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RE: a couple's third - 2/21/2009 12:46:21 AM

evelinggirl

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Thank you, everyone, for the informative posts!

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Post #: 21

RE: a couple's third - 2/21/2009 1:35:25 AM

barelynangel

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Hi,

I think from what i read of your OP, you are trying to compare the fact that people see you capable of a multi-relatoinship to your own ideas of what you would like in a relationship. I don't think they see you ONLY as a concept of a third but more that who you are is well multi-purposeful and they see who you are as a person who is capable of blending together with a couple to make a triad versus making it 2 plus one. I think its cute because it seems to me they see you as glue, capable of holding and blending it all together. I really don't think its an ALL you are good for, i think it seems to be a high compliment of your capabilities with regard to relationships.

If your needs are you want to be someone's one and only, then to me, its a given that you would be capable if not more of blending two people you and another just as well as you are capable of being part of a triad. Or it could be simply -- they don't know any single people to hook you up with and they are trying to play cupid lol.

angel

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RE: a couple's third - 2/21/2009 8:57:59 AM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: evelinggirl

I've been mentioned three times by three different couple/people that I would make a good "third" to their relationship. One of the people told me I was the one person they EVER considered being in a poly household with.

mmmmmmmm well.. maybe you could be my "fourth" *w*

but seriously... I think the terminolgy is implying some sort of hierachy of importance priority etc. It very might not be the intention but maybe that is what is nagging you.

For myself... Kyra is our partner (Alandra and I)... I am their partner (Alandra and Kyra)... Alandra is our partner (Kyra and I)... in short... we are Parners! there is not first or second.. fourth.... fifth etc. I don't refer to Kyra as my second and never will. Yes she came into my life after Alandra.. that is the reality and truth of it.. but that doesn't make her second in the relationship. There is only one first... as that is the Us (Alandra, Kyra and I) after that it rather irrelevant.

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RE: a couple's third - 2/21/2009 1:05:12 PM

DavanKael

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I have been told that I'd be the only person that certain folks near and dear would consider in a non-mono relationship, were they to have one. I take that as a compliment.
As far as the term "third", I would say that how it's taken has tons to do with the dynamics between the folks. Also, role and stratification, understanding one's place, status is very important to me. I think I may have offended my ex's stepMom shortly after he and I married when I introduced her as my 'StepMother-in-Law'. To me, I was carving a very deliberate niche for her and was not lumping her in with my Mother-in-Law; I viewed calling her that as showing an acknowledgment of her individuality to me and giving her respect. I think she thought I was diminishing her in some way. That old poly-mantra (And, truly, very human mantra, comes up again and again: communicate, communicate, communicate. And, as a toss in, I'd say to try to ask questions without assuming or expecting an answer.
Best wishes,
Davan

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RE: a couple's third - 2/21/2009 4:53:19 PM

LPslittleclip

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poly is not for everyone and although there are some who would find you a welcome addition to the family, you must find the path for you. i found poly and it very much suits me well. for you it may not but don't shy away from it just on the titles, but be open and true to yourself.

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Post #: 25

RE: a couple's third - 2/22/2009 2:10:55 PM

pynkspydrz

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Hubby and i are looking for our third, in respect that they would be the third person to join our union. Not that they would perpetually be kept at arms lenghth. I actually want a female equal in all manner of life from the mundane to the erotic. The word 'equal' even has its disputes. And I don't mean tit for tat equality becasue that is not fair to the person/people you are demanding full equality from.

You have the right to your own feelings and wants and needs.
Don't ease up on what you need.

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Post #: 26

RE: a couple's third - 2/23/2009 10:06:52 AM

EclipseAbove

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To the OP's questions:

Sounds like you've gotten three offers. If being part of more than a one-on-one relationship isn't for you, take them as compliments. It takes a certain temperment to be seen as making a good "third" (aka a good candidate for a poly situation) and that is a positive thing no matter what kind of relationship you are in. What makes someone a good "third" also makes them a good "first". It is all about what you want and what makes you happy. Just make sure you are looking for and encouraging the things that you want.

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Post #: 27

RE: a couple's third - 2/23/2009 3:42:17 PM

Maya2001

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From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
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quote:

I've been mentioned three times by three different couple/people that I would make a good "third" to their relationship.

Well they can't very impress you by saying you will make an awful 3rd..... and if you are joining a couple in a relation you sure won't be first or second.

If you do not want to be a third then take couples out of your search list

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RE: a couple's third - 2/23/2009 4:29:52 PM

SirRussellP

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You seem to have a lot that many Doms are looking for so I agree with Maya2001 either remove the couples or be more specific. Do you just like the idea of enjoying a threesome but don't want to join them in a more then once in a while fling? If so let all know up front.

Lol, sure there is plenty of couples that would be thrilled to share you without a long term commitment.

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RE: a couple's third - 2/23/2009 5:37:48 PM

Huntertn

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Why not consider it a complement? To me its more they seem you as 1. sane and 2. Fun to be around and #3. They think your mature for your age. That your not poly doesn't mean your not all the above and they can tell.
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Post #: 30