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RE: Best comebacks? - 3/6/2009 1:40:19 AM

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All very funny... but I love my signature the best:)

Sorry hardbody..I know it doesnt fit your definition of a comeback. But it would be a great comeback if someone were to call you a prick~

< Message edited by babygurlrides -- 3/6/2009 1:42:32 AM >

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RE: Best comebacks? - 3/6/2009 11:38:04 AM

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The others were cute, but don't quite fit my definition of comeback. To really be a comeback, it has to take the initial insult and somehow turn it around on the insulter.

Sort of the verbal equivalent of judo, then - using your enemy's weight against him?

Another Churchill - this time in exchange with George Bernard Shaw. Shaw wrote to Churchill inviting him to the premiere of his new play. He wrote,
" . . . Bring a friend - if you have one".

Churchill wrote back saying he was otherwise engaged for the premiere night, but that he'd come to the next performance " . . . . if there is one".

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RE: Best comebacks? - 3/6/2009 11:39:43 AM

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Yours is a good sig - but I reckon mine's better.

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RE: Best comebacks? - 3/6/2009 11:42:04 AM

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From a comedian who'd been heckled all night by a spotty teenaged boy:

"I like girly girls and I admire womenly women - but I do dislike boily boys"

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RE: Best comebacks? - 3/7/2009 12:34:42 AM

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You win!! :)

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RE: Best comebacks? - 3/7/2009 1:13:59 AM

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"Suck my dick"
- Thanks, but I already flossed.

"Go fuck yourself."
- If I could do that, why would I lower my standards to pick you up?

After being called a "Pussy".
- They do say 'you are what you eat', how exactly do you like your shit prepared?.

This was always good for shutting up the other guy/gal.
- And this coming from a two dollar whore with a four dollar coupon.

Another classic between Lady Astor and Winston Churchill:
Astor - Winston, if I were your wife, I’d put poison in your coffee.
Churchill - Nancy; if I were your husband, I’d drink it.

One from Full Metal Jacket that I've always wanted to use, of course always remembering it 30 seconds to late to say:
- Did your parents have any children that lived?

Not really a comeback at all, but I just love the line in the beginning of "Way of the Gun"
- Shut that cunt’s mouth or I'll come over there and fuckstart her head!

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RE: Best comebacks? - 3/7/2009 4:44:10 AM

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Yet another Churchill . . . .

At a dinner party, Churchill belches loudly. An outraged male dining companion says,

"Sir, how dare you belch in front of my wife!"

Churchill replies "I'm sorry, I didn't know it was her turn"

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RE: Best comebacks? - 3/7/2009 11:36:26 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

The others were cute, but don't quite fit my definition of comeback. To really be a comeback, it has to take the initial insult and somehow turn it around on the insulter.

Sort of the verbal equivalent of judo, then - using your enemy's weight against him?

Another Churchill - this time in exchange with George Bernard Shaw. Shaw wrote to Churchill inviting him to the premiere of his new play. He wrote,
" . . . Bring a friend - if you have one".

Churchill wrote back saying he was otherwise engaged for the premiere night, but that he'd come to the next performance " . . . . if there is one".

I refer to this as "verbate," as in verbal karate.

Uncle Nasty

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: Best comebacks? - 3/8/2009 9:40:51 AM

impishlilhellcat

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I have a friend that when you throw a good comeback at him he'll always say eat my dick. One day he said that to me and I looked at him and said well I would, but my mom told me not to put small things in my mouth I'll choke. He doesn't ever say that to me now.

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RE: Best comebacks? - 3/8/2009 3:14:51 PM

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Arthur C Clarke and Issac Asimov had a long-standing friendship... and rivalry. One day there was a near-disaster, as a jumbo jet took ill mid-flight, and the pilot struggled to bring it down safely. One of the passengers told reporters she had kept from panicking by keeping her nose in Asimov's latest release. Either Asimov had waved the story in Clarke's face, or Clarke himself broached the subject (don't remember, I read I.A.'s autobiography close to 20 years ago now), but in any case he taunted Asimov: "see, the poor woman used your book to drift off to sleep in mid-crisis!" Asimov retorted: "a pity she didn't have one of yours, so the eventuality of her death would have seemed a welcome release."

