RE: Why SO much sissy/fem male subs??? (Full Version)

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babyboyk -> RE: Why SO much sissy/fem male subs??? (2/8/2007 11:08:22 AM)

related to the subject, i am not sure why some guys would want to be 'forced' into feminisation, surely, theres no such thing???? i can understand the wish to be feminised, but that is surely consensual, or have is missed the point somewhere????



LadyEllen -> RE: Why SO much sissy/fem male subs??? (2/8/2007 2:51:34 PM)

Forced feminisation is really no such thing babyboyk - youre right. Its something the crossdresser wants, but does not want to admit to wanting; a woman "forcing" him takes the responsibility for what he regards as a shameful desire, away from him.

I'm trying to get a better understanding of crossdressing in the sense of humiliation, because for many ladies here they find it bizarre that a male can hold a woman in esteem and yet find it humiliating to adopt a feminine appearance. Additionally many ladies here find it somewhat insulting to them, that submissive stereotypes of femininity from bygone times are so often portrayed by sissy type crossdressers. I dont believe that this is the intention of the crossdressers in question, yet that is how it often seems to be perceived.

My contention is, that this is much less about feminisation, as it is about de-masculinisation, and is a variation on a theme also found in cuckolding and chastity play. In those instances, the male is humiliated by way of a woman rejecting his penis and yet maintaining control over it, through his desire for her. I feel that sissification is about the very same thing; the male desires to be psychologically castrated by way of such an overt rejection of him that she no longer sees him as a man at all. Since much of a male's self esteem is bound up with his penis and his erection, it is this demasculinisation which humiliates him - not the clothes per se, and it is his playing into the role of female in consent to that humiliation which produces the sissy persona as an auto-accentuation and reinforcement of demasculinisation.

?

E






ToGiveDivine -> RE: Why SO much sissy/fem male subs??? (2/8/2007 3:00:42 PM)

I always considered cuckolding as a way for the woman to feel special, not as a de-masculination tool.  It doesn't matter if she actually takes other partners or not; it's the fact that he is okay if she does.

The same kind of goes for the chastity thing - it's the "Hey, my winky is very important to me, but I'll let you lock it up because you are special" type of thing.

In each of the above cases, humilation can be thrown in for entertainment value - the "look whom I'm doing or clean me up" or the "I've locked your pathetic worm up" type of play.

For me, it's making her feel special - it takes alot of trust and respect on both sides to make it work, but there you have it.

As for crossdressing, it's not really for me because I'd make one damn ugly woman.



LadyEllen -> RE: Why SO much sissy/fem male subs??? (2/8/2007 3:18:04 PM)

Are you disagreeing with me, TGD?

Youre gonna get such a hiding LOL!

Interesting points though; does that handing control over to her play a part in all three types I mentioned though I wonder? The same thing could be construed to be occurring in the sissy scenario too? Is there not there, a sacrifice of his manhood to her too?

E



ToGiveDivine -> RE: Why SO much sissy/fem male subs??? (2/9/2007 7:06:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

Are you disagreeing with me, TGD?

Youre gonna get such a hiding LOL!

Interesting points though; does that handing control over to her play a part in all three types I mentioned though I wonder? The same thing could be construed to be occurring in the sissy scenario too? Is there not there, a sacrifice of his manhood to her too?

E


Gosh LadyEllen, you know I'd be your bitch anytime - LOL

Personally, for me at least, it's not so much the sacrificing of my manhood as it is sacrificing my ego.  So, if she wants another guy to "play" with and the trust / respect is intact, then it's not that much of an issue. 

My ego would be hurt if she left me or hid it from me; if she came up and said, "I want him", at least I'd know she trusted me enough to know I wouldn't get upset at her saying so and I'd know she respected me for saying something up front.

