RE: True love in a relationship

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RE: True love in a relationship - 1/24/2006 10:07:33 PM

EvilGeoff

Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL:
... We are wondering If in most D/s relationships is there true love between the parties.

Or is a lot of just fantasy and play acting

Jake and sherry

Hi Jake,

In my experience, I can truthfully say yes.

Yes, most D/s relationships evolve into loving relationships at some point. Whether it's early on or late I can't say. But one person's "true" love may be another's "how the fuck can you DO that and call it love?" So how do you define "true love"?

Yes, most D/s relationships involve fantasy and play acting at some point. The bratty student and the Stern SchoolMaster, the Naughty Nurse and the enema patient, Hell real life roles as Mom & Dad dealing with the kids and homework... We ALL assume roles in our lives and relationships to perform various tasks and meet different needs. And we for damn sure play from time to time. If we aren't playing and having fun with our partners from time to time, why would we be with them??? Our partners are supposed to be fulfilling our fantasies, just as we are supposed to be fulfilling theirs.

Again, if the people in a relationship aren't fulfilling their needs and the needs of their partner, why are they bothering to remain in the relationship?

I could try to compare my relationship to yours or KoM's or LA's and try to justify that mine is somehow better or superior. At one point in my life I certainly would have used this question to do just that. *shrugs and smiles* I got better.

I'm 24/7, I'm as "real" in this lifestyle as anyone can be (and there are folks here on CM who've met me f-2-f and can verify that and I can provide LOTS of references not on CM). I am me, janey is janey. And our 24/7/365 relationship meets my needs and the needs of janey. Our way works for us and if something I share is useful for someone else that's all good. And if no one uses a word of what I post, that's okay too.

Love, fantasy and play are not mutually exclusive in my world. 24/7/365 relationships are not any more pure or true or real than part time relationships. They are just different. Poly, swing, kink, D/s, M/s, SM, B/D, leather, BDSM whatever... arguing which is better is like arguing over which flavor of ice cream is best... butter becan or chocolate or chunky monkey, or french vanilla or whatever. One is not "better" than any other regardless of how much you may like it. YOUR flavor works for you and that's great, just don't expect or require everyone else to feel the same way though.

YIK,
- Geoff

(in reply to ncdom62)

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Post #: 41

RE: True love in a relationship - 1/25/2006 10:45:20 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
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i have to agree there is no middle ground there are lovers and there swingers just that simple

(in reply to EvilGeoff)

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Post #: 42

RE: True love in a relationship - 1/25/2006 9:26:17 PM

DragonNphoenix

Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

My Master is My soul mate. He is my everything. We have a 24/7 though we also have to deal with the mundane and the outside world. But we are deeply in love and are married and totally exclusive.

1st Girl Phoenix

(in reply to ncdom62)

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Post #: 43

RE: True love in a relationship - 1/25/2006 10:52:27 PM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

except for shopping... didn't want to get arrested

Thats why I loooooove shopping online :-). You can do it naked while drinking a glass of shiraz.

ditto!

except, lately i can't find my corkscrew. :(

(in reply to justheather)

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Post #: 44

RE: True love in a relationship - 1/27/2006 9:48:33 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
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rumpus thats and adorable pic purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

(in reply to RumpusParable)

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Post #: 45

RE: True love in a relationship - 1/27/2006 10:33:56 AM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ncdom62

I assume all of the replys to our questions of real love

went unheard

seems D/s and bdsm and s/m must involve some type of kink, pain or being a master and slave

and who says mowing a lawn is vanilla, as a couple of you asked.

Is riding a pony vanilla,

Or baling hay

Like I really want to know the definition of S/m bdam then

Because We have one, We don t get up at 8 am and ppuch a clock and say Good morn

everyone

We live a real D/S lifestyle

If anyone is real your more than welcome to visit and see what a REAL LOVING relationship is

For me, riding a pony is a vanilla activity, but hey, your kink is your kink.

Saying that you are "true" and "real" don't make your emotions anymore valid than the rest of the world, it just makes you seem more ignorant. Personally, I live with the love of my life, whether or not a piece of paper registered with the state we live in says we are legally joined doesn't make me love him any more or less.