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RE: Best comebacks? - 3/8/2009 3:25:29 PM

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Favorite movie comeback

Jerk- Suck my dick!!
Ving Rhames- Whip the little fella out....

I had a friendly relationship with this guy who always liked picking on me. One day, when I was serving waffles, he wound up with the warm maple syrup in his lap. I felt embarassed and offered to grab a paper towel. He said not to bother- so I looked at him and said- You like the warm, wet feeling? He never picked on me anymore....

Sam

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RE: Best comebacks? - 3/8/2009 5:42:09 PM

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This one tends to shut a lot of people up. Can be used when receiving cock shots or any situations where some twit believes I'd submit due to his sexual prowess.

"My dick is bigger than yours."

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RE: Best comebacks? - 3/14/2009 10:18:41 AM

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A man once stopped me while I was coming out from a gas station. He was dressed in a suit and yep, he had a bible in his hand asking me had I been saved? I told him "no". He said "God wants you to be saved. God wants..." I stopped him and I said to him...

"Listen....me and God, we have a deal. I told Gob that I'd be the best person that I can be and in return, God keeps you people from bugging me while I'm doing that. Now, you don't want to make God a liar, now do you?"

He just stood there looking at me with the most dumbfounded look.

boi

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RE: Best comebacks? - 3/14/2009 2:48:56 PM

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heh...you stut him down fast, jen.

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RE: Best comebacks? - 3/14/2009 3:21:24 PM

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I used to work for a company that did live jousting at Renn faires. Between shows, we would put the horses up backstage so they could relax and eat in peace. One day, while the horses were having lunch, we looked over to see 2 women pestering them and one of my crew politely asked them to leave the horses alone and pointed out that they shouldn't be in our backstage area unescorted.

As they were leaving, the older woman turned to us and said in a snotty voice, "We were only petting them and my daughter just LOVES horses!"
Without missing a beat, my boss turned to her and said, "Yeah? Well I just LOVE pussy, but you don't see me over there petting yours!"

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RE: Best comebacks? - 3/14/2009 4:35:00 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

This one tends to shut a lot of people up. Can be used when receiving cock shots or any situations where some twit believes I'd submit due to his sexual prowess.

"My dick is bigger than yours."

OK, LP - here's a question. Supposing you were to receive a cmail from The Incredible Hulk or King Kong, each announcing that he had Dom inclinations. Do you think either of these gentlemen might bring out a latent submissiveness in you? Or would they, too, find themselves stretched face down and manacled over a bench in your dungeon in double-quick time?

< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 3/14/2009 4:37:43 PM >

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RE: Best comebacks? - 3/14/2009 6:48:55 PM

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when a hick trys to pick a fight "you a fag?!",
"ya wanna fuck?" works best if you can make them wonder if your propisitioning them or calling them on (results may vary)

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RE: Best comebacks? - 3/14/2009 6:53:28 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
OK, LP - here's a question. Supposing you were to receive a cmail from The Incredible Hulk or King Kong, each announcing that he had Dom inclinations. Do you think either of these gentlemen might bring out a latent submissiveness in you? Or would they, too, find themselves stretched face down and manacled over a bench in your dungeon in double-quick time?

now taking bets:

LadyPact    3:2
Hulk          10:1
King Kong   17:1

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As a rule, I don't like to make general statements.

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RE: Best comebacks? - 3/14/2009 6:56:32 PM

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My granny, when she was very young, got flashed by a pervert on her way home from school. The legend goes that her reaction was something like "Ugggghhhhhh, I wouldn't like to have that thing dangling between my legs.".

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RE: Best comebacks? - 3/14/2009 7:00:30 PM

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LOL Kittin. My favourite response to flashers is, "Does that come in an adult size?"

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Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

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