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RE: Best comebacks? - 3/14/2009 7:05:50 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

LOL Kittin. My favourite response to flashers is, "Does that come in an adult size?" 




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RE: Best comebacks? - 3/14/2009 7:13:13 PM   
IGuess


Posts: 2
Joined: 3/14/2009
Status: offline 		I love when I get people in my office and the ask me what they hell I am doing. I kind of look at them with a skewed eye look and reply.
Hell if I know, I am still waiting on the computer to start up and tell me.

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Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Best comebacks? - 3/15/2009 2:18:59 AM   
subharlequin


Posts: 54
Joined: 2/20/2009
Status: offline 		me and some friends were at the store getting snacks for super bowl i needed to get my son some deoderant my buddie need some shampoo..in between us was on older couple. he has a game of lets embarrass me he likes to play.......

him (shouting)...."honey which douche did you say you preferred???
me( shouting back without missing a beat)...."the vinegar and water..you love the bitter taste and smell."

i'm not sure who was redder him or the couple...but i walked away with yet another win :)

kk so another scenario: out drinking with a bf at the time ..we go back to our hotel and do the dirty gurty...me on my tummy..him on me..he flops over and all out of breath slaps me on the ass and sighs happily and says.....
him:  your ass was made for my cock....
me:  i'm not sure if i should take that as a compliment ..but that wasnt my ass... 

a guy goes in and starts to strut around sa all guys are want to do when they think htey are knig shit....anyhoo his buddies ask him what was up...
him:  my girl just told me im hung like a gorilla!!
needless to say after his buddies quit laughing he never mentioned gorillas again
(clue: gorillas are only (about) an inch long...makes you realise why they are so pissy)

if they say eat me..say: ..i dont do rotten

another fave is when people carry on about nothing and you make a comment to the effect and they do the typical nonplussed reply of:
them: what/huh?
you...your hair looks nice...
them (confused yet flattered) why thank you i just.......

you looked smarter with your mouth closed...

just because you can talk doesnt necessarily mean you should

if i wanted your lip i'd drop trou


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RE: Best comebacks? - 3/15/2009 9:15:07 AM   
FourQ


Posts: 1370
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

I used to work for a company that did live jousting at Renn faires. Between shows, we would put the horses up backstage so they could relax and eat in peace. One day, while the horses were having lunch, we looked over to see 2 women pestering them and one of my crew politely asked them to leave the horses alone and pointed out that they shouldn't be in our backstage area unescorted.

As they were leaving, the older woman turned to us and said in a snotty voice, "We were only petting them and my daughter just LOVES horses!"
Without missing a beat, my boss turned to her and said, "Yeah? Well I just LOVE pussy, but you don't see me over there petting yours!"

ROFLMAO
Brilliant!


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RE: Best comebacks? - 3/15/2009 5:51:48 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		Another Faire, my knight and I were standing at the rail with his horse after a show, and this drunk comes up with a girl under each arm. He takes a long look between the horse's back legs and yells, "I's TRUE. I AM hung like one!!!" While I fell over laughing, my knight replied, "How proud you must be Sir, to know that you are hung like a mare." 

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RE: Best comebacks? - 3/15/2009 10:39:06 PM   
YoursMistress


Posts: 894
Joined: 12/17/2008
Status: offline

That's awesome!!!


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RE: Best comebacks? - 3/16/2009 7:15:35 AM   
Saratov


Posts: 1716
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		When a woman comments/complains about the 'small' size of a man's penis:  Even the mighty redwood seems small when placed in the Grand Canyon.

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RE: Best comebacks? - 3/16/2009 8:34:35 AM   
FourQ


Posts: 1370
Status: offline 		I have a tradition of cupping myself and saying "You should see mine, I'm hung like an ant!"

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RE: Best comebacks? - 3/16/2009 11:16:59 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		I guess everyone's heard:

"It might be a small organ - but then, it wasn't made to be played in a cathedral"

?

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RE: Best comebacks? - 3/16/2009 12:12:29 PM   
NightTigress


Posts: 706
Joined: 12/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Dom: Ok so I changed my mind...

Sub: Awesome! So, is the new one any better?

I am going to have to remember that, I will probably not like what happens after I say it, but I think I still might just to see his reaction

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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Best comebacks? - 4/3/2009 11:38:10 PM   
MainFragger


Posts: 59
Joined: 2/28/2009
Status: offline 		Another one of my favorites is,

Did you think of that all by yourself? I hope you didn't burn out your only brain cell in the process.

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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Best comebacks? - 4/4/2009 12:09:10 AM   
hlen5


Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline 		This isn't insulting but I still get a chuckle from it. I was leaving thru the back door of fire fighter-themed restaurant/bar. The local firefighters hang out there.

One young Fire fighter pretended to bar my way and said "You can only use that door if you've put out a fire". I looked at him and asked "Does it count if you've ever been on fire?" He blushed and I continued on my merry way.

edited for typos

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RE: Best comebacks? - 4/5/2009 5:29:36 AM   
rivenmoon


Posts: 330
Joined: 6/5/2005
Status: offline 		I have this terrible headache, I tried to get rid of it but you keep hanging around.

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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Best comebacks? - 4/5/2009 5:31:30 AM   
rivenmoon


Posts: 330
Joined: 6/5/2005
Status: offline 		please feel free to subsitute "terrible headache" to "pain in the ass" wherever applicable.

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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Best comebacks? - 4/8/2009 2:57:08 AM   
JulieorSarah


Posts: 552
Joined: 8/25/2007
Status: offline 		A conversation between a Dom and sub.
the Dom at the time was having a problem multi-tasking (again) and  the sub said

Sir you can't help it ... you are a male afterall ...

Dom:  I can do two things at one time - i can make love to you and think of Elle (Mcpherson - the Body - international model) at the same time. ..

Sub:  Ahh i can understand the confusion!


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