Well, I guess I'm just wired different



paulaN -> RE: Why SO much sissy/fem male subs??? (2/9/2007 7:55:04 AM)

All I know is I love to crossdress and I would love to serve a master or mistress in a 24/7 situation for a least a weekend to see if that is my place in life. forced feminization is a dream of mine that has not gone away. That's why I would love to serve someone on a trial bases. will someone help  me.



Ericus1 -> RE: Why SO much sissy/fem male subs??? (2/9/2007 8:08:21 AM)

Lady Ellen,

thank you for your well thought out response.  it is rare to find someone not insulted or scared by the concept ofbeinga sissy.  i am a sissy slave to my Mistress.  yes, you are correct that most of it has to do with demasculinisation.  for many sissys, the clothes arealmost secondary.

it is very rare that i encounter someone with a real understanding of this.  and yes, many women are insulted by it.  fortunately for me, my Mistress enjoys it greatly.  thank you again.



iwearpanties -> RE: Why SO much sissy/fem male subs??? (2/10/2007 4:56:04 AM)

i seen this post goa long way here i think theres many of us who crossdress and dont feel where putting Real Women donw by it nor are we makeing fun of then some of us just like the power and enjoy wearing your clothes as well as helping us live are fetishes and wants as subs



weejacker -> RE: Why SO much sissy/fem male subs??? (2/10/2007 5:30:54 AM)

Some of us guys love being feminized for ladies that love to dominate men.I know I do have a feminin side to me.I am into pleasing a good Mistress in everyway possible.Why does it always have to be traditional?Traditions are meant to be broken to open up new ways.Whatever it takes to keep your relationship interesting.I have joined this site to find the perfect Mistress for me.I can be whatever she likes and that's what keeps it interesting.



iwearpanties -> RE: Why SO much sissy/fem male subs??? (2/10/2007 11:40:04 AM)

hey there weejacker i agree im like you i enjoy it and its what i love and when dressed i love makeing the MIstress happy i know not all of them like are type of submissive either .. but some do



Tslaveboy -> RE: Why SO much sissy/fem male subs??? (2/10/2007 2:14:50 PM)

The whole dom/sub thing is about power exchange. Feminization just naturally goes with it. As a male, I have so many priveliges and so much power at my command that by being feminized I can escape all of that male stress and responsibility.



subexploring -> RE: Why SO much sissy/fem male subs??? (2/10/2007 2:29:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FTopinMichigan

Really, and I'm not making this up...most women enjoy men to be men. Do an archive review here, and I think you'll see the results yourself.

K



There's already a culture where men are submissively forced into strict masculine roles that they can't deviate from at all, unless they want to be punished through contempt and hostility...it's called the mainstream...check it out.



MissBabydoll -> RE: A Veritable Smorgasbord of Kink (2/10/2007 5:42:16 PM)

Lola, you nailed it. This conforms completely to My experience (on and off over a decade) with fem sub males, usually lumped together as "sissies" (though not all of them are that exactly). They don't want to be female, just feminine, which as any butch lesbian will tell you are not the same thing. Femaleness is biological, femininity is socially constructed. Everyone is somewhere on the butch/fem continuum the same way everyone is somewhere on the homo/het continuum, or the top/bottom continuum.

I think a lot of fem males start out that way because they don't feel a psychological "fit" with masculine traits and behaviors and adopt feminine ones as the other option, especially because, in the binary logic of gender, everyone who is not a "boy" is a "girl." (Incidentally, has anyone else noticed how intense the "femiphobic" anxiety is on *Scrubs*?) Also, ironically enough, I think that fem boys worship femininity because most girls don't respect them, having already by age 7 or so been socialized to feel that, although boy-boys are dumb and rough and have cooties, girlyboys who want to play with them are weird and icky. So sissydom usually involves a huge amount of eroticized shame. The fem male is at  the bottom of the hierarchy of gender, which I see being thoughtlessly reinforced in the BDSM community (including these boards) just like everywhere else.