Also, I am 24/7 who I am. I am a mother, lover, girlfriend, friend, sister, daughter, niece, grand daughter, community activist, volunteer, consumer, sub contractor, and a DominaNT (not dominaTE) woman, among other things. I am always a combination of all of these things.

Your post as well as your profile remind me of a few others I've seen, thay seem to scream..."I am real!!! Please, believe me I am real! I am not here to meet likeminded people, but here to prove to someone, anyone, that I am real!!!! And, I am so real that I don't believe that anyone else is really living the lifestyle that I so desperately want to know about. I mean, I don't really think any of you are real either, I mean...umm...ahem...COME SEE HOW REAL I AM IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME!!!!!"

< Message edited by yourMissTress -- 1/27/2006 10:35:47 AM >

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to ncdom62)

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Post #: 46

RE: True love in a relationship - 1/27/2006 12:04:57 PM

KittenWithaTwist

Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ncdom62

yea work, play family what does that have to do with real 24/7 D/s relationsship?

Um, everything? Work, play, family-these are the things that make us fully functioning humans.

_____________________________

"Time travel: It's a cornocopia of disturbing concepts." ~Ron Stoppable

(in reply to ncdom62)

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Post #: 47

RE: True love in a relationship - 1/28/2006 12:28:51 PM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
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what about us aliens y ou know we are kinda of people too ok i admit in space its hard to find things to do on a ship but give me time i will think of something

(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)

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Post #: 48

RE: True love in a relationship - 1/28/2006 2:57:21 PM

Petruchio

Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
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quote:

what about us aliens y ou know we are kinda of people too ok i admit in space its hard to find things to do on a ship but give me time i will think of something

Ordinary aliens are so full of mucous.

However, the Gorean aliens are so damned fastidious, always going on about how unclean humans are.

We just can't win.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

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Post #: 49

RE: True love in a relationship - 1/29/2006 12:57:13 PM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
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never met a human i did not want to disect

(in reply to Petruchio)

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Post #: 50

RE: True love in a relationship - 1/29/2006 11:45:29 PM

lovewithoutfear

Posts: 153
Joined: 7/11/2005
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Huh, I agree with you, that love is not a prerequisite for a satisfying D/s or M/s relationship. Mine is more satisfying without it than it was with it. To each their own.

But I think I take issue with your sigfile. I have both stable relationships and a "stable" (though I wouldn't call it that) of relationships. I don't find this an either/or choice in my life.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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Post #: 51

RE: True love in a relationship - 1/29/2006 11:56:19 PM

lovewithoutfear

Posts: 153
Joined: 7/11/2005
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Yup,...I'm here to say that the OP hasn't learned a darn thing y'all have been trying to teach. Here is his email to me, and my reply:

ncdom62:

"Interesting

all you share is stories

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM?

if you would like to talk to REAL people let Us know

Jake and sherry

My reply:

I don't know what you are talking about. Due to the nature of the medium, all *anyone* shares online is stories (and information). I am a genuine person, and attempt to portray myself and my experience honestly and respect others' "stories" as well. I appreciate the same in return, and with few exceptions such as yourself, have found that respect here. My "stories" as you disparage them, are all true tales of my REAL experiences shared in REAL life with REAL people... I don't know what you intended to achieve with your insulting communication, but do not contact me again. I have reported you to the management of this website for abusive communication.

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Post #: 52

RE: True love in a relationship - 1/30/2006 12:04:50 AM

lovewithoutfear

Posts: 153
Joined: 7/11/2005
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Good to see you here, Geoff. I agree with you. However, the point I'd like to add is that in a relationship such as mine with Sir, there may not be True Love (TM) but that makes the relationship no less valid. "fantasy and play acting" can be a good thing, but I think that here the OP is using that term to mean a relationship that isn't "REAL" by his definition (oh puhleeze). I love and serve Sir, He accepts my service, we both derive great satisfaction from it, it works for us in our REAL and complicated lives, and that's a REAL as it gets -- True Love (TM) or no True Love(TM).

Thank you for introducing yourself in person Saturday afternoon. As I said then, I appreciate your rational voice on the boards and email lists.

(in reply to EvilGeoff)

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Post #: 53