirl2008

I have never been a huge fan of the term "subbie", and have often wondered how the Dominants would feel if we started referring to them as "Dommies".

So all you Dommies out there..speak out!


Now I have a picture in my head of a kids book called Big Dommie Tommy!



NuevaVida -> RE: subbies (2/8/2009 8:11:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

I dunno. I'd count myself lucky to have my biggest issue to be someone calling me a subbie.



Well, yeah.  :)  I don't see anyone here saying it's their biggest life issue though.  I've been accused of being "too serious" before...so it's no surprise that I'm not into cutesy words.  Is it an issue for me?  Well, making it an issue would be as silly for me as using the word.



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