That said, as a Domme and a kinky person I can't be entirely sorry that so many of my Sisters don't care for sissies. I get to pick the cream of the crop, and they are so grateful! But I'm totally sincere. I have always preferred androgynous or outright feminine males as lovers--so sensual and passionate and attentive--and they can make wonderful subs at any age. (My oldest at present is 70, and a sweetie.) Besides, I do like sliding my hand up under a skirt and finding a stiffy to play with!







mogigo -> RE: A Veritable Smorgasbord of Kink (2/11/2007 4:25:34 PM)

Growing up looking for dominant signs and messages in society, as thats what I was attracted too. You can probably imagine I found few if any. The only signs of dominant sexuality was portrayed by men, so I definately started to relate more to women than men, but I also played lots of sports so I also relate on that level. I think it pretty much kept me right in the middle of genders. I'm a hetero submissive male but I have many fantasies about being gay, being female but every situation is me as submissive. In other words the only images I saw of submissiveness were in those two things so they became my standard for being a submissive. The last thing I saw and sadly many many years after I was done maturing was females being dominant. Imagine my happiness when I found out I could remain heterosexual and not cut anything off to be submissive. The fantasies that shaped my sexuality remain though. I think even lesbian dominance was portrayed more in the media and society. In other words were considered the lowest of the low in society. So we dream about being a girl which would be totally accepted, and we dream about being gay because thats better than being a sub male.



mnottertail -> RE: A Veritable Smorgasbord of Kink (2/11/2007 4:27:15 PM)

I really could see myself slapping some of you up with a fillet of lutefisk.



subboi3382 -> RE: A Veritable Smorgasbord of Kink (2/12/2007 12:09:49 AM)

In my case (I have a male master), I really like being feminized. It's not necessarily that I am a closet cross dresser, I like it as part of the power exchange. I don't cross dress much, lol actually mostly I am kept naked at home, feminization for my master (as well as a lot of guys I have been wiht) and me is more about actions. I don't know that I would request it, but I would have fun wiht it if a Dom(me) wants to do it. I think wiht most male subs we are conditioned for it



iwearpanties -> RE: A Veritable Smorgasbord of Kink (2/13/2007 3:14:03 AM)

subboi i know just what your talking about .. im a very masculine male in public youd never guess or know i was wearing panties or other things under male clothes .. i also play sports in school and out of scholl even colleg and once pro basketball .. as for my self i  love the power exchange of letting anther take control of me and being submissive .. and its so rare too FInd a Mistress or Master that will Dom sub males like us .and true what Miss BVaby Doll said we sub /male that wear and like wearing females things are at the bottom of the barrell as submissives go ..



twicehappy -> RE: Why SO much sissy/fem male subs??? (2/13/2007 3:22:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ToServeIsToLive

The only other option is to try to change them maybe start a new trend... forced rednecksation?


Oh i want to teach this one.
 
We shall start class by making everybody dress like Larry the Cable guy then proceed to language skills presented by Jeff Foxworthy.
 
Corn bread and beans for lunch followed by how to correctly lift your leg and fart class to really impress the ladies.......



babyboyk -> RE: Why SO much sissy/fem male subs??? (2/18/2007 11:51:57 AM)

so, am i right in thinking, its a way of the Dom/me, in teasing out what is already in the thoughts of a male sub, particuarly of alleged societal norms? i know i am perfectly happy with my status as a slave to Mistress, though i can understand a guy's wish to take an alter ego (i personally have no desire for this type of thing, but i have an open mind....as i have no prejudices that i know of)



iwearpanties -> RE: Why SO much sissy/fem male subs??? (2/20/2007 12:27:04 PM)

well maybe what he telling us is to make the sub male feel lower then he is why not laso make him wear panties n bra s or other females things then he the sub can realy feel the power a Dom has over him/ her or in are minds this it what its telling us we are a male thats crossdressed is lowest form of sub  frist may be female sub then male sub then a real tv then the male sub whos dose pass as fem nor wants too be fem the masculine male that crossdressed